Board Thread:Season 28 - Generations/@comment-25567389-20151009034843/@comment-24215409-20151009170249

Hello Amelia! First off, I am extremely happy that the Dragonz are proud of me, that means a lot to me. I fully understand and agree with everything that you said. I was a paranoid mess and I will absolutely be the first person to admit that. The paranoia and insecurity was real to an extent. If you talk to people who have played with me in past games and in this game, they will tell you how paranoid I was but I firmly believe that my paranoia helped me. Being paranoid allowed me to see things from a different perspective. I felt like a lot of people in this game were overconfident and arrogant in what they were doing and that may have prevented them from seeing the bigger picture. Being paranoid allowed me to map out multiple scenarios of everything that could go wrong and could go right so I had a plan of action in mind for every possible scenario and was prepared for whatever was thrown at me.

I’m also just a naturally paranoid and passive person in real life. I find it difficult to open up to people and because of that and a fear of rejection I get nervous and passive. I’m always scared to disappoint people so even when I want to say no to things, like being the designated driver or helping someone with a project, I always say yes. These games do reflect who we are as people and although we’re not stranded on an island with no food or sleep our emotions come into play and our personalities show in the game. I know that these aren’t the best traits to have and I’m working on being a lot more confident and less passive but I think that my ability to use some of my weaknesses as strengths in the game really did help me.

When talking to you I definitely acted a lot less decisive and a lot more passive but I did that on purpose. I knew that you were the one behind the move to take me out when Tyler P. left so I knew that from that point on, you viewed me as someone who down the line would need to go. I felt like I had a lot going for me at that point in the game and had I come to you with a decisive plan, it may have ruined my chances of actually making my plans work. I feel like if you’re trying to pull something off in the game of Survivor you have to keep it between a minimal amount of people and that’s what I tried to do. I attempted to stay consistent in the way I behaved towards you and by constantly displaying my insecurities I felt that made you more comfortable knowing that it was typical behaviour on my part and I wasn’t just reacting to a particular situation that may have been brought to my attention. I felt that if I could keep up being paranoid and passive to you that you would be comfortable enough to play the game and not take my paranoia into account. So when you targeted me again, I was able to find out about it because you had told the same people who told me the previous time who told me and I was able to use the opportunity to take you out of the game. I viewed you as my biggest threat socially, and if I let you get anywhere near the final tribal council you would be the winner so being able to take you out was very important for my game.