I Did Something Wrong/Confessionals

Day 6
"formosa"

- This is late, but I FOUND THE IDOL!!!! And it was on one of the few Survivor players I actually know and love Hannah! So that's great and dandy, and I'm still working on Mackie and Ally to make some sort of trio alliance between us. Although so far it's only been small talk but maybe it's because we won and I wasn't online whoops!

But today when the challenge came out my face dropped and went white, first off it's an all day challenge and second IT'S ON A FRIDAY! I wasn't planning on being on much at all, so this screws up everything and possibly me if we lose. Not only am I not really going to be on much for this, half of our pairs live in completely different time zones so that's lovely. Now I'm not exactly a pessimist in my real life, but I'm basically going into this with the mindset of hope for the best, expect and prepare for the worst. I NEED to make sure it's not me, being nice saved me from the first tribal but it's not going to shield me forever. Sooner or later I'm going to have to get my hands dirty and do some gaming for myself anyway.

"cordoba"

- Phew, the vote went down rather nicely! The stripes and solids alliance stuck together and voted against Bronson. Shannon also voted with the numbers as well because I assured her that I want to work with her longterm. (Shannon when you read this later, I legitimately want to be your longterm partner at this point.) The problem is that my allegiance is to 5 other people before her just due to when I made bonds with people. Shannon is a smart and savvy player who understands making alliances and playing the social game, she wasn't a finalist by fluke and I can tell. We are stoners and live half an hour away from each other so we have quite an amount in common.

"cordoba"

- My bloodoath situation is very interesting because there is pros and cons to having Carson as a partner. One thing that I appreciate about this twist is that you have someone that you can 100% trust automatically in the game, and my game is very dependent on having a person that I can work with wholeheartedly. The disadvantage is that Carson isn't the greatest social player on our tribe, and over the last 6 days I've done quite a bit of vouching for him. He got in this 6 person alliance because I made the social relationships. He got targetted for not talking to everyone enough. And ultimately he was safe because I made our alliance as well as Shannon comfortable with him because they are comfortable with me. Carson is an extremely chill and nice individual, but he gotta start stepping up the social game and be able to look out for me when I need him to. I imagine we are gonna lose this challenge, and he may get targetted again, which sucks for me. Since he'll probably be on the chopping block I need to continue to be social and be very nice to all of the veterans, and especially reinforce bonds with the solids and stripes. I have to have my game in order for incase he leaves, and I can't ever let my guard down and get too comfortable. Paranoia is spreading like a wildfire in my brain and I can't ever turn it off. This game is a complex whirlwind, like a terrential storm that won't let up. My I currently have to weather the storm and adapt until it lets up. "formosa"

- Right now i really don't want to go to tribal i feel like this whole team is really unified and i don't want to make a decision on who to go next because im right in the middle from what i can tell, i do think we have this challenge in the bag but you never fucking know

"formosa"

- We're totally killing Cordoba in the challenge right now. We have over 1,500 and they're at like 300 LMAO. But I'm not letting us take it easy just yet cuz I haven't participated yet and I don't want these guys thinking they can win challenges without me!

"formosa"

- I'm not just a dork--although I may appear to be such. Being a traveled anthropologist, I'm trying to use my understanding of different cultures to bond with people from different walks of life. How, you ask? As long as I bring up Tim Horton's with the Canadians and Tim Tams with the Australians, I'm good, right?

"formosa"

- I just think the fact that back to back tribals have had newbies axed, yet at my tribal we cut the Veteran gaming hard and keep our tribe cohesive, is a testament to how strong of a game I've played early on.

That was the biggest run on sentence I've ever written un-ironically. What a couple of days. I can't even believe how well things are going so far honestly.

I've got my core 6. Claudia and Joey don't talk to me too much, but I'm trying to change that. Sometime's it's nice to have people you don't talk to much, keeping it seem like you're not gaming everyone. Justin and I are tight, although for some odd reason I just feel a little sketched out by him. I feel like he's hiding something, but I'll keep my eye out. Jake and I are boys of course. Alissa and I are super tight already. Then we have Jennifer, who i don't talk to much, but she likes me somewhat. Sydney and I started getting close, and I feel like she has incentive to need me. She's nervous about the newbies getting stomped by the vets. Now that its actually happening, I can make her even more paranoid, and that will pull her in closer. I completely roped Ally in once we cut Aaron, I'm pretty much her new partner. I think people see her kinda on the outside so this works perfectly. If I'm the only one really nice to her all the time, she'll be with me for the rest of the game over others. There's really nobody on my tribe that would gun for me at this point, which baffles me.

