Boy Am I Feeling Heated/Confessionals

Day 4
"leshan"

- Julez is out and now the first step in my journey for the title of Sole Survivor is complete. Loren now thinks he has control of me and probably feels like a king. Don't get so comfortable because you'll have a big storm coming!

"ziyang"

- I just had some conversations with host about "" FUCK "". And I realized 2 things: 1, HOSTS WANT MY FUCK 2, THE OTHERS NEED MY FUCK MORE THAN CHRIS !!! I am not sure about it, maybe i paranoid but i feel my tribe will fuck me soon ! Pray for me

"leshan"

- I feel kinda bad for Julez because she was so blindsided and I think she felt closest to me on the tribe, and the fact that I lied to her face doesn't make me feel the best, but I think it just shows that I'm here to win and hopefully I'll be here to the end. I think getting Julez out early was a better decision, but only time will tell

"ziyang"

- I'm suck at flag challenge and i wanna sit out but John sat out so I joined this challenge,,, and you know what ?? ,, I opened my Photoshop and then BANG BANG BANG ,,, OMG !! ,,, I CAN MAKE A FLAG !!! ,,, yeahh ,,, i found out my potential 😎 ,,, I AM SHOCKED BY MYSELF!! I look good and my flag look good too ,,, gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, lovely TSN can make a flagggg !!! I can't breathe because of my flag rooting for my tribe to win Another thing, i just realized Miguel was so cute and nice when he allowed me to change color of the logo ,,, i love Blue logo so I changed it to Blue ...mhmmm waittt !!!! ,,, omg ,,, give me a second,,,dammmmmm,,, Chris has "" Blue "" in his name !! He is Chris Blue OMG !!! Fucking Color !!!!!!! I hate it

"ziyang"

- my position in this tribe right now is pretty great. I've talked and bonded with everyone except for Erin, even though Erin has seen my messages but not responded. I'm doing well in challenges, I've got a good alliance of 4... this should be smooth sailing until the swap.

"leshan"

- I'm continuing to focus on building bonds in the tribe which gave me power for this first vote. I'm going to keep my mouth shut and my ears open. Let people blow up their games while I just sit back and look pretty. :)

"chengdu"

- So yesterday I was really paranoid about that whole flag, idol and lake thing and I became even more paranoid when Erin told the girls that she might want to volunteer to go to the lake. She said that bc she didnt want the guys to suspect us but I think probably bc she wanted to find something there and met friends from the other tribe. That makes me have to watch out for a little bit even tho she's in my alliance. She's a strategic threat to me, we all know that the only reason the brains won that immunity challenge was mainly bc of her smart strategy. Also, Pris' social game is really on point, shes really likable and she definitely will be one of my biggest threat in the long run. I feel paranoid bc I think I've been playing the most boring game among the girls. You know, when you're in an alliance with two really great players, that kind of makes you feel like you're on the bottom at some points. Heck, I even posted the goat's pic the most in that zodiac challenge. But we all know that being paranoid wont help, I have to do something to help my game. But right now it's just too soon and if possible, I want to stick with the girls atleast intil the merge. But I cannot sit with them in the FTC, thats all I know. Or maybe I'm just overthinking.

"chengdu"

- After having talked to Emile I definitely trust him the most. We both have a solid idea of where everyone stands and I'm glad to have participated in the challenge as much as I did (even tho it was very tedious) because now I feel confident about where I stand in the tribe.

"leshan"

- This tribe is utterly obnoxious at this point. I genuinely feel like Jake and I are the only ones putting effort into this flag-making challenge, AND we were the ones who tried to hardest in the first immunity challenge. I'm just getting sick of this because this "Team Flag Making" thing is literally just me doing the work w/ Jake helping me out. Nobody seems to care and honestly I'm fine with that because if we continue to lose I feel like I'll more than likely stay due to the bonds that I've created, so if a downward spiral is going to start, I'm ready to take a journey down that spiral.

