I Refuse To Pussy Out/Confessionals

Day 28
"zahra"

- See ya Zak! Honestly this dude annoyed the shit out of me during the swap and he tried to blindside me in the merge. Aside from Whitney, who doesn't really count, I'm surrounded by people that want to work with me. Now that Zak's in the jury, Aras, Anna and Brett are all jury threats that are going to be so easy to hide behind. I've got all the cards. Between the connections I have with everyone and the idol, I'm deciding who's going to make Final 4.

Day 29
"zahra"

- Whitney winning can be good. If I stay close to her, and if she continue her run, I can go to the F2 with her and win.

"zahra"

- So at first when I saw the immunity challenge I was gutted - my first thought was "oh they'll just rig it against me so I predict the majority wrong" e.g. they'll vote Brett biggest physical threat. But actually it could be PERFECT - what a way to show tribal devisions loud and clear! When "1. Who is the most strategic person in the game?" comes out as Will, what an opportunity for me to be like WILL BIGGEST THREAT GET HIM OUT. So although realistically this is probs the end for me, it could cause a serious aftershock to the tribe dynamics.

Day 30
"zahra"

- I guess it’s time to say goodbye (finally!). There isn’t one person in my tribe who’s even remotely aligned with me, and even though Will Anna and Aras are all “ooh, let’s vote Brett he’s a social threat” the likelihood of that happening is very unlikely lol. The immunity challenge was very telling (being voted the most for all the “villain’s” questions…iconic much ngl) and at this point there really is no hope except they see me as so unstrategic they take me to the end. FOR THE RECORD I’m pretty sure I have the 2 jury votes at the moment, but that will mean nothing after tonight. Bye, thanks for the game!!

"zahra"

- Well it was 100% supposed to be me. I really thought with all the idol paranoia and whatnot being spread around that I was going to be a for sure goner and they were having me vote for Zakriah on the off-chance that I had a hidden immunity idol. Cue my eye roll. I hate immunity idols! The level of unnecessary paranoia that they bring is absurd! After surviving the vote, Whitney congratulated me on having a good social game and I thanked everyone that voted to keep me. After narrowly losing the flag challenge to Whitney, I would have been so disappointed to go out 8th Place.

The Reward challenge drops and it's a dice roll logic game! It's a little more fun than the previous games we've played, but I still thing Ragdoll Avalanche and GeoGuessr are my favorites this season (I think the latter is technically not a flash game). I finished 2nd to last (I'm never quite last place in these) and SURPRISE! Whitney wins again! And as usual, it's not even close. She then takes herself to the bazaar and buys herself a challenge advantage.

The real kicker is that immunity is NOT a flash game! It's Touchy Subjects! I had to do everything in my power to make sure Whitney did not win. I placed 3rd in the end and racked up a couple super sweet superlatives like "Person you'd most like to see win," "Best looking," "Person you'd most like to meet in real life," and "Player most likely to succeed on the actual show, Survivor." Usually, winning these sorts of superlatives is bad, but Aras racked up "Biggest Jury Threat" and Will racked up "Most Strategic" and he and Tate both tied with me for "Person you'd most like to see win," so the love was spread around. Whitney, even with a challenge advantage, ended up finishing in last place--and if this isn't indicative of her lack of social awareness, nothing will convince people otherwise. She had the wherewithal to know she'd be all the negative things, but because she spurned actually getting to know people by being a psycho loser, she didn't know who to put for the more flattering categories; she knew how we all felt about her, but not how we all felt about one another. She bombed SO hard. And if she doesn't realize that her biggest flaw in the game lost her this challenge, she's not going to get better. She's just not. The VL might love her for her moxie and beast-like presence, but for everyone else here, she was insufferable and no one wanted to work with her. I was willing to sink my own game instead of working with her.

Anyway, I'm told by Will that Aras is voting for me because he's worried about Whitney's fictional possession of an idol. I spent the afternoon telling everyone I was voting for Whitney because I REFUSE to pussy out just because I might get idoled out. I know it's not particularly smart, but I had one goal at merge--eliminate Whitney. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of dividing us and I sincerely hoped no one else would take her bait. Aras can do whatever he wants, but I'll certainly remember it. I'm the most expendable person after Whitney and I'm confirmed to have no advantages or anything, so it's open season on me if people so choose to be like that. I'm not that guy.

I had a small heart-to-heart with Whitney before tribal council. However misguided and terrible she is, she's not beyond redemption. I feel like she can grow up and learn to calm down and not be so dramatic that she might actually have a shot at winning a game like this in another season.