What Humans Call Empathy/Confessionals

Day 11
"taieri"

- Regan really isn't nice. Glad she is gone.

"taieri"

- So I've gotten no information from the girls about how the girls tribe was at all, but I've picked up little tidbits and I've come up with an idea of the power structure. I believe that Chelsea and Jenna made the decisions, Chelsea pulled in Brittany and Faith, while HLC, Whitney, Regan, and Alissa all proved themselves to be unstable. Cheryl's in the middle, I'd assume. So my biggest target is Chelsea, because every one likes her. She seems like the glue that holds them together and I want to break them up so I can use Britt and Faith without worrying about a flip. Next would Jenna and then Cheryl, who seems like a sweetheart

"poukai"

- "I think I got Ci'ere back on my side... or at least Ci'ere is pretending I did and trying to reinforce the image by revealing to me some things that were fake about the Seventh Heaven alliance (some of which I knew, some of which I didn't). If Ci'ere voted me out, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a blindside. Anyway, I guess it's possible I'm not with Seventh Heaven anymore if several others treat it as fake. We'll see what happens the next time there's a merge/swap. At least if it falls apart then it'll be easier for me to work with Kostas upon merging. For now, I'm going to just play as if Ci'ere and Charlie both want to keep me around and we'll be voting out the girls if our current tribe has to attend tribal council again. Because I don't really have another move other than to play like that.

"kawau"

- I know it has been a while since I have written a confessional. Sorry, real life issues. So we just had yet another swap. Ugh....I was glad for the 1st one. I was picked 1st & Konstan & I hit it off well. Granted we never lost a challenge to go to TC, but he would have had my back. I went to Casper, as well, to secure myself in numbers. Casper was my partner in attack, defend challenge. I beat him, but he intrigued me, so I was glad to see him there. Then there was Matt. I talked to him, as well. I think I had an understanding with each of the guys. I'm pretty sure Kons was talkin them up too, after all I was from the ladies tribe, originally. Jenna never shows & the guys were takin notice. We just weren't about to throw a challenge to get her out, but she was our option, if it came to that.

"taieri"

- Messy Confessional 5 for New Zealand

"taieri"

- I finally was able to get close to Brittany, she told me she trusts me most out of our tribe (which I know is bullshit) and we planned out a final three (that I'm not going to stick with) with Faith. I got a ton of information out of her and managed to get her scared of the other guys, so I think I'm gonna be able to trust her for the time being. The tough thing is going to be choosing between her, Faith and Josh if we lose, and still keeping the other 2 loyal.

"taieri"

- here we are at another swap. And I have no one, ugh. But again, the boys are friendly. I took notice that Brittany & Brian were a lil friendly in main chat. I will keep an eye on them. Idk if they have worked together before or have any past knowledge of each other. But I am social, that's how I play...so, of course, I already messaged both guys. Sheesh, 2 guys, 2 girls......& none of them are my guys, ugh! Emotikon frown Hopefully them being interested in my profile & my huge personality helps them sway away from voting me. We shall see, we shall see..... XOXO

"kawau"

- This swap surprised me. Perhaps it shouldn't have, but it did. And now I wonder if it was even worthwhile to repair things with Ci'ere and give him the info that I was close with Berk (which I did as a show of good faith after Ci'ere opened up to me about some things). I guess it probably was, but we'll see if anything is still held together after the next swap or merge. It is nice to be on Kawau in the sense that this tribe name keeps winning everything. But I know that really has no meaning, so.. I'm happy Charlie's on my team, but the girls haven't impressed me yet (but Alissa did in the scavenger hunt, so these new girls might eventually as well). I worry that Chelsea in particular might have 1 or more idols from Kawau. I'm happy to see how preplanned this game is. Preplanned games are the best. I've hosted both preplanned and last-minute-planning games before, and the preplanned ones are just so much smoother, and they remove the risk of accidental host bias because hosts don't have to make any decisions regarding merges and all that during the game - all the decisions are already made. Have I mentioned that Ci'ere told me he got 2 idol clues yet but that they were for Kawau and he wasn't allowed to solve the clue after the first swap? Well, he did. Idk if that's the full story or not, but that's what I'll at least pretend is true anywah, and I plan to honor Ci'ere's wishes and keep it to myself.... at least until there's a really compelling reason to break Ci'ere's wishes. Anyway, I guess this makes me happy Ci'ere isn't on Kawau? Or maybe upset? I'm not sure. Maybe I should've pressed him on what those clues were before we switched tribes in case something like this (me being on Kawau and him not) happened. Oops. Well if he told Charlie (even though he says he told no one but me), then Charlie might grab it, and that could be a reason he's happy to be on Kawau. Regarding the popularity poll, I like how it wasn't revealed. I wonder if Kawau (being the winningest team) has both the player who is most liked and the player who is least liked. And I wonder which I am. Or if I'm just a lame inbetweener. I unfortunately know that one guy wants me to win (because he posted on my Wikia wall at the very very beginning of the game - before even the first challenge IIRX), so I should have at least 1 vote. I'm also somewhat active on the Facebook pages for Survivor ORG and the Retribution Viewing Lounge, so people might recognize me from therr and vote me either positively or negatively. I'm going to warily guess that there is probably more positive than negative. Maybe I am a Trump - someone who coukd both win a "who is your favorite" poll and also score the most haters in a "who do you dislike the most" poll.

