Board Thread:Season 48 - Sinai/@comment-32540642-20180809205422/@comment-35779793-20180810001102

Intro
Hey Jack, I had a feeeeeeeling this was coming. Firstly thank you for you compliments about my game. Thank you also for your criticisms, I’m glad I have a chance to address them here.

I’m really torn up after hearing your speech and I really don’t know how to respond to it (update: it’s taken me 3 hours to string this together lmfao) but I’m really, genuinely, sorry for everything that I have done to hurt you in the game and at final tribal council because I could really tell you were upset about it and if it wasn’t midnight I would make a video response so you could see my actual emotion rn too. This is 100% the most emotional I’ve been in this game and I’m literally shaking writing this response. It was never my intention to airbrush you from my game in my speech, all I wanted to do was to showcase my own game in the best light. You were one of my closest allies and I never doubted your trust. We became friends throughout the game and I spoke to you a lot and we became really close and it was amazing playing the game with you and I feel so bad for hurting you and IM SORRY I didn’t appreciate you more for that in my speech, it just seemed obvious to talk about Marc and Morena more when they were there with me, so that was a mistake.

You mentioned in your speech about how you were the only person with me the whole time, rather than Marc and Morena. And it is true that I had just as much trust in you as I did in them, because you were always a loyal ally. The key difference between my thoughts towards you and towards Marc and Morena though, is that I did not want you sitting next to me at final tribal council. I thought you would also not want me sitting next you at final tribal council because you’re a worthy competitor and I knew that, so if I unnecessarily acted preemptively to get you out then I’m sorry. But I’m telling you now, there was no way I was going to be sitting next to you at final tribal council, because that would have given me too strong of an opponent to beat. I'll explain why I did what I did when I explain Spencer's idol play.

Byron’s Vote Out
I did not mean to at any stage taken credit for Byron’s vote out, but I can see why my small paragraph on it was misleading. You were in the middle of that vote for sure, with all the necessary pieces of information to do what you wanted - my game was in your hands! What I will say, however, is that Marc and Morena had a level of loyalty to me that was above what they had to you - when I say we were literally devoted to going to final 3 since the beginning, I’m not joking. Whilst you were telling us in the ‘men’ alliance chat about voting out Byron, me and Marc were having our own separate conversation about whether we could trust you. In fact, I had to actually help Marc to trust you at this point in the game:

Marc

Byron says he's voting Julia but I don't trust him, plus I think Jack is taking part of the conspiracy

11 JULY 19:37

Will

I trust jack

Marc

Ok me too

Let’s vote

Again, I don’t think, nor have I ever thought, this move was “my move.” However, I had been wanting to vote Byron out for multiple rounds, as is shown by how I had actively asked people to send me to the temple instead of him, because I didn’t trust him, so I could execute my own agenda with Spencer. Ultimately my plan, as I tried to show with my application, was for me to play an “open and friendly pre-merge.” I’m sorry if it came off as though I was trying to totally claim this move, I wasn’t, it was thanks to you and our close relationship that I was stopped from being out of the dark here!

My relationship with Julia
Again, I do not think I ever claimed to have a close relationship with Julia. In my speech I said i barely spoke to her. I am fully aware it was you in the middle of us keeping us at bay. But my speech was written with the aim to highlight my own strengths, not that of the jurors, which I now realise was a mistake given your impact on my game. This: “Even after I told Julia I was voting her out, she ended up giving me an idol half” was in reference to my relationship with you, not her. I know our relationship wasn’t great lmao!

Spencer’s idol play
What I did not do - Again, I want to stress, I did not find or make Spencer play his idol, all I did was talk to him about it, reassure him (which he already knew) the votes were on him and find out who he was planning to target.
 * Find the idol
 * Play or coerce Spencer into playing the idol, that was completely him.
 * Get you or Julia to vote Spencer
 * Get Nicole or Spencer to vote you

What I did do -
 * Be the only one to find out that Spencer had and was playing the idol.
 * Find out that Spencer and Nicole were gunning for Jack and not try and stop it.
 * Get Marc and Morena to vote Spencer.
 * Knowingly vote in the majority (I literally said to Spencer before the deadline “obviously I'll pretend completely shocked when you play it so no one knows we're close” which goes under the assumption that to be shocked, you have to have not voted that person LMAO)

Here are the conversations I had with Marc and Morena which show I had control over whether Marc and Morena voted Spencer or Jack:

21 JULY 11:04

Will

I think that jack should go next tbh... he seems like a massive threat 😮

Marc Oriol

wow

pretty risky move

Will

a lot of people are thinking it

morena and Nicole think that

who do you think should go next?

he's so close with Julia and then AJ, who we have like little control over... that scares me, could be a 3 like ours

Marc Oriol

I don't care as long as it's not any of us, sooner or later everyone needs to go, who's first, I don't care

Will

I agree

Marc Oriol

but if you think Jack needs to go then let's go for it

(Sidenote: this perhaps shows that yes, Marc was going to listen to me and vote you out if I had wanted to do 5-3 on you)

23 JULY 00:55

Morena Coloso

WILL, any changes

Will

no not yet!

