This Tribe May Be Good For Me/Confessionals

Day 13
"barbarossa"

- So the other tribe voted out Willow. That REALLLLLLLY fucking sucks for me. I knew there was a very high possibility that it was going to happen, I just didn't want to think about it. But now that she's gone, I really want to find out why. As much as I want to just yell and try and get revenge, that is not going to get me far in this game. But believe you me, if the stars align and my target is one of those who started the charge against Willow, I'll savour every moment. Willow, you were such a great ally to have, and I'm sorry you got done dirty like that.

"cheng"

- DRXTFCYGVUHBIJNFXDUFCGVHJBKHVGCFXCHVJBKVGCF Things go fantastic on Cheng, I'm right in the middle with Elmo and Willow our target is gone and like YAY HOORAY, AND NOW ITS A SWAP. IF I GET SWAPFUCKED IM GOING TO SCREAMMMMMM literally like this is scary af and if after all the hard work we put in me or Elmo or Yousef or Natalia gets screwed (which at least one of us prolly will be) I am just gonna diiieeee! Sorry if I'm freaking out but like, ughhh my game has just been going good so far so I hope this swap doesnt wreck it!!

"cheng"

- I can't believe we're swapping again. I am praying that I made the right choice with my barrel and that I actually end up with some people from Barbarossa that I can work with, because otherwise we can just get picked off once again. I'm so nervous ugh.

"cheng"

- This tribe is not as bad as I was expecting so I'm so thankful. I have Karsten and Jake from the old Cheng, Anita I played with in a Discord game, Yousef I'm good friends with, and Lex I worked with before in Twisted, so all in all, this tribe may be good for me!

"cheng"

- DEAD okay I apparently know Su from the Survivor Fanon wiki as well so I know everybody on this tribe, fucking bye.

"barbarossa"

- We just got swapped onto new tribes... AGAIN. This is the 2nd time in 4 rounds, when will the survivor gods leave us alone!? I just want some stability dammit! Kidding, Kidding. In all seriousness, I think lady luck has graced me again, because I am with 4 people from my old tribe, although not all of them got along with each other, however they did get along GREAT with me, so if one side starts to seem like where the power is at, I am ready to go over there and be a part of that cool kids group. Me and Hunter got swapped together... again... Which kinda sucks actually because we had a lowkey really tight pair alliance before this, but now everyone is going to assume we have one, even if we are playing it off like we don't. All because of these silly swaps. But hey, Bradley seems like he is going to be one of my lifelines right now because I think we have each others backs in this game. At least that's the feeling I'm getting from him. But then again, I also feel the same way with Nick. I have to make sure that I'm the one making the choice between the two, and that they don't team up to take me out. Wish me luck!

"barbarossa"

- We just got swapped onto new tribes... AGAIN. This is the 2nd time in 4 rounds, when will the survivor gods leave us alone!? I just want some stability dammit! Kidding, Kidding. In all seriousness, I think lady luck has graced me again, because I am with 4 people from my old tribe, although not all of them got along with each other, however they did get along GREAT with me, so if one side starts to seem like where the power is at, I am ready to go over there and be a part of that cool kids group. Me and Hunter got swapped together... again... Which kinda sucks actually because we had a lowkey really tight pair alliance before this, but now everyone is going to assume we have one, even if we are playing it off like we don't. All because of these silly swaps. But hey, Bradley seems like he is going to be one of my lifelines right now because I think we have each others backs in this game. At least that's the feeling I'm getting from him. But then again, I also feel the same way with Nick. I have to make sure that I'm the one making the choice between the two, and that they don't team up to take me out. Wish me luck!

Day 14
"cheng"

- Really? Another swap? These hosts must be getting bored after 50 seasons. Luckily this one turned out a bit better than last time, I've still got Su with me, who's basically my number one ally at this point, and then I've got Yousef, who I'm still pretty pissed at, but I think he wants to work with me, which I'll take any day. Karsten is pretty good at challenges and I know him vaguely from seeing him around in other places, Liam, who's just nice, Jake, who Su and I can hopefully rope back in with us to get some numbers, and then... oh god. Lex is still here. People were talking about which game he was doing for the challenge here, and I legitimately forgot who he was for a second. How could I? He's the reason Willow's gone. Part of me wants to get some sweet revenge on him, but I don't know if Yousef would want to do that with me. And maybe that's why I need to do it. I need to cut off the connections that he's relying too much on, especially when that connection is someone I don't trust in the slightest. This is the first time so far in this game where I feel like I have power, so I'm going to be watching my back even more than usual, since that's exactly when people get blindsided.

