I'm Deadass Bald rn/Confessionals

Day 17
"zambezi"

- IF YOU FUCK WITH ME, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME

"hwadze"

- Ben gorelick i will avenge you. u deserve merge.

"zambezi"

- im eliza getting blindsided for the 2nd time fcrgtgrdfwde i dont wanna be mean but really after i lied about voting for dovile the first time she really should have known ndeijf

"zambezi"

- can't wait till jack does a confessional parallel to this one about me spilling all the pre swap tea to him when it's mostly lies i made up ehhehehe

"hwadze"

- I have no idea what strategy Matthias is using, but it's working. Somehow he is making me think that he is in no alliances yet I can tell he's playing the game. I thought Drew was the biggest threat, but I could be wrong. Matthias could be playing us all.

"hwadze"

- Okay real fuckin talk??? This challenge feels like when you’re a senior in high school and you’re in a tight group of four that you met through choir or band or some non-grade-level-specific shit, but you’re the only senior. So then time passes and you go off to college, and come home for a weekend, and your friends are hanging out with some random ass sophomore who’s IN YOUR FUCKING SEAT!!! And you logically know she’s probably a sweet girl, and you know she did nothing wrong except have excellent taste in friends, and you still talk to your friends every day so it’s not like they ACTUALLY replaced you??? But part of you wants to bust in the door and grab her by the hair and throw her to the ground like BITCH THIS IS MY SEAT and sit down and start eating her sushi like nothing ever happened and you never left. It’s moments like these that I’m glad I have Becky as my hunting target, so if this challenge goes south, I can cut her down before my friends like her more than me! 🙂

"hwadze"

- So Drew has an idol, he just told me (but I already knew!). He is giving it away to Jack on the other tribe which means that he won't have an idol. You know what that means... I can make big moves without having to worry about an idol! And Jack is saved too that's pretty nifty

"hwadze"

- I have a bad habit of getting lazy with my social game, which ends up being such a pain to deal with really deep in the game but it's so hard to message people who don't interest me... especially when there is no reason to. i will try my best.. but im just.. so much work

"hwadze"

- This is take 2 cuz my other just deleted so I’m deadass bald rn so forgive if this confessional is utter shit.

Ben went home which is lowkey disgraceful, because that was one of my closest allies and the best part about Ben and I’s friendship was that he was the closest to me, which would’ve been really beneficial down the road.  Jake voted Ben out which from my PoV (Obviously I don’t know all the pieces) really does prove my assumptions about Jake being a pretty big snake who is willing to vote whoever off, and I guess good for him? But it’s just not really something I want to fuck with but I’m going to have to pretend to fuck with it truthfully until I tell him something and he goes and does it while I put that knife in his back. ❤ Whatever works, but who knows maybe I’m reading the situation wrong and maybe he’ll get me, we’ll have to see.

I don’t think these results are all horrible though, as it does mean Dovile is still alive and the 4 way alliance we had is still intact, so as long as I can reel back in Dovile, I think that can set me up really well if we were to merge.

On Hwadze, I truthfully have not been putting a lot of time into getting to know a few people, but I think with most I’ve had a decent conversation at least once, Drew I talked to a little today about music and singing. Hals is probably the new person I’ve consistently talked to, and she’s really a lot of fun! She and I troll eachother and I think outside of the game we’re gonna remain friends, unless of course we get bitter over this game LMFAO. I am wary that she could end up being a capable player but I think that she may have that same feeling so for now I’m just trying to clown around and make her feel comfortable so that she doesn’t have that fear in the back of her head.

Overall I feel like I’m in an okay spot on this tribe, I still hold the ideal that I would rather the challenges rn but I also fear that if Elizabeth or Jake get advantages that won’t be good for my game if I ever get on their radar, and since Jake seems to be easily swayed that does concern me. I feel like I need to spend this remaining time in safety to plan how I’m going to approach this merge because I get too comfortable and don’t play hard enough, I’m just going to be seen as an easy vote, but if I play too hard and ignore some of the players who could fly UDR like Matthias, Drew and maybe Vincent, then they band together and take me out, and I am honestly really terrified of entering Merge with no idol and no advantages, cuz I feel like people are going to expect me to have one or the other…. We’ll just have to see how things pan out.

