Board Thread:Season 38 - The Ganges/@comment-5277627-20170207061411/@comment-30203302-20170207073724

I am going to answer your question in a roundabout fashion because I want to use this opportunity to dispel any myths that you may have about our relationship. I think that you especially have this perception, at least in the back of your head, that I fabricated our friendship to gain your trust and to use you. Now that we both have established that I will not be receiving your jury vote, you can see that I will be 100% honest with you and not just responding in a manner to kiss your ass and gain your jury vote.

You know something about me that 99.9% of my friends do not know; I know something that 99.9% of your friends do not know. Whatever you shared with me will forever remain between us; nobody else knows how close we are because I've kept everything that you've told me confidential. Do you remember that night when you opened up to me but I just made an elusive remark about how it was hard for me to completely open up to people? After a few weeks, I did end up opening up to you because I felt comfortable doing so because I viewed you not as an ally, but as a friend. However, the secondary reason for why I opened up to you is because I wanted you to know that you were not the only person going through the pain that you were feeling. I wanted to help you; you've been through so much and I wanted to be there for you. After this game is over, I will still be there for you just like how I know you will be for me. I originally was planning on just playing in this ORG and leaving the community. However, I met some amazing people playing in this ORG, you especially, and I have no plans of doing so now.

However, despite how close and genuinely strong our relationship was, I've developed an almost sociopathic ability to separate game from reality which is almost a curse because I get close to all these players in the game and then am forced to choose between friends. I voted you out, I don't need to tell you why I voted you out. I'll instead answer why I didn't tell you you were going home.

At final 6 there was Me, Issy, Miguel, You, Ryan, Cat. I was really suspicious of Ryan's intentions because he had asked me to vote you out. If Ryan were to vote you out, they would be going to Final 5 with 3 people who had been together the entire game which just seems like a poor strategic decision. It seemed really suspicious and I was worried that Ryan and Cat were going to try to idol you which would put me in the minority at Final 5 with either Miguel or Issy. With idols still in the game, I couldn't account for Ryan or Cat having an idol so I didn't tell you you were getting voted because I was worried you would end up flipping to try and work with them if you hadn't already. The other strategic reasoning for not telling you is that I had told Ryan I was voting Cat and I told Cat I was voting Ryan. I wanted to vote you out while flushing any idols that they may have had so that one of them could be easily voted out at Final 5. Finally, it really disgusts me to say this, but the last reason why I didn't tell you was a combination of tiredness and guilt. The vote was due at 5:30 AM EST for me. I had just come back from a party at 2 AM in the morning and I had to babysit 6 of my drunk friends at a frat party. I was already feeling like shit for voting you out and that compounded with how tired I was from the party made me just avoid you altogether. It's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

Lastly, about your final question. You're forgetting that I know who you are as a person, more than any other person in this ORG. You are extremely kindhearted; we both knew what kind of friendship we had and I felt that our friendship would stay. I saw how you ended up voting your best friend AJ out and how you reconciled after the game. Taking all these things to consideration, I chose to vote you out because I think you would be able to understand that who I am outside of the game is different from how I play this game and our friendship was strong enough to withhold me voting you out. However, if I had known that you were not magnanimous, it would not have been worth it for me to risk our friendship to vote you out.

Finally, if I were to redo it, I would have told you you were going home. Now that I know that Ryan and Cat didn't have idols, I feel like I would have owed that much to you.

Hope to hear from you soon.