"ziyang"

- I'm really not surprised Julez left, considering she never posted for Leshan. But I don't think booting her necessarily made her team any stronger, because they're all still quite inactive. It makes me wonder if maybe a Matsinging is coming our way

"chengdu"

- Okay so I guessed for an idol in the tribe chat and uh, that's going to be fun. On the plus side, it reveals how dumb I am and that goes with the original idea/plan. On the downside, it probably lowered my trust with Erin and Mai and the rest of the tribe. In a perfect world they wouldn't care because everyone is probably looking for it, buuuut seeing how everyone went silent in the tribe chat and to me... It's a pretty good reason to take me out come tribal council. If we lose this immunity, I'm on the chopping block for sure.

"ziyang"

- This here will probably be the episode I'm going to be under the radar for, I'm just enduring the spell of stuff outwith my control, I just hope the variables start to go away sooner rather than later.

"ziyang"

- I'm having mixed feelings on John volunteering to go to five flower lake. For all i know, there could be an advantage there which he could get, and obviously I want it. But I don't want to draw suspicion to myself when I come back, so in a way I'm also ok with John going. Him wanting to take advantage of the twist asap does make me a little bit suspicious of him, but as long as we're immune I'm going to stick with him. also yasmin wants me to post in the wikia thread. is it because she wants the other tribes to think I'm the one in control over here? It's been like 3 days and I'm already starting to distrust some of my allies help

"chengdu"

- So John walks up to me and he's like "Hi, I lobbied for you to go here because we think you're an outsider on your tribe!" And I'm just sitting here thinking like, Come on dude would it kill you to be a little more subtle about it? Lucky for me, I'm not a complete outsider because of the girls alliance. I'm not giving John or Loren any hints about that though. I feel like I managed to convince them that I'm at the bottom. I'm also trying to paint a completely different Brains tribe in their minds. Little do they know that the Brains tribe isn't all dark and gloomy as I say. Granted, things could change while I'm gone.

"leshan"

- I'm really pissed off bc obviously our flag wasn't the best but for a one and a half person effort it was pretty good. I'm just annoyed bc I feel like I'm the only one trying to the core to win these challenges and everyone else on my tribe is just passing them off as if its optional, we've started out as a weak tribe and are continuing to be a weak tribe and I'm sick of it, I really want to get off this tribe ASAP

"chengdu"

- I was starting to get worried about being in exile because I could've used this time to bond more with the guys, especially Sim who I haven't talked to since the first day. I haven't talked to Aromal at all besides in the tribe chat. Then I realized I would've gotten lazy and not talked to them anyway. Thankfully not all is sour. We had to do a challenge for a chance at some sort of choice. I managed to complete it and received a vote negator/blocker for my efforts. The problem is though, I have to lie about what I got on there. The brains are smart enough to know that I didn't leave something like this empty-handed. I'll spout something negative to me. You know what, since I'm trying to go with this whole looking dumb thing, I could probably even say that the challenge was a maze and that I couldn't complete it in time. Either way, I'm hoping they don't have too many questions when I get back. I'm sure they will.

"chengdu"

- So the reward today has gone exactly how I wanted it to go. I really really didn't want to win but also wanted that second clue to the hidden immunity idol. For the past few days I have been unneccessarily paranoid and now I think about it, I feel stupid. I even thought about the FTC and literally saw everyone in this game as a huge threat, smh. I had some theories about why the brawn had picked Priscilla to go to the lake but I´m trying hard not to overthink right now. I trust her even though I know she´s probably trying to find some advantages or idols there. I mean who could blame her? If I were her, I'd the same. But hopefully she will come back to the brains soon and for now, I just want to stay positive and win challenges. I think I´m done being a paranoid and annoying bitch.

Day 5
"ziyang"

- haha surreeee you did nothing at five flower lake other than talk. why wouldn't there be a completely mundane twist where the players are separated from their tribes and come back for literally no reason? why would there ever be some sort of secret power there? We allll believe you John smile emoticon

"leshan"

- The whole five twinkles island. Or was it leaf? Nah, imma call the bitch twinkle. Anyways, it wasn't fun at all... It came at the worst time for me, but I took it head on. The maze was a mess for me, but I slayed it like a queen. heart emoticon John was a complete dick. Priscilla was actually pretty cool, and really nice. However, I don't know if I view her as a long term ally, because she is pretty sharp. Well, I mean, she is on brains. She told me that their tribe was in shambles, and that people were already trying to connive and backstab. Anyways, I am really nervous coming back to my tribe, because I don't know how much they talked, or what they spoke about... For all I know, they could be forming an anti-Loren coalition or something..... I hope not, because I am not ready to play the minority game. I am going to try and get a feel for everything and see if I can gain some kind of leverage or power around here...

