Shaping My Perception/Confessionals

Day 18
"pesante"

- Mai's gone. Literally as cut / dry / boring a round as I thought it was going to be. No final words, unanimous. RIP.

I want the gameplay to speed up here, and I think that will happen when Vicino and Pesante merge. I could see the Lontano's like Aaron, Jason, Marty, maybe Juliet being the swing votes.

I have a good connection with Trey and Ashley on Vicino, but I have no idea how ingrained they are into an alliance on that tribe. All I know is that I will HIGHLY likely be at odds with the likes of Chris, Nat, Declan and I'm sure they will be doing their best to wrangle majority as well.

I don't know how useful Jerry/Jordan/Harrison are going to be in helping obtain social dominance however. We'll see. All I know is that we Pesante's CANNOT go to tribal in this configuration before a swap or merge, because we have a tight 4.

"pesante"

- im really happy that i managed to pull that challenge win and i feel really exhilirated right now after this. i'm ready to get to the merge and play my cards right, and hopefully, win. i have went through this game trying to get my footing and i think i finally have succeeded with that

"pesante"

- Hooley dooley we have a tribe swap. Long story short I kind of lucked out in that 3/4 of the goose flock remained on Pesante with me (Jerry and Jordan), Trey who I connected with on the fake tribe is here, Juliet is here who immediately rejoiced that we were reunited and I was happy too (I'm not 100%? Sure if I can trust her completely but she said she was my number 1 when we left) and Christian and Izzy.

Christian has been inactive the whole day and apparently thats a common theme for him. Izzy has detailed her revenge plans after getting voted out of Lontano, apparently her and Juliet very much dislike eachother. I think if we go to tribal either Izzy or Chris will be in hot water, I'd probably be inclined to gun for the latter to reduce OG Vicino numbers.

"pesante"

- Another day another skid by Tribal. Improving placements is great and all, but it’s been definitely slow at Vicino through the whole game. I mean, at least I know I’m not as bad at these challenges compared to some of these flop tribes.

On top of that, things have really been setting up well no matter what twist has come up. I haven’t really had to hustle to find security with people. I was getting along with at least half the Fool’s Card tribes. When the true 4 tribes were revealed, my number 2 from the Fool’s Card tribe was with me, and I chilled with 2 other people on the actual tribe, pulled my weight in the challenges, and wasn’t really on the minority of anything. On the swapped tribe, my #2 still stuck with me, and my #3 from the Fool’s Card tribe swapped with me so we were getting along just fine once again. I’m good with 3 people on my swapped tribe of 5, so majority once again.

And another twist that could go in my favor, Izzy choosing where she wants to join. This girl has been memey as fuck and shit, she’s pretty chill since I talked to her at the Fool’s Card tribe. I really got along with her so whether or not she joins Vicino, I’ll still be in a hella good spot. I don’t care if people were calling her a threat in their voting parchments, I would be willing to work with her because she’s chill af, and I want to work with likable people. I really hope she joins my tribe, and I can rebuild these old connections no one will expect, especially once merge hits. 🔥🔥👌🏽

"pesante"

- Another tribe swap. Huh. I'm not exactly in a power position, but that's okay. I'll still pull my weight on this tribe, but that might not exactly have much meaning since a merge could be coming up real soon. I'm happy that Izzy is here on this tribe, she's honestly my #1 at the moment followed by Trey who's just been talking to me for the sake of having allies. I see you Trey. And there's Jordan, someone I was on a tribe with at some point, and he's reached out to me so that's fine. I'm gonna have to try and talk to Elias and get to know him a little better because I've never interacted with him before.

The 2 people I'm wary of are Juliet and Jerry. Juliet tried to fuck over Izzy, so that could be an easy scapegoat reason to target Juliet if I feel in danger. Just say, "She's a snake!" and watch the ORGers go wild. And Jerry, I'm not really sure how to approach him. Yeah, I can say we're all good and can play this game together, but I just have this feeling he'll always target me when I'm most vulnerable at the merge, because he feels I'll outshine him in a FTC. I can definitely see him trying to make small talk in the tribe chat, and I'm just kinda "euuh" about it.

"pesante"

- Alright so day 2 on the swapped tribe and I don't know if I jumped the gun announcing to the tribe that we shouldn't put all our money on tribal immunity because "we need to spice the game up with auction stuff." I probably got a few side eyes from saying that, with people seeing me as a threat or something, a shifty person wanting advantages - everyone wants them, but I've just announced it publicly, providing people with ammunition to throw me under the bus potentially.

I also asked Trey about a previous placement he got on Main BB and he said he won, I said "don't worry I'm not the type to get intimidated by past placements, I won Bangarang Season 7" and kind of regretted it after. I hope I'm not making myself look shifty and as if I'm overplaying. I really should've just looked up his placement instead of asking, it makes people self conscious to have to talk about past placements if they were successful. Note for next time.