"barbarossa"

- "I feel like I should be worried

First off, Elmo, Andrea and Natalia are all sweet people. They're all great, there's still no easy vote, each tribal is still tragic.

But both Elmo and Natalia have brought up me doing well in challenges and I DO NOT like that. I know there are others here that are good at challenges, but I don't wanna be labelled a challenge beast. I don't need people coming for me just cause I'm fighting hard to keep people I like."

"barbarossa"

- "I feel like I should be worried

First off, Elmo, Andrea and Natalia are all sweet people. They're all great, there's still no easy vote, each tribal is still tragic.

But both Elmo and Natalia have brought up me doing well in challenges and I DO NOT like that. I know there are others here that are good at challenges, but I don't wanna be labelled a challenge beast. I don't need people coming for me just cause I'm fighting hard to keep people I like."

Day 15
"cheng"

- "So we tribe swapped again, and I'm on Cheng 3.0 with three OG Cheng (Jake, Su, Anita) two OG Calico (Yousef and Lex) and my OG tribe mate Liam. I know there's a good chance I could be on the chopping block so I'm trying to make as many friends as possible, ASAP. Learned that Lex speaks French, so I'm playing the same angle as I was in Tibet-- trying to connect through language. Last time, it fucked me in my ass. Hoping for better results.

Bradley told me that Anita was cool, but so far I've spoken most to Su. Yousef and I are alright but we haven't talked game much. I'm hoping we win this challenge so I have more time to make friends..."

"barbarossa"

- "What is with this cast? Are we all genuinely kind and shit, are we all just fake ass people who are going to get really ugly come merge, or is it mix? I sure as hell can't tell.

I'm ready to get cutthroat come merge, that's for sure. Nobody is getting in my way, and if I have to be the dick in a cast full of kindness, if it gets me the win than fine by me. But it feels so weird.

Like, we all keep saying how we don't wanna vote each other out and how this all sucks, but we gotta start playing here at some point. Feelings are clearly gonna be hurt one way or another here, but we're all so hesitant to do it.

At this point, if the merge doesn't shake up as soon as it starts, I'm just gonna start chucking the fire crackers. Usually I try to be the good social, nice guy player, but if that's what everyone is doing, then I guess this game needs a chaos maker."

"cheng"

- Sooooo I'm just a little scared that I'm *too* well set up on this new tribe. I have Lex and Yousef who r loyal to me and will stick with me, and then Chengs have reunited so I'm working with Jake and Anita, and even Karsten is expressing interest in working with me. I've convinced Jake and Anita to work with Lex and Yousef despite them not liking Lex due to the threat of Barbarossa's advantages. This is the best for me cuz I dont have a connection to them and I remain in the middle. However, I'm just praying things dont fall apart cuz theres still like 22 hours til tribal and I'll be busy a lot of that so I'm just praying Karsten and Liam dont find a crack and I can keep my target on Liam and he can go. He's cool, but I feel the least connection to him, and he cancelled his survivor fanon a while back that i fanboyed hard over, soo time for revenge? lol jk, I'm just hoping people dont realize I'm pulling the strings too much and target me cuz thats what always ends up happening to me ahh

"cheng"

- so.... i'm enjoying my time on prob one of the fave tribes i've ever been on in my org journey and then i hear that we're going to swap.

