Times Like These Get Me Paranoid/Confessionals

Day 31
"semeru"

- HOLYFRIGGINCRAP IT WORKED!!!!!!! alex, dude i'm so sorry but like you're a beast and i always see you online. take a rest for a while. and i'm sorry because lol i literally forgot that "don't vote each other out" deal with alex. ooops. but like i checked my chat history, and alex did NOT actually say yes to that. anyways, you had me thrown in the chat so time for some serious damage control. especially now that chris keeps checking up on me because "i want him out". so here's what's got to happen: 1.) loxias better shut the hell up and stop talking to chris that i wanted him out. like dude, you also wanted chris out. go throw yourself under the bus. 2.) mikey needs think that chris is running this game lol and he wants him go go gone. 3.) please don't let chris win immunity but omfg it's the weekend. *sighs*

"semeru"

- Thank goodness that spaz Alex is gone, I mean I'm worthless also but him being so arrogant and cocky made him even more worthless in this game. At least now one of the disgusting back stabbers in this game is gone. Now I just need to focus on the other despair filled people of this game.

"semeru"

- Tribal just ended and Alex was sent home by an unanimous 6-1 vote which was a little bit surprising to me, because I really thought that I will get some more votes. But now with Alex gone the situation is very interesting now because there could be another tie coming. But I don't think that would happen. I am pretty sure that I can convince Mikey to vote out Chris. Then there is another possibility of voting out Danielle. It is very likely that if she gets to the final tribal council she wins, because this jury will be hell bitter. I am a bit afraid that she could possibly go on a immunity streak. Our next IC is a 24h endurance challenge, where I have no chances of winning because I am still on a family trip so I have not much time. (Additionally, the Ice hockey championship is on now in Prague and that makes me having even less free time but whatever...) I think that Danielle is going to win this one bc I think she realizes that she could be next now so she won't go to bed and just do the challenge

"semeru"

- Oh thank the lord alex is gone. I take back some of the bashing of him, i take everything back except for calling him arrogant and cocky because that's the truth. He is cocky, he is arrogant and he is now out of this game. That's what happens when you make a stupid decision to go to rocks to save a really big threat in the game which is danielle. You did this to yourself, Alex, and I hope you see you made a big fucking mistake and a dumb decision. That was revenge for Dani. Also on the topic of taking things back that I've said, I take back everything bad I've said about mikey. Yes he is annoying, yes he can't keep his mouth shut, but I think he's been learning and has been doing much better and is genuinely a good person. Mikey I hope you see this one day, because I do apologize to you.

"semeru"

- I was under the impression that if Chris was immunity, we’d go after someone like Mikey, but no. Michelle and Loxias wanted Alex gone, and Alex wanted Loxias gone, and I’m still super confused about it. Alex ended up going home, and I’m pretty sure that I lost his jury vote in the midst of voting him out. I did what I had to do to stay in the game, and if it meant voting out Alex, that’s what I had to do. I liked Alex, I felt bad about voting him out. That week, I also approached Chris and asking him to tell me who he was voting out, and I was also going to ask him if he wanted to make a deal with me, but unfortunately, he started screaming and yelling and calling me a liar and started being a jackass, and made it obvious he doesn’t like me, so I gave up on that because I don’t like being friends with those type of people

"semeru"

- okay, i just realized idc who between loxias and chris will be voted out this round. so long as they don't reach f4.

"semeru"

- Then there is one more think that worries me...I really think that some people want to go with Sheryl to the end because she is no thread. But I don't want to do this. Because of that possible bitter jury, she could eventually win without making any move in the game. I am so pissed that she didn't go at the first tribal; if that happened, Bjorn would probably be still here and the situation would be completely different, but that is past now and I must concentrate on the game

"semeru"

- Now I'm a bit worried that Danielle voted for Alex. Clearly she was informed to vote for him and I'm guessing it was Michelle that informed her. We're now at a point where the numbers could possibly be tied, I know I have 2 votes in sheryl and mikey, Michelle keeps saying she wants Loxias out, so you'd think michelle would vote with us to get rid of Loxias. I don't know though, I think she's planning to get rid of me and I can't get rid of her because I need her to vote for Loxias. It's good that alex is gone because I've been consistently just barely missing out on winning challenges with alex winning, so hopefully I can win my way to the end now that he's gone.

