Quite Tragic If You Ask Me/Confessionals

Day 25
"cuarcita"

- I can't believe that these clowns really tried to vote out my king, my angel, the LOVE of my life... Not gonna happen today y'all, not gonna happen today.

"cuarcita"

- ok the plan to get alex out.. all planned out and it worked. i don't know how successful it'll be in the sense that idk if it'll help me out THAT much in the long run.. but i'm glad i'm now able to say i helped to get rid of 3 idols in one tribal. yea

"cuarcita"

- i think ive officially reached my blissful place in this game. maybe that sounds weird but IDK! im just really comfortable now. the pre merge was hard cuz i went to so many tribals, and this early merge was legit HELLISH because my name was on people's lips every goddamn time and i was half convinced i was leaving every time, and i just had meltdown after meltdown. BUT, i have recovered now. i've rebuilt my bonds with so many people; andreas stopped targeting me cuz so many ppl said they didnt want to vote for me it seems. I've rebuilt trust with Andre, Torsa, Jayme, and Alex (BIG RIP UGH) and I'm strengthening my trust with Kat, Brian, and Matt. I feel like i'm building a strong web of connections after such a shaky start and its wild to me. it definitely boosts my confidence, im not getting cocky, but it feels nice to be like hey, maybe im not absolutely bombing rn. i still have yet to receive any votes and after the insanity of this last tribal i think my name is going to start to fade off of the target list.

also maybe this is sadistic or something but im just like, so happy ppl r rlly experiencing th egame now? SO many people have just glided thru this game. Andreas, Torsa, Andre, Jayme, even Alex. Love them to pieces, especially like Torsa Andre Jayme, but its sort of like...slightly gratifying? to just see them REALLY deal with a tribal where the shit hits the fan and they lose a close ally. like andre's name wasnt even out there and he's panicking. I LOVE HIM SM and i trust him but theres a part of me thats like...welcome to my world...do u understand why i did what i did now? the panic is unreal and it drives u crazy. and im just slightly relieved other ppl r feeling it now. Cuz legit this tribal had me the least concerned out of any tribal this season. Maybe its cuz i just thought i was done that i feel like i have nothing to lose, or maybe ive found a bunch of ppl i genuinely trust and i feel like im going to be able to do well in this game again. Whatever the reason, i do know that i have a lot more positive of an outlook on this game rn and im excited to keep playing and see what happens <3 and im grateful every minute to still be able to be out here playing

"cuarcita"

- So Alex left and the plan worked. OMFG like that was so stressful and I couldn't cope with it. I have definitely proved my loyalty to the 5 sugar cubs cause I actually kept it secret the whole time so yay go me for being loyal. I feel like some people (namely Su and Jerry) might have caught onto the fact that I was the 3rd vote for alex. That doesn't matter though cause I'm just going to vehemently deny that at all and say I voted Andreas and implicate jerry. Why jerry? Cause it makes the most sense realistically. He was the most hesitant to vote Andreas and said he wanted to work with Andreas. So like hello easy target. Su might be an issue but I'll soon my magic mist over him if I can. If not, I'll just remind Brian that 2 people who voted loris out are still in the game. Brian is convinced it was jerry which is FABBY news for me as it means I can continue to sort of coast my way through this early merge. I feel like I'm playing a really good game atm cause I have two massive targets ahead of me (Jayme and Andreas) who people will want to take a shot at first. 6 is needed for a majority now and I think we can get a 6 now to control this game. With only 3 advantages left and only the merge idol still around, last night's play got rid of a lot of uncertainty and I feel like we can really move forward and benefit. I'm trying to plan long term and short term, so we shall see how this like works cause I need to be as flexible as an Olympic gymnast to get through these next few rounds.

"cuarcita"

- WOW! That tribal council was crazy. As I had been told by Jayme, and then Jerry in the later hours of tribal planning I received the majority of the votes. Luckily I played my idol and managed to avoid the 6 votes on me that would have otherwise sent me home. In my idol play speech I told Brian he was in trouble, and got him to waste his Galeras idol when he was safe. The plan worked, and Alex went home with the votes of Elizabeth, Matt, and myself. It is assumed that Alex went home with the Sotara idol on him which is WILD !! Three idols gone in one night. This may sound petty, but if I had to lose my idol, so did they. Now I am onto damage control. I learned from BAR HvV that just playing an idol doesn't save you moving forward, so I am for certain going to try build some strong relationships. I think I can salvage things here.

