Like A Continuous Kumbaya Circle/Confessionals

Day 10
"chengdu"

- I am anticipating brains going to tribal next immunity challenge, so I have now started my social game (really late but that's ok)

"ziyang"

- so i was talking to John about Erin and her unprecedented decent score, and he mentions that maybe she's not the weak link on the tribe. I'm confused so I ask him about it and he says he's worried about Yasmin. So I say how Yasmin told me Erin got very far in another game as a goat, and John says that makes him want to get out Yasmin more. It's like wtf? We haven't even gone to tribal, she's a member of our core 4 alliance, she's just a little old lady! What harm could she do? he also said "Yasmin might not be the victim of a blindside" which I'm not sure what it means. Is he saying that he thinks Yasmin is going to blindside us? There's no need to be cryptic with me!! I'm your ally!! I just shook it off and was like yea yea, let's wait for the swap and see what happens then. But it scares me... how he is already turning on our alliance and makes me wonder what he's going to do at the swap or the merge.

"ziyang"

- This was supposed to be simple... This was supposed to be a straight up vote if we lost.... I'm sorry Yasmin... Your no longer doing that.. This whole pity train and the incactive rumor alongside your openly admitting your searching the idol... I'm running out of reasons to want to keep you over Erin, even if you claimed you wanted a 4 at the beginning of the game... Your trying far too hard. I don't trust you.

"leshan"

- Even though we just lost the reward, I'm kinda tired of our tribe losing all the time and I have no idea how to fix it lol. I know that Alexa and I will be safe if we lose immunity obviously, but our tribe isn't going to thrive with just the two of us on that tribe alone. Jake will be a threat down the line, but right now I think we kinda need the 3 of us to stick together.

"ziyang"

- just exchanged my first few messages with erin. After asking her about her dying dog, she says she's very sad about her. Then she asks me about tribal council. what a rollercoaster of emotions. i tell her oohhh I've heard yas even though the only name I've heard is hers. so she says she has faith in us and I'm like girl i literally just started talking to you. Calm the fuck down. I have gone home on rocks before due to ;loyalty" -erin, 2016

"leshan"

- Losing doesn't always suck. I would have been on a tribe that won everything and the minute we finally lost, I was the first out. There's some pride in having survived 3 tribal councils. Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on going again, but there's worse idols to have than Denise Stapley, just saying.

"ziyang"

- Ok, both of Yas and Erin did the same fucking plan !! I know they are strong in challenge. It is the reason why they are here, in brawn tribe !! And you know what ,, they try to play as a goat, it makes them look like less of a threat,, Erin always feels sick and can't do well in challenge,,, Yas always has some trouble in challenge too ,,, everything is fake ! Everything is acting!! I feel sick because of them !! We are in same tribe, we are a team , ok ? We must try to do the best for our tribe !! You can go far by your way now ( a goat ) but it doesn't help our tribe anything!! I hate everyone like that ! I respect both of you as personal but in the game, YOU MADE ME FEEL FUCK a bit ......

Day 11
"chengdu"

- I am NOT okay with Aromal going to exile, actually. I just can't voice that because I don't want to get on his bad side. I know Sim got something good from exile so he probably told Aromal and Aromal's probably like "Oh we'd be a super powerful tight duo if we both had a cool advantage thing!" That worries me because I'm not exactly close with either of them, even if I'm supposed to be working with them.

"chengdu"

- Aromal is so shady. It took him like 30 minutes to reply each of my messages yesterday when i was asking him about the idol. Now he even wants to volunteer to go to the lake and that just makes me question him more. Hopefully he wont find anything and get bored.

"chengdu"

- so Mai started a chat between me and Aromal and Priscilla and it's really awkward since its 2 days old and nobody has said a word! LOL....anyways I'd rather replace Pris with Emile since I talk to him way more, and that would mean voting out Erin who's really nice. But then again I like everyone on this tribe so I feel like I'm too emotionally invested already. I'm trying to avoid tribal as long as I can to avoid jumping into all the animosity that comes with a majority/minority since right now we're all one big happy family, but it's inevitable. Even if we keep winning I fear for a tribe switch.

"ziyang"

- i really wish i was at five flower lake. TSN told me there was a challenge and the winner won something, and i consider myself pretty good at challenges. But I trust Vanne, and I know if she wins she'll tell me what she got. To be honest, Vanne is a bit naïve and I think I'll be able to keep her at my side for this whole game.

"leshan"

- I'm kind of annoyed with my tribe rn because I feel like I'm the only one putting my whole-hearted energy into this challenge right now. Theres only 3 of us left.... this immunity is super important to win as it was the last 3 times, yet still i feel like the only person who realizes that. Jake is road-tripping obviously but Alexa's scores aren't doing that well and haven't in the past couple of challenges and I just feel like she's dismissing immunity as if its not important. I don't like it when people get greedy with power that they choose not to compete because they're "safe anyways" and I'm not saying that Alexa is doing that, but I just sense that vibe coming from her and it pisses me off

"chengdu"

- I'm pretty sure either Erin or Emile has the idol,so me and Mai are planning to do a 2-2-2 split if we lose.Chanloh style!

