A Little More Shouting/Confessionals

Day 36
"kinavatse"

- So, once again, big move blows up in my face. I thought people would MAYBE LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE, but yet again, no one believes in me to have the ability to make such moves. I mean, i did kinda get the tumblr alliance to break up, but not in the way I wanted. Hanne wasn't the biggest threat or to my game or to win in general, so her leaving screws up a lot. Amelia is also a problem, she knows I wanted her out and I think she saw through my bs-ing. My only hope is they take me to the final 4 over Renz, or try and get out Amelia. Both could be hard, but gotta stay positive that it could happen.

"kinavatse"

- Last night's tribal council was so awesome. I thought I was really done, but I'm glad Amelia and Jessica voted with me even though I really didn't trust that they would.

Now, the question that remains is if I could trust Sora. We just lied to each other. The deal was we split the votes with the girls voting for Hanne, while me and him vote for MJ. In the end, there were no votes for MJ, and Hanne was sent home I clarified this to him, and he told me that the reason why he voted Hanne was because somebody told him taht we're not splitting the votes.

Anyway, during the challenge, I called them out for their pre-game alliance, and I think that was a great idea, and it made them think in a way that I know things in the game, and at the same time, I'm not really a potential threat for not establishing any connections with people. It also made people realize that this is an individual game, yes, a pre-game alliance may work, but in the end, this is a game where you're fighting for title, and not friendship.

However, I could also say that the reason why I'm still here is because of Martynas, Will, and Eoin, and I would also like to add Erica to the list now.

It was a great strategy not making any deep connections with these people especially if you're thinking about your endgame, because the more people you befriend, the more people you'll betray, and the more heat that you're going to take at the FTC. I know that their torches may have been snuffed, but they could still bring fire that could burn anyone badly when it comes to the FTC.

"kinavatse"

- wtf @ amelia and mj!! why would you vote out hanne with her idol now how do I go home on a vote of 0!! now how do we have a double tumblr survivor and org winner (i mean there's still me but lmao lets be real)

i'm still playing the idol on sora. I really want to be in the final 2 with him, he's so sweet and if I go home I won't be upset because I got out saving someone I like!!! the way this could happen is if amelia is lying to me and her and mj are playing the idol on renz and the three of them are voting for sora. which would mean that no votes would count and then we'd revote between me and amelia. And in that case unless MJ flipped i'd probably be going home. but hey that's still a pretty exciting way to be voted off so I wouldn't be too disappointed with that.

"kinavatse"

- *prays amelia and mj secretly play the idol on renz so that i don't have to face the jury*

the natalie white of the season always wins when i don't want them to and i bet now that i'm the floater it won't happen!! i hate survivor.com!!!

"kinavatse"

- So, I wanted to get Amelia out despite agreeing not to vote her, and have Renz and Jessica vote with me. But, they weren't gonna vote me regardless I believe so why should I feel bad about not keeping my end of the deal? However.... with Jessica not being online to talk/campaign to her about taking out Amelia, So more then likely its gonna be Renz regardless... So now what I do is either vote with majority and take out Renz, or vote with Renz against Amelia... for a jury vote I think it's best to vote Amelia with Renz, but to get there and have a shot at convincing them, I need to vote Renz.... it's very 50/50 in this situation, although Jessica said she was playing her idol on me so I'm not too worried, and if she doesn't, hey Jessica doesn't win, but from the vibe I got from her I don't think thats the case. Time to start working my ass off to get to that final 3, I've gotten this far already, and I mean apparently they've kept me around because they don't think I can win immunity or win at the end.... but I don't know about thaaaat.