Reason being, I'm playing the hardest out of anyone. Look at my tribe announcement. I fuckin told everyone I found the idol location and made it public knowledge! I threw down in front of everyone that we needed to pagong these fuckers (well Joey said that phrase lmao but you get what I mean). Yet Nobody starts gaming behind my back. Well I mean, they could be, but I don't think these people have the wherewithal to pull one over that hard on me rn

Let's talk about the move tho. Why do it?

1. There's a chance I find out where the idol is 2. It shows that I'm an honest, blunt player. People like that in an ally. 3. Somewhat increases my threat level. People want to align with threats that they trust. 4. It brings a slight amount of peace to the tribe, nobody will be scrambling to find out if there's an idol or not. We all know, the question that remains is who has it, and will they use it for or against us? 5.I used it as leverage to pull Alissa and Jake in a little closer, by letting them know before hand, I let Justin know a little before hand too. They'll feel like I trust them for sure for telling them before it Happened. I was tempted to also tell Ally and Sydney too but i didn't wanna risk it lol

ok also is it bad that im like the male Parvati.. I s2g i'm such a damn flirt it's awful LOL but i can't help it, women love me and i'll be damned if i don't love women. i'll probably go down in history as the sluttiest straight male to ever play this org but I'd wear that with a badge of honor.

It's strategic though, don't get me wrong. It's not always just blatant sexuality, or being flirty. Sometimes it's just about listening, understanding, giving thoughtful advice, relating. This can really make a bond with someone, It's pretty much the foundation of a good social game. The reason I can go above and beyond most in this category is because of how genuine I am. 100% real, all the time. I'll say how I feel, even if it's uncomfortable to say. This also ties into the relationships I make here tho. I don't form a social bond with anyone that I don't truly connect with. The people that I don't connect with, I don't neglect, but I'm pleasant with them. People like Alissa, Ally, Jake, I have common ground with so my respect for them is 100% genuine. Even someone like Justin, although we don't connect super personally, we still relate and like eachother, and I could see me potentially becoming closer personally with him down the line.

Let's also take a moment to realize how I didn't even plan on being good at challenges this season, and here I am probably the best challenge competetor here LOL. I really want to downplay my challenge skill soon but for me game rn, winning these challenges is essential. Keeping the clues out of the other tribes hands, as well as keeping them down in numbers, and having newbies get cut one after the other, I have a lotta leverage to work with here.

I told y'all before this season started that I'd instantly validate your decision to cast me, and I think I'm on my way there. Survivor is a different game then Big Brother, it's much harder to be a "puppet master" in a sense. Just means I'm going to need to get creative.

"cordoba"

- So Bronson went out which sucks cause he was a cool guy, but unfortunately that’s the way that the cookie crumbles in this scenario and so before he left he was all like I’ll miss the 3 queens or icons or whatever of the tribe and I sure as hell knew that I wasn’t one of them but I mean, I may have lied to him but I’m not a damn monster… it’s the game and if he had been a lot more social, he would’ve been safe but he wasn’t so he had to go and now that the newbie numbers are tied 9-9 which is good but the guy count is 8-10 and that’s not looking good for your boy so a chick needs to go soon but as always, I’m should be safe for the time being and that’s all that matters to me so that’s all

Ugh, what the fuck are those people at posting, they’re like Russians like WE POST EVERY MINUTE fuck you formosa (except Alissa and Claudaddy) but for the rest of you, fuck you all. Still tho, it’s freaking annoying as hell to be losing THIS BADLY like really got us out of our element and low-key, Tymeka is probably gonna go which I’d rather not see but I mean it’s not me so it’s all good tbh. As long as the numbers are on my side then I’m happy because it just means that I get another three days in this game and they go to the VL where I want to be at until the end but if not, it’s fine I GUESS. Here’s hoping this goes well for me and I don’t go cause if I do, Here go hell come

Day 7
"cordoba"

- Well we lost our second immunity i'm a lil pissed about it too i think my tribe through this challenge just to get me out i think lol  i hate giving  up on a challenge  but it is what it is I think  the other tribe think there better then us because they won two  straight immunity "your not" I  think whoever gets vote out is a lost to the tribe we all tried our best  but i think we could have tried  harder but nope  grrr  i don't know who going to get voted out this round  but As Queen Sandra would say "as long it not me"  Lmao  im good  we need to win this next challenge so we can get back our drive  lets go Cordoba Tribe!!!!

"formosa"

- Today the Paq's bro's, Jake and Mackie, will let our tribe know that someone found the idol out there. Mackie stumbled across the fact when he guessed Hannah but it wasn't there. I check it and yup, someone has it. It'll just solidify ourselves as honest players and cut people the crud of having to keep guessing when someone already has it.

"formosa"

- Oh my god the idol was found by someone not in my alliance...Getting idoled out is the LAST thing I want. I need to lay low, keep my bonds good with the outsiders and win all the immunities.

