Keeping So Much Dead Weight/Confessionals

Day 20
"yang"

- So Aly got voted out. Good, I was getting sick of her constant bitching. BUT that means Miguel, Jerby and Uli are still in. F*ck those Villains so much.

Anyways I really suck at the challenge, despite being good at it. Yeah, make sense of that. The only thing keeping me from sitting out is the inactivity of Topher and Natalie. Also, I'm feeling about 50/50 on this Immunity upcoming. If we win, great! We got numbers at the merge. BUT Adam has a 60% chance of getting voted off, the only Villain that actually has the power to help me. If we lose, that sucks. But at least I'll still have my fellow American winner at the merge.

I'd best be giving my all.

"yin"

- Today, I stole Adam's thong and put it in Uli's rice as payback.

"yang"

- So the Villains sent home Aly for her lack of challenge ability, which kinda makes our tribe look idiotic for keeping so much dead weight, but oh well, that’s their problem. We won the Reward Challenge partly because we had the opportunity to sit Topher out, so I hope that sends a good message.

Day 21
"yin"

- I think that when we get back from reward I'm just going to walk up to Miguel and poop down the back of his shirt...I know he knows.

"yang"

- Welp it turns out that we’re getting another endurance challenge and Topher’s presence would definitely facilitate things, but he’s not going to show up so… We’re gonna have to deal with it.

"yang"

- What a trainwreck… So the endurance challenge was voided because the hosts couldn’t decide which tribe was more incompetent, so we went to a Tilt tiebreaker and I won it by ONE freaking point. It’s extremely convenient because my sloppiness kinda got us into the tiebreaker in the first place, but I mean… At least it shows that if I mess up, I can recover, which is definitely a lesson that I need to keep in mind when things go south later on.

Day 22
"yang"

- Sitting on the sidelines sucks... If we lose I'm going to be back-doored! I was told to sit out so I couldn't have saved myself even if I wanted to... I'm easily the biggest target on my tribe atm because I've pretty much been campaigning against the 'Alliance'. Anyone could have leaked my suspicions to save themselves so I think if we lose I'm out. If we can pull this out I stand a great shot at making the merge and lasting a bit longer but until we have the Immunity Idol in our hands I'm not comfortable...

"yang"

- I completely lost it on my tribe. To the point of screaming at them and forcefully ordering them.

Basically I was keeping us at a great lead in the challenge, but then Sam told me she would take over. So I went to sleep and woke up to the Villains more than 100 words ahead of us. We're able to get a lead, but then the Villains take the lead again. And does my lazy ass tribe do a damn thing about it? NO. Of course not! They sit on their asses and wait to lose. No one is doing jack sh*t and it pissed me off so much. Natalie had the balls to try and argue against my yelling when she's done shit this whole challenge.

They WANT to lose. So whatever. They can f*cking lose, I don't give a sh*t anymore.

"yang"

- Well after keeping a lead on the Villains for a good duration of the challenge, they ultimately won when Andrei made a mistake. That probably means we're merging evenly. F*ck.

This is the most terrified I've been at a Tribal Council since the first Tribal of PNG. This is the first Tribal this season where I seriously have no idea who's going. Andrei really wants Topher, and I do too. According to him, so does Jessy. So I need to talk to her about that. I want to swing the votes to Topher, because he will be of no significance to us come merge. I'm sick of dragging him around too, when he's not even pulling his own weight.

I honestly don't know who's going, and I don't like that. This was one challenge we absolutely could not afford to lose.

"yang"

- Aaand we lost because of a dumb mistake. It was just a case of bad luck but now I'm feeling the heat. As much as everyone's saying Topher atm I still don't feel safe... Topher said "challenges don't make the survivor" at Tribal which makes me think he's been told to vote for me. If that is the case I think I could very well be sent home if Sam, Jessy and Natalie vote that way too. Topher has been used as a pawn before so it's not out of the question that he's only a pawn again... I trust that Luke and Andrei are voting against Topher but the others are serious question marks. I think we should stay strong and united with a 6-1 vote for Topher because that way everyone's on the same page and we're strong enough to take on the villains.

I'm much less paranoid than the last tribal but the risk of me going home is easily the same if not higher... Going home right now would suck because I was sat out of the challenge so I couldn't have saved myself... I guess all I can do is trust... or find the idol!

"yang"

- I've been told by a few Villains that I'm going home which I believe... Even if Andrei, Luke and I do vote for Topher - Topher, Jessy, Sam and Natalie are all voting for me. I've started to grovel to the extreme... This is the most embarrassed I've ever been in this game because not only was I in a prime position to win this game, I can't even save myself! Natalie, Jessy and Sam are the bitchiest players I've ever experienced - they refuse to own up to any moves they make and they're so fake... The worst part is that Sam is the only one actually playing the game because Jessy, Natalie and Topher are sheep... It doesn't matter how they feel about their own personal game they'll do anything to keep Sam happy.

What's more is I feel like I was robbed of my HvV game because at our second Tribal Council, Luke was told by Ash - someone who's not even playing - that I was targeting him... In response, Luke formed a four-person alliance and now here I am having my friends picked off. Now it's going to be me. Not only was I doing fine up until that point but I think I could have ruled the tribe had that vote gone my way.

If I stay I will be uber surprised and I will stop at nothing to win immunity and take everyone around me down. I can't believe I'm being taken down by bitches...

"yang"

- Big Uli. He was gonna run this whole game. What crap that was. Good to see him quit though. I outlasted him once again!

The last thing Uli told me was to win this season and that he's rooting for me. I honestly have nothing to say about that. But onto other things, Sole found out that he's being targeted and tried to make an all guys alliance with Andrei, Topher and me. I instantly told Jessy and Sam, and Jessy told Natalie. So Sole asked me for my idol guesses so he could narrow down the search, so I sent him all my guesses BEFORE the clue was given. ^-^

So we're probably merging next, and my rival is out of the picture. So let's get ready to fight!