Damned If I Did, Damned If I Didn't/Confessionals

Day 5
"riza"

- I think I completely underestimated the fact that winners have a massive target on their backs, just because everyone else wants to win themselves and are a bit jealous!! This definitely scares me, luckily I'm on a tribe with 3 winners so I think I'm fine here, but it definitely makes me want to re-think my strategy moving forward a bit !

I think like Miguel wants me and Jessy with him because he doesn't want to be the last winner, and I definitely know Miguel believes he's running the show so I'm trying to be buddy buddy with him, but I need Miguel here for a while because I think he would have a bigger target on him over me if it came down to that, so he can potentially be my buffer hopefully !

I'm glad Mihai is gone in a way because I could never see myself working with him, but if this is the mentality of every other tribe I could be screwed moving forward!! "hizoku"

- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MIHAI LEFT. Now all that needs to happen is for Alexa to go and I'll be happy [:, she's so annoying. Apparently she messaged Jared out of the blue saying 'Ilysm you're so amazing' like um if he's so amazing then don't SPREAD RUMOURS ABOUT HIM BEHIND HIS BACK 24 HOURS AFTER YOU FIRST MET HIM? I hate her. "riza"

- Whoa all these winners leaving and I'm just like WHO'S GONNA GO NEXT HUH HUH GIVE ME SOME POPCORN GIVE ME SOME CHIPS I'M READYYYY "riza"

- A lot of people are freaking out about the secret tribe but honestly it doesn't really phase me, in my eyes I do see more competition but I also see more allies. Charley and I have a mutual friend in Eddie and although we haven't officially met, I already feel weirdly a bond to her and am very much excited to meet her if our paths cross, and thats only one of the tribe members. For now on Riza, everything is running pretty smoothly. Everyone appears to be anti-Brittany because shes just very awkward and anti-social, so if shes able to escape tribal by Riza winning immunity after immunity (which I wouldn't even complain about) then she'll last longer, but the moment we go to tribal I have a strong feeling she'll just be an easy out and I won't be complaining too much about it. As for now, my goal is to establish more of a one on one bond with Claire for the future so that way when its time to cut Chris off if I have to, she'll side with me over him. It'll be a tough task because she seems very attached to him, but I've gotten myself out of sticky situations before and I feel like it'll be manageable! "hizoku"

- I just approached Uli and made him believe that he and I are a pairing while still making Matt believe the same thing, covering all my bases. Little by little I’m trying to let people on to realizing how much of a snake Ash is, planting seeds to leave them with a little bit of paranoia. In this game you’ve gotta keep your high and your middle finger higher, so that when you win you can give a big “FUCK YOU!! SSKSLK” to anyone who didn’t believe in you! "hizoku"

- I'm working so hard on the flag so I can get to Rishiri Island and get an idol or advantage of some sorts. I also wanna show the Rebels that they can't get rid of me because they'd suck at challenges - I've been a dominating force in the challenges so far and I know Ash was getting angry at people for not caring about them so hopefully me continuing to put loads of effort in will make them save me over Jared. If I dominate in the puzzle, then the flag back-to-back (and Alexa/Matt continue to flop) then MAYBE people will think twice about voting me out pre-swap. "makeinu"

- so i basically believe im at the bottom of the tribe. that, or the wikia really hasnt changed that much and people just arent making solid alliances. i'm gonna have to look into that a bit more so hopefully we don't lose the next immunity challenge lol. The new tribe can go back to where it came from I am NOT a fan. also makeinu literally translates to losers so thanks hosts!!! "ningyo"

- Mihai leaves as planned, just like we all wanted. I now need to take a back-seat because if I have learnt anything from this situation, I need to be observant and keep the information I need secret until I can use it as a weapon. Playing this hard this early is going to make me a pre-merger and I don't want that. "riza"

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzJO2nEXF8k&feature=youtu.be "hizoku"

- This isn't too much of a confessional but Uli brought up football randomly and I went along acting as if I watch football to try to connect with him when in reality I've never watched a game in my life UGH "riza"

- God it really does take everything in me to like, put on a fake smile and talk the way these people are talking. Like, I haven't used "xD" in years, but if I want to fit in with these people who use these faces all the time to make them comfortable around me, I need to!!!!! It's EXHAUSTING. Even things just as simple as using proper capitalization is annoying, but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess!!! "riza"

- Also, I had a great bonding session with Brittany last night where she showed me like 15 pictures of herself with different nose rings in! She's a sweet girl and all, but it definitely is exhausting trying to fake how much I'm into this stuff honestly!! Females love being complimented, right? Especially ones who put themselves out there w/ all of these pictures of them with different accessories, right?!?!?!!?!?!? I guess I'll just keep working it even though Miguel is planting seeds to get rid of her!! "makeinu"

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFMHihEtHYk

Day 6
"ningyo"

- Alietta and Charley r rlly close I feel like and Alex i'm worried will be a swing vote and side w them but imma make some #powermoves to change shit around "makeinu"

- I felt so disappointed about the flag 😭😂 Some of these flags looked like it took 30 minutes to make but I'll take it like a champ and move on!!! hopefully slay this challenge too!

