Board Thread:Season 12 - All-Stars/@comment-11497002-20140215165803

Hey everyone. My speech is rather long but I appreciate you taking the time to read through it. Some of you I never got a chance to talk to so I’m glad I have this opportunity to give you some insight into myself and how I played this game, as well as answer any questions or comments you may have.



I knew how difficult this game was going to be. There were 24 great players, all of whom have what it takes to win. I came in as the underdog, the one that didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the cast. From the day the cast was released – before the game even began – I’ve had people telling me, the hosts and the ORG community that I didn’t deserve to be here and that I was an awful player. From the very beginning I’ve been fighting not only to survive in this game but to defy the expectations people had of me. Even now, after I’ve come so far, people are still judging me on preconceptions. But I made it to the final. I made it all the way here on my own merit. For me, this wasn’t just a game. It was a chance to prove to myself and others that I’m worthy, that I can accomplish my goals and succeed as long as I believe in myself, even if others don’t.



I don’t pretend to be perfect, or to have played this game perfectly. I made mistakes but I didn’t just ignore them. I accepted them, learned from them and made sure I didn’t repeat them. I played a flawed game the first time around in Korea. I had never before played or followed an ORG and so I played quite passively and cautiously. There were moments where I could have attempted to better my position but I was too afraid to take the risks. I was naïve to the important role cross-tribal alliances often play in these games. So I learned from those mistakes and I set out to overcome them in All-Stars. This time around I was much more assertive in establishing relations with people. I didn’t want to be just a number in an alliance. I wanted to be the person people would turn to when considering their next move; the person people would consider a close confidante and an indispensable part of their core alliance. I knew it was important to secure a strong position early on that would last throughout the pre-merge.



I also considered my strengths and weaknesses, and worked out ways I could overcome those weaknesses and how to play on my strengths. The clearest example of this I can give you is how I went about forming relationships and how I approached an important element of this game: alliances. I think people often get caught up in the ‘alliance’ side of the game, thinking that it’s necessary to have a powerful majority alliance that controls the game. Certainly that’s worked for players like Kim and Rob who have the natural leadership skills to pull something like that off but I think the key to doing well in Survivor is to be aware of your skills and utilise them to the best of your ability. I can’t be a leader; I don’t have the confidence or authoritative air to dictate to others what to do. At the start of this game I knew I wouldn’t be able to ‘run’ an alliance as the leader, so I focused on what I knew I could do well: building strong relationships on a one-on-one level. I couldn’t control a group of six but I could work with six people as individuals. So instead of focusing on alliances I formed individual relationships and agreements with several key people. I identified the people who had control of their tribes and formed relationships with them. I quickly bonded with Taylor on Tambo. Knowing there would be a future tribe swap at some point I wanted to keep our tribe as unified as possible. I didn’t want anyone defecting at the swap. So I voted for Ali in order to keep the vote unanimous. I then formed a bond with Ash and through our conversations learnt she had many connections with people on other tribes and knew a lot of what was going on. Identifying her as an invaluable ally, I knew sticking close to Ash would be beneficial for me. At our second Tribal Council, Kevin and Taylor voted Andrei, and Ash and Andrei voted Kevin. I was the deciding vote. Wanting to keep Ash as an ally, I eliminated Kevin. Voting out Andrei would have alienated Ash so by keeping Andrei I was able to keep Ash on my side. The four of us were able to come together as a really strong group. We started winning challenges and even throughout the swap, we remained tight and kept each other informed about what was happening on the three tribes.



Hunter approached me in the first few days and suggested we work together. I knew Hunter had Gerard and Henry on his side on Rolih so I agreed to work with Hunter, which in turn meant Gerard and Henry would be likely to work with me if the need arose. This proved to be very helpful, as when I was swapped onto the Mpilo tribe I was immediately able to team up with Hunter and Henry. After learning that no one on the new Mpilo tribe had approached Lloyd I approached him myself and we quickly formed a strong connection. That gave me security through my individual connection with Hunter and Lloyd that protected me through all three Tribal Councils on Mpilo. During that time, I was the only one on that tribe not to have a vote cast against me, a testament to my social skills and ability to work with people. Throughout the pre-merge I also had bonds with Mike on Zuma and Sole on Mpilo. So whilst I was never in an alliance of more than four people, I was still secure due to aligning with those that gave me control over the vote-outs, gave me information on tribe and alliance dynamics, and – most importantly – gave me options on who I would work with at the merge.



For me, the tribal phase was not about voting people out who I didn’t want in the game, but about keeping in the people I wanted. I protected those who I knew I could trust and who would in turn protect me at the merge. I reached the merge with really only a formal alliance of three: Andrei, Taylor and myself. But I also had Lloyd, Sole and Jhet on my side. I knew those people – and the connections they had with others – would protect me for at least the first merge vote. Instead of just having one alliance and risk having someone flip, I had several agreements with people in different positions. It was set up so that I couldn’t be blindsided. Gerda and Adam couldn’t organise anything against me without me hearing from Lloyd. Taylor would make sure Zac would vote with us. Sole and Jhet were outsiders but couldn’t be recruited by others against me. So even though I was the only one not to vote for Jhet at final 11 I wasn’t at risk of going home due to the relationships I had formed pre-merge.



