Board Thread:Season 37 - Archetypes/@comment-24553600-20161213192225/@comment-27257276-20161213214727

I was writing a response to Emiles speech but after I saw this I felt like I had to reply first. I know you made a statement but I really feel the need to reply because I have been waiting to talk to you about all this for so fucking long.





I really hope you can see that there is game Brett and personal Brett. I gave you both and it was game Brett that fucked you over.



I found that a big mistake I made my first season was that I let friendships blind me from what was happening within the game. Coming into this season I was thinking the same thing that you were “I have plenty of friends outside the game so why the fuck would I ever throw away my game for someone that I have bonded with.”   Then I met you and that all went out the window. We are actually the same person and it’s fucking terrifying because it’s too dangerous for the world to have two of us out there stealing bowling equipment. I was always 100% genuine with you on a social level. The moment we met it was like we didn’t even need to introduce ourselves, I felt like I had known you for years or something and I spoke to you like I would speak to my friends in real life. I find it really hard to connect with a lot of people here because I just feel like I have very different interests than them in real life; but with you I finally found someone that shared the same interests as me. I was never fake with you, and I told you stories and stuff about my life that I would NEVER reveal to anyone else. When we said we wanted to be the JT/Stephen of the org I was completely down for that but eventually things changed and I feel like we are both at fault for this but definitely a large majority of the blame falls upon me and for that I am sorry. I was hesitant to even come back and play this season in the first place because it’s just such a drain on my real life, but coming back I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from reaching the FTC and that mindset might have caused me to play a little too impulsively.



Paranoia is a real thing in this game and it definitely got to me with you. I honestly thought that you could have been playing me and using me because I thought you could have been this tight with everyone else as well. I felt like you could have been just using me as someone that you could drag to the end as a loyal henchman and just beat in the final vote. I thought Jamie was your true number one and that you were just playing me and everyone else. With you in the game people were weary of me because they thought everything they said to me would go back to you, because of this I felt like I was missing out on a ton of game information. I feel like I have already outlined the strategic aspects of getting you out in other speeches so I wont go into further detail. BUT I do want to discuss something else. I am delving deep into my pysche right now thinking of more reasons that I took you out and one that keeps coming up is this. I feel like I kind of got scared and freaked out; I had found this person that was a genuine friend to me, and it began to affect my game. Anything I did in the game I felt bad about; like if I didn’t tell you about something or any move I made that was against you or your interests or anything I did without your input, I felt horrible about. Up until the F10 I told you almost everything I knew about the game and this began to backfire on me as you were also telling Jamie these things and then people eventually began to see me as nothing more than your lackey. Cutting you at final 9 was something I felt needed to be done asap because had I went any further in the game with you I don’t think I would have had the strength to cut you and I would have ended up in the finals against you probably losing (idk why you think you would lose against me you played a phenomenal game). It was too stressful for me to have someone like you in this game because it was clouding my vision. Maybe subconsciously I wanted you out so you would never have the chance to hurt me idk. I am not downplaying my relationships with other jurors because I felt like I did connect with them as well, but what we had Sora was different and something I have learned from this game is that I don’t like playing survivor with close friends. Survivor isn’t a game you want to play with your close friend it’s just too much to handle and someone is gonna get fucked over hard. Getting you out was like ripping a bandaid off it was painful and hurtful at first but once you were gone I felt like such a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders because I knew I wouldn’t really feel guilt about anything else I could do in the game. I hope you don’t think that I was all-joyous and happy to see you go because I wasn’t, game Brett was happy that you were gone because I felt like I was free to move wherever I could and people were trusting me with info again. But personal Brett was devastated and I felt an enormous amount of guilt and I can never apologize enough for cutting you. Had I not cut you then and there I don’t think I would have been able to do it later in the game because of our relationship; I would have loved nothing more than to be sitting here with you but that just didn’t seem like a possible reality. I am sorry if you feel used and abused by me because that wasn’t my intention, I would be lying though if I said I didn’t use you at points for information. It’s very easy for me to separate game and personal, honestly maybe it’s too easy for me and it’s a little psychopathic on my part lmao. But I hope you can see that I had to try and play my own game and step out of your shadow.



 I will be answering the whole F2/F3 voting out Alexa situation in Emiles speech so check that out later if you want clarification.



 I am sorry buddy, and I look forward to being able to speak to you again.