I feel like Trey is doing a little too good socially so I've been planting seeds to Juliet, Jerry and Jordan to tread carefully around him as he's been on Vicino for aaaaages... but my concerns are that Jerry and Trey in particular are bonding alot, because they're both online at the same time and not opening my messages as often. Yikes.

I might need to do my trademark "slink back at the merge" and/or shut up for a while. I am not here to leave early jury. Things are going a little too well socially for me on the surface, things are running too smoothly and I'm sort of getting paranoid. I don't trust it.

Day 19
"pesante"

- I FUCKING BOUGHT MYSELF OUT OF THE AUCTION ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!??!?!?!?

DAMN. but either way, I'm working to put myself in a majority position. I'm getting a decent amount of information and me and Jordan are passing things back and fourth. Its funny how I did not trust him for the longest time and now this, funny what a vote or two will do. I want Juliet gone. She's not a great talked, but at the same time she is obviously with Elias. Elias is not only a strong player but he's in my alliance. I want to try and make something happen to send Juliet home without ruining my relationship with Elias. I feel like Trey is with me, but I know he's tight with probably Christian and Izzy, more so Izzy. SO I feel like I can kinda chill for the time being and just go with the flow again. I hate playing so slow but its needed for the time being. I do not want a repeat of 703. But I want to play the game hard and in my way. So I'm just gonna lay low and figure out what is best for the day.

"vicino"

- Merge would be lit right now. I need to make sure that my pieces are all set up for that scenario. I have great relationships and an idol in my pocket. It's going to be a great merge for me because I think I have everything set up. I don't wanna get confident because you know how much bad luck comes with that. Hopefully I can win this game!

Day 20
"pesante"

- Sooooo I got the whole tribe to not bid everything on immunity, and we lost. I got a pretty shithouse advantage too, a fake vote. I told Trey about it because he asked me. Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite me or he doesn't think I was telling him a lie, it's a pretty useless advantage.

So I'm now in another four person alliance with Jordan, Jerry and Trey. Wombat Shack. We should be heading into the merge in a good spot like this. I'm doing my best to carry Juliet but I have to do ALOT of vouching for her and I may have to cut her loose eventually so people don't think I'm bringing a goat along, because by all accounts she is horrific at keeping a conversation going and making it seem like she's interested in talking to you.

This vote I had my eyes locked on Chris, an original Vicino who allowed me to have my work cut out for me somewhat by hardly talking to anyone until it was convenient to, because we were at tribal. There is literally no benefit to me to keep him in the game.

MEANWHILE Izzy and Juliet are having a massive catfight and think it's between those two, and quite a few people are worried about pissing Izzy off this vote. I'm not -- she seems to be a bit of a renegade and will be unpredictable anyway. There's speculation that Chris may have an idol and I have a bad feeling I could be the target in that case, but we're exploring all avenues.

"pesante"

- So Trey and I both are in an alliance but clearly have separate agendas.

He wants to keep Chris in (suspicious factor number 1) and take out Juliet. Juliet is a loyal number for me in two separate alliances. I do not want her to go in any way, shape or form, period.

We both keep doing this thing after we do our separate pitches- "BUT I’m not like dead set that’s what we’re doing. I just thinks it a good option. Ultimately I’ll do what the group decides." AKA I don't want to sound too pushy but I want my way. Fair enough, I don't blame him and I really like Trey, but we have a power struggle going on here.

I floated rather aggressively the idea to Jordan about me, him, Jerry and Juliet piling votes on Trey. It would be the JUICIEST blindside of the season, but alas Jordan Pines (bless his heart) thinks it's too early. He's probably right. Next vote, however, I would very much like to get Trey out. He has too many connections and is the leader type. He's a level headed strategist like me, except we both have slightly different agendas. One of us won't be able to make it too far this game.

"pesante"

- So Trey and I both are in an alliance but clearly have separate agendas.

He wants to keep Chris in (suspicious factor number 1) and take out Juliet. Juliet is a loyal number for me in two separate alliances. I do not want her to go in any way, shape or form, period.

We both keep doing this thing after we do our separate pitches- "BUT I’m not like dead set that’s what we’re doing. I just thinks it a good option. Ultimately I’ll do what the group decides." AKA I don't want to sound too pushy but I want my way. Fair enough, I don't blame him and I really like Trey, but we have a power struggle going on here.

I floated rather aggressively the idea to Jordan about me, him, Jerry and Juliet piling votes on Trey. It would be the JUICIEST blindside of the season, but alas Jordan Pines (bless his heart) thinks it's too early. He's probably right. Next vote, however, I would very much like to get Trey out. He has too many connections and is the leader type. He's a level headed strategist like me, except we both have slightly different agendas. One of us won't be able to make it too far this game.

"pesante"

- So it's 2:05am and I'm paranoid af. Trey might realise that he doesn't have as much control as he thinks, as I seem to have gotten my way with the Chris vote and Juliet doesn't trust him. All he needs is to scoop up Chris and Izzy and ONE MORE PERSON maybe to blindside me. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it. I want him goneski ASAP, super cool guy but I want him OUTTA HERE.