"leshan"

- Is it just me, or is everyone so up tight? Like, I am trying to play a game, socialize, and they all act as if we are on a real show... Like there is really a million to be won. Idk, it just kind of aggravates me when everyone acts fake and tries to act like some character. It all seems very fake and unoriginal to me personally, because I am not here to impress. I am here to fucking slay, and to make a name for myself. Just a little rant I had, trying to keep my mind off of other things, but yeah. These people need to come out of their god damn shell and stop acting like a bunch of fake bitches.

"ziyang"

- lmao is Yasmin trying to make erin quit slay me

"chengdu"

- I first noticed this when we were doing the reward challenge but... Erin is kind of off putting. She volunteered to do the flag, which I don't mind but she wanted it done really fast because she thought we might forget. I know there's a possibility that we could've but do you really have no faith in us? Now she asks to volunteer to sit out from immunity. I wouldn't have minded but she had to add that last part, ""Well I basically did the entire reward challenge."" Yes, you did the flag and that was the most important part, but you're saying it like you didn't value our suggestions at all. And don't say that you basically did it all when you volunteered and kind of forced us to follow what you said we had to do.

I'm being irrationally angry but boy am I feeling heated.

"ziyang"

- I think this challenge will be end soon because almost people claimed their Yuan I don't know why, we have a lot of time but my tribe too hurried

"ziyang"

- Mama E, mama E, mama E ... You said that you old , you feel sick bla blah ... I know. I understand it. I respect you. But please,,,, it is the game ,,, if you don't have time and feel sick, why you apply this season ? ,,, you didn't anything in this tribe ,,, you didn't sit out but you didn't anything too,,, and today because of the same reason, you sat out !!! And Vanne ,,, you absolutely inactive,,, you are my alliance but i never wanna go with you !!!

"ziyang"

- I hate it this tribe ,,, It is not brawn tribe ,,, almost people so lazy ,,, i don't know do they have a plan to throw challenge or not ,,,, they always do challenge as soon as possible ,,, they never discuss what is the best for tribe ,,, like as "" ok. I claimed. My job is done. Bye guy. I sleep "" ,,, omg please,,, I can't breathe because of you guys ,,, we are brawn tribe but i feel that this is lazy tribe Do you know how I love this game ? I always try my best in each week ,,, i can take 7,8 hours to play challenge... My friends say to me that casts of main org is amazing, work hard blah blah ,,,but sorry, it not happen in this tribe and i know it not in beauty tribe too

"ziyang"

- right now I'm starting to kind of doubt my choices in the IC, everyone else got like 14 and 16 while I got 8. I really hope that we win because this could create an unnecessary target on my back, and while probably nothing would happen, I'd rather stay UTR and not stir shit until at least the swap

"ziyang"

- I'm talking with TSN, and after the initial pleasantries he immediately went to saying "if we lose we need to vote out erin" which is great, because this whole tribe has the same stance on her. i feel bad that she got this disease right when she started playing main, but seriously... she is doing nothing. She doesn't talk; she doesn't do challenges; shes probably not leaving any confessionals either! we're just dragging her along, and the second we lose immunity she's out

"ziyang"

- yasmin just said "ITA!" i have no idea what it means, this grandma is more hip than me :(

"ziyang"

- Nobody can know how i love this org and respect it ! A lot of Vietnamese players hated me when i played survivor org in VietNam. And when i won that season, someone blocked me. And now when i play in main org, they say "" That bitch never win in main org ! Flop ! Rooting for Mai "" ...! It hurts!! Mai is VietNamese and i am too why ? They are so rude to me. Therefore i wanna prove that TSN can slay this season ! I can do it ! I will be the first VietNamese winning in main org !