"kinavatse"

- Let me just talk about what happened at final 6 before I get into anything new. So I had been planning to turn against the Hanne/Jess/Amelia for a while, but the numbers started dwindling pretty quickly and soon enough I started to see that nobody was really willing to work with me.. Renz hates me, Sora's stupid sometimes, I couldn't really rely on Amelia that much because Hanne told me that my final 2 with Amelia was fake; so I found my self in a bit of a sticky situation ;-). Anyways, once we got down to 6 I saw how crucial it was for me to win that immunity because it would basically decide the fate of the game. But of course I lost the f6 immunity to Jessica so I felt really screwed and stuck. I decided to just....take my fate into my own hands I guess, so I told Sora I wanted to get the guys together and vote out Amelia or Hanne, and he agreed initially. But Renz is useless and Sora saw that so Sora wanted to get Hanne in on the plan to vote Amelia and I was just like SORA CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COOPERATE FOR ONCE. PLEASE. JUST FOR FUCKING ONCE. So I gave up on Sora cause he's an idiot. Then I went to set things straight with Amelia, our final 2 was solidifies and cemented (once again?) and we decided to make a move together. Now obviously this is my idea and I'm taking credit for this entire move ok. So I came up with the plan to oust Hanne at the perfect time with immunity in her pocket. Jess wanted to vote Hanne to cover up our alliance and I was like yes u do that jess! like thank god it was so perfect. so then Amelia and I voted for Hanne too without Jessica knowing. so it was def a total blindside to both Hanne and Jessica and just...it was SO AMAZING. Ok so all that's covered. I gave my idol to Amelia btw just in case I would've been blindsided at final 6 instead. So now we're at final 5 and I won immunity yesterday!!!!! and either renz or sora is going home and tbh I don't really care which one because they're both gonna try to vote me out at final 4 anyways if I don't fucking win immunity so.....RIP! Hopefully Amelia keeps it real with me though and votes with me @ final 4 just in case Jessica tries to vote me out with renz or sora lol ok see u soon I have tribal council tonight bye

"kinavatse"

- i am THE MOST DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF THIS WAS MY MOMENT AND I FAILED I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS I AM SUCH A DISGRACE

Day 37
"kinavatse"

- Surviving tonight's tribal council would mean everything to me. I'll really work hard to win that Final Immunity Challenge, and I would definitely want to honor my fallen comrades at the Rites of Passage, so I hope I'll survive tonight.

Day 38
"kinavatse"

- ohmygod i feel like people are making this way easier than it should be??? like, after hanne went to ponderosa i was like "okay these next few days are gonna suck i might destroy my whole game if i'm not careful" because jess was confused and upset and mj wanted to get sora out but jess was telling me we have to get renz out because we have to use sora to vote out mj at final for and that was pretty much her condition for continuing to work with me, and i felt awful and still not entirely sure who i want to pick out of the two of them if i have to pick one, and so i thought it was gonna be a disaster. but it actually wasn't even hard? i told mj that i was hesitant about betraying jess 2 votes in a row and then he was like "i dont care we can vote out renz" so i didnt even have to convince jess to keep renz instead. and then the idol thing was awesome and i love that sora had the audacity to ask if it was mine and also was scrambling soooo hard saying that he only voted me because mj told him to which was kind of funny to me since i knew what had happened, and wow. what a tribal council. i loved it.

lowkey i think we should have kept renz though since he's less of a threat in my eyes but it doesn't really matter because it sounds like we're gonna get sora next time, which was another thing that i'm almost disappointed by - as mentioned, jess was really wanting to get mj out after the hanne blindside because there's no trust there but then yesterday i talked to her and she was kinda like "there are pros and cons to taking both of them to the end if it's a f3" so i went for it and said that i was feeling like maybe we should keep mj because "he's not going to go against us at this point and i feel like people hate him" and she didnt say no which was a good thing. will i really get away with keeping both my f2s next time? is this too easy? (not that it's super easy by any means but you know, on the survivor scale) am i being bamboozled? i'm pretty sure if they were gonna take me out they would have done it by now but also sora is still here and he wants me to die so i can't feel totally safe. but i feel like there has been a definite lack of yelling at me and making this difficult for me and i'm kinda let down tbh. i definitely thought i deserved a little more shouting.

