No More Strategy, No More Sweet Talking/Confessionals

Day 35
"yaacov"

- I need to get this out before i forget.

I am sad seeing Jamie go but honestly i believe what I did was the right thing to do.. After I won the immunity, the first people I go to were Jamie and Julian.. why did i approach them?

Simple. Because I trusted them. Dennis trusted them and I trusted them. Since I no longer have my closest most awesomest ally with me (Topaz), I went to them hoping that they would help me vote out Casey. In the first place, Dennis wanted to bring along Casey and later blindside her during Final 6. Unfortunately, Dennis was not here to help me vote Casey out. I thought Jamie and Julian understood the importance to get rid of Casey when she is most vulnerable, and the time was now. I told Julian he needs to make a move.

But Jamie didn't want to get rid of Casey because she wanted to use Casey as a shield. She feels that if she help me vote Casey out, then she will be the target next, and as usual, Julian was being Julian. I wasn't mad when they made this decision. I didn't want to force people to what they don't want to do.. And then, i went to Jake and Laure, asking them to help me get rid of Casey. Laure was especially helpful.. she wanted to help me and we had everything planned out.

And the next thing i know.. i thought why not vote Jamie? I was hoping that if Jamie is gone, Julian would be able to think on his own and not be too dependent on Jamie. Plus, i was annoyed at Jamie because she was too afraid to do anything. I asked her, "Why are you so afraid?" Honestly, losing Casey is not the end of the world because she still have Julian with her and the only thing she can do is convince one person to vote together with her and Jamie.

Suddenly, an 4 hours before the voting time ends, Jamie told me she voted for Casey. I was like, i voted already. I can't change the vote. I asked Jamie, what makes she change her mind? I mean, why now? Ugh.

Why did it took you so long to make a decision? I told her I was hurt, because she never thought about bringing me with her to FTC at all. I mean, when she made the new alliance and left me as one of the outsiders, it was clear I was not part of her plan since the beginning. And even now, when I went to her and ask her to vote Casey with me, she never thought about bringing me. She would rather bring Casey. Only when it is only 4 hours before voting time ends, she thinks yeah why not bring Sarah? That is better than not going at all. I have told her since beginning, i would want to bring the people I trust to FTC. I wanted to have Dennis with me and Jamie too ( this is assuming i make it to FTC) because honestly if i were to lose, it would be an honour to lose to the two people who were nice and trusted me..two amazing players who both had their own strengths. I was devastated when Dennis got voted out, but i wasn't mad at Jamie or Julian. I never betrayed Jamie or even Julian. but Jamie trusted Casey more than me. And i am sad by that.

Jamie's roast about me.. the one where she said everyone that have an alliance with me gets voted out.. yep that is true. But honestly, Dennis and Reks are good people who didn't deserve to go too early in the game. And then Jamie told me that Julian wants to be voted out in the F4.. that made me mad.

I mean, if you think you don't deserve to be here and you want people to vote you... which means you don't want to fight to stay.... then why are you here? Why did you waste someone else's opportunity to be here? Someone who wanted to win... Someone who would fight to stay instead of wanting to be voted out in the Final 4? :'( I know, i don't have people rooting for me.. i am up against Queen Casey and Jamie... what are my chances? So i had to do what I had to do.. I had to get rid of one person.. and i made the decision Jamie should go... I wanted Jamie to go.. and she did. I played hard to win immunities because i know i have to prove that i deserve to be here. I don't know if that is enough....I am not even sure anyone would understand what i wrote.. lol

The thing that hurts me the most is the fact that it took Jamie so long to realize that she can always count on me.. I thought she knew that I would always have her back.. But she didnt see that and unfortunately, it was too late.

And the reason why I gave my Idol to Laure was because I need at least one person that I trust to be safe. I always wanted to use the idol on the people i trust.. my ally.. I didn't get to use it on Reks or even Dennis.. So i gave it to the person who have helped me today - Laure. Even though there was no vote for Laure. I don't think it was a waste to gave her my vote.. I am glad I get to use the idol on someone else besides on myself.

At the end of the day, I am sorry that Jamie is out.. This is the second hardest vote I have to make.. The first one was Tommy's. I regret it so much when i voted Tommy.. because i trusted someone else instead of my own ally.. That is why i have always try to be loyal. i try to not believe everything i hear. I always put 100% faith on my ally and hope for the best... If Dennis were here today, Jamie might still be here.

I am sorry this is so long. I am sorry for my English.. i really hope you would understand this.

Day 36
"yaacov"

- Well here I am in the final 4, and I'm the last guy in the game. Up untill now my strategy has been throw every single challenge, but I can't afford that anymore. I'm so close to the crown that I can taste it. And I'm not giving up now.

"yaacov"

- I guess after the bullshit that was the last tribal council I'm due for one of these

You read my last confessional I'm assuming. That idol play was genius, because it prepared me for a lot of scenarios. The obvious being if they blindsided me, the other being if they all voted Jake and my idol would make it so our whole alliance was immune in the event of rocks.

If Julian had remembered to vote it still would have been great, because I was safe no matter what and Jamie was either going to go or losing an alliance member.

But Jamie just went out of the game the old fashioned way (part her fault for letting her ego get the best of her) and it was so bittersweet for me, because if I get to the FTC and they say 'Laure what was your best strategic move' all I have to brag about is a move that failed.

Them axing Casey that early wasn't a scenario I prepared for. I thought they would wait until final 5. It would have been a great move for Jamie had it worked, but it didn't work. Jamie had a lot of flaws with it though, tipped her hand, and I called her bluff. She says I outlasted her. I didn't outlast her. I outplayed her. Notice during the roast when I got mad at Jake for reposting the Chaos Casey video she kept coming to her defense, and there was the whole 'I promised them' I would vote Casey thing. Hell I even outplayed Casey because I kept warning her something was going on and she didn't listen, hence why she voted Jake.