After Jhet’s elimination, it became clear to me that Andrei and Taylor had a deal with Adam and Gerda, and that their priorities lay with them. I knew they would still keep me around until final 6 but I wasn’t going to coast until then and let myself be voted out. So I started making alternate arrangements. Uli approached me on working together and – having just voted for him – it was the perfect alliance that no one would suspect (even if Uli does like sharing information with everyone :P). After Sole’s elimination, Uli and I tried to bring together those at the bottom of the totem pole to flip the power dynamic. I attempted to recruit Zac, Gerard and Lloyd, except that Zac told Taylor of the plan. I had to abandon the plan and assimilate back in with Andrei and Taylor but I didn’t give up on the idea, I just had to find a new way to implement it. I was fortunate to win a hidden immunity idol at the next auction, knowing that it or the double vote could be the answer I needed. I again tried to get Lloyd to vote with us but discovered he was protecting Gerda at all costs. So I made the decision to play my idol on Zac and eliminate Adam. Getting rid of Adam was the first time I put a target on myself, but it moved me up to final 5 and forced Lloyd, and Andrei and Taylor to work with me more, having taken out one of their allies. Playing the idol to eliminate someone rather than keep it to save myself was an example of me taking risks and playing assertively to better my position. My game plan had always been to create social bonds that would prevent me from being voted against, to make sure there was always someone people wanted out before me, and to present people with a strategic reason to keep me around. Having created a situation where I did not need to use the idol on myself, using it to eliminate Adam opened up my options and gave me a lot more control over how the game played out.



I again tried to get Lloyd to vote with me, Uli and Zac, explaining that Gerda was the only one left of his alliance interested in keeping him around. He would not turn against her; however, and the best decision for me was to stick with Andrei and Taylor to vote out Zac and then Uli. At Uli’s elimination, I did vote for Gerda just in case Uli had an idol. I took a risk – singling myself out and going against the others – because the payoff would have been worth it if I could have gotten rid of Gerda, meaning Lloyd would have been allied exclusively with me, and Taylor and Andrei would have needed my vote to get rid of Lloyd.



<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Final 5 was really the first time I was in serious danger. Without immunity, I very likely could have been going home so I put all my effort into winning the challenge. I did not stop until I knew I had a perfect score. Having immunity at Final 5 gave me a lot of power. Lloyd and Gerda both had hidden immunity idols. After learning that Gerda was playing her idol on Taylor and the two of them were voting for Lloyd, I told Lloyd he needed to play his idol on himself and we split our votes between Gerda and Andrei. Our split vote provided great power: Lloyd and I now controlled who went home. I used our vote to leverage a deal with Gerda, where she promised never to vote against either of us if we saved her at the revote. At final four she broke her word and tried to get me voted out but I outmanoeuvred her. I played Taylor and Lloyd against one another, convincing them both that I was voting with them against the other. My social skills and strategic decisions meant I had gone from being targeted to being in control of the vote. It was manipulative but it worked. Even with Gerda presenting screenshots to Taylor of me promising a final three deal with her and Lloyd I still convinced him to trust me and vote the way I asked him to. So yes it was manipulative but right until the end I successfully utilised my social skills to get and keep people on my side, and to convince them to do what was best for me. I didn’t do it by sending screenshots of conversations or making up lies about others; I created genuine trust that could not be broken even against undeniable evidence. I received my first and only vote on Day 38 at the final Tribal Council. I can't think of a better example to show how strong my social game was and how successfully my strategic decisions served me.

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I have fought hard through this entire game. I didn’t coast by in a majority and I didn’t just follow orders. I’m still fighting now. I’m up here against two previous winners. The odds are against me but I made it just as far as them and I believe I played this game just as hard and well as they did – if not harder and better. I have shown great determination in this game. I never gave up on my goals. If I failed, I acknowledged where I went wrong and devised a new course of action. I didn’t just follow one set path to the end. I created options for myself. If one option seemed better for my survival in this game then I took a risk and went for it. Some may consider my ‘open-options’ approach devious or tantamount to flipping and backstabbing but I never set out to hurt people, only to get myself through this game. And yes, I have deceived people and I apologise if I hurt you on a personal level but I cannot apologise for the way I played this game because I did what I had to do to get me to the end. I didn’t make promises I had no intention of keeping. I didn’t tell people I had their back if I knew I was going to vote them out. If I broke a deal or promise it was because it was no longer a viable option for me to honour it.

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I played this game for me. I wanted to achieve something I could be proud of and I am proud. I helped people along the way and they helped me. But at the end there can only be one winner and so I had to do what was best for me. If I couldn’t do that then I couldn’t expect anyone else to. I hope you consider all that I’ve done to make it this far. I appreciate you taking the time to read what I had to say. And I thank you for being part of a game I enjoyed playing. Regardless of whether I receive your jury vote I hope I still impressed you in some way.<ac_metadata title="vote for ben"> </ac_metadata>