"hizoku"

- SOOOO I got the advantage for the tribe and I hope that it helps us win immunity because I REALLY cannot afford to go to TC. With the double TC, I think people may be expecting a swap and that means the Rebels don't need me for challenge strength anymore and that's really worrying. I hope at Rishiri I'm able to find the idol but Ash has legit told me nothing about it so she could theoretically have it. If I go to Rishiri and the idol's already gone then yikes... "ningyo"

- Alex is such an asset to this tribe and his hardwork should go by noticed. With that being said, I know that around the merge phase of the game, Alex is going to be a huge immunity threat for his determination, effort and ability to perform well in different types of challenges. I am going to keep that in the back of my head for now because he is my ally and I need him in this game. I think what makes this season interesting is we have a lot of physical competitors (Alex, Ally and Jamie), strategic masterminds (Brett, Chris, Claire, Jared and Jessy) and some social butterfly's (Charley, Emma and Sora). This is going to be one MESSY ass season. "hizoku"

- I have Matt and Uli wrapped around my finger and they both believe that I’m their closest ally which is a MAJOR plus! I’ve been slowly trying to repair my relationship with Jamie so that if she tries doing anything shady that she leaves me out of the crosshairs, hopefully. You know I might not be able to stand Ash after I found out what she’s been saying about me but in this game you have to have to keep your cards hidden or you’ll flush your way out of this game. I have no problem becoming her little best friend, if it means I can gather information that’ll allow me to destroy her game piece by piece until there’s nothing left except a snuffed torch. "ningyo"

- If we lose immunity, I'm pretty confident that my vote is going to be for Christine like girl, did you even attempt any part of this challenge and if so, how significant was the impact of your work? Like girl, get your act together we are a god damn tribe, stop letting the same ass people do all the fucking work. "hizoku"

- A DOUBLE TRIBAL DJDLJD doing whatever I’ve been able to these past few days to make sure my ass isn’t grass when we hit tribal. Honestly I wish I could write Alissa or Szymon’s names down but they have my damn immunity necklace, on a side note before coming on this tribe I wasn’t aware that some of these people would give me a dose of nyquil every god damn time we have a convo oh my goddd some people are just so boring. I try so hard to make it sound like I care and am the nicest most harmless person ever because before they know it Szymon will be putting “Sole Survivor” on my wikia page <3 "ningyo"

- Yeah, thank you Christine. Thank you for nothing. "riza"

- So Rishiri was a flop but it's okay hopefully I can go back now that I know the answers to everything ! I had to come clean to the tribe about it so they don't think I'm shady for keeping secrets, but I mean Miguel clearly thinks I was lying even though I wasn't based on his question "what was the meal?!!??" trying to catch me in a lie, so that's not good!!! He can try whatever he wants to get rid of me if he doesn't trust me because he'll just look foolish honestly!! "makeinu"

- Pretty much trying any combination of letters at this point in order to snag any possible words...I don't know if I need an advil or vodka! "makeinu"

- Im praying that we win asdfg i dont wanna feel hopeless again 😕 "makeinu"

- dead bitch walking rises again "riza"

- Tribal sucks!!!!! Although this is a convenient excuse to get rid of Brittany and removing the threat of her linking up w/ some of her friends on the other tribes!!! I hope I can escape this tribal with no votes, but we'll see!! I hope I don't get blindsided, but I just gotta keep reminding myself that Miguel needs winners in the game being that two have been voted out already ! "riza"

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--gN024ptOk&feature=youtu.be "riza"

- Oh no what's going on I have no idea...HAHAHAHA It's so nice to have control of a tribe when people are non the wiser "hizoku"

- I feel like just because holy shit, my tribe hasn't lost a single challenge, that this game might just be lucky for me. Usually I'll have lost a challenge and then I get caught in a web because I try to kind of mold the game to be best for me, but since I don't need to, I don't have that target on my back yet. I might actually be able to make merge?!??! "ningyo"