"cuarcita"

- One thing that worried me after the idol play, were Alex's final words. Alex said to me that i shouldn't gloat. I genuinely didn't think I came off as gloating. All I did was post a Wendy Williams gif...... that worries me for potential jury management.

"cuarcita"

- So right before the vote, Jerry came to me and told me the truth about the vote. I lied to him and told him that I didn't know. He tried to 'flip' the vote but had no luck. He told me that Alex hoped Elizabeth would dig her own grave after I left. Obviously lying to Jerry is something I question at this point in the game. I think it may have burned trust with him, but I couldn't risk my plan being ruined at the last second. I know that at this point I need him, he is such a loyal guy. So I told him that Matt was the 3rd vote for Alex. He said he assumed as much, but I couldn't let Brian run around and just assume that he can throw Jerry's name under the bus easily. I will not allow it.

"cuarcita"

- A huge part of my game this time around is doing damage control. So I will give a quick summary of how that is going for each person.

Kat - I lied to her about voting her, she voted me. We both consider it old news. Neither of us wanted it. We agree that we don't like having our names thrown out while others get an easy ride.

Jerry - see previous conf.

Brian - Brian is a sticky one. Because of me, he is now without an idol and without an ally in Alex. His parchment also said he doesn't see a future with me in his game. I questioned him on this because the reality is I didn't feel that way. I thought things were jiving somewhat well. He said he didn't see us on the same page and pretty much I told him that I am sorry he felt that way but that's not how I felt. He also said Elizabeth doesn't talk to him enough ?

Su - Su essentially came to me and said that he has heard that I have thrown out his name - which let's be honest YES I have done that. BUT, I only did it as I under the impression he was targeting Elizabeth pre-merge with giving Matt that mutiny pass. That's some scary shit. He denied all of this and said the only reason he voted me was because he had heard I was throwing his name out. Obviously these people have loose lips.

Andre - I sent home his partner with an idol in pocket. He has every right to be mad. But the way he said he sees it, which I am not sure if I buy, is that he voted me and I voted his partner and I made the better play. I mean - yes, BUT If someone did that to Elizabeth you know I would be the most heated....so hopefully it doesn't escalate to much. I said to him I think it would be better for us to work together than against. He agreed. Hopefully it works out for us.

"cuarcita"

- Elizabeth drops a BOMB on me. The merge idol was in D10 and it's been found. For about 16 hours I thought we had no idols left in the game, and now here we are..... quite tragic if you ask me. I guess I have hope that Alex also found that and home with it, but who knows. The next more-important thing is to try to figure out where all these advantages have been hidden. Obviously 3/5 are accounted for in 1)The Mutiny pass, 2)The Unveil Token, & 3) The Black heart. That leaves 2 which could honestly be anywhere. At this point I plan on just guessing in spots I know haven't been searched yet to determine what these advantages could be. Hopefully I can snag something

"cuarcita"

- One thing I have been thinking about all day is the Blood Pendant. Right now, the only thing standing between Elizabeth and I getting that advantage is Jayme & Torsa. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted to try to blindside them and get the advantage. But they are loyal people, and they've been nothing but kind to me. Quite frankly, at this point I think my best case scenario would be somehow Torsa gets blindsided at the next two tribals. Then Elizabeth and I would get that immunity. But as of right now it is not my goal. I hope everything works out well for me.

"cuarcita"

- So Alex left and the plan worked. OMFG like that was so stressful and I couldn't cope with it. I have definitely proved my loyalty to the 5 sugar cubs cause I actually kept it secret the whole time so yay go me for being loyal. I feel like some people (namely Su and Jerry) might have caught onto the fact that I was the 3rd vote for alex. That doesn't matter though cause I'm just going to vehemently deny that at all and say I voted Andreas and implicate jerry. Why jerry? Cause it makes the most sense realistically. He was the most hesitant to vote Andreas and said he wanted to work with Andreas. So like hello easy target. Su might be an issue but I'll soon my magic mist over him if I can. If not, I'll just remind Brian that 2 people who voted loris out are still in the game. Brian is convinced it was jerry which is FABBY news for me as it means I can continue to sort of coast my way through this early merge. I feel like I'm playing a really good game atm cause I have two massive targets ahead of me (Jayme and Andreas) who people will want to take a shot at first. 6 is needed for a majority now and I think we can get a 6 now to control this game. With only 3 advantages left and only the merge idol still around, last night's play got rid of a lot of uncertainty and I feel like we can really move forward and benefit. I'm trying to plan long term and short term, so we shall see how this like works cause I need to be as flexible as an Olympic gymnast to get through these next few rounds.