ALSO HOSTS I'M ONTO YOU okay not really but i noticed that it's day 38 of greece according to the wiki which is Very Interesting considering we've all been pretty much assuming it's a final 2 instead of final 3 and there's 7 jurors but if there's only one day left......Very Interesting indeed. [narrows eyes] i am thinking very hard about this detail.

"kinavatse"

- So as pretty much expected, Renz went home. What was unexpected was MJ actually voted Amelia, even though I'm 99% sure he gave her an idol so I don't know. Jess gave me her's so I'm 100% loyal to her, if that was her plan good job but I need her anyway to take down Amelia. It's so awkward because I love her as a person, but hate how she's dominated this end game. My only hope of winning is to take her down. I thought and hoped I'd be able to do it by myself, but seeing the actual challenges, I'm not too sure I can. So time for plan B, get the only other person who can immunity to win it, and that's MJ. I don't know where he stands with Amelia, but I know him winning immunity is best case scenario if I don't. Whether he wants to be a fool and take her to the end is something to think about later. But right now my only shot is to make a deal with the devil.

"kinavatse"

- You know what the Redemption Island ftc was about a year ago and I think all the terrible jury speeches i'm gonna get are bc that anniversary is coming up!!! or maybe somehow amelia and mj will vote me and i can just campaign for sora. that'll be easier than campaigning for myself but either way i'm gonna try!!

whatever, none of them can be as bad as those ones were. thank god confessionals come out after so no one sees my master plan to idol myself out.... man that would've been hilarious.

ps happy birthday wes B)

"kinavatse"

- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS I won final immunity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seriously can't believe I actually did it, I mean this is a total shock for me as much as it is for pretty much everyone else. And now comes the hard part, in deciding who to take with me to the final 3. Theres no easy decision, and theres no easy person to take to the end. No one left is a goat, and no one left is an easy 3rd. MJ Amelia and Jessica all have pros and cons to taking and getting rid of them, and it all depends on whether or not this jury is voting personally or strategically. Amelia has to go if there voting based on gameplay, although if there voting personally she might be the perfect person to take to the end, seeing as she screwed over a lot of people. I totally thought MJ couldn't win either but now I have doubts in my mind about him also. Jessica is another one, I'd prefer to go to the end with her, but she did offer to go to jury and help me... so it's a big decision I can't take lightly. This is one shot to win it, my choice and my night.

Day 38
"kinavatse"

- rip in PIECES!!! well that didnt turn out at all the way i wanted or expected, so now i've had to spend my whole day trying to convince sora that he can beat me and talking about how great his game was compared to mine and it is just so much. ughhhh. i am working so hard @ this but i think i might have 2 resign myself to a tie, because sora's pretty convinced that i'm like a strategic mastermind (no comment) and that jess and i were not equal partners in our alliance (also no comment). also tbh i may be overdoing it a little but this is my last chance! this is the only card left and i'm gonna play it as best i can. *sigh* honestly i'm just about ready to turn on my ponderosa jam playlist and go fight eoin. this does not look good.

i dont have much else to say right now, but. if this is the last confessional that i make, if this is the end for me, please know that I PLAYED A FAIRLY GOOD GAME and learned a lot and i am proud of myself for that!!! and i hope that my survivor dads would be proud of me too that's all that matters. i hope these are not my last words but you know what, i had a lot of fun with this season and i have no regrets and at the very worst i get to party with sole in the 4th place club so. thats all i got to say right now. \m/ gonna go tell sora how much i suck again bye

"kinavatse"

- Ahhhh yay Sora for winning immunity!! I'm so happy that he managed to pull out that win!!! I had a "i'll sell vote and you vote me so it's a tie" plan going on but I realized that probably wouldn't have worked because he would have gone home on the revote. but who cares because it doesn't matter!! I don't care that I'm probably going to lose to him at FTC he 100% deserves to win (although I really did want to see a girl win just because the org has like no female winners which is really weird).