https://media.giphy.com/media/ihhtoI0RHTB4s/giphy.gif

i talk to everyone and try to establish a basis of what we need to say to each other in case we're separated so i tell andrea and natalia that elmo told me he thinks he's good with bradley. information is good for the soul! and then everyone stopped talking to me so i fell asleep thinking the swap results would be tomorrow but i wake up at 12 am and i'm on a new fucking tribe LKJBALDKMFDASKLM

i am sad that i didn't get to say bye to andrea or natalia fully, but andrea did message me saying su told her that natalia and i were close before the swap happened. this just shows that... andrea and i's plan is working?? we wanted to use natalia as our shield/hide our relationship, and like, it's working but we did this when i didn't trust her (natalia) as much LOL i trust her now a lot after working with her in the swap and i legit love her

so ya... we swap. and for like 24 hours, i try bonding with everyone. it's SO hard. people leave you on read and delivered and it's just constantly a feeling that people aren't going to like you/type cast myself as an annoying gay honestly LMAOOO ik that sounds so bad but like... bkljfdkmaslkm being the only gay on the tribe (su is bi but. and liam acts gay but is het) and being a minor i didn't want people to think i was some young annoying gay boy who's dumb..... i feel like people think that about some of the gay players in this community and that they play with their dicks and not their heads and i'm just not that. so i tried bonding with karsten based on our interests of politics/government, and jake based on like.... general talk/conversation about politics and societal standards lmao

i just want to seem like a loyal reliable person that'll work with anyone because of the target on my back. i want people to know that i'm scared because that means i'm a number for them. i'll vote w/ anyone as long as it keeps me safe b/c i'm so worried about myself going home so it just makes sense for them to try their best to ally me, but like, i already have strong bonds on the other tribe with players like andrea and natalia, so i don't know if that's necessarily the case for them this time, but apparently cheng 2.0 has some cracks. i'll get to that soon.

so anyways w/ the challenge, su took z-type and i'm just like damn ok. that's the challenge i'm legit the best at + a guaranteed point but i'm like, whatever, if he can win the part and he's bad at the rest, he can get a point for that and i can try getting a point somewhere else. i think about doing messenger basketball and then jake says he got 33 and takes it (i got so paranoid when this happened lol i thought he lied ab getting 33 so he could get the part) and i get winterbells. so i'm like, shit, ethan is going to have this part and he's totally going to blow me out of the water with this challenge b/c he got 10,000,000 in rome or something like that. and then... my opponent is BRADLEY.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/92a807e95fd4f5d9cd4558703cb2c7ee/tumblr_onrr0zXP5k1rrt01ro2_400.gif

it's just rlly funny b/c i was preparing for ethan to come out swinging w/ a fucking 10 million or something all day and then i get bradley LKJBASDLKMFA and at first i thought he was just some guy who was good at winterbells/wanted to fuck me up. i knew NOTHING about him beforehand except some of what elmo told me and i didn' think he was like SWEET AND NICE??? BUT THEN WE GET TO BIDDING.

so, i'm like, okay, let's go with the typo strategy. i'm not good at winterbells because i can't get above 2-4 mil and everyone else in this fucking community can get the trillions or quadrillions so i want to try to pull off the ""oops typo :("" strategy so bradley can challenge me on that. so, i do, and bradley falls for it.... but i legit feel like shit. BLKJASDKFMLALKSM he's like ""do you wanna redo? i typo sometimes."" NNNN and i'm like.. if i say no it's goin to look sus. so i say yes, and then rhi is like ""srry u can't"" god bless, and then he goes ""damn :/ i would've challenged u at 100k"" AND I FEEL LIKE SHITTTTT BKJASKLFMDDSLKM IT'S SO BAD.... I ONLY WENT IN HARD W/ THIS TYPO STRATEGY AT THE BEGINNING B/C I THOUGHT I WOULD BE AGAINST ETHAN AND I WAS AGAINST bradley.

and i'm so sure that the other tribe now knows that i was lying/bradley told the tribe and andrea told them about how i typo'd in this chall in BAR, and they just put the puzzle pieces together b/c ethan typo'd when betting w/ lex NNNNN so they might've just been like ""FUCK YOUSEF! let's use the strat he used to spite the tribe"" or s/t that. and now i'm just like... ctfu this rlly wasn't worth it huh. i could've just had to have gotten 100k and been FINE but no i overthought the situation and did the typo strategy.

so ya it's fine i'm the devil it's alright lol. WHATEVER! that tribe prob hates me LKBADSLKMFKAMS anyways. i'm talking to su and i'm like... we're prob losing lol it's 4-3 b/c i think only su jake and i are goin to win our parts and... that's what happens. i didn't expect tribal to be TONIGHT. we've only had 24 hours to talk to each other and in those 24 hours i did not talk about strategy at all b/c i didn't want to seem overbearing and paranoid.