"cuarcita"

- This has been the roughest two days I think I've ever had to experience in an org. I've never been called out like that before, it was a different experience for me. But what was amazing about it, was that it was in the most unique situation.... cause I did tell Andreas he was being targeted because I did feel like he should know and if he stayed, that's an ally for me. But on the same token, if he goes to jury than that was maybe a vote for me. However, I know I wasn't the only one based on intuition. Matt is trying to set me up as the third vote when he is trying to play everyone at the same time. Its a bold move, but also very sloppy in my opinion. He's really banking on everyone being good with him and some of them are honestly figuring it out.

Its amazing that for the first time in my org career that me underlining votes can serve a meaning. I've always done this as like a calling card but I usually don't tell anyone in case of need. And I need... I'm hoping it can work out for me. But apparently Matt is trying to claim that also xD I'm gonna get this fucker. He's playing way too hard and I'm not a fan of that type of dumb gameplay. It may take me out of this game, but I'm gonna go down swinging. No if ands or buts, I'm gonna get this done. I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter. Always will be. I've been fighting since day 1, and I'm not stopping today. Just have to fight a little bit harder. I have faith.

But truthfully, Brian actually came and apologized to me this morning. I WAS SHOCKED. I was planning on talking to him anyway but never imagined he would come to me first. And he talked about how he was being a hot head and acted emotionally. Ya know, good for him! Whether he meant it or not idk, not gonna care for now. But he did say he realized that it was Matt. I'm gonna bury this guy.... the only person I trust fully is Andre. I literally told Andreas he was being voted and this dude didn't tell me about this plan he had. To me, that shows he doesn't trust me as much as others and that's fine. But I literally was putting part of my game on the line and you didn't care. I don't mind not knowing about the idol because I wouldn't tell a soul if I found one. Its just beyond that when I was trying really hard to save him, he acted some type of way. Just rubbed me the wrong way. Andre has been the most honest with me and I am planning to take that to the end. Him and Kat are right now my ideal final 3 scenario. I just need to get them to trust each other. I'm gonna make it happen.

"cuarcita"

- I ALSO FOUND THE DAMN IDOL SPOT BUT ITS GONE AHHHHH

"cuarcita"

- I'm SOOO ANGRY at Jerry! I cannot believe he really did all that to Alex... like what the fuck! GOODBYEE!!!! Het men... hmph.....

Seriously... I actually don't know what's going on, though! I assume it was Jerry getting the tea on the vote and spilling it to Andreas and Elizabeth and them going together because I know people told Jerry... but I also....

Something in my little gay mind tells me something more than that is up! I'm still annoyed at Andreas for being a gloaty little piggie, and Jerry's still... bland! But Torsa literally could not have given 2 fucks about Alex going.... and Jayme was just not too caring either? It was very, very odd... and the names being thrown into the mix about the Alex vote are Matt or Jerry, so I kinda... I don't wanna think that Matt did anything, but I wanna think Matt might've done something so I don't look like a fool at the end of the season.

"cuarcita"

- I CANNOT believe all this tea Andre is spilling to me.

He basically wrote down a list of reasons why he didn't trust me at some point or another (with the main reason being that I might've had a 3 person with Matt and Alex that no one told him about, which was untrue), and why he now knows I'm the only true hunty he's been aligned with up until this point! So cute!

He also exposed all the facts about the Monkeys and how fake they all are! Torsa and Jayme wanted to eliminate Kat or Su, and because Alex and I were very anti-that.... they decided to get their little puppet boy Matt to flip on the vote and get it to be 3 for Alex! I'm SO angry! These people fucking suck, and I'm so hurt by what Matt did (oh, yeah! he told people about my idol before I got the chance to, haha!!)... it would've been different if he let me in on it or told me even kinda afterwards, but he didn't, and I'm so fucking pissed. I don't even need confirmation from him to know this is the tea, what Andre is saying must be the tea. He's also gotten those same weird vibes from Jayme/Torsa about Alex going... and that was HIS partner, like... could you hide it a little better???? LMFAO...