- Ok...so I’m not the happiest camper right about now. We flopped. Again. Am I surprised? No. Am I annoyed? Yep! Literally I’m in so much trouble right now it’s not even funny. I know Alex and Alietta are going to be gunning for me and Sora’s literally my saving grace right now. I think at this point our goal is to get Alietta out. I feel like me and her play a pretty similar game, except she’s A LOT more vocal things. Anyway, I adore her, but she’s dangerous and I can’t trust that. I’m trying my best to make a good enough connection with Charley so that if Alex and Alietta use their name again, I can use it as ammo and tell her she’s on the bottom with them or SOMETHING. I don’t know...Part of me wishes I mutinied and I wouldn’t be in this situation but I just felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t at that point. I feel bad cause Sora told me he’d literally blow up his game to help me so like……..I have such a huge responsibility if this actually works out. I just need Charley to trust me enough to get this done. "riza"

- We lost immunity but honestly I'm really excited about it. Miguel finally took initiative and created the alliance with him, myself, Hunter, and Chris and it makes me feel weird because last season I was all about girl power and now I'm working with the guys lmao. Claire and I bonded a little more because we did a ton of work in the immunity challenge together and I feel myself getting closer, I just need to make personal connection to her to lure her away from Chris soon. I know she's loyal and she'll stick by my side I feel if I can get her to. Brittany is going 5-1 this tribal with Claire receiving the 1 vote most likely. I feel as if I'm getting back into the way I used to play where I knew the plan the entire time and things fell through solidly, but then again I'm gonna be on my feet because things won't always work perfectly like they did on Sichuan. This is an All-Stars season after all! "hizoku"

- Another immunity win, things are going well. I've got good relationships with almost everyone, I scrambled my way into the majority, and I have a really tight alliance with Alexa. She's got the same intensity/paranoia that I do, and we mesh really well. I trust her a lot. Still, it's getting real boring. Everyone is resigned to their spot on the tribe, and the two on the outs are just acting like they don't know and praying for a swap. I love winning, I fucking love winning, but god damn do I want us to lose our next challenge. Let's go to tribal, mix things up. Gotta trim some of the fat. And Jared's the fucking fat.

"ningyo"

- So tribal last round went as planned, Mihai left, but before he did he had like a giant blowup about a girl's alliance and I was like... yikes I didn't really buy much into it, because I trust Alietta a lot and I don't see her going for something like that. She's probably the person I feel the most comfortable talking strategy with and it's always great to have someone like this in a game, as already said. Now, nothing really happened as of strategy on the tribe anymore. We had a flag making challenge, which I volunteered to do, because I love graphic designing and I like to improve more and more and flag challenges are a perfect way of doing so. I think the flag came out kinda cute and I'm really happy that it got us second place. I mean hey, I got to go to Rishiri Island, or w/e, because of it and that's a place you wanna visit! Now the immunity challenge was some absolute bullshit. I was like the only one really doing anything and I continously asked for people to check stuff, to add stuff etc. etc. but for HOURS I was the only one doing ANYTHING until Alietta eventually came online and helped a little too. The others really barely did anything. Sora and Charley tried and Christine in my eyes did completely nothingggggg. It's so sad, because I've been starting to connect with Christine. I found out we played Tumblr Survivor: Egypt together and we kinda connected but then she had to vote me out oop, oh well I am not salty, everyone did, so she just had to do what she had to do. Now after all, we are going to tribal because we came in LAST FUCKING PLACE and I am so pissed off, because I'm sure if more people helped, we could've had some sort of an edge. I better NOT get fucking voted out, because I did A LOT for this challenge. I really fear that Christine doesn't get voted out and the alliance falls apart, because I would absolutely love for CAAS to be a successful alliance, since we all seem to get along and I have good private conversations with every member of it. They all say they are loyal, Charley said it kinda drunk, so I am hoping that it's not an act or anything. I'm generally loyal to my first alliance and I hope they don't fuck with that immediately, it would really suck. Especially because I am expecting a swap to come up soon and a corrupt tribe would completely juggle around with numbers. I did come out with an item from Rishiri Island, a vote negator, and I'm super excited, because it could somewhat help in the long run. I plan on pretty much immediately telling the group, so that they know that they can trust me and they are less likely to do stupid shit, because voting someone out with an item that can be used in their benefit, could actually be really fucking stupid lmao... Now I'm just sitting here, hoping I put my fate in the right people's hands and that this is something that will work... "riza"

- hi vl i'm really mad bc I love Claire so much she's so sweet yet everyone wants to vote her out 😕 Imma try to change this, but as of rn I get along best with Chris so as long as I have him I think i'm okay without Claire but she would probably work with me which sucks so bad, but it also helps me vote out someone else if we go to another tribal, but then again Claire would probably vote with me ugh this sucks. Best case scenario someone like Hunter goes tbqh. "ningyo"