so i'm like... it's prob going to be me or lex goin home. http://media.tumblr.com/a7682f4c1d1129f612e6bf6c1fa3c86a/tumblr_inline_n9hf5dl2s81qa8jkl.gif

but like..... in about the span of an hour and a half, it's presented to us that we're the swing votes. i thought about this for a second today b/c i was told that anita might wanna do lex, and if it was brought to that situation, i would debate going to liam and karsten to vote off jake or anita, but instead, jake/su/anita and liam/karsten both come to me wanting to vote someone out and i'm like ?? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? is this a fabricated scenario

so let's start off w/ liam and karsten. liam immediately comes to me being like ""do you wanna work w/ karsten and i b/c that'll be 3 numbers and then we only need one more"" and i'm like... i won't say no sis. BLKJASDFLKMDSA and he basically says directly to me to get lex in the plan. and i'm like, okay, so if they want lex, i can go do this. but i still have paranoia about karsten/jake which i'll get to later anyway.

so, jake talks to me and he's like ""idw vote you off you're entertainment."" i'm like thanks buddo u 2! LFSDLKJFDS kinda weird. as this happens su is talking to me about how anita being in power scares him and that she's not trusting jake, so i'm like, well wig, if anita is flipping then i don't have to rlly do much huh. but no su convinces her back to doing a liam vote b/c they think karsten is on the bottom of og barbarossa (and idk if it's that necessarily true. i think liam would bond less with the tribe and probably wanted to keep annabel) then it turns out jake is on board for that, as is su, but before all that happened, anita told karsten that jake is an enigma, which leads liam and karsten to believe that they could have her as a number. not only that, but they think that they could have su as a number... idk this is just so weird like... IDOLS EXIST???? SO DO OTHER ADVANTAGES. why are they so willing to tell these people this information. like i'm worried. this is too good of a situation for myself????? i'm always nervous and paranoid i hate it. i just need to communicate to su that i'm literally a number for HIM despite the target on my back, and communicate that to anita as well. as long as anita, su, and lex don't vote for me, i'm ok BUT there's advantages. i need to consider what would happen if a mask of restriction/double vote is played, b/c in that scenario, i could be fucked if the tides are turning on me and this was all an elaborate scheme.

so now it seems like i'm stuck in a swing vote scenario. i can't lose su's trust, and i need to talk to him tomorrow about what's been happening in my perspective. i couldn't tell him tonight b/c he has too much going on and i don't think it would be a good equation. he's one of the only people i felt like had my back, so if i lost his trust, it would be bad for my game. i need to tell him what's happened and if an advantage is played on jake then at least i know it's flushed and my pores can be cleared. i think that liam would go in that scenario, but like idkkkkkk ugh. it's so hard b/c i feel like the target on my back elevates my paranoia so much and leads me to think of these situations that could happen b/c the opportunity has just presented itself to cut me off before a merge.

it's so annoying, but like, like i said in the previous episodes. i'm not here to play passively. i'm here to play as a 4 time player with a target on their back, trying to win. that sounds SOO corny but like it's truth. if i go this episode, so be it, but i know i tried my best and i've done everything i could to make the game play out in my favor. let's hope this tribal isn't the death of me

https://66.media.tumblr.com/6238c42acc6d070294dfdc79bada6564/tumblr_inline_o56ei9P1tS1sotrar_500.gif

"cheng"

- So my plan for this upcoming tribal council is to align with Yousef, Lex and Karsten in the event of the OG Cheng-ers hookin up, which I think is really likely after I had to vote off Katie in the last set of swapped tribes. I don't think he likes me that much at all so I'm not phased to try and get rid of Jake at all. Hopefully I can convince some of these people to get rid of him, fingers crossed.

"cheng"

- It's looking like Jake is the one to go tonight however Anita allegedly brought up the mistrust to Karsten which I think is strange, as I was pretty certain she would be working with Jake in the game, but maybe their connection isn't as strong as I previously anticipated. If her and Su are on the same page and want to get rid of Jake, then that's job done for me, but at the same time it could also be a ploy if Jake is the one to hold the OG Cheng idol which is already gone. I don't think I'll be playing my double vote tonight, but I hope an idol play isn't the cause of my demise in this game - I'd be heartbroken.

