Board Thread:Season 45 - Molise/@comment-31624573-20180221201739/@comment-29674450-20180221210803

Elias I am not going to sugar coat or lie that I said that because I in fact did. However I realized quickly after I said that it was a mistake. Nat was an ally to me and honestly I wasn't taking her to the end because of the perception of her with a lot of people in this game. I think that it wouldn't have been said had I came into this game knowing exactly what I was  getting into because I said a lot of things that a more refined player wouldn't have done. This was the rawest most real game I have ever played. I genuinely think part of the reason for me just going off the map socially was because of work and school. When it was pre-merge a lot of it was during breaks and shit while the merge wasn't, so I can understand your point of view from it and why you and the other jury members might be a bit pissed off by me but I genuinely just didn't have as much time as I wanted to. I do now. But before I had my school schedule changed I had to deal with finals and starting the next semester all during the merge so there was a lot going on that had to take priority over this fun luxury. As far as my game goes I actually was over amping my personality a bit because I know how I can come across to people online as being someone who is like ashley except for I actually talk. So basically confident in a way. I knew that I couldn't do that so I had to be overly personable and overly emotional. While some of it was real like my reaction to the challenge results other stuff such as me being really insecure about my game wasn't. And while subjectively everyone still thinks Aaron was a extremely emotional decision for me it wasn't. I 100% knew that Aaron down the line would be a vote that everyone would need as he was easy to get on your side. I definitely didn't express my game very well in my speech because it was rushed which I know I had 24 hours for but I couldn't stay up and do it last night and then I got busy this morning (so I put it off when I shouldn't have. I did successfully play the middle which was pretty much my goal after I knew coming into the merge everyone except for 2 people was an ally to me. Once you think about that my game could've been a lot more ruthless and could've been played a lot worse than it was. Everyone except for Juliet helped me at one point or another, so I had a really hard time deciding what to do with my game. I genuinely can see why you might not want to crown me the winner with your vote because of my lack of effort, but I definitely don't think that's true. Yes I didn't always have the time to do a lot of the challenges but what I was able to do is use that to my advantage. I somehow used every single mistake and everything you might call a weakness to my advantage. After I went 5 tribals with votes IN A ROW. I really realized that I had to change my game up in someway because obviously I was talking to much or doing something wrong to be receiving those votes. In which I did which is partially why I started to talk less because with my game less is more and it damn well payed off for me. And to close out my statement back to you the strategies/social aspects I applied to the game were the fact that I swayed you guys multiple times from going after declan because if you don't remember when the goose flock was still in affect we were having a very hard time those first two votes and BOTH times Jordan mentioned that we should vote declan as he was an easy vote and honestly he was. He genuinely would not be here if it were for me and the work I have done to save him because I could've easily chosen to let that plan go through and he would've been sitting here on the jury. Actually in fact with the trey blindside I definitely was the main one behind it as I knew trey wasn't someone good to take to the end as his game was viewed as him kinda running things. Thank you for taking the time to write out this lengthy post for all of us and I do apologize if I did upset you in anyway as it was not my intention at all.