I can't believe how fake all my allies were... like I know they're scared of me because I'm willing to put in effort with people socially that aren't exactly.... the best... but... I love Kat and Su, and I'm not sorry about it. I'm really upset right now, but I know I'll get over it. I'm also ready to confront Matthew. He did more than just hurt me on a game level... ugh... THESE GAMES, man...

"cuarcita"

- OK, so I had my call with Matt, and I am happy to say... I'm amazing at this game!

Just kidding kjHFSA... I'm alright, but I at least know my intuition is 100% working. I'm not stupid, and clearly Andre isn't either because we both caught onto the act our ""allies"" were putting up.

I first asked Matt (very aggressively, oops) if he was the Alex vote, to which he denied... twice... and then I went on about how I wasn't even sure if he was lying anymore because I KNEW he had told Jayme (who told Andre) about my idol. I chose to hold that information from Jayme for some time just because I had to build my own trust with him, but Matt didn't even have a reply other than that he thought we were together. Well, YA, DUMDUM! Of course we were working together, but that doesn't mean I have to tell him everything. Hets...

Then after grilling him for 5-10 minutes about how sad I was and his constant, ""I don't know what to say!!!!!!!!1!,"" he decided to spill the beans to me! We love being a cute gay with the right connections.

He admitted to being the Alex vote. He admitted that he was the one that voted with Alex because Torsa and Jayme basically wanted to ensure that I would go for Su or Kat next round because I would have no other choice. And he thought this was a nice way at both revenge and also playing into a big master plan he has.

He also had told me, although I'm not sure if this was before or after, that he had the merge idol, and his move last round effectively took 3 idols out of the mix. He said he wished he had warned me, but in the same breath, he said he saw the stress it was causing me... and I just smiled through the pain of not only my .... ex-closest ally saying this, but also one of my closest friends basically telling me that he had lied to my face and the only reason he was coming clean now was because he felt bad because ""he couldn't really lie to me."" Girl...

I love Matt so much. Don't get me wrong, but... what he did to me was very dirty.... we could've held so much more power in this game had he warned me, but... here we are now. It was a good move on .... idk!

I actually don't want to justify this move for Torsa or Jayme or Matt or Andreas or Elizabeth or anyone anymore because it just... is weird to me! Congrats on getting all the premerge idols out of the way, but also congrats on blowing up each of your games! Jerry got the blame for what Matt did, and he's not happy about me calling him out still, but ... I apologized so hopefully he understands where I was coming from and why he was an easy person to pick out.... But then the focus has no switched back to Matt doing the vote and it's really.. back and forth!

Torsa and Jayme, and Andreas and Liz have made so many enemies out of this... namely the first 3.... but Liz is there, too! Andreas has been very like... ""Oopsie, hehe!"" about the whole vote... and it ain't cute! Torsa and Jayme are being so obvious about being in the know about the last tribal, too, and I'm kinda just.... they're all cancelled! Matt has this plan he wants to pull off by playing into the games of the duos, but I'm really not here for it!! I'm no follower at all... and I'm not about to follow them all into battle. I will figure out my own path there, and if I end up following along with this plan Matt has, well then he better truly have my back from here on out, because I'm ready to expose whenever I feel like it.

He gave me a lot of ammo to work with (as did Andre earlier today) and they better watch out because I'm a bitch with guns blazing, and I will not go down before a nice, big shootout!

Fuck everyone. Truly, honestly. You're all dead to me, now. I don't care how fucked I look, I have to keep fighting.

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 25 confessional - heh idol is mine heh

To add to this, I told Brian I voted Alex. Why? Cause I feel like I wanted to clear the air with him. He basically confronted me on all about what went down and I could like couldn't bring myself to lie to him. Call it weak willed, bad gameplay idc. Like I'm not heartless. Plus I needed to like make sure we were still good so that we can make moves against the bigger players in all honesty. Will this backfire on me? Most likely. Do I care? Nah. May as well bring out the crackhead in me and just go full ham.

Day 26
"cuarcita"

- WELL!! I'm not winning immunity, so I'm hoping I don't need it! I just don't really have the time for it kdjahds... with work and train and seeing my friend and Zack tomorrow... it's just not looking like a great timed thing for me! Oopsie...