"cheng"

- TIL that as well as the Cheng idol being gone - the Barbarossa one is too. I don't know why Karsten didn't tell me this earlier but it definitely makes me question how close to Hunter and Ethan I am, as either of them definitely has it, and they know about my fucking double vote. If I merge and they're both still here I'm definitely gonna be on the fucking warpath because I'm livid - Having people in this game with a potentially one up on me is not the type of people I want around, so if it turns out that one of them does has it and hasn't said anything, I will do anything in my power to send their asses home you best believe. Fully cannot be chewed with this tomfuckery.

"cheng"

- Despite my angry ramblings earlier, I have managed to secure a 4 person alliance with Lex, Yousef and Karsten for this vote, so even if Anita is trying to plant something it should amount to nothing if Jake is idol-less. I have relationships with all three before tonight so I do have trust in them, me and Lex were solid in Twisted and Yousef is a friend of mine so this should work, it wouldn't make sense for them to flip on me anyways at this point so here's to hoping!!

"cheng"

- "We've had another swap, and I've landed on a tribe with 0 of my allies for the second time in a row LOL. There are two things to say about that. Either my luck is really good that I keep getting opportunities to make alliances with new people...or my luck is really bad because my ass is about to be voted out because I'm not tightly connected to a single person on this tribe coming in, hahah. Fuck.

I'm trying out a completely different social style on this tribe, though. I'm being very sarcastic and kind of making fun of people. I don't expect this to net me the love of the whole tribe, however I feel like there are people here who can appreciate that sort of humour. I'm not really sure, though, honestly. I'm giving it a solid shot, but it's been tough because the swap officially happened while I was asleep, and then my best challenge section was taken by Liam, who completely sucked. He's not alone in this, though. They also sucked at 2048, and that's coming from the guy who got slapped in a 2048 firemaking challenge when I played 703. It's just like...I feel like I haven't had a chance to really prove my worth on this tribe, so I'm not feeling super great. I think I'm making connections, but I'm not sold on that they would be the type of players to save my ass if the ones I'm not connected with start throwing my name out, y'know? Yousef seems like a very active presence, but when I tried to talk strategy with him it was like I was speaking with a piece of lightly buttered toast. Su and Sofanita have made an alliance chat after I suggested it, and they SAY that Yousef had previously said he'd flip with them on their old tribe, but I'm not buying this. It's like on my last tribe - there was a definite chance Hunter and Ethan would say they were voting Nick again, and then suddenly Bradley is gone.

I'm a bit of a sitting duck. As far as most here know, I could have the superpowers. They weren't there to witness my masterful deception. It makes me the most threatening of the three OG Cheng players on this tribe, and so if the other two starting tribes end up deciding to team together against us, I think it will either be Anita for being the least active, or me for being the most threatening. Su has accidentally found himself as the middle ground between us, so kudos to him tbh.

I only have one option for now, and it's to continue to be as social as I can with players that I think will be key to my game on this tribe. I've successfully gotten Su and Sofanita to target Liam over Karsten, which was really good. Karsten comes off as a huge gamebot, and I know Hunter is sketched out by him. I want to keep him around, if I can, so that he's a vote before me at merge. I'm not personally going to do any pushing for Liam with the others, though, at least until I feel confident in my spot here. It's already been pretty quiet this morning, and I don't like it. I think I would have wormed my way to a MUCH better spot by next round or even if we had the full 24 hours as expected, but we don't so I need to scramble to get everything done that I wanted to ASAP.

I've made an alliance with Yousef, but I was also drinking at the time so I'm pretty sure that could have come off sketchy LOL. I think I was just like ""Hey by the way wanna be in an alliance with me because we're best friends hahahshsdh"" which is...oof. I need to touch base again now that I'm sober, but who knows how that went over, really."

