Unstrap My Big Boy Pants/Confessionals

Day 37
"akaleno"

- The way TJ was trying to get me to vote for Zane, almost in a casual, do me a favor type of way, made me think exactly what ended up happening - that he already had one person voting with him and needed me to make a tie. Now I need to find out who that one person was - and I suspect it was George - because anyone going against what they said they'd do at this stage is something I can't have.

"akaleno"

- Wow, the final 5. It's amazing feeling making it this far but I'm not down yet. My number one priority is winning immunity, it doesn't matter what the challenge is I just need to kill it and make sure Mitchell does not win another immunity!

"akaleno"

- I've been surrounding myself more and more with people who aren't the greatest at challenges to increase my shot, and now it all comes down to this. This challenge relies almost wholly on luck, but if I can pull it off, the Final Immunity Challenge will be a breeze. The only real question right now is who goes home this round - George or Zane? George is loyal to me but more of a threat in terms of challenges and jury votes, while Zane is... there. Can't unstrap my big boy pants yet because this game is far from over.

"akaleno"

- So, right after TJ went home, there was a MASSIVE amount of pressure from the Corre alliance here to win immunity, the Corre being EVERYONE still in the game except for Mitchell, who wins like EVERTHING. I mean, goddamn, he's won 3 immunity challenges in a row and played the idol for the double TC (when immunity didn't have a challenge), so that's 4 times immune in a row xD And if he got his 5th immune eviction, then there's massive bloodshed within the Corre, I don't know if I would have survived because ya just don't know sometimes. But, after a LONG time spent searching the net for everything awesome about it, GEORGE! WINS IMMUNITY!!!! :DDD I'm SOO happy to have this necklace, I haven't had it in AGES xD Not since Day 23 have I had this, and it feels better than ever. This guarantees me a spot in the final 4, there's literally NOO way this can go 100% wrong because if something actually does go wrong, I'll still be in the game and I can adjust. But, I think probably the most important part of this win is the fact that Mitchell DIDN'T win immunity. If he were to get his immunity in the final 5, it would have been a MAJOR problem for me and my plans going forward, because if he won immunity, then I'd be at risk to go in 5th, AND I'd have to win immunity against Mitchell next time, and given his record, I don't know if that'll be a possibility. But, as long as the votes come in flooding for Mitchell as I think they will, I'm pretty sure I'm set to REALLY have a good shot at this. Jino and I have that bond from Copan, Steve and I have that bond from Mombacho, and Zane and I have that bond from both being close to Tyler & being part of Perry's original alliance when no one else in the final 5 has that. So, I think I'm in a good spot to, once Mitchell is gone, control the game. I'll have removed basically ALL of the power players besides me, and there isn't that much of a threat physically to me in this final immunity challenge among Jino, Steve and Zane. I think that if Mitchell goes, they've REALLY set their own death warrants, because I'll be in the PERFECT position to win this game, taking it by storm. They will have NOO idea why they didn't get rid of me sooner, the final 6 and 7 were PERFECT times to get me out, even going back to when I CLEARLY should have gone in the final 24 way back when I was outnumbered 3-1 and told by all of my tribemates that I was first to go ^_^ AND HERE I SIT xDDD But anyways, I've basically been pondering who to bring to the end, of Jino, Steve and Zane, 2 of the 3. I know I HAVE to bring Steve to the end, he's been way too quiet for his own good and I don't think he'll get many votes. So, the question is: Jino or Zane? Jino's got the potential to run the table with bitter jury votes, and I know Perry, Ted, Eden and Matthew are probably bitter because they kind of got betrayed by everyone, and Jino could scoop those jury votes up. However, Zane can take some jury votes that I think I have locked, like Tyler and himself. I've been thinking about it over and over again, just agonizing myself in case I have to make that decision, and at the moment, I'm thinking I want Steve and Zane in the final 3 with me. Steve's been incredibly quiet and sort of irrelevant to a lot of what was going on, he had his role but a minor one, while Zane was borderline inactive, asked to quit and didn't participate in really ANY of the game since the merge XDDDD. I think that if I win final immunity, and I think I have a good shot at that since if Mitch is gone then I'm the only person to EVER win immunity left in the game ;DDD, then I think I'm set. I've got the numbers if I'm safe, let's ROCK AND ROLL! :D Because Steve and Zane both have to recognize that Jino's a larger jury threat going into this than the other of them is, and you only have 2 choices when voting in the final 4 and non-immune :3 So I reckon they've got no choice but to do EXACTLY as I say if I win that last immunity, unless there's some sort of CRAZY blindside and Mitchell stays, in which case I'm fucking SCREWED xD