"ziyang"

- so i was just thinking about my tribe and how we would do come a swap, and i just realized... apart from John, they're all kind of crazy. I mean we have the stereotypical middle aged cat lady who barely shows up and is consistently a debbie downer, an event planner ceo grandmother that says things like "YAS" and "slay", a 15 year old girl who seems to overrate herself and make alliances with people the second she meets them, and a Viatnamese guy who keeps on saying "love you" and sending me <3.

"ziyang"

- john is my rock, i hope that we end up on the same swapped tribe. but he does seem very sneaky, because he wouldn't tell me what he did at five flower lake and he just randomly turned on yasmin yesterday. So maybe not. I don't know wtf to do or think

"leshan"

- I’M LITERALLY ON A TRIBE OF 3 LMFAO. First off, fuck you Marks for voting against me! Second of all, I got sent to FIVE FLOWER LAKE. Like seriously? A second idol would’ve been nice though. I could’ve used it for the fucking tribe swap that’s gonna eat me alive. I’ve spent this entire game building very strong bonds with both Jessy and Jake in case it got down to this sort of tribe situation. I feel protected on both sides, however as usual I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure my torch stays lit even if it means backstabbing my friends. Socially moving forward, I plan to continue to keep my mouth closed and my ears open. Once the swap comes I’m not wasting any time to get to work on getting with the in crowd on the new tribe. I’m just hoping that they don’t get worried about a Leshan member having an idol in their possession. If anything I’ll play up the fact that we never even get a useful clue. Competition wise I’m going to continue what I’ve done all season. Not too strong not too weak. There’s no way in HELL I’m going to try and look like some sort of comp beast. If anything I’m a stingray, come near my game and you’re getting stabbed right in the heart. Heading into a possible tribal I need to seriously weigh my options between Jake and Jessy. Jake is' a huge threat going down the road but would possibly take the fall before me for being seen as the tribe “leader” which obviously is false since I’ve worked every angle of this from day 1. He’s also a very nice guy and I really do enjoy having conversations with him. Jessy is more of a competition beast who could also be a quick target for the others. She’s very vocal about how she feels about certain situations which could be of a disadvantage for her moving forward. They both are very loyal allies which makes it even harder for me to decide who I’m going to vote out. Whoever benefits me the most down the road is the one I’m keeping, whoever I can manipulate and persuade the best as well. Both are great people and it fucking sucks that after all this hard work one of them is probably going home and my relationship with them is down the drain. I’ve been in a tough spot all game but I’m never giving up. Wish me luck, till next time <3

"chengdu"

- We're so going to tribal and even though Aromal's a good ally and friend to me, he will most likely become an easy vote. This is really bad for my game, also i just dont get why Priscilla wants to keep Emile around that much. I myself have no reason to keep him, that only makes me become Pris' goat. But the thing is I can't lose her trust either. I'm just hoping that the other tribes sucked so bad bad bad in this challenge because i CANNOT go to tribal rn.

Day 12
"ziyang"

- It's actually strange to go to tribal. Since everyone except me and Vanne are talking, it's hmmmm. Do I trust my alliance? Not sure anymore. Yikes! Is all I can say in here!

"ziyang"

- god fucking dammit Vanne. That puzzle was easy!! Like how tf is it even remotely possible to get 58 MINUTES or whatever ridiculous score she got??

"ziyang"

- so for whatever reason, John wants to vote Yasmin. He told me he wasn't sure who to vote between Erin and Yas but we all know that means he prefers Yas. I'm trying to swing him back to the Ziyangzi (is that what it's called?? Idk tbh) alliance and vote Erin because this should just be a simple premerge vote of a total flop

"ziyang"

- Yasmin really does seem like a good player. She told me she has good intuition, and she thinks that John is caught between voting Erin and voting her. If anything, that makes her a threat and gives me even more reason to vote her. But I don't know. I just want to dump off Erin and move on to what's next

"ziyang"

- Tonight, we are unfortunate to be noted hat here was a: Death of an Alliance. Ziyangizi is no more after a mere 12 days. Yasmin and John are after each other and Jon and I both think that the other is shady. This is a scary-as-fuck tribal right now.

"chengdu"

- I...

"ziyang"

- Me and Tran are the swing votes. Jon and Yas are against John, and the latter wants to use Erin to help him blindside Yas or Jon. I like this feeling, but you have to be very careful. A pendulum swings both ways.

"ziyang"

- This whole we're definitely aligned thing is bullshit, the whole alliance we had was bullshit the whole this isn't a clusterfuck by Yasmin and Jon is bullshit. What's next the whole I'm start pretending none of this happened. This isn't the fucking teletubbies reunion show. Anyway If you both want to go ahead and play the I'm voting you card but don't have the balls to tell you this straight, then fine, be that way. Isn't much more than I expected given Jon's spent all night listening to me that erin might not be a good idea to get rid of. But Ok stick your knives in to my back and twist them hard why don't you. It's not like I've stuck up for you or anything

"ziyang"

- I'm on a tribe of idiots.

