Board Thread:Season 54 - Caño Cristales/@comment-33819352-20190819062622/@comment-6293216-20190819183322

Hi Andre, I want to start this off by saying I understand. I 100 million percent understand why you’re feeling this way and you have NO reason to apologize for it. I understand how everything looked and how bad it came off and I genuinely am sorry. Playing these games I do my best to try not to hurt others and I understand that I hurt you—that wasn't my intention, but it’s what happened, and that is all on me. Regarding the Final Seven and how we stopped talking, I’m sorry it came off the way it did. I was so wracked with guilt that I didn’t want to message you. I knew what was going on in your life and I didn’t wanna add to that stress—I have no issue saying that I mishandled it, and I hope you can forgive me for that. You have no reason to apologize at all to me for feeling ‘bitter’ because your feelings are completely justifiable in my opinion. Ik I fucked up—the initial “oh, that’s disgusting” was an emotional response that was triggered in me after being blindsided by Matt/Elizabeth than it was to your actual staying, so I’m really fucking sorry that it came off the way it does. I genuinely think of you as the closest person to me on a personal level throughout the entirety of this season, and on a game level for a while, and I’m sorry that I let the game influence that—I told Brian this, or maybe it was mentioned in my speech (unless I cut it) but one of—if not THE— biggest regrets was letting the game get in the way with people I adored on a personal level—Brian, Su, and you. I get so scared of hurting and betraying people that I didn’t want to lose these relationships, and so I distance myself in an effort to try and make myself feel at peace with the moves being made. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt and even if you hate me I’ll still ly and consider you my in game bestie even if you think I didn’t mean it genuinely :( I genuinely love you and loved playing with you and I wanna continue to talk and be friends after the game—I understand if you’re hesitant to believe me after everything, so I’ll prove it after the game.

Moving onto your task for me,, I honestly...don’t know what to say. Survivor isn’t an objective game. I would LOVE to say “I played the strongest game, vote me!” But that’s not how survivor works! there is nothing wrong with being an emotional juror—-at all. I just want you to make the decision and vote you want to make. I would LOVE to get your vote here of course, but hearing your speech and recognizing the faults i made both as a friend and a player, I’d understand if you didn’t. I understand there are layers to this game and I just want you to be happy and satisfied with the vote you cast. No matter your decision, I’ll respect it.

P.S. I hope your tennis practice goes well~ I wanna hear all about it after the season