"poukai"

- Another twist! 4 tribes of 4, oh man. I def got lucky with this one. I'm on Poukai with Ci'ere and Kos, both of whom I'm close with, and Daniella, who I don't know and seems sort of invisible. So if we should lose, she seems like an easy first boot. Sort of think we'll be ok though, Kos and I are pretty strong and Ci'ere seems devoted. I'm hoping I was one of the more popular players. I'm guessing it would be me and Kos on this tribe, we're probably both a little polarizing.

"arapawa"

- So 4 tribes of 4, with 3 people I have zero faith in and I have to wear a pink buff? It must mean the viewers hate me... Which kind of would be a massive turn on! But I guess we'll be going to tribal, with this bunch... So for now playing up my "poor brother" with Jenna, my really old manly man alliance with Joshua and just having stupid talk with Alissa and playing up the European connection. Hopefully that will be enough to keep me safe.

"taieri"

- So I got extremely lucky with this tribe swap. I'm in an automatic 3-1 majority with Brian and Brittany over Cheryl. And after Cheryl's gone, if we lose again it's going to be Brittany going home. There's almost certainly going to be another swap so I won't say that my spot in the merge is guaranteed, but I'm just so confident about the connections I've made that I feel like I could weasel my way out of almost any situation with any tribe. Now I'm just hoping that some of my most trusted allies (like Pav and Casper and Charlie) are able to stay safe.

"kawau"

- ANOTHER SWAP.. I loved my tribe this makes me sad.. But hopefully Alex, Charlie, faith and I can do well

"poukai"

- Realizing I am now on a third straight tribe with Kos. Are the Survivor gods punishing me? He's probably the person I have the least in common with in the game. And yet I trust him. I'm starting to consider bringing him along as a goat. In fact, I'm not entirely sure Kos isn't an actual goat. I could see him munching on cans. And that beard! Yep, definite goat.

"arapawa"

- This is the first time i've felt worried in a while... Seeing how the girls were too friendly during the swap i think I'm going to have to make some bonds with the guys.

"taieri"

- I'm still a dolphin.... is what I would've said if I was telling the truth. Right now, Cheryl is the odd man out, but I don't know where Britt stands. I'm pretty sure it's us together, but I have some ideas if plans go south.

"poukai"

- I had such a good spot at NuKawau and we switch again. Aaaaaaagggghhh why you do this???? I am not going out that easily. Ciere seems to not have noticed that he was a minority back at Kawau. It helps that he was with all the outcasts at Poukai. Matt is possible to have switched to the girls side, but I doubt he would vote with Daniela. I really think I need to win immunity for my tribem

"taieri"

- I think the fan vote was really interesting. We don't get to know who the favorites are, but I'm pretty certain I'm not one of them. I've been playing it pretty conservative in group chats and in my questionnaire. But that's all for the purpose of making myself seem to be a non factor in the game. My entire post merge game is dependent on blindsides, and if I can just lull the majority of players (and by extension, fans) into overlooking me, it's going to work and it's going to blow people's minds. Scratch that, it's DEFINITELY going to work. And I'm too stoked to see fan reactions at the end of the game.

