Board Thread:Season 45 - Molise/@comment-30451911-20180222083014/@comment-33629256-20180222173720

'''Q1: What would you have done had you lost immunity on each of your pre-merge tribes? Can you talk me through the relationships you had, and how you would have played it?'''

I really would have tried to see where each individual vote was headed before making my decision but I think I have a fairly solid grasp!! On the original Vicino, I would have stayed with Aaron and Jason and brought Mai along to vote out Chris. Aaron and Jason were close and I had considered siding with Mai and Chris to vote them and give myself the power on that tribe, but that would ruin any social bond I had with Aaron and Jason. I think the best route would have been to vote Chris and keep the tribe united. But on the first Vicino I was tight with everyone, although Mai was the person I felt closed to.

On the second Vicino, I was again close to everyone. I would have targeted Ashley however, because I felt a connection to yourself and Trey and because Chris had been with me on the first Vicino. When Izzy joined, she would have been my first target, but if people were going to vote Ashley over her then I would have been fine with that too.

On the third Vicino we ended up voting Ashley!! But my second target would have been Marty, although I would not have pushed that because I knew that Jason, Aaron and Marty were quite close.

Q2: Did you have that immunity run planned, and what made you so confident you could pull it off?

I did have that immunity run planned!! I tried to play the game like Natalie Anderson and play under-the-radar until final 7 and then emerge as the front-runner, which I really think I did. Part of that was the immunity wins.

I was confident I could pull it off because I could have won more challenges that I deliberately did not win. Touchy Subjects, I deliberately said certain answers that would not anger people even though I knew I was throwing away the wrong answer. Flash games, puzzles, etc, I had the fastest time or highest score but deliberately did not send them in. I guess I thought at final 7 that I needed the clues, the biggest physical threat in yourself had been eliminated, I reached a point where I just thought, I won’t even give people the opportunity to turn on me.

'''Q3: Do you think the jury is missing anything about Marty and Harrison’s games? Alternatively, do you think they are receiving any undeserved credit?'''

I think Marty deserves some credit for being the only member of the minority to get to the end, that is definitely something I respect.

However, I think he is definitely receiving undeserved credit in many areas. For example like I said, he was the last remaining member of the minority alliance but that was not decided by him. It was decided by myself and Jason at the final 4, and before then, he would have left at final 5 if it was not for me and Harrison wanted to blindside him at final 6 before that. He had absolutely no input into these decisions that saved him three rounds in a row. This was not his social and strategic bonds saving him.

I also think that his confessional is maybe receiving some extra credit than it should, although Jerry’s speech covered that.

I think the major thing that Marty is receiving credit for that he shouldn’t be is the overall impact he had on the game. To me it was very minimal, he was not involved in many decisions and even if he did display strategic awareness in chats, he never used that effectively. He had the potential to control the entire merge if he eliminated people he wasn’t close to at the beginning, he could have positioned himself as the major player in the whole merge, and he chose not to. Also, I really shaped my perception as a goat deliberately but Marty had that perception because he genuinely did not do much during the game.

As for Harrison, I think mostly it’s an accurate portrayal of his game!! However, it’s the Trey vote that he might be getting too much credit for. I was messaging Jordan talking about the vote, and we had 3 votes on Trey from literally before Elias was even eliminated. I then told Jordan that I would make Harrison think it was his move (like you advised me too!!) and now he thinks it was, even though the move had been planned 3 rounds prior. He was the fourth vote in an already decided plan.

'''Q4 (personal question, feel free not to answer): On a more personal note, I gave you my idol when I was evicted but was told afterwards that had Trey decided to tie the votes, you would have voted me to counter this. I’m curious to know whether this is true and how much of our chats and discussion that day was purely so that I would give you my idol, and how much was genuine (not salty at all, just wondering).'''

It was about 50-50. I did try to save you at the beginning, however I realised quickly into the vote how impossible that would be. I felt like had you survived final 8, you would have been eliminated at final 7, or final 6, and even if you weren’t then I would have been perceived as the weaker player of us both. Once I realised that, a lot of my intention became self-focused and about the preservation of the idol.

For voting you, it would have taken a lot for me to do it from a social and strategic position. Firstly I really did not want to vote my close allies and once Jordan left, I was pretty certain I would never play another game again. I think there’s a perception of me right now as being a cold gamer maybe, Trey and Jordan’s speeches both seem really upset with the way I played the game, and while that has merit it is not entirely true. I was willing to make strategic moves but the social bonds I formed were not fake, I genuinely think of almost the entire merge cast as friends, but the game really requires that to be tested ya know. From a strategic position, it would have undermined the loyalty persona I was playing.

I’m not sure how upset you are with me, but, before I get into the deeper questions of Jordan and Trey, I want to apologise if I hurt you in any way like I hurt them. I tried to separate emotion and gameplay and I think to some extent I failed and it’s left people upset, and that really is not what I wanted. I really thought people appreciate the moves and know that, while I was being genuine with them personally, the vacuum of the game meant that I had to lie to them in order to play the best game (in my mind). We have an amazing friendship and I hope it can continue without the falsities of the game.