"akaleno"

- This is the hardest tribal ever. In order to stay I need to vote out one of my closest ally at this game. I know I also need to win this :/

"akaleno"

- My fate in this game hinges completely on Steve. I trust Jino 100% - he's told me this over and over - and he's let me know George is coming after me. And if George is after me, then so is Zane. Right here is two for me and two for Zane, and Steve is right smack in the middle. Will he stick with his original tribal alliance? Does he think I'm too much of a threat? I've made points to him: George is the biggest threat in the game, so keep me around to help win the Final Immunity Challenge and we oust him; basically every juror went out of the game angry at me personally (xoxo Trace/Tyler). He's had my loyalty but I've always been in question about his. For whatever reason, I have never had the same level of trust in him as I have with Jino. And right here, crunch time, is where we find out if I'm playing a winning game or if I'm being played. If this is the end of my Salvation journey, remember me fondly. George will have this game won - you guys can't beat him in the Final Immunity Challenge without me. If he's also at the end, and if he gives a good speech, Jino has my vote. If he bombs the speech, it'd be offensive to the game to not award my vote to George. It's been real. It's been fun. And hell, it's been real fun. But I'm not ready to lay my torch down now.

"akaleno"

- Well I didn't win the challenge but I expected that after I found out what it was but I did do pretty well seeing as I thought I would be last. The good thing is George won so if we all stick to the plan Mitch is going home. Thou Jino seems to be having second thoughts, hopefully this just nerves on his part on taking out such a trusted ally in Mitchell.

"akaleno"

- I'm so mad at myself. I lost by one point, and that one point was from having the same video as someone else - and that someone else was Zane. So the guy who's been MIA the majority of this game caused my downfall which allowed the biggest target besides myself to win Individual Immunity, and this is potentially my swan song. My only option is to have faith that George and Jino will stick by me and vote out Zane. Steve I hope for too, but I'm trying to be realistic. George is the winner if he gets to F3 - at least that's the argument I'll be painting - and we need to stop him; so keep me around. I can.

Day 38
"akaleno"

- It's time for the final vote before the final tribal council and while my plan to get out George is screwed because he won immunity there are still some moves I can make here to effect the game. George wants to vote out Jino because he said Jino is targeting me, which I don't believe but I told George I did so apparently him and Zane are going to vote Jino. Here are the scenarios that could now happen at the vote. 1. George is right about Jino targeting me and the votes goes 2 votes Jino, 1 vote, me, and 1 vote Zane. 2. George is lying and the vote goes 2 votes Jino, 2 votes Zane and we have a tiebreaker. 3. George is right about Jino but he also wants me out and the vote goes 3 votes me, 1 vote Zane. 4. George is lying about Jino but he really wants me out, and the vote goes 2 votes Zane, 2 votes me and I find myself in a tiebreaker just like in Indonesia.

"akaleno"

- Unfortunately I didn't finish the challenge it's been a hell week for me :/ Now I am nervous cause I might go home tonight all I want is to reach the end and win this but how can I win this by not even winning individual immunity this season. Hope if I reach the finale I could kill it. I really need and want that title.

"akaleno"

- This is possibly might be my last day I have a gut feeling Steve, Zane and George might vote me out now I am dead.