Day 6
"leshan"

- I found the idol on Day 5 and with no fucking clues, but this only puts that more pressure on me because if I were to play it when I don’t need it my ENTIRE social game that I worked so hard to built will come tearing down. I’ve spent the past week building an almost unbreakable (not in my eyes, but hopefully his) bond with Jake. I’ve really grown to like him as a person and as an ally, but my options are always open. Jessy is also someone I connected with right off the bat, which leaves Marks and Loren as the only people I’m gunning for at the next vote. I personally would LOVE to see Loren go because he is such a messy player who drives me bonkers, but on the other hand Marks is definitely the person I care the least to interact with. As I did for the last vote I’m going to try to convince others to go the route that benefits me without me being the obvious leader. As of right now I don’t plan to use my idol and hope that I don’t get blindsided at this next vote. This experience has been so exciting and everything I’ve imagined thus far and it would be devastating to get it taken away. This is the only the beginning.

"leshan"

- Operation get Marks the fuck out of here is now on bitches. :)

"leshan"

- Our tribe is like way toooooo dysfunctional right now. Jessy seems sly, and I don't trust her. Marks really is a non entity in my opinion. Jake is always so hesitant to do ANYTHING or even say a word it always feels like. Alexa, tbh, should probably be the weakest link, but I'm not letting my main bitch leave so easy. I want to make it seem like I only trust and talk to Jake, when in reality me and Alexa are always correlating our plans, and Jessy and I talk a lot in private. Jessy thinks that I am on her side faithfully, and that I am stupid. I brought up Marks name and she was on board, sayinig I should speak with Jake and try and convince him. Meanwhile, jake tells me to talk to her as well. I think that it is only so easy for me right now because they are all new to the game.... So yeah, marks needs to gtfo now. Then it will be a 2-1-1 split hopefully, with Alexa and I holding the power in deciding which one we want as our 3rd...

"leshan"

- I am BEYOND pissed that we lost.... again. I'm not even mad at the fact that we're going to tribal bc I can easily get people to vote Loren out, which is probably whats going to happen not in a cocky way just realistically, BUT I feel like we're going to continue losing and thats not a good feeling to have. I honestly feel like the losers who sit near the dumpster during lunch, and its a complete 180 in whats normal to me and let me tell you it's not good feeling like you're on the bottom 24/7. I keep saying "oh it'll turn around we'll be safe for once" but the reality is we'll keep losing challenges until a tribe switch, and then because we've lost beauties already, every Beauty tribe member is going to be the minority. I'm just preparing myself for an uphill battle for the rest of the season, stay tuned folks

"chengdu"

- Again things are quiet, but that's to be expected when we have nothing to worry about! I'm glad we're such a powerhouse at challances but I'm also weirdly wanting to go tio tribal so I can actually get a good idea with what I'm dealing with in terms of alliances and different personalities. I've finally talked to Mai and I feel solid with her, Aromal and Emile. I'm drifting away from Priscilla and I don't even mind...she's shady for some reason lol. Anywaysss now that the weekend is here I'll finally be able to start having full on strategy talks so I'm excited to see what I can do to further integrate myself into the tribe.

"chengdu"

- Woah what the h e c k Erin? I mean this tribe was doing jusssst fine why you had to go like whoops, sorry huns dont be too arrogant just bc you won those first 3 challenges, you're probably going to lose the next one and Liz is going xoxo okay okay i know she was only joking but im a pretty spitfire person and that joke is clearly getting on my nerves. WAS SHE REFERRING TO ME? wasn't I freaking Liz in the intro? aren't I always talking like a freaking android just like her? there was no point of saying stuffs like that, i just dont get why she just had to mention that there's a chance we're going to tribal in front of everyone, like gaghakghajghsjfhsj that joke is driving me mad. My tribemates haven't seen that bitchy side of me yet and I'm just tired of having to act dumb and nice everytime. I feel like Abi in the first episode of Cambodia right now. I'm really close to being exploded but just cant because it will only hurt my game. But really, I don't hate her, I just hate that joke. GHSHSJASJQ

"chengdu"

- I love people people are gr8

"ziyang"

- Erin inspired me to start calling my cats 4 legged fur babies. She's basically the definition of a cat lady

"leshan"

- I think I'm set up pretty well in this game right now. Marks said in tribal that they think "Jake is the leader" while everyone has come up to me saying that "oh you were so good taking charge in the challenge" and stuff like that. I think my leadership qualities are very under the table, which makes Jake a bigger target in the long-run, so I'm very happy with myself for that