I, uh... hope... I can just be social enough tomorrow to get everyone to be like, ""Brian loves me ugh! King!"" In reality, they can all still fucking choking.

Also, I promised a long ass thoughts about each person thing if I survive, and I plan to keep that being the tea.

"cuarcita"

- I didn't do as well in the immunity challenge as I wanted but Andreas is still going so I'm happy about that. I hope he can pull out another win! I'm feeling SUPER nervous right now though. I'm scared that everyone who tried to vote out Andreas last round will either come for him again or try and take me out in retaliation. Here's hoping that I can survive another round.

"cuarcita"

- after the crazy tribal last round i'm glad we got a break,, lowkey wish it was longer but it's fine

"cuarcita"

- Honestly, I think I have been looking at this game all wrong. I think my biggest play needs to be the most flexible player. Everyone is probably talking whatever about me and that's fine, I don't care. But for me, I think I need to be willing to cut anyone that needs to happen. I'm gonna probably only stick my neck out for one or two people. Beyond that I need to start dwindling the numbers and making myself seem like a flexible player. It seems to me, that a lot of people are playing a rather messy game. I don't completely think I've played a aggressive or passive as of now. I've not really been in a position where I can make some calls but kinda observe each side of it and make my own decision. I don't have the capital that allows anyone to basically listen to me. And I'm okay with that. I'm banking on a big chunk of these people to get bright eyed and bushy tailed, and immediately go after the "bIg tHrEaTs" while I am able to just take out the ones I feel necessary. The order is not something that I care too much about. People stress too much about taking people out in a specific order but I don't think it should matter. You can't take too long for some, of course, but at the same time you don't have to always immediately. Its all about timing and that's what I'm gonna base my game on. The callout is over and done with. I think I have gained some ground back but its not over until I see the votes of me staying. Its amazing to me that these people like shit talked me in Touchy Subjects and even behind my back, to apparently getting so mad at me over a vote I did not make? Its odd...org people are odd.

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 26 - I am so angry

"cuarcita"

- So in the past 24 hours there have been SO many public fights. Last night Kat, Jayme, and Torsa got into it and today Kat and Brian came for Andreas and called him out for being a "liar". The worst part of all of this is that I think the goal of attacking Andreas' charecter was to create a device between the two pairs left. Since he has immunity, that could mean they were trying to swing the vote on me by cause distrust and drama. I'm honestly gonna be so sad if I go home tonight :(

Day 27
"cuarcita"

- I won immunity !!!!!!! I’m so happy!! Final 9 baby wooo

So it seems Matt has ratted Jayme and Torsa out to Brian who is now on a witch-hunt for them...... and everyone wants to give me and Elizabeth the blood pendant ?? I’m so shook. I mean I don’t want Jayme or Torsa to go BUT i do think the 2 rounds of immunity could benefit my game for sure.

"cuarcita"

- well its HAPPENING MOM! EVERYONES GOING WILD AND IM SO HERE FOR IT OMGGGGGGG

so i keep cycling thru like, thinking my game is trash and im dying, and then being high on life. RN IM HIGH ON LIFE!

kat and jayme had a big fight in the tribal chat, and now torsa is getting exposed for knowing about that Alex was going and people are just CLASHING AND ITS SO GRATIFYING LOWKEY?

i feel SO bad for them because they are all experiencing pain and sadness rn. the person inside of me is like OMG IM SO SORRY to all of them, and i keep saying too much prolly LMFAO to comfort them cuz i feel bad they're all feeling so bad

but once again, on a game level, its just slightly gratifying for role reversals, for me to be the one chilling and others to be the ones screaming and panicking and melting down. Like torsa is telling me things i told her after the rob vote, like ""i deserve it"" and everything. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. but the wicked part of me is like...karma. everything comes full circle. that sounds SO mean tho im sry. its just impossible to ignore the feeling of vindication as this happening, with all of these ppl who have been chilling all game continuing to blow up even more and making a way for me to make it thru probably.

i feel like i have a workable relationship with everyone. the ppl i trust least are andreas/liz, but andreas is immune and i dont knwo if i want liz gone yet, so im prolly not going to go for them. At the moment it looks like Jayme and Torsa's games are ABSOLUTELY blowing up in their faces but i dont think they're screwed over either.