"semeru"

- seems as if alex is bitter with me and isnt what i thought he was when he was voted out. I still take back the bashing of him except for him being cocky and arrogant except when i was doing that i was taking it back because i thought he wasnt being bitter, it appears i was wrong. Oh well!

"semeru"

- I have this really bad gut feeling. I don't know what it is. I haven't been talking to many people, everyone seems quiet and reserved, Michelle has been giving me short answers, Mikey has been giving me short answers, Sheryl hasn't responded to me, there's signs that people aren't doing what they should be doing and I feel like there's this plot to vote me out. I don't know, I just don't trust that everything is going to happen the way I want it to for this upcoming vote. I'd think Loxias would go 4-2, worst cast we go to rocks with me mikey and sheryl vs michelle loxias and danielle, but I just have a feeling they've flipped on me. I hope I'm wrong, but I need to win immunity so I feel 100% safe. I'm going to be doing whatever it takes, I'll stay up all night if I have to. I don't care.

"semeru"

- This bitch Michelle. So god reaches down on me to wake me up to finish this endurance challenge, I had no alarm set nothing. I look on my phone and see I'm just bareky winning so I get online. And as SOON as bitch michelle sees me post, she messages me saying "you got this im going to bed". Bitch, please. You know the moment I got on you had no chance of winning this challenge which is now why you're playing it off like you are going to head right off to bed. Michelle also told me Loxias was cheering her on hoping she would beat me. That's great Loxias your ass is going to be on the jury pretty soon so you can cheer on whoever you very well please. And I know michelle only said that to me so I would want loxias out and not be thinking of her. Michelle in her own way is a good player, she's playing the game and she's doing it in a subtle way where people might not see it, but I can see it. She's lucky that I at least talk to her because I don't talk to Loxias and Danielle about anything. Why would I build relationships with them, Loxias on one hand has lied about everything and Danielle is a big threat. Why form relationships with people you're planning on voting out, it'd just come across as fake for jury votes and I'm not fake so I'm not going to do that. Anyways, Michelle is lucky I talk to her and have a little bit of trust in her because of the way she voted last tribal, because if I didn't i'd vote her ass out right away. But I'd rather for my game get out Loxias who has openly said he wanted me out and Danielle who is easily the biggest threat in the game.

Day 33
"semeru"

- I won immunity. Thank god. Right when I woke up and saw that I was leading by not that much, I forgot about the 4 hours of sleep I got and I knew god was telling me to get my ass on a computer to win this challenge. I know michelle was trying hard to beat me, I know loxias was rooting for her, so I'm sure I could've gone if I lost this challenge. That being said, I am here, and I have no choice right now except to trust Michelle. She's the only one of her, danielle and loxias who I trust, even if it's not a lot and she has expressed wanting to vote off loxias and we have discussed it and that is the plan for this tribal. I'd vote her off or danielle but I need a fourth vote to vote for either danielle or loxias, and I know michelle is the best bet to get that vote. Hopefully she'll vote for Loxias, and myself mikey and sheryl will have majority after this vote. I have like three final 2 deals, one with mikey, one with sheryl and michelle I think we've agreed on final 2 but i dont want to go with her and she doesnt want to go with me. I'm just hoping I can get to the final 3 with sheryl and mikey, I feel like mikey would be loyal and take me but I also think I'll have a good chance to win the final immunity and take myself. Let's just hope I can get there first, which shouldn't be hard if I keep winning immunity. But for now, everything is good in Survivor Java.

"semeru"

- It's quiet. it's times like these that get me paranoid. all i know is everyone will be gunning for loxias. if not him, then i'll making my vote very artsy for the last time just in case. bye.

"semeru"

- Chris won immunity again this week, and I would have gone and tried to talk to him again, but what’s the point when it goes in one ear and out the other? I really do think I’m going home tonight, but I’m going to try my best to get people to vote out someone else. If I was to stay this week, I want the F3 to be Me, Michelle, and Sheryl. I think if I go to the end with anyone else, I’ll lose, However, I think people realize if I make it to the end, I might win because I was able to survive every single tribal council I went to (which would be 14/15 tribal councils by the end, right?) God. I just wanna stay in this game. Fuck.

"semeru"

- So, Loxias has been throwing my name around to everyone and Mikey isnt messaging me back. It looks like this is the end for Danielle as we know it. I know you hosts probably get tired of this but I just want to thank you for putting on such an amazing game, and i'm glad I was able to be a part of it!