God I'm such a power tripper this game, I'm just asking to be blindsided. Fuck

"pesante"

- I'm pretty nervous about this vote because I'm the easy voteoff since this is my first Tribal, so I could be perceived of having no real allegiances. But that's the same reason people should keep me in! So that they can have numbers going into the merge! I'm currently riding on the Izzy vs. Juliet saga, saying "I've heard Juliet's name being said" to many people. And you know what, I don't feel that bad about it because she's doing the same shit to me, she's targeting me tonight. It's honestly going to be me or her tonight, and I personally don't want to get Roarked out. I've been running a shit ton scenarios in my mind -- some like "everyone's out to get you" and some like "everyone's just wants to be in majority" -- and I am pretty scared for my first Tribal. I recognize that I haven't talked much to a lot of people, but that's because I haven't had to due to my long winning streak. But if I make it out of this one alive, expect me to stay in this game for a while, because that means I'm in good company. I really hope I can stay because that means I was able to convince people to stay since Juliet is campaigning against me, I just need to convince people they are in the majority with me. That's what I've been doing for the past day. I'm pretty sure I've got myself, Izzy, and Jerry (I know, surprising, but I can put my differences to the side for my game) voting in the majority at least. And then my levels of confidence for whose probably going to vote with me would be Jordan, Trey, then Elias. Jordan and Trey have been talking to me a bit, and if they felt like I was going home easy, they probably wouldn't feel the need to talk to me, so they're probably hearing me out. I just hope they're not trying to play me, thinking I have an idol so that I don't use it. (Spoiler: I don't have an idol)

"pesante"

- Well, back at tribal again. Do i care? Honestly, not really... like if i go tonight id be super surprised, like i dont think im getting a vote, im in very nice middle position with jerry and if we stay here till merge I think i have like a 99% chance of making merge. Tonight Chris should be going, which like i feel bad about, but like its whats best. I still know marty has an idol, so it will be intersting to meet up with him again see where he is at. I love marty and want to keep working with him so hopefuly its mutual. The good news, is I have leverage over him. I know he has the idol so he is either gonna want me out right away to make sure i take the secret to the grave or he is gonna wnat me sitting happy no need to tell anyone anything. Personally, im fond of the second one. Keep scratching my back, and ill scratch yours. Anyways things are looking good for jordan for the time being. Give me like 2 days, ill fuck it up

"vicino"

- Coming into our next challenge, I'm hopeful that we can win. I'm hoping to not see another tribal until merge, and I really hope i can get to merge. I'm praying that all goes well for me and I can see the merge! My allies are kinda shady at times, but hopefully they stay loyal to me

"vicino"

- I haven't spoke about the game in a hot minute so this is going to be long!!

There was a swap a few rounds ago and I liked my tribe there + Izzy joining it. But my loyalty was with Mai, Chris, Jason and Aaron. Jason and Aaron were my desired end-game group and they are still now. Mai and Chris are now gone and I'm so hurt by that. I loved Mai, Chris was someone that I had played the whole game with until the most recent swap. Losing them both is a huge dent to me and I will definitely want to avenge them: Elias, Jerry and Jordan voted them both out so at the moment those 3 better watch themselves haha, I intend to get vengeance the first moment I can. Mai especially will be avenged.

I'm wary of potential groups forming, the Pesante 4 are clearly close because in a challenge their group chat had been named something banterous. Trey said they weren't close but the recent vote was 5-2. Only one of the New Vicino voted with Chris and I think it was Izzy, I can't be sure but all I have at the moment are assumptions. That is a group I will be keeping an eye on.

Harrison told me not to trust Ashley and then Ashley spent only $140 on immunity. The $140 thing cemented what Harrison said. Aaron did not spend any money apparently but Ashley probably got something good from the auction even if he says he didn't. I do not trust him, I guess add him to the people that I'm targeting at the merge: Ashley, Elias, Jerry, Jordan.

I'm the final person to lose immunity in the game. Nat hasn't been to tribal but she still lost in episode 2. I suppose that statistic is something good I could mention if I make it to the end. I wonder how long someone has gone being immune. I'm going to look at each season to find the record haha, I found Rebekah, Bryce, Erik, James in Kamchatka (24 days) and think they have the record. Maybe I can beat that, who knows haha!!

The merge will see two sides going after each other, I think. I'm livid that Mai is gone and will seek vengeance but I will not let that show to anyone. I think I have done a good job shaping my perception but I have to continue doing it, every message I send and every vibe the message gives off. I have only really spoken about the game a few times and that is deliberate, I want to use social bonds for my strategic game but I need those social bonds built + speaking about the game paints me strategic and I want people to believe I'm just relaxed and someone who's floating through I guess.

The idol eludes me. Someone must have it haha because I've been on this same tribe the entire time and I can't find it. That's probably because I don't guess sometimes though haha.