Board Thread:Season 14 - Madagascar/@comment-9698908-20140504015053/@comment-24215409-20140504070821

Tracilicious!! You have me on the verge of tears again!

I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth here.





So in regards to the chance vs. free will point, on my part, that move was completely free will. My intention was never to form a long term deal with Jay, Lincoln and Sergiu; my intention was to advance my position and make it easier to get to the end with you. I knew Jay didn't care about me or my game and he was looking out for himself. That was very apparent from where I stood; so whatever points he was making to me about voting out Taylor had to be taken with a grain of salt. Craig and I made that move to further ourselves in the game, not to work with Jay.



When I made the decision to vote out both Taylor and Charley, it was because I wanted to ensure that I would be in the final 4 with you, Eddie and Craig. When we voted out Charley, Jay was pushing to get you out. That entire weekend leading up to the vote, Jay wanted to vote you out. I had to fight him to keep you in the game which put me in danger because Jay's a smart guy; he obviously picked up on the fact that I had ulterior motives to wanting to keep you around. But I felt it was my duty to protect you and make sure the vote was not going to you.



The fact that you swore on Winfields life, meant the world to me. I know how much that means to you and especially because at the time when you did that, Winfield was very sick. I knew that you would never betray me and I didn't intend on betraying you.



That night, when I found out that we were either going to rocks or we had to vote you out, I was dead set on going to rocks but I decided to sleep on it. When I woke up the next morning I realized that I was thinking with my heart and not my head and I knew it was a decision that I had to make with my head. I had tears in my eyes when I voted for you Trace. And I never cry so the fact that I got so emotional is just a testament to how hard it was for me to do that to you. My heart was telling me to risk it but my head was telling me to snap out of it and think of what the best move for me moving forward would be. If I lost you, it hurt my game; if I lost Eddie, it hurt my game and if you guys lost me,it hurt all of your games. So the safest move was not to leave it up to chance and unfortunately it came at your expense. If you were put in the same position that I was in, I would expect you to go with the safest route for you so thank you for understanding.



As for going to the final 3 with you, I absolutely wanted to go with you. Can I promise that had we ended up in the final 4 together that it would have automatically meant we were going to final 3? No. I knew at the time I would have to take into account who won the final immunity challenge. At that point in the game, Eddie didn't want to go to the end with you and Craig never made any mention of which one of the two of you he would have preferred to sit next to in the end. Basically what I'm trying to say is that yes it was my intention to sit next to you in the final 3 and to honor the deal that we made; but taking immunity into account, I can't guarantee that it would have happened.





I hope that whatever decision you make, you are confident with your decision and regardless of how you vote, we will still be buddies no matter what.