"akaleno"

- Whatever happens tonight note to self: George is not going to have my vote

"akaleno"

- WOW. I can't FUCKING believe that Mitchell is FINALLY gone, I've been planning this for so long (and he's been immune all that time besides now >_> ) and this makes things SOO much easier down the road XDDDD I love the guy as a friend and I want to continue our genuine connection down the road. BUT, getting him out makes things pretty easy xDD because I think that he's the last person who I would have had some genuine trouble beating in the jury and in the immunity challenge. Yes, Jino could be trouble in both of those categories, but FAR less so than Mitchell and many people I've competed with in the past. And yes, Steve's done good in the game, but he's always just a tad too quiet to really make an impact. He's got his head in the right place to excel in the game, but he lays low too often, in my opinion. And Zane's been pretty inactive for a while, so I think it's safe to say that I'll beat him. So, with that said, I have 3 things, and only 3 things that I want out of Day 38, my LAST day strategizing, scheming, plotting and all the rest :DDD #1, WIN IMMUNITY. I can't stress this enough, I NEED to get to the FTC to argue my case on why I should win, and I think I've got a good shot at winning if I get there. But, I can't risk people getting me out on Day 38 as 4th/25 if they wanted to, so regardless of if I'm safe or not, I HAVE to win immunity today, there's no 2 ways about it. And I think I've got a good shot of winning against these 3 people, because even when I didn't want to win (f6 immunity bc I wanted one of them to win and f8 immunity), I STILL beat them pretty easily in these challenges. So I think that if I put my heart and soul into this, I stand a REALLY good shot at winning this challenge and this game after that. #2 (if #1 fails), for the love of GOD, SURVIVE! This is IMPERATIVE, I cannot stress this enough. I believe that although Jino could scoop up some bitter jury votes, I stand a good chance against any 2 of these 3 individuals and I can trust them more than others that I've had to rely on before, that's why I picked them to be in my alliance. So it may be possible, if I pull on some heartstrings and make people think I'm their #1 ally, then it's possible to survive without that necklace but you never know with these things, they could have already made a 3 person alliance without me here and I wouldn't know. #3, not really a priority but if #1 survives then I'll go through with it: Get rid of Jino. I've known for a while that people don't really respect Zane, and Steve's done what I've done but a lot quieter. I think Steve could get Mikey's and Trace's votes, but I think there are far more votes like Perry, Ted, Mitchell, TJ that from what I've observed, I think they'd vote in my favor from that configuration. But I think Jino has the ability to pick up Ted, Perry, Eden, maybe some of the Askjas and then he's got a victory in hand if the jury's bitter at me, because he comes across like the respectable hero. I think my chances against Steve/Zane are a lot better than with Jino/Steve or Jino/Zane, but imo, it's not worth the risk of me going in 4th if that were to be a possibility. Unless something comes up where Jino screws himself up and he makes himself a REALLY big target by telling Steve to vote for Zane and Zane to vote for Steve (which he told me he was going to do, that shady motherfucker <3 ), I can't vote for him without a consensus already there, because if I campaign at Steve, he could easily just tell Jino and they could agree to vote me off, then just get Zane on board and all of my work doesn't count, just like that. I'm SOO happy that I only want 4 things (#4 = WIN AT FTC IF I GET THERE :DDD) out of the game, and that it's only 2 in-game days away from the end of this, I'm INCREDIBLY happy that I've gotten to the point where I can taste and smell the money, and very little can change XDD because even on Day 37, I had my list of things I wanted to happen and then maybe something shifts and I have to adapt. The time for having to be super alert and paranoid is coming to an end FINALLY, because it's driving me completely BALLISTIC xDDDD This is finally the end of the game, and whether I get voted off in 4th or not, the scheming of the game will be done by the end of Day 38, and I don't have to worry about what *fill-in-the-blank* is thinking. I can simply tell the truth at FTC, explain my game, pander a little bit if I need to, and see where the votes are when that comes. No need for paranoia of a blindside on Day 39, too late for that. I'd HATE to go on Day 38, but at the same time, my brain needs a rest from the paranoia, that rest which I'll get whether I get to Day 38 or Day 39 bc nothing happens on Day 39 that could eliminate me. In my experience, the jury appreciates being honest with where you're coming from, so that's what I'll try to do. If I have to lie, I will, but I'll try to stick as close to the truth as possible without losing jury votes. So ya, I hope I can make those 3 things happen, because it would be TERRIBLE to go home on Day 38, having made so many moves (infiltrating the old-schoolers and getting rid of Ivan, assimilating within Perry's clique and knowing when to leave, Isaac, Matthew, exiling Eden to ensure Ted going home, Mikey, Eden, creation of the Corre and thus TJ and Mitchell, and countless other things) to just go home on Day 38, with all of it being for nothing. GOD I hope I survive this :P