Board Thread:Season 47 - Heroes vs. Villains II/@comment-24553600-20180611203601

It's actually insanely surreal to me right now that I'm writing this speech for you guys. To go from wanting to quit day 1 because I thought I was just a pre-merge fodder, to being all the way here, is not something I take lightly. So before I get into all the gameplay stuff I just to quickly take care of the obligatory thank you's.

- Thank you to the hosts, for believing in me and giving me another shot at this game, as well as giving me one hell of a last game to play in. Thank you to the viewers for supporting, or having an opinion on, everything that went on because it keeps even more people engaged. And thank you to the rest of the players this season, this season wouldn't have been as fun or memorable without you all making my life a living hell for the past month and a half.

I distinctly remember a conversation I had in the beginning of this game with someone, where I expressed that I was worried based off me being the only four time player and reputation alone, that I would be the biggest target in the game for people to want to take a shot at. The response I got was "Yeah you're probably right, I just can't think of anyone who is a bigger target than you". Another conversation I had with an ally involved a similar topic where they said "I think it would be a miracle if you made it to the merge,".

But I'm still here. And yeah, some of it was definitely luck, but a lot of it was also me. I made sure I was always two steps ahead from the rest, planning things out longterm, and always making sure I was in a position where I was safe. I played this game using social bonds I created within the game, for strategic leverage I could use throughout the game. I got to rectify the wrongs that I made during my past games, and set things right with me. I grew so much from this game from my last three, I was a target each time I played before, because of how bad I was at challenges, and now here I am with four individual immunity wins under my belt, the most this season from anyone. I wasn't too scared or passive, and I wasn't too aggressive and demanding this time, I think this time I found just the right middle ground.

Something I just want to address right away because I'm not sure how heavily it's been discussed in ponderosa, is the pregame connections. While I think it's clear there truly was no premade, yes I did know people going into the game, but I also want to make clear that I never relied on them for anything in the game and my successful was not because of me simply knowing them. I branched out, I made new allies that over time became more important and valuable to me than people I knew before the game. I did know people, but me knowing them and being friends with them did not secure my trust and loyalty just because of that fact. Which as the game progressed, was made evidently clear to me that strategy could not work for me even if I wanted it to. Which is why I take full responsibility for why the "pregame" group died along the way like they did as I will explain.

After Ally and Marie went home, they became martyrs for me, representatives that made me promise myself that I would never be blindsided by a vote ever again. And despite my voting history, which I will get into later, I never was. I was the only person who knew of every elimination that was happening at the merge, even if it wasn't my plan or the original intention of how I wanted that round to go. I didn't always stand in the spotlight as the person pulling strings, I wasn't in the drivers seat. I think a better analogy would be I'm on a bus and had control of the pull-cords of where and when it stopped or went forward. And this cloaked control wasn't just an accident, I was making my little moves to achieve this all game long. It's no coincidence that at one point or another Evan, Claire, Rob, Lexi, Declan, Maya and Nick all told me I was the person they trusted most or was their closest ally with whom they shared secret information with.

And that's where the shitty part began. When the merge came I had a variety of different options I could take, I knew my position and how I would look to the jury if I went far with people I knew beforehand. So at the start of the merge, I tried to separate who I thought was not going to make a really big move against me when it got to the end of the game. The first 7 jurors were all people that had a lot of control at certain points in the game, and were all capable of potentially making really big moves against me if they stayed any longer. This is where Nick came into play, as someone else who I knew wanted to start making moves, he was perfect for my ideal plan. He wanted to live up to his villain title and was happy to blindside whoever, even moreso with some directional advice. Creating the paranoia that this person may betray you, this person can win out, that person could be a threat, etc. This is also where me voting incorrectly came into reality, while I knew the outcome of what was going to happen from all ten tribals, there was a certain advantage of voting wrongly. It gave the perception I had no idea what was going on and was blindsided, decreasing my threat status by appearing to not have control. While also allowing me to acquire both the flows of information from the minority and majority alliance, knowing where both sides would go next vote.

Although some of the moves sucked, it was an unfortunate truth that jurors like Evan and Claire would be able to catch onto my control and prevent it compared to more under the radar players. It's no accident that the final 6 consisted of me and 3 of the most honest people in the game with me, Maya, Declan, and Lexi, three of whom considered me their close if not closest ally.

BUT, I do want to mention and talk about something I thought a lot about, a close friend once said to me "Something I have learned from this game is that I don’t like playing survivor with close friends. Survivor isn’t a game you want to play with your close friend it’s just too much to handle and someone is gonna get fucked over hard." And it's the truth. I'm not talking about just people I met before the game, but to all the people I backstabbed and betrayed who I met here as well. But something else that came with this game, was fact that Survivor is a selfish game that cost me in seasons past because I wasn't being selfish, and if I wanted to succeed this time I had to be even if it meant people I truly liked going home.I have to admit, maybe a part of why I told people about my idol was that I was hoping they'd secretly catch on to what was happening and ask me to play my idol on them. I just wanted to apologize if this hurts anyone and I understand if you wouldn't want to talk after the game is through. But if I didn't think the moves needed to be done for me to be sitting here now, I wouldn't have done it.

In a more condensed paragraph, I know Survivor is so much more than social, strategic and physical game, but I do think they are the three cores to the game and I think I've played the best of all three. Social, at the core I had over several people tell me I was their closest ally, was informed of every idol discovery and blindside this season, as well as being the first person ever in an all star game to get to the end with 0 votes cast against them, possibly never even needing immunity to achieve this. Strategically, I put myself in a position where I was calling the shots on a bunch of moves. I may not have put myself out there to be the one making the moves, but with subtle pushes and strings pulled without people realizing it was me behind the curtain. And physically, I won more challenges individually than anyone else this season with 4, but I PUSHED myself and worked hard on all of the challenges premerge as well. I secured myself another day in this game when I did an entire challenge for my tribe. Working on it for a FULL DAY with Lexi of course. I put effort into every challenge and got results from them.

647.

There has been 647 people to have ever played on this ORG throughout it's 47 seasons. I have more days played now than all of them with 133, which beats the last holder by 18 days. To put it into perspective, Ozzy Lusth has the most days played on actual Survivor but with 128. I was the only four time player this season, and I'm still here. There have been 4 All-Star seasons before this one, and I'm the first person to make it to the end in one of them with 0 votes. I now have the possibility of playing a perfect game(while I'm not expecting it). From the 5 other four time players, I'm the only person to make it to the merge all 4 times I played. I had an idol from day 9 to day 37, that I NEVER needed and played perfectly. I'm the only person sitting here who is not here because of an idol play that saved them.

So to wrap up this long ass speech, I want to just bring it back to the seasons theme that I thought long about. In this game, I kept wondering if I was playing like a hero or a villain at times, I was confused if I should've been a hero or villain before this season began. But I think me sitting here reflecting on everything, made things clearer. I don't think I was a hero or a villain in this game, I think I was both. So I'm happy to have played this game, as a sort of anti-hero if you will.

One last thank you for reading this, and I hope to answer any questions or comments about my game as this tribal progresses, if you have specific questions about game moves I didn't cover or mention feel free to ask in your speeches! 