"taieri"

- Matt is perfect. I get happier everyday that I made a friend. c:

"kawau"

- So we're probably gonna swap like sixty times but that's okay because I think I know who's with who at this point to an extent. Getting rid of Kyle worked out exactly how I intended because the girls did infact dish all of the tea from the girls' tribe and Alissa helped a shit load in identifying the trio of Chelsea, Brittany and Faith. Then as we were swapping they acted as if they were reunited triplets which really solidified what Alissa said. I'm pretty sure Josh is with them too which I told Alissa, which means if all goes to plan she can get him out and hopefully the other three will follow in one way or another. I kinda get this vibe that there's a Canadian females alliance atm and the boys are almost all being SLUTTY with their gameplay. I'm still surprised that there haven't been any full on fights yet. Also I really need immunity now more than everrrr.

"poukai"

- Apparently Daniella is trying to target me. Daniella, who has never spoken to me or to the tribe at large and seems to be just plotting with Ci'ere. Well, honey, even if you got him to consider flipping, that dude is not going to rocks for you. Bad strategy. Sorry, I have no patience for the invisibles.

Day 12
"arapawa"

- I don't feel safe with this tribe, so we need to win this challenge, i can not go to tribal.

"poukai"

- We swapped for a second time and I couldn't be more happy with my tribe because I find myself in the middle of both sides. I have Dani on one side, whom I've enjoyed working with thus far and she's been killing it in challenges. On the other hand, I have the Testosterone Bros which honestly makes me want to puke. I'm not sure if I would be willing to tie the vote for Dani and strain my connections with the guys. Kostas picked Pav and Casper, his two closest allies, for the first tribe swap even though he said he wanted me on his tribe which makes me not really trust him. I do trust Pav though and I would like to keep working with him and the Fab 4. Hopefully we can win challenges and I won't have to vote anyone out.

"kawau"

- At first I thought this challenge was some crazy big Mastermind thing, but unfortunately it seems to be easier than that. I say 'unfortunately' only because I thought I was going to come up with really good strategy for the Mastermind-like game, which would make it more like we'd get 1st place.

"arapawa"

- I love when everyone trusts me its so nice I'm such a fake ass but I'm nice about it

"poukai"

- I feel safe in my tribe but they are the most boring people in the history of bring people. I mean, you are giving the last James bond a movie a tough time, that' s how boring ou are people. FLIRT PEOPLE, have fu, chat in the tribal chat. Everynight we keep thre fire going dowze off, we collect wood we dont even speak. Boys feel safe, I kinda have a deal with Daniela and they all sleep well. Gosh I kinda have a deal with everyone I have left. Oh well... What can you do...

"arapawa"

- So right now, I'm working on integrating myself in the tribe. I'm pretty sure I've Joshua's vote locked and I think that alliance has been reestablished. I've also shared the awful news about my brother with him... Lmao, I think I should share my awful awful story with Alissa as well, I don't want her to be excluded in this tribe. Actually really want to start making up more random lies just for fun and I probably will do that very soon. Like the most creepy weird personal stories or just stuff that obviously could never have happened. I often feel tempted to do crazy stuff in these games, so it would be smarter for me to just have fun and distract myself with stupid lies about me personally. For instance this morning, I came up with this crazy plan involving a fake immunity idol and resulting in a 2-1-1 vote, just to entertain myself. I really need to keep myself in check and make sure to not let the crazy out too much before the merge. Anyways next to Joshua, I've also talked to Alissa and Jenna of course. I actually think I have talked more to Alissa, than I have to Joshua. I hope to get something going with the girl soon and then I guess that if Arapawa were ever to go to tribal Jenna would be the obvious target. I don't know what's going on with her. Everyone on NuKawau wanted to vote her out and I don't think it will be hard to pull it off here on Arapawa. I mean, Joshua did not even know her name for crying out loud. Obviously she's doing something wrong. She told me she lately had not been feeling too well and that that's the reason she's not that active currently. So I kind of feel bad for her... Is what I would say if I was capable of what you humans call empathy. I maybe should really read something about that empathy-thing. I feel as though it maybe could come in handy in this game.