"cordoba"

- We basically decided to give up on the challenge, because the other tribe was way ahead of us. Now, we're going to TC and the S&S alliance is controlling the tribe. Between the three on the bottom, I think Catherine should go because she didn't do shit at the challenge. Tbh, before the challenge happened, I would've loved for Carson to go because we never talk and Cat/Ty/Shan are nice, and Alex kinda agreed with that. But, Carson did help in the challenge, while Cat didn't, so she has to go.

"cordoba"

- Right now, Alex and I are in the middle between Cat/Ty/Shan and the S&S. We could go with the girls and vote Carson, or we could go with the S&S and vote Catherine. The pros and cons for both of the boot options are: - Carson never talks to us BUT he's in our original alliance and he helped in the challenge - Catherine didn't do shit in the challenge BUT she at least talks to us and I trust her more than I do Carson. So, it's a really hard decision to make, and if we do vote Carson, I need the whole tribe to vote him because I don't want to leave anyone out of the loop and mad at me.

"cordoba"

- It's going down in flames! So I try for a big move; a girls alliance. Amanda doesn't want be in it, I get that, but Marie is over here telling all the guys about it and flipping words to make it seem like everyone is going after someone else. She just wants rhone to stay by getting me out it seems. I dont know who to trust and if I'll even be around for another day 🤦‍♂️ some of you guys are too much

"cordoba"

- So now, the whole tribe is voting Carson because I got the ball rolling and convinced Alex to vote against him. But then what happens? I learn that Catherine told Amanda that I told the girls alliance that Catherine was a target. So, I don't trust Catherine anymore. Moreover, I think Amanda and Alex played me. Amanda told me about Catherine telling her about me telling her that she was a target (lol that's complicated) and I feel she told me because she wanted me to confront Catherine about it, and I did. So now, I think the target could have circled back to me, hopefully not, well that's the price for playing a messy game like mine, right? Alex played me because he made me believe that I was his closest ally but bitch we both know it's Amanda. So, I basically only trust Brandon and Rhone in this tribe (and maybe Tymeka but I don't know if she agreed to tell Amanda with Catherine). Gosh, I didn't expect the third round of this game to be this crazy. Hopefully, I'm just too paranoid and nothing of what I said happened.

"formosa"

- Shannon saying that they lost because they had lives we had to do as if we didn't? If you can't schedule FOUR people out of the nine people on your tribe to be online for a challenge, it's your own fault and not your pathetic "life!" Tea.

"cordoba"

- WHEW! This is some bullshit tbh!

Amanda literally just told me that Marie and her were talking, and Marie referred to a ""returnee chat"" and I'm not surprised at all because I've had a suspicion of this since the Bronson vote - the Cordoba vets are picking us off one by one. I'm pretty sure Ty is next and after that, if we don't swap or something, it'll be either me or Amanda and she's my #1 ally so I can't have that.

This vote is a mess. We're voting out Carson and it's complete horseshit. I've hosted and played w Carson and he's a little immature at times but he's definitely loyal and upfront about his intentions. Meanwhile SNAKE ASS CATHERINE is out here talking shit about me in an impromptu all girls alliance she made...she better sleep with one eye open or else she might wake up without a single hair follicle left. Know THAT.

I like Alex and Brandon and I feel like they'll stay loyal to Amanda and me when the time comes. I love Tymeka but she's like not even here tbh, same with Shannon, she's so cool but like...where is she lmao. Marie may be my partner but I know a rat when I talk to one. Catherine's a snake but Marie's a rat, playing all sides and trying to keep everyone satisfied. It's messy.

I hate that I'm voting Carson. He's so sweet and doesn't deserve this but my hands are tied. Amanda and I are so desperate for a swap so we can spill all our tea to the newbies on Formosa and finally knock out some of these returnees! They've had their chance, it's OUR TURN.

"formosa"

- Arg CF Ep 3

"cordoba"

- So we love st the challenge in an embarrassing way because we had to forfeit... nice but we were never going to catch up so it made sense to and so the returnee alliance said that the votes should go onto Rhone, which was the decoy and the Stripes and Solids were going to vote for Catherine which I was fine with bit that didn't sit well with Marie so she decided to lose her fucking shit and make the messiness of this vote even messier when she thought it'd be cute to tell everyone warped things of what we were saying to each other to turn us against each other like dude what your partner is not going anywhere but you decided to think that it'd be a good idea to use so much energy saving someone that wasn't going out like that makes zero sense to me

At that point, the vote diverged from Cat to Carson because he sucks at challenges and is basically nonexistent at this point and I feel bad because that's Brandon's partner and I really like Brandon, but better his inactive partner than my amazing one so he had to go and here's hoping that our luck turns around because we need a fucking challenge win or else I could be fucked in this fucked up messy tribe