Board Thread:Season 23 - Greece/@comment-25624731-20150117073842/@comment-25567389-20150117083325

hi jessica! i know you didn't ask me any questions but i'm not just going to let that sit there, so :~) sorry if this is like 3 years long

it seems like you're saying that the reason people shouldn't vote for me (or for MJ i suppose) is that we had it easy, that we were in the majority alliance and we controlled everything so therefore we don't deserve to win. i fundamentally agree with this idea - being in a position of power doesn't mean you have any less strong of a game; in fact, i think it means the opposite. sure, sora's story may be compelling - he survived against all odds, rose from the ashes of the tumblr alliance's destruction, etc etc - but that doesn't mean that he had a better game than us. our power position was not something that just magically happened and that we didn't have to work at, or rather, that i didn't have to work at. i don't think you're really aware of how much i actually did in this game, despite and resulting in our "mega-alliance". it's fine for you to say that you didn't put effort into it, but saying that i put 50% into it? nah. i put 100% into this game from day one. and yeah, i had to hide that for a lot of the game because we were in a good position and i knew it would get nasty if we turned on each other, and frankly the atmosphere of not-trying in that alliance chat didn't exactly lend itself to high strategy. i wasn't going to be the one to be like "hey but for real, when are we going to stab each other in the backs and play to win?"

and yet, i worked hard as heck to get here. i didnt just accept the tumblr alliance, i didnt just let the idols and our friendships carry me along. i was constantly reevaluating my game and looking at my options and trying to figure out whether or not i should stick with what i had or break the mold and go with something else. this is what my social game was for, and this is why i created bonds with so many people - so i would have as many options as possible and pick the one that was best for me. and yeah, for a long time that was the tumblr alliance, but i don't think that it makes me a bad player for going with something where i was secure and had influence. and i definitely wasn't complacent, despite what you thought - despite what i had to make you think, because i wanted to make a move against the tumblr alliance from final 8. i wanted to change up the game, but i wasn't going to do that if it didn't benefit me, and so i waited. i don't know if you remember but i actually did talk to you several times about this, about loyalty and people flipping, because i wanted to flip with you seeing as you were my closest ally from day 1 and i was trying to gauge whether you would be up for it, at which point i would have been so on board. however i knew that if i said too much it would all fall apart and i would become the target and the blaspheme and the person who fucked everyone over far before it was ideal. so i waited and i kept reevaluating and strengthening my bonds with people because i worked my ass off socially every single day and when mj told me he wanted to flip i was so ready for it. and i agree with you, it may have been my dumbest move to alienate you and it was always my intention to work with you until the end, but if i had stuck with the tumblr alliance you'd just be saying the same thing wouldn't you? i still would be apparently ineligible to win because i was part of a complacent majority.

so, no. i worked really hard in this game, and i worked really hard at hiding how much i was doing from all of you in order to avoid being turned on, but i was one of the main reasons we were able to be so successful in our alliance. i was the one who talked to almost everybody and i was the one who made people feel like they were safe before we voted them out. and for that, i'm painted as the villain of the season. we all strategized together, but the social aspect of the game and specifically my contribution toward it was essential in allowing us to get so far and "have it so easy". i was close with jace, i was close with erica, i was close with missy and eoin, i had a strong bond with almost everyone on the jury and i used that to ensure that things worked out the way we wanted it to. please don't discount the importance of that in our success as an alliance.

as for your praise of sora - like i said, he has a more compelling story than MJ and i, and it's true that he had a tougher time making it to the end than we did. however, i would remind you that there was literally nothing that he did that directly led to him staying in this game; you know as well as i do that after our alliance had the majority we were kind of voting people out haphazardly and sora just happened to be at the bottom of our list. at least, i can't think of anything he did that was specifically a reason for us to keep him, except maybe being bad at challenges, which isn't that commendable. let me know if i missed anything though - you were apparently closer with him than i was.

sure, sora knew that there was a tumblr alliance and that we had control of the game. to our discredit, this wasn't a very difficult thing for him to figure out. and sure, he tried to take us down several times and it wasn't necessarily entirely his fault that it didn't work out. however - is the strategy of "i tried but failed" something that deserves a hypothetical million dollars? is a person who didn't manage to make any successful moves in this game someone who should be called a winner? i mean no disrespect to sora - he's a great guy and he played the game well, but i just don't think that this narrative is one that deserves so much praise. especially when compared to the other two people sitting next to him. there were reasons that his plans didn't work out and that he was never in control, and that wasn't just because our alliance had some crazy superpowers. you say he tried to get people on his side and did what kept himself safe, and that's true, but so did i, and if i had an extra advantage in being able to do that, that was because of the things i did to make my alliances so strong. so why is that wrong? why is that less impressive?

to be honest i don't mind if you disagree with how i played the game or with moves that i made, but i really don't like the insinuation that i didn't do anything or that i had this spot handed to me, when i know that i worked so hard to get here and i did so much so that i could stay in that power position and i put so much effort in playing the best game i could & the best game for me. and i don't think a person who tried but never succeeded should win over a person who built a strong social and strategic game that worked almost exactly the way they wanted it to.