Board Thread:Season 46 - Kariba/@comment-34175753-20180414161154/@comment-33060993-20180415203255

Jordan/Becky!!! I've missed you and our conversations so much and I'm loving talking to you already. I'm sorry I got so held up on this response. Every single one I post has a series of aggressive misconceptions posted by a fellow unnamed finalist that I will being going through and addressing because I'm not here for that!! I'm here to fight until the bitter end, hopefully with some cute jury votes. Five would be lovely. I'll kinda address your question and commentary simultaneously, because they go hand in hand-- thank you for the specificity of the topic, especially because it's a wonderful opportunity to address part of the reason I referred to myself as hitting the radar for early merge in my speech!

''As a way of wholly convincing me that the claims in your speech are authentic, what was the initial purpose of branding yourself as a goat? Since, let’s be real, someone with three individual immunities and a couple of idol plays up their sleeve, doesn’t actually qualify as one.''

To explain the individual immunities and idol, I really wanted to be a goat with some pretty decor so I could be prettier than the others xoxo.

In all seriousness, my idol was a safety precaution - I understand there are more inventive ways of using it, but I simply didn’t need to and letting it go might have put me in a really precarious position at five, so saving it up is something I am happy to have done. The immunities all served individual functions within my game, but I pushed for them at v specific points. The merge vote was to allow the dynamic to set without becoming collateral. At F7, I had just been targeted for the first time, Matthias had been hostile towards me and safety was honestly just a v cute concept given that adversity. At F5, it was essential to Cirie Jack, so I was counting until 1AM on a school night. Who needs sleep when you can have a virtual necklace?

The self-deprecation was intended to downplay the threat I posed. A goat is a waste of a vote. My goal was that at some point, when targeted, the perception would be that there was a better opportunity at hand. While I can’t speak for you and your incentive in keeping me, the perception that I was a non-factor was something I wholeheartedly believe helped me when attention shifted to me. If it was a testament to our bond, then it works for my social game. If it was one to your perception of me as a non-entity, then it works for the purpose of my self-branding. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. Either way - the way I navigated my dynamic with you was ultimately optimal enough that you and Matthias saw it necessary to put in work to keep me and shift the target to Louise. Ultimately, it served as a safety blanket for a vote, though perhaps at the expense of a consideration of me as a contender.

But - in all fairness, I only wanted to survive on the merit of that strategy once, hence why all references to myself as a goat basically stopped after F8. There is a time where perception and reality become blurred to an alarming extent. Once, that strategy was a useful utilization of some frequent self-hate to dodge a target. Twice, and I think the line would have blurred. It’s why the second time I survived a target - F6, it was on the merit of the bonds I’d built with Jack, Vincent, and Roisin and my ability to maneuver them to an optimal outcome - this is perhaps the best explanation for my shift. It was a cloak for some time, but wearing it too long could make sure that at a critical and reflective point like this, the distinction was no longer made clear. Part of me wonders if that could be the case now.

As for the distinction between the brief overview my speech provided and the specific play-by-play of the rounds, as well as my contributions and own moves, Dan’s “Crucial Points” response or Jack’s “Key Role” are great reads that clarify, though I’ve yet to dispute the most recent of Ms. Roisin’s commentary on my responses because time and I aren’t getting along these days. After this is posted, that’s the plan after a quick moment to go live my best life for a little!

Thank you for your time/questions, and I don’t think your speech was too harsh at all. I actually really appreciated the opportunity to discuss our dynamic, because I pushed the “goat” narrative hardest with you out of anyone, and I’d hate for that impression to last into today. I know you’re not leaning towards me, but I hope this and my other responses are a good opportunity to reconsider. I am putting in a lot (perhaps too much) work! And flipping last minute is v cute after all!! xoxo