I'm in a great position in this game right now, because everyone wants to make to final tribal council. Actually that's a bad position, because it means everyone thinks they can beat me. I don't know about that *Sandra voice*, because I think Jamie is going to be a grenade at Ponderosa with her bitterness. She came at me with some sense of entitlement that she deserved to be at final tribal council. Survivor isn't about deserve, it's about getting rid of your threats. She was a great player, something I will not take away from her (despite her really bad miscalculation at the last tribal), and that's why she had to go. I don't think Lucky, James, and Rex will open their ears to her bitterness and understand her side of the story though, because they were never aligned with her.

I'm in a very tricky situation at the moment though. Jake proved himself (for once) to be loyal during the last vote, but how will I reward him? He isn't a threat to anyone here on the final tribal council, but he needs to go. I made promises to myself and others and he doesn't factor into the equation. I told Sarah I guarantee her final 3. I will do anything in my power to keep that promise, even if Casey has to go make fire. Regardless of what people like Jamie think, I'm not a piece of shit. I am not going to take Jamie's idol and then cut her throat. I made a promise and I'm going to keep it. (Though with Julian quitting her idol never would have gotten used otherwise. We almost had a season with no idols)

I hope Sarah understands my promise is only good up until the final 3 though, because I need her on the jury to vote for me. Even at final 3 I have no intentions of writing her name down. Casey is going to be the one to get blood on her hands.

That's the plan right now. Axe Jake, make Sarah the victim of Casey's selfishness. I want to go to final tribal council with Casey. I think I have a chance cause she has a lot of blood on her hands from being Jamie's pawn, but it's also because if I lose I'm 100% okay with that. I've gone from Survivor Indonesia strategy to marketing strategy. You see we both have Tumblr Survivor seasons we're hosting coming up and we need to prove that Tumblr Survivor players and seasons are way more intense, and we can use this as a recruitment strategy. I hope to benefit off something no matter what. I don't take risks on things that don't benefit me.

Vote Conffesional
"yaacov"

- So I lost the challenge. I just screwed my fucking game over. But no, I'm not going out this way. I will put them through so much hell, that they can't vote me off. Sorry Laure, you made it pretty far but I'm not going down without a fight.

Day 38
"yaacov"

- Everything has gone according to plan, or have they?

Sarah was ready to write my name down to make me do a tie breaker. She made a promise to Jake she wouldn't vote him, so I had fix it. I made her a final 2 promise, and I intend to make that promise. Well I would intend to make it if I didnt suck at everything and probably have no chance at hell in winning any challenges.

The plan was to exploit the mean things Jamie said to me to make it look like I have no chance in hell at winning in the final tribal council, but is it really working? Would Casey really take me to the final tribal council if she knew I had a final 2 deal with Sarah I can't break?

At this point it's all about counting votes. In order to win I think I need Sarah on the jury. She has already told me she would vote for me, and her and Rex are close. That's 2 votes right there. If Casey figures that our there is a chance she might not take me, and the great social game I've been playing with Sarah might hurt me as well. I mean she was ready to vote me out at final 3..... So would she really take me to final 2?

I'm so nervous :(

Lets count the votes. James? I don't think he knows Sarah, I went along with Jamie's move to take him out while he assumed Casey was incharge. He would most likely vote Casey.

Lucky.... Me and Lucky got off on the wrong foot and I wasn't the nicest to him, but he asked me if I'd play the amazing race with him.... So he might like me? I don't know his relationship with Sarah or Casey

Dennis- both of us share a weird sense of humor I think he would vote for me.

Jamie- hates my guts and will vote anyone other than me because she is bitter that she didnt get to win the game that she acted entitled to

Jake- Wont vote Sarah. Said the FTC speech will sway him.

Rex- an automatic vote for Sarah.

"yaacov"

- So Jake hates me now.. I am sorry. i really am.. i am happy to be in the final 3 with Casey and Laure.. i wish this is the end.. but it is not. I was so nervous yesterday. Casey and Laure promised me that they would never vote me and I trust them. But the hesitation came when people from outside of the game coming to me and making me nervous ( don't freak out Joan. They didn't tell me anything that might help me win. Just they wanted to know if i was going to be voted out or not.. Just to name a few like Nuno Szymon Tommy coming to me and say "you better not get voted out" and that scares me..) I want the chance to go to FTC. I want to help Jake but i cant. If i vote Laure and she and Jake goes to the fire making challenge and assuming Jake loses, then i am in danger. because that would mean Casey will definitely bring Laure and vice versa. But since i vote Jake and i didnt backstab Laure, my chance to get to FTC is still there. Because i asked Casey and Laure to atleast consider me. I know they are good friends and all, but i just want to be considered. that is all i ask for. And Casey and Laure have proved themselves.

One more challenge to do.. and i am so nervous. Hope i make it to the end..

"yaacov"

- This is what I wanted? I thought I wanted.

Casey needed to win immunity, because she needs to be the one to vote Sarah out. That way I don't go back on my promise and that's another vote for me.

I just hate not having my own fate in my hands. All I can really do is just lay out the facts to her...... counting the votes Sarah has, and I mean it's the right decision to take me. Casey knows it, she tells me she knows it.

I just have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Day 39
"yaacov"

- No more strategy, no more sweet talking

I only have one more move left in this game, and that's to sell my bullshit, and hope they buy my bullshit right back

after that the power shifts from me and Casey to the jury

I am just so glad we both got her..... It's like amazing...... I didn't even think it was possible, because Lucky already talked shit about how I knew Casey and how it was going to be a problem, and I thought one of us had to go by merge. I didn't know this was possible.