"poukai"

- After our little argument, Alex begged me to come back to Third Heaven and he said that he wants to work with me. I hate to say it, but I think I need Alex in this game. I can practically use him as a human shield. He's a threat in challenges, he's loyal to his allies, and he makes for a good goat due to being slightly disliked by other people. 🐐 I told Alex about the hoax alliance to gain some trust from him and now I feel like I have him on a leash. In return, he told me that Berk was the one who told him about the core four and how we wanted a six person alliance...

"poukai"

- Kicked butt in another challenge. I hope I'm not becoming too much of a challenge threat. I can try to tone it down when we get to individual challenges. Or I'll just try to win every one.

"kawau"

- I scored 7 on the challenge. Charlie and Faith also scored 7, and Chelsea could've scored 7 if she didn't mess up. Maybe her score of 8 can be a reason to vote her out if we do face Tribal Council, but I think we'll probably place 2nd or 3rd in this challenge with our team score of 29 and poor time tie-breaker.

Day 13
"arapawa"

- So Arapawa has to go to tribal... Well even a blindfolded Stevie Wonder could've seen that one coming. Casper's strategy for a 4 person tribe, play every fucking side you possibly can. So originally I wanted to target Jenna, but it seems as though Alissa fucked up by employing my strategy in a too obvious and shaky way.

"poukai"

- So I did the best out of anyone in the challenge. Am really starting to think I need to tone it down. Don't want to become a Joey Amazing. Now me and Kos are the only 2 to not attend tribal council. Also, talked to Daniella finally last night. She seems like a sweet girl. It's too bad we will probably be voting for each other if we ever go to tribal.

"arapawa"

- I forgot confessionals existed I'm such a flop my score even proves it but anyways hopefully they want to keep me around for some unknown reason, we're voting out Alissa because she's a schemer and I got everyone to see THAT and she's already worried about merge like slow down ur not even gonna make it thru tonight bbg

"arapawa"

- Although Jenna is the reason we lost, i have to look out of her, i think she could be a number for me when we merge. I' m leaning towards Casper going, i told him he was my number 1, he ate that shit up, but he's too dangerous.

"poukai"

- It's great to be able to talk to Berk during this reward! I feel so much more at ease when he's around. It's such a relief to be able to not have to hide things from someone

"arapawa"

- In my playing every side I at least have remained loyal to Joshua, Alissa has very lightly remained loyal to Jenna but.... She's being loyal to someone who does not trust her. Apparently Jenna was already lied to in this game by Alissa, Alissa does not know that Jenna knows this this but obviously Jenna does not trust Alissa because of this reason. Am I feeling safe? No. Apparently Alissa has been targeting me now. I do feel like my alliance with Joshua and Jenna should be good enough but you never know. They are in the very trusted circle of people who know of my poor brother, so hopefully that will help. I also made sure to tell Josh that I would not flip to not burn bridges with our men's alliance. Which is basically me telling him, he should not vote for me to not burn bridges with our men's alliance.

"arapawa"

- I'm killing myself can this tribal happen already why haven't I vote omg I'm such a hypocrite bye

"poukai"

- Really loving this reward time with the other tribe. Reconnected with Cheryl and Brian. Keeping my distance somewhat from Brittany cause I want her out and also want to stay off her radar.

"arapawa"

- Joshua is SUCH a mess i can not believe him, he has got to go, he basically just saved Casper's ass

"arapawa"

- Right now let's just keep my fingers crossed. If this vote goes down the way Joshua and Jenna like me to believe I should be in a very good position in this tribe. If not, I'll blame production for not properly rigging the season for me and I'll go on a tirade about how unfair this ORG is. Let's just hope that does not happen, because I already feel kind of embarrassed if I would have to get my post survivor fame in this community that way...

"poukai"

- Also, I have so many plans that are just hypotheticals cause I've never been to tribal. I'm really starting to get antsy. But there's no way I'd throw a challenge just to get into the game. I'm too competitive and that almost never ends well.

"taieri"

- So was able to help win the challenge and save Cheryl's ass. At the reward Pav told me he thought Cheryl was solid, and it got me thinking that I might want to keep Cheryl over Brittany. Cheryl just has less connections, and she seems like she needs us. Not sure what I'll do if we lose this challenge, I need to talk to Cheryl and see where her heads at.