Stuck In A Sticky Wicket/Confessionals

Day 34
"cuarcita"

- SO TEA! I was able to get the 3 people I love dearly in Elizabeth, Matthew, and Andre to vote for Su with me. I also helped to keep Matthew sane enough to keep his idol in a ""just in case"" final 6 scenario (although I'd definitely say it was his choice at the end of the day, I do think me being so pushy in a Su vote and the other side being so pushy in an Andre vote made him more comfortable).

Su going kinda. sucks on a personal level. He was someone I had grown very close to, but he was feeding Torsa and Jayme way too much information to make me comfortable, and he was relying solely on them during the last round where he voted for me. He had to be taken out, and so while I will, again, say it sucked to do that... it had to be done.

What good came out of that? I don't know if they're forreal, but Torsa and Jayme came to me after I had heard they were upset, and they said that they held no ill-will against me because it was a good move for me for the future of this game! And I have to agree... but I don't know if their attempts to work with me were something that I can really fall for? Like do they know that either group of people I go further with, I probably lose to? If I go with Torsa and Jayme, who have been after me for eons now, then I'll be taken out most definitely. If I go with Elizabeth, Matt, and Andre... probably the same fate, but at least I don't look as dumb doing it, ig? I don't know! I'm stuck in a sticky wicket, but I'm hoping to find a nice way to slither through this round, if I don't win immunity, into the next!

This is a mish-mosh of thoughts, but I think... it's everything I have in my head for now! If I win immunity, I'll do another big rank-down post and then maybe some thoughts on my end-endgame. If I don't win immunity, then I'll wait till after tribal in case I'm struggling to survive.

"cuarcita"

- So I think Torsa slightly beat me in immunity so that's a cute look, but let's hope I still might've maybe pulled this one out?? Who knows. I don't because I'm dumb!!!

"cuarcita"

- So i finally did it. Day 34 and 6th place. I DID ITTTTTTT! FUCK YES. I have equalled my placement from Newfoundland and equalled my day count and knowing that I have achieved that I know i can be proud of myself. This game has been HARD thus far and knowing that i have survived makes me like really happy! I know that i haven't been playing the best game so far but everyone still views me as a threat i guess so LOL. and the best part. im guaranteed 5th cause of my beautiful little merge idol will be played tonight (cause it has to be played cause this tribal is the last one it can be) so unless some dumb shit occurs, i should be a-ok.

So Elizabeth and I took out Su, much to jayme and torsa's annoyance. sorry guys i love you both dearly but you can't have everything lol. I just straight up new Su was going to be used against me at some point, plus Andre wants Torsa/Jayme out more before me. Has this move killed my game? honestly maybe but we will deal with that later. jayme and torsa have apparently gone to brian to ""work together"" and then brian told me lmaaoo. not slick. but if i call them out then i'll just be a hypocrite tho so.... idk LOL. its gonna be an interesting tribal sooo ya we love it!

Day 35
"cuarcita"

- As tribal council comes closer, it is time for me to make my (potentially) last confessional. My biggest problem is that when I feel like someone wronged me I have a tendency to not be able to hide by bitter/bitchiness when I know I should be kissing ass to stay in the game. Unfortunately, that's just not how I'm wired. I have a very low tolerance for bullshit. And that is ALL I'm getting from Matt and Brian.

First, let's start with Matt. Matt was my #1 all fucking game and I went to BAT for this kid. I held vital information he told me that I could have used to blow up his game. I defended him during the Alex vote and afterwards and got in trouble for it. After he threw me under the bus w Torsa to Andre, I STILL was ready to take his ass to final three and say ""It's okay--we'll move on."" Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Matt is DEAD to me, and now is tryna play that dumb ""idk what's gonna happen"". Girl. It is the FINAL SIX. If you really are ""waiting to see what everyone else wants"" at this point you are playing the wrong game. But, I know Matt. I know that that's not how he's playing this game. He just doesn't want to play with me anymore, and that's fine. I don't need him or his twisted, dumb logic and his assuming Su going is still best for him. Seriously-- ""I know where Andre stands so I voted Su who sucks at challenges and rides coattails""--ANDRE STANDS AGAINST YOU, HE WAS TRYNA VOTE U OFF THE LAST THREE TRIBALS AND TORSA AND I DEFENDED YOU. YOU'RE EITHER SO DUMB OR...IDK BUT IT IS SO FRUSTRATING. Anyways, Matt has been talking to me like I'm fucking stupid and like I don't know wht the fuck is happening and it's so gross. Just, go.

Brian...I'm less mad at. Like, no, I'm not mad at him at all. It's just...it seems so easy. After the vote we talked about how me him and torsa are probs going to get 6, 5, and 4 respectively--and I honestly believe it to be true. The only issue is I don't think he actually thinks that. I think he's only saying that to make me and Torsa complacent. It ain't working though...like at least w Brian I can't tell if he's 100% bullshitting or not, but it just seemed too easy--like he was so receptive and that's what sketches me most.

My main goal of this tribal is to reinforce the ideal final three now--Torsa, Elizabeth, and I. I adore Elizabeth sm and like if she votes me off I won't be upset with her, but I genuinely think this final three is best for everyone. Torsa and I made so many ppl in jury mad, and Elizabeth is a utr player who might be overshadowed by Matt/Brian/Andre. idk. I <3 her and I hope she takes my proposal seriously bc that's all i want rn--someone to actually take me seriously.

I'm like ... there's an 85% chance I go home this tribal. I'm not gonna give up, and I'm going to try to act happy and receptive to working to whoever wants to hear it, but...it's looking bleak. I'm just satisfied I was able to play with Torsa for so long and it's honestly been such a pleasure ;; <3

"cuarcita"

- I didn't win immunity, and I think I might be fucked every round, but I think I'm OK???? Like I think they wanna vote Andre, but I'm hoping we can all pull it in and not vote Andre and split up the duo! But Andre hasn't been fully into these last few rounds, and I think he's just going to give up KJFHAS... I hope not, I love him infinitely... but kjHFA... :(((

"cuarcita"

- Thought I'd add a cute little video cause I haven't done one for a while! Caño Cristales Day 35 - We love a growth arc

"cuarcita"

- So it seems im for some reason getting my own way and andre is leaving tonight. watch it be flipped on me honestly. not cute. but if it does we deal with it cause all it is is a game, and to be sole survivor we a d a p t to the scenario we are given. its just like kinda chill n shit and not here for it. GAH. not happy about the silence or just how quiet it is but everyone seems to be on board. if they weren't future matt, you really did just play yourself. dumb idiot. at least i hope no one rains in my idol parade i literally beg i will be mad.