- This is my first ""paranoid"" confessional of the season, but buckle up for lots of these because I'm a paranoid bitch. Anyway, we lost immunity, so we're going to tribal, which really sucks because I like this entire tribe. They're all super sweet and nice. Christine is probably going because she is on the outs of the alliance, but it sucks because she's so sweet and kind and ugh, when good people have to go it just sucks. BUT SORA GAVE ME AN INTERESTING LITTLE NUGGET OF INFORMATION, apparently Alietta told Christine that the vote was for me. I don't think that they are turning on me per se, but like... Here's Alietta, claiming I'm her best ally and everything, throwing my name out this tribal. Like I get it with last tribal, with Mihai it made sense. But now my name is being thrown out again? I've been playing the sweet ""Loyalty is the best!"" girl on my tribe, but I mean loyalty isn't the best, you have to fuck people over this game. And I know how I am, I'm paranoid as HELL and something that seems small and insignificant to one person can set me off. And this set me off. I don't know why Alietta did it, but she just completely lost my trust. I'm loyal to Sora, and Alex. If we lose again there's a good chance she'll get my vote. Not a good way to make friends, but whatever. I don't like being screwed with.

"makeinu"

- haha I should probably do a confessional, haven't done one in a bit because it's been pretty chill lately. I am glad we aren't going to tribal council because I really think our tribe could be a strong group going forward. We all have different skills that when combined makes us pretty diverse and strong. If we do lose in the future Molly will probably be the vote off but I can't say for sure as everyone is still holding their cards very close to their chest. Right now if anything I am just correcting my old mistake. I played way too aggressively last time and ended up with a huge target on my back for the entire game. I like that version of myself but if I can't bring it out yet, it's too early. Aggressive Brett will come to play, just not yet. Currently my strategic plan is pretty fucking boring but survivor is a marathon not a sprint and I have to play accordingly. I am just bonding with my tribe members and really trying to lay on the charm thick. People in this game will naturally gravitate towards a calming and comfortable personality, and if I can radiate that to people then I will be solid. "ningyo"

- Christine has actually got a mouth and is using it once again, during the tribal phase of the game. It doesn't work like that, like I feel so bad because she is a sweet girl but like girl why wasn't you cute a week ago? Being cute now ain't going to cut it and only makes it harder for me to vote you out. My vote was decided way before this tribal and I'm sorry we couldn't end up working together but...right now I'm loyal to my alliance and really wished we won immunity so I didn't have to do this. I truly am sorry. "riza"

- I think the bad thing about a tribe who isn't like on a lot is the paranoia in thinking that because you don't have reassurance about shit constantly that ur gonna be blindsided ! I think I know what's happening, like Britt is targeting Miguel over Claire like we told her and everyone else is going for Britt, but I could be wrong. I'm HOPING I'm not wrong because then I have the numbers regardless of the outcome of tribal as Claire/Jessy and I are solid, but ya never know! If I'm blindsided I'll be devastated that's for sure "hizoku"

- SO MY TIME AT RISHIRI WAS A COMPLETEEEE FLOP. Complete - BUT, I've worked everything there out. I chose Angie and she led to nothing, but the two picks were interesting. Erin? Got her vote blocked. Laure? Mutinied. If I would've chosen either of those two, I could've worked this out AND had gotten an advantage like leaving the Rebels or getting a vote blocker. This is crucial though, I don't know if anyone else has worked this out but that would mean that there isn't even an idol hidden down in Rebel Road - rather, it'd be with the leaders or (most likely) the underdogs. Time to return and get that idol and NOT flop completely again. "ningyo"

- Christine, bye girl. No regrets if you want to throw my name around as a vote. Your ass is GRASS. Hope 22nd satisfies you. I mean, I shouldn't really be mad because I'm voting you out anyway but the fact you came to me first with "if I hear your name I'll let you know, ok?" By now, you should know that Alietta does NOT play those games and I will be coming for you if my name is put at risk. I can do that shit to you but when you try it with me...your barking up the wrong tree. The thing is, I already have your head on nice silver platter so I hope your ready to be served, because I'm ready to feast. "ningyo"