Morena Coloso

oh, il wait for u then il vote

Morena Coloso

before u go to sleep let me know 😍😍😍😍

Will

Let’s do spencer

Morena Coloso

ok

why

?

23 JULY 04:03

Morena Coloso

i voted spencer,even i dont know why

I hope these two convos show how much I could influence their actions.

Why I did it -

Okay so this is probably what you are interested in so I will try and explain it as well as possible. When Spencer told me he was playing an idol, and voting you, I saw no reason to do anything to stop it. It saddened me because I was losing a loyal, kind and trustworthy ally, but I could get a threat out of the game whilst voting in the majority, meaning I could stay in favour with everyone. I was still in with Nicole and Spencer because I knew about that plan, but then I was also in with AJ, Julia, Marc and Morena because it looked like I was on their side too. If I had gone ahead and voted you out 5-3, I would have directly acted against AJ and Julia, two people I had already alienated enough. And this plan to vote in the majority to stay in the loop with everyone did work - in the next round, AJ suggested a final three deal with me and Marc, and me and me and Julia spoke more than we ever had and worked on our idol together. Therefore, because you exited the game in this way, it allowed me to stay in the loop with two more people than I otherwise could have.

At this tribal council, I did not find or have any part in playing an idol. But what I did have, which neither Marc or Morena did, was a knowledge of who was leaving the game. I could have told Jack about Spencer’s idol and voted out someone else instead. I could have idolled Jack and saved him, voting out someone else instead - other people did not have these options available to them, and this is what I meant to emphasise in my speech, not that I totally owned this tribal council. I didn’t even think about how much it would hurt to you Jack, in a way I thought it would even be a good thing to be idolled out because it just epitomises how stable you were socially in this game that such a power had to be used against you to get you out. I’m truly sorry if I have taken more credit than I deserve because that was never my intention and like you said I think my true game can speak enough. I really hope you can find it within yourself to not punish me for trying to actually put my perspective of the breakdown of my game on show for you all to criticise.

Safe without immunity?
I never claimed this, but what I guess you're referring to is me saying "Yes, I have the most individual immunity wins of the season with five, but failing that I was still one of the last two people to not have votes against them before my immunity streak, showing I could cope without a physical game, or the idols I retrieved." This is a true statement. I don't see the need to hypothesise on what would have happened without my immunity wins or idols because that was an integral part of my game, but I think at least Morena would have given me a tiebreaker at f4 if I had lost, and I wouldn't have been surprised if Marc had stayed on my side too as we were devoted to going to ftc together since the beginning. I definitely don't think I would have been there with zero votes against if I had got to the end at all though!

Your closing question
I asked you if the vote was still Spencer because I was worried that you may have an idol, because we did not know where it was and people suspected you may have had one, so I wanted to make sure you thought the vote was going as normal - I thought not speaking to you at all would be odd. In hindsight, considering you didn’t have an idol, it was an unnecessary move, but I felt it was a necessary precaution at the time. And if you had wanted to split the vote, I would not have gone along and voted with you because I wanted you gone at this point in the game, I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but I feel like I owe you the truth, and a transparent comment on my game.

End
You are right, you did have a massive effect on the first 29 days of my game here which I failed to include in my jury speech and for that I am really sorry. Seeing you so angry... it didn't shock me, it's what I deserve, but it hurt me so much and I feel so guilty for how I treated your vote out. And now I can see how it appears I have tried to exaggerate my game. I hope you can see past my final tribal council performance and judge me on my true game, which I pray I have been able to clarify here. I think if Marc and Morena had broken down their games like I had, similar exaggeratory claims may have been made about their own games, so it was my mistake for doing so in the first place. I did absolutely love playing the game with you whilst you were here because, as you said, we were both good players and competitors and that made us easy to get along with one another and created a sort of mutual respect between us. I still believe that I had to remove you from the game in order to be here today but if I did that in a way that hurt you, I hope you can forgive me. I cannot apologise for wanting you out of this game when I did, because it contributed to me surviving to be here at final tribal council with who I am with today. I'm sorry for how I went about it and how it hurt you. I don't know how to express it anymore ;( No one can have absolute control over everything - I say in my speech "From final 7 onwards... every person who was voted out was because that was who I wanted voted out" and I think that's a fair comment on my game. I'm honestly not sure what you wanted from this response but I just want you to know, because I should have said it already, I am grateful for your part in my game. I know final tribal council is important and I'm honestly kicking myself rn, but I hope you can judge how I played my 39 days in this game, not just what happened here. Whatever happens, I look forward to talking again outside the game :) <3