the sucky thing is that im going to be super busy tomorrow, i will be able to be on barely at all, so im not gonna be able to scheme a ton. i dont think im gonna be on the radar much but u never know, maybe me comforting torsa is going to piss ppl off LMFAO we will see. i just hope things fall together and i dont have to freak out too much and everything.

but ya, i do feel like im recovering in this game. I trust everyone and its a PROBLEM but i do feel like kat and brian truly have me in their best intentions and have for the whole merge. Matt is alright too, i do trust him but i feel like he is VERY loose lipped so i dont trust him as much. everyone else is just starting to truly trust me or come to me because they need me now, and while thats really nice to have ppl trusting me, i also have to realize that they just want my vote and that i do need to stick with the ppl ive been with this whole game. so yaaaaaa let's hope i can continue going off!

watch me go home this episode LMFAOOOO id die

"cuarcita"

- i have absolutely no regrets about taking alex out btw it was the best move i did :P if i go home this round idc i did my best and im not gonna give up without a fight su is right

"cuarcita"

- Last night was......a lot. But! Now that I've woken up and have considerably improved.....not. I mean, I'm feeling a bit better and a bit more confident but in all honesty I'm still rather annoyed with Matt and Kat.

Matt, I get it--Brian confronted him on call (which is kinda irritating itself), and he felt like he needed to tell the truth because it was a shitty situation. I get it. The issue is not telling Torsa or I for almost 24 hours when we were trying to still do damage control for him. The issue is him telling Andre that the Alex vote was MY idea (which it was, but still...) and then insisting that he wasn't throwing us under the bus even though we made it clear that we didn't want him to do anything he was uncomfortable with. Yet, that was Matt's whole game--tell everything to everyone and ride the middle as hard as he can. And now he's still doing it, but he's pretending as if he wasn't. It's rather annoying to watch.

And then Kat--I'm so sick of her ""Oh I clearly have no interest in working with you, but you guys writing my name down implies that you hate me because i left you on read when i was having a bad day :(("" narrative. She's playing victim when she was the one who was in on a plan to blindside me--of COURSE I'm going to write her name down in case of an idol play. Her logic is flawed, and it is so irritating to play with. I probably should have just not blown up, especially because literally no one trusts me now sans Torsa, Elizabeth, and Andreas....and Andrelizabeth can easily use this to just get the pendant themselves now. I hope they wouldn't, bc Andrelizabeth would have left if not for us last tribal, and I really do wanna work with them longterm, despite Torsa wanting that orb pendant.

Not mentioned earlier was Brian--I literally dislike how he clearly had informed both Matt and Andre separately that he only trusted Matt, Alex, Andre and wanted to ride our alliance to final 9 before having fun with it--a clear inference of targeting me or Torsa. Now, because we made the preemptive strike, he's claiming that no one likes him. Like. I just hate how people are throwing all these pity parties for themselves--and honestly? Just bc I'm annoyed, I'm doing it RIGHT back to them. If these ppl wanna try and play like that then i can do it too, I've learned from the best xoxo.

For this tribal, I'm honestly just going to keep my head down for the rest of it and probably just try to get all the votes on Kat. My preferred boot order is honestly Kat --> Brian --> Jerry --> tbd, because I do think that at the rate we're going our F3 will be Kat, Jerry, and Elizabeth and as much as I adore Elizabeth, it'd...not be the most appealing group to see from a game standpoint. So, I want to cut the individual who is playing up the ""I'm a goat--don't vote me out!"" card, because if she make sit any further, no one will ever wanna take a shot on her, and I don't fuck w it. I feel as if my time in this game is coming to a close, either this vote or the next, with how nobody trusts me at all anymore, but...I'm going to just keep on rolling. I got no choice. I'm really happy for Torsa, though--I honestly think she's in a wonderful position on this tribe and if I do go I know she'll still do well<3

"cuarcita"

- A lot has happening. I had a fight with Jayme, but it was actually on purpose. I wanted to see if Andreas would go after Jayme / Torsa for the pendant. I knew if I had a big blow up that people would try to use that to leverage the pendant with me. Because I am the only one in the game that has a true reason to not trust someone. Andreas has lied and manipulated me in the past so I dont actually want him to have the power. I went to him and said that if I got the votes for jayme / torsa would he be down for that. He said that it would be an easy vote and would be nice for once. I knew I was at the bottom and I wanted to get the attention on be but off of me at the same time you know? The more crazy I am, the less of a reserved game I have to play. I dont want Andreas in the game and I actually don't care if Jayme / Torsa are in the game either. Then Brian asked me if I could expose what Andreas said I said sure. I was hoping he'd be private but he did it in the public chat. I might be the next to go but at least everything is in the open and it's more fun this way. Survivor isn't fun without a little bit of sass xoxoxo