my goal is just to beat MJ honestly but if this jury is being a little too sassy then I will just yell at them. fuck it i don't care about winning!! i haven't cared about winning since i entered the game i just wanted to have fun and i did!

can't wait to see the final 3 be comprised of 3 people no one would put on their favourites lists for rome B) unless i have to do a tiebreaker bc my "get amelia and mj to split votes" plan doesn't work in which case ugh

so prepared to be the kaitlyn/jenn of the season i am loving it

"kinavatse"

- So with this great power of immunity, comes the great responsibility of deciding who to bring with me to the end. In my mind its a no brainer, bring MJ and Jess. I think Amelia has played a great game and I think she'd be the person to beat at the end. I feel so bad though because shes literally trying so hard to stay and shes making great points, which only makes me feel more uncomfortable with her at the end, she'd definitely be able to sway a jury. Although MJ doesn't even think so, and thinks Jessica is the biggest threat? Because she's done nothing so that means they'll vote her? I just don't get it. Even if Jess didn't idol me last round I wouldnt vote her unless I had to, her playing the idol on me didn't make me feel in-debt to her, just she can help me in the end game here. Let's pray for something to happen.

"kinavatse"

- this is it im done i have played this game for like 6 hours straight and i have to sleep and school so farewell beautiful world i have my jury questions planned out in my head already

Day 39
"kinavatse"

- I SURVIVED i am so proud of myself okay now i have to do so many words for ftc bye

"kinavatse"

- Oh my god, i made the final 3!!! I never ever thought I'd be able to get this far, all those days of struggling and strategizing are finally coming to an end. I'm so proud of myself for getting here however it sucks that I wasn't able to come here with the people I intended to.. MJ might have made a million dollar mistake thinking Amelia was less of a threat then Jessica but we'll see what happens. For awhile in this game, I counted myself out. I thought it didn't matter if I got to the end because I couldn't win, but sitting here in the final three today I realized I'm just as worthy as winning as not only the other two sitting next to me, but everyone else in this game as well. I can do this, I can really be the sole survivor. This is my time to shine and show everyone I played this game worth the title and I deserve it. I am the last of us in this game that I love, and am gonna fight like hell to win.

"kinavatse"

- Let me tell you a thing! So we're midway through FTC and this is LITERALLY the worst jury imaginable. It's full of people that sucked at the game, didn't care about the game, or are just really rude people in general that show no respect to anybody but expect it in return. Am I going to win? No. Do I think I should win? Nope. Do I think Sora should win? Absolutely FUCKING not. But at the moment, it looks like he will. Why? I have no fucking idea. Apparently the jury likes people who suck at the fucking game and didn't do anything. Who you vote for as a juror speaks more about you as a player than it does about the finalist. Voting for Sora shows that they have NO RESPECT AT ALL for this game. Survivor isn't about "I tried but I failed ;-;". It's about thriving and adapting, and apparently the jury finds it super fucking convenient to all of a sudden forget what makes somebody a winner. I didn't know that we're supposed to reward a failure for.....trying and failing. I thought the winner of SURVIVOR was supposed to be somebody that Outwits, Outplays, and Outlasts their competitors. At least that's the show I'm watching. The Survivor logo doesn't say "Outtry, Outfail, Outflop," so I'm assuming these jurors either don't watch survivor, can't read the logo, or are just plain dumb. Probably all 3 if you ask me. At the end of the day I can walk away from this knowing I played better than each and every single last one of them. And I'm so incredibly fucking happy none of them ever voted me out and that I played a part in putting each of them on the jury :-). Anyways, wake me up when this nightmare of the jury praising Sora is over tbh because Amelia deserves to win more than anybody else this season, and certainly more than "it didn't work out the way I wanted it to" flop Sora.