"zambezi"

- so last vote went close to perfect. elizabeth isn't frustrated with me or can't afford to be. jack and i appear to be close and i made it clear i would have tried to save him, which i think bought some trust. dovile/louise and i have cemented our trio. just trying to play a loyal asf premerge and then wild out at merge. i'm scared though because if we lose twice, we're going in 7-3 where idk five people from og hwadze, which basically makes me the easy merge vote. i have a little souvenir to help me with that, but i want to save that up for as long as possible. i hate sounding so absolute and like confident bc that's not a cute vibe but things appear to be going pretty well for me? i'm not used to being in a great position tbh.

anyways - we're going to lose our fourth challenge in a row because matsing who. it'll probs either be elizabeth or jack. both kinda want me to flip on dovile/louise, but i can't be seen as a snake so even if i'm closer with the two of them, i have to think of how people look at me going into this merge. they've also both expressed that they would vote out the other. i'd prefer elizabeth to go, just because dovile went a little meta and realized we know each other so i'd rather build new loyalties tbh than get isolated for old ones. plus jack is a good route to og hwadze and i need that bc i might be ok-ish here but i am going to be screwed in the merge. swapped tribes are a time to build connections not isolate them 😞

Day 18
"hwadze"

- WHEW I LOVE BEING ON THE EDGE OF EXPOSURE!!! Depending on how Roisin knows the idol has been found, I may have to come clean...We'll see though. If it's just some bland "Oh wow I already checked all the options and came up empty so it's been found fam!!" then I can at least wait to see if Jack plays it tomorrow, then we can pass it off as he found it or something. And honestly, I don't think it can be anything more than that, because I got the lodge trip for Mack and Hals went for Glo, so unless Becky and Daniel have a power and some loose lips, I don't think there's gonna be any "I HAVE A MORE POWERFUL RADAR THAN DREW'S AND THE THING IS HERE" nonsense. Fingers crossed a bitch can keep his cool.....

"hwadze"

- Roisin knows that someone has an idol. Jack has it now and he's probably using it, so I can't say I'm too nervous about what she thinks right now

"hwadze"

- So I told Hals about Drew's idol, and then I realized that Hals knew too much. So what do I do? Tell Drew what Hals told me. So now two people know too much and two wrongs don't make a right. Genius at work here!

"hwadze"

- Me: just sending that confessional I'd better make sure to not do that again. Also me: Wait I haven't told Drew everything I know yet!

Haha I am such a flop

"hwadze"

- Vincent is officially too powerful. He's spilling all the tea to me, about Matthias generally knowing where the other tribe's idol was, about Becky having Daniel as her hunter's mark, about Hals having him as a target, and also getting to go to the lodge after Glo (which yes I already knew because I set it up, but like still). This is all great info to have, but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking he's only telling me everyone else's secrets because we're each other's #1 or whatever. He's a trader. He's a dealer. He buys and sells information, and you don't know the price until you've paid it. And if he's telling me everyone's information, you can be damn sure he's telling other people mine. And he does it so damn well too. I'm gonna have to keep him close because someone like that can be a huge asset at merge when a chaos boot name needs to come from somewhere. But know that he doesn't get to know any more of my secrets, I see how carefully he guards what he's told. We'll see what whispers he'll give me from everyone else for free, but I'm not paying for it ever again.

"zambezi"

- I hope we are NOT merging next episode, because I noticed almost every season gas the merge at f11, f12 or f13

"zambezi"

- so the vote is on elizabeth and i’m okay with that outcome. it’s weird to be at a point in the game where no matter who i go, i’m losing an ally, so this vote was really about the most useful ally. voting against dovile and louise would probably see both go before merge if we lost both challenges, but also isolate me from becky and dan, who i need to work with in some capacity going forward. by the same measure, jacks connection to og hwadze is useful and i’d really like to believe i’m his closest ally so that’s a route i need to leave open. it left elizabeth as the only option because while i have her trust and confidentiality, i think i have all three of theirs tbh. louise told me about their alliance. dovile sent me essays on why we’re close and jack said he’d go to rocks for me next round so i’d really like to think i’m solid with the people here so this is the best direction going into next challenge or merge!