"cuarcita"

- https://vocaroo.com/i/s0AMqhqaBp3w

"cuarcita"

- still hate these ppl. Kat's messy ass literally exposing everything anyone says to her and is trying to so clearly pit ppl against one another and it is SO frustrating. What's more frustrating? The fact that Brian wants to keep her so badly bc they are SO clearly working together. And what's even more frustrating? He's trying to guilt trip me and Matt for not thinking it's best to keep such an unhinged wildcard in the game. He keeps talking abt how we "overplayed" to get Alex out and kat still being in the game rn is our fault, which it is, but it's such a gross look bc it just paints Brian in SUCH a negative light in my eyes. Like, the whole guilt-tripping and just being overall rude about someone's differing opinion with regards to the game is infuriating to play with, and it just ensures that if he somehow makes FTC he'd never get my vote bc i don't respect that kinda gameplay. Like, I'm almost 99% positive he's now trying to gather votes to take one of me, matt, or torsa out but w/e. He'd probably be able to do it, but I'm just gonna continue trying to cultivate my relationships w Andrelizabeth and Su/Jerry as best I can rn ;;; He better stop being like this soon though bc rn he's only making me more and more sure i want him gone next

"cuarcita"

- honestly dont know whats happening this vote. seems kat is probably gonna get ganged up on at the last second but everyone is having meltdowns and freaking out while im just sitting here, chill, thankful to still be in this game and shook by how wild everyone is getting LMAO

so idk what im gonna do. i have to leave for a party ASAP and i dont have a solid name yet, so ill probably just end up throwing my vote cuz i dont think i can vote kat, she's been a sweetheart to me and i love her sm

IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT but i promise ill go more in depth when i can later, just...im not involved in this vote cuz ive been busy and theres not much to say anyway. ill fill yall in later luv u

"cuarcita"

- this tribal period has been honestly too much. i feel emotionally manipulated by brian, lied too by kat, not even worth talking too by jerry, thrown utb by andre as well. and writing that makes me realise that su is flying utr again, just like in timbuktu. i see you. no one can fool me. o wow this really sounds like a villain monologue huh love that for meeee. im just not here for people who clearly dont seem to want play with me/care for me so like whats the point lmao. bye boos.

"cuarcita"

- This tribal is going to be so bad because I'm surely going to have a rough ass time accepting the death of probably Kat, but I'm going to try and push a Jerry or Andreas/Liz agenda on them! I have no problem fighting these hoes to save my side hoes. Kat and Su are amazing allies and so fun to talk to, and I just would rather not lose any of them. And still... like... fucking Jayme and Torsa had their chance to get rid of Kat last round, and instead they plotted with Matt to get rid of Alex. How was that a good choice? They're so annoying and so dumb, and I'm over my allies kJFHAS... I love them as people, know that, but they literally can't complain that Kat is going to slip by if they're the ones that allowed her to.

"cuarcita"

- OK, so it's like... not too long before tribal! And it's feeling like everyone is on board to vote Kat at this point, and I'm just so depressed... I love her so much, and for her to go? I'm going to die next.

Also, I called out Andreas publicly. He's been a complete asswad since he played an idol correctly, and now that he has immunity... like I get it! He feels safe! But this won't last for the next 6/7 rounds of the game! So like I fucking hope he knows that he needs to not be cocky and actually garner some support from the people in this game. He may thinks he has it, but I don't think that's the tea! His time is definitely on a limit, but I think it'll be me or him in the coming round! I don't know who he'd be after, but he would need numbers on his side, so I assume someone would tell me? Like.. ya! I just know he'd need one of Matt, Su, and Andre on his side, and I don't doubt they would tell me what's going on!

I'm really sad having to let Kat go, but it's kill or be killed... and so even though she's been feeding me info this entire round... I have to vote her out. I feel bad... but there's nothing I can do.

"cuarcita"

- help im so nervous i might actually throw up omfg help