"cheng"

- Another tribal council, damn. I got lucky on original Cheng; this really sucks. I barely even got to know these people and now we have each others' fates in our hands. Right now I think the vote is between Lex and Liam, with more traction for the Liam vote, since a lot of people are sketched out by him. I'm still mad that Lex is going to survive ANOTHER round, but Su really wants to keep Yousef's trust, and to be honest, he has a point. We need Yousef. Our relationship with him is delicate and one wrong move could screw us over at the merge. Plus with the scare of advantages and possibly the Barbarossas and Calicos teaming up, we need to take one of the Barbarossas out sooner rather than later. It's been eerily quiet; I haven't heard anything from Liam and Jake is as enigmatic as ever. Although I have been having good conversations with Karsten, and he agrees that Jake is confusing at best, I don't know if he'd be willing to vote out Liam for us. Su and I will just have to feel our way around, and hope the odd silence doesn't mean our death.

"cheng"

- Aaaaaand this vote is getting tougher than necessary. Karsten and Liam have offered to vote out Jake and Yousef and Lex really want to do it because they dont trust him. I dont like this at all cuz that would mean I either have to betray my OG Chengs or I have to purposefully be in the minority which feels scary to do. I get why they are gunning for Jake but I feel like this vote is getting messier than it needs to be and if we kept it straight and simple it would be a lot easier, I think Yousef is thinking too far ahead and is also showing he doesnt trust me as closely as I thought which is worrying to me. I just dont wanna be too pushy and it seems like I'm just gonna get forced into the minority if I dont wanna blow up my spot. I'm just rlly not pleased

"cheng"

- Not gonna lie, I'm very nervous. I haven't had the time to talk to many people about the vote today so I think I may be a target, but I'm not sure? It's just a gut feeling. Too bad I missed getting the idol on Barbarossa, that'd help out a lot. I'm hearing that Jake is a target, mainly Liam and Karsten wanting to vote him, and now Yousef wants to vote Karsten. FUCK THIS GUY. I love Karsten, and he's being so pushy for no reason. Like Yousef is a cool guy but oh my god fuck off so much. You made me vote out Willow and now you want me to vote Karsten, seriously I've got half a mind to just vote him out soon. I love him personally but he's annoying as fuck in the game. I'm not going to lay down for him anymore. I'm not letting him dictate what I do, either he helps me out for once or we're not allies.

"barbarossa"

- "So we ended up winning the challenge, which is great for me because I don't have to pick a side between what I think will be the Bradley/Elmo duo versus the Nick/Andrea/Natalia trio. At least thats how I think things are standing as of this moment. I really don't like sides though, because then it's hard for me to play the middle without having to choose a side. So I plan on trying to make the whole tribe come together to unanimously vote someone out should we end up losing in the future. I think that me and Hunter are in a good position because I know Bradley trusts me, and I know Nick trusts me for saving him back on Cheng 2.0 and I'm still trying to develop bonds with everyone I can, including the new people which I don't think I have talked about yet!

Elmo: I can see why people like this guy, he is VERY persuasive and a natural conversationalist. I know all this, and I STILL like him. I think it just has something to do with the cast being super cool and knowing this is a game. No drama starters here from what I can tell. He's a huge threat going into the merge and probably one of the contenders to win a lot of immunities, so I need him to stay around so that he can take the bullet for me down the road if needed.

Natalia: Never in all my years have I met someone as sweet as her. When I first met her, I thought she was putting on a really fake ""nice act"", but the more I got to know her... I realized that she is actually just that good of a person. So I feel bad about my initial judgement of her. However she is very smart, and I feel like a lot of people are underestimating her.

Andrea: Andrea is really great! Its crazy to see her play after I hosted her all the way back in Molise. I'm glad she came back because she honestly deserved it. While I haven't talked with her that much, I feel like we have this bond, but then again, talking with Bradley and Her, I found out that Bradley ALSO hosted Andrea in a different Org. Hey, if that means those two are working together, Great, because that means I can keep both of the people I want in this game on my side.

As of now, I'm just trying to talk with my tribe members constantly, and trying to relate and ask personal questions to establish a bond. And not some fake game bond, a REAL bond, because players CAN tell the difference. I'm really taking my own advice that I should have done in Ret, and talk with EVERYONE. You want your name to be the last one out of people's mouths when it comes to being a target. I want to be that person that people come to with plans, I wanna be that person that people like to keep around because ""I'll be a shield"" for them. I wanna be that guy who speaks about loyalty, because that is how you win this game. It doesn't matter what you actually are, it matters how you are perceived by the people that are around you, and right now, I hope that's in a way that will get me to the merge. "