- God this tribal is messy. I'm honestly trying to be a good person and get work done for once but these people will not shut up! And you know, we almost had a clean execution for Christine. One swing and the head is off sort of thing. Which is how you want it for the least suffering. But I had to go open my big mouth and tell Alietta ""Hey, Christine threw your name out there."" And now Alietta is like freaking out, and being super shady to Christine. Like.... Now our execution is more like gracelessly hacking away at her. And I do feel bad. Not as bad as I let on in the alliance chat where I laid it on pretty thick about how bad lying is, but I do feel bad. Christine is just lying in an attempt to survive, we can't blame her for that. And we're lying to her, so it's very hypocritical to get mad at her for lying. So I don't get such anger. Plus I still don't know how loyal Alietta was to me. It just feels shady that Christine would randomly tell Sora (not me, Sora) that Alietta threw my name out there. I feel like if Christine was lying about it she would've said it to me, not him. So I'll keep an eye on that. But.... Yeah these people man. Can't get a moment of peace. "riza"

- I guess it won't be like my previous games where I only recieved votes in the last days of the game. I hate that I'm being targeted already. Can I catch a break?? UGh. But if these people have a brain they won't keep Brittany over me. I mean she barely does anything at our tribe. I've been an asset for this team since Day 1 and would be stupid from them to vote me out this soon. Who knows.. it could be me going home tonight. But I hope I can stay, there's a long way for me yet to go through in this game. "ningyo"

- I'm playing Christine at her own game so she is super blindsided when she leaves because she tried fooling me and it almost worked. I am complimenting her etc. so I hope she is ready for this, because I am. "ningyo"

- So apparently some small shit has hit the fan, Christine is aiming to get Alietta out but didn't talk to me about it, threw out a lie to people about Alietta wanting Charley out, threw out to Alietta that she'd be fine voting me and it's just an all around mess... but it seems like it's gonna cause our group to stick together hopefully? I love the girl, but she just got unlucky here 😕. "ningyo"

- its only my second tribal and im having the worst mental breakdown ever. http://67.media.tumblr.com/9b791c4f82f24c561a73034b45f28552/tumblr_inline_obrw68nbju1tqgkq8_400.png "ningyo"

- lmao as I have a very irritating conversation with Christine, I mean I love her a lot personally, but she is literally denying any rumor I heard that I bring up passively, while trying to frame Alietta for wanting me out. Interesting. "hizoku"

- Matt told me that Ash told Uli about that alliance plan between me, Alexa, Jared and Ash and honestly... why? I truly don't even see why me and Jared were so unfavourable to everyone when I literally said in my first confessional I planned on being loyal. I get why Matt and Uli were skeptical but to Ash and Alexa I legit did nothing lol? And that also makes me worried because I was trying SO hard to flip Ash that I sent her everything Matt or Alexa ever said to me and if she's a rat then she would've just gone right back to them with it. SO NOW I'm confusing on NOT spreading info - everything Matt's told me I've kept to myself, Ash bitching about Matt and Alexa I've kept to myself (mostly lol) and I'm just gonna keep quiet until I need to blow stuff up. Matt also hinted that Ash and Alexa were fighting for my loyalty over the other and firstly, I don't know WHY they'd do that? To me it seems dumb since they've tried to ostracise me so much that then trying to bring me back into a group seems crazy, so maybe it's not even true, but if it is true then I don't know who I dislike more and who I'd side with. Alexa honestly demolished my game for no reason, and Ash is a rat who cannot be trusted. Right now my game just relies on there being a swap soon or being sent back to Rishiri Island where I can search for that idol near Sam McCanada's area (she's at Leader Lagoon), if it's not already gone by now (which it could be).

Also I offered Jared a f2 and he accepted which I do plan on being legit fully loyal to, we've had to SUFFER through Alexa's reign of terror and Ash's fakeness so we deserve it tbh. Also I offered Jared a f2 and he accepted which I do plan on being legit fully loyal to (if we swap and we both make it), we've had to SUFFER through Alexa's reign of terror and Ash's fakeness so we deserve it tbh! BUUUT it's also kinda strange because if we're going to TC then I might have to vote him even though I wanna go to f2 with him, because if it's just between us two then I'd rather him go than me. So he's my f2... who I'll be pushing to go if we go to TC 🙂. "riza"

- Me lying to Hunter about someone sending me fake parchments, if only he knew I actually send them and spend 10 minutes on my fake parchments so people don't suspect a thing when I trick em ! "riza"

- This tribal is running smoothly and everyone is still voting for Brittany, but as we're getting closer I almost wanna cause trouble. I started going around saying "I feel so bad for Brittany, I almost wanna tell her shes going" just to see if Brittany flips her shit in the main chat and exposes people. I like playing make-belief because you never know how it'll benefit you in the future, and people seeing me as an emotional player like Claire relates to being loyal and "not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings 😞" and if people perceive me as someone like Claire, then people will want to keep me longer because nobody hates Claire rn on our tribe lmao. Thats such a complex thought for such a little thing but honestly I feel like doing little actions at this stage in the game will benefit me in the long run.