"ziyang"

- This has been crazy. Why couldn't this vote have just been a simple 5-1 on Erin? Instead John decides to fuck everything up.

"ziyang"

- so John is super hard pushing for Yas. Saying how he doesn't trust her, how she could blindside people, etc.. He's my ally, and I don't want to just flat out deny him, so I'm like ok... I'll think about it. Then i think about it and it's a fucking stupid idea. So I tell him I'm voting Erin no matter what. so then he spreads rumors to Yas and Vanne about me wanting BOTH of them out!! Like what the fuck? I was your ally, and you're just flipping for absolutely no reason?

"ziyang"

- so CONTINUED. i make a chat with Yasmin and Vanne to try and settle this shit and get down a concrete plan. John, like the idiot he is messages me saying HE ISN'T GETTING GOOD VIBES FROM ME. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU'RE LITERALLY SPREADING FALSE RUMORS ABOUT ME!

"ziyang"

- so now it's ended up like this: john and erin are bound together with me and yasmin on the other side, with Vanne in the middle but leaning towards us. I seriously hope both her and TSN side with us in voting off Erin or John.

"ziyang"

- I just wish John hadn't fucked this all up! We could have had an easy Erin vote, but noooo.... you have to go and get yourself caught in a web of lies and now you're going to pay for it you bastard. I definitely feel like I have a risk of going home now, but if I do at least I know that I didn't just let that fucking snake John kill me. I fought.

"ziyang"

- also I told Erin she's been inactive and she starts crying at me, telling me that she's had high scores and she's sick and all that bs... girl if you're sick you should ROLL OVER and GET VOTED OFF. Now we're having this cat fight because she can't learn to accept that she's not literally flawless.

"ziyang"

- I want to call out John so fucking badly god damnit.

"chengdu"

- Chengdu is like a continuous Kumbaya circle, I feel like I'm practically related to these people at this point. We've been safe so many times that tribal is such an alien concept to me. I can't even begin to wonder who I'd talk to and strategize with because I haven't talked game for a good week. I'm enjoying this little vacation in the jungles of Sichuan but everything that goes up must come down </3

"ziyang"

- I'm really not sure if Vanne is going to stick with us. If TSN votes with me, then I'm sure she will but if he flips and votes with John, something tells me I'm going home in a 4-2 vote.

"ziyang"

- so what I think happened is... our alliance was made with me, vanne, yasmin, and john. Then John told TSN and Erin about it who made a separate counter alliance. Now that we're going to tribal, they're trying to swing over Yas and Vanne. So it will probably be a 3-3.

"ziyang"

- Until now, everything is perfect! Everyone come to me and wanna go with me ! Ok it good. I feel i am so powerful,,, Now, some of them wanna vote Erin because she is the weakest link of this tribe ,,, someone wanna vote John because of a lot reasons !! But wait John is helpful for this tribe, if we vote him out , we will lose next and next !! It is so crazy! We lose this challenge because of Vanne ... But last challenge, she did great! I don't know what i should do now !! At this time, i wanna keep tribe in strong so I don't wanna vote John but John hmmhmm..... It is a big move of this game !

"ziyang"

- John wants me to vote Jon. But sorry at this time of game, i wanna keep our tribe in strong. Jon is so helpful and i trust him. Therefore, i lie John that i vote Jon but i really vote Erin. Maybe John will kill me after this tribal because I betray him. However I DONT CARE ! It is my game ! I will do what i want. I wanna control it !

"ziyang"

- I am a bit nervous about how this went down. I had no fucking clue that John the traitor would turn on the alliance. Seriously, he is an idiot cos we had something good going and flipping at this time is NOT the right move IMO! Erin is a loose cannon when it comes to being active....there is always some fucking excuse....when it comes to playing challenges. Hence, it makes perfect sense to vote her out. Ugh! I am so pissed at him for making this so difficult. Does he freaking know that Erin breezes through games and gets to F4 without doing anything at all?

"ziyang"

- fuck it I'm voting John. If anyone, out of Yasmin Vanne or Tran is lying, it's definitely Tran. I don't want to go home because I didn't want to betray an ally. I'm a throat cutting bitch

"ziyang"

- tran changed chat colors to pink and the emoji to heart emoticon I'm dying omfg

"ziyang"

- I also don't know why he wants me out....I liked John coming into this game. In fact, I suggested this to Vanne so Idk why he is against me. Of course, I have only played one game with him and he quit the game although I was in his alliance. However, I did win that game and it was BB so maybe he thinks I am a threat...whatever John! If I get voted out, you made a big mistake, you fool, cos I am loyal to a fault....Ugh!