Board Thread:Season 57 - Laguna Colorada/@comment-2211541-20200216115832/@comment-44735465-20200216183039

Hi Toby! Thank you for your speech. This game is mostly about how others perceive you, and having watched through your speech I can understand how you perceived me in the game. You’re absolutely right about my jury management, but I’d like to make a comment regarding our final 2 deal and backstabbing you. I stabbed you in the back, but it was made with intention as I felt like final 7 was the last time we could properly blindside you without it backfiring on us by you playing your idol, for instance. I was genuine with you for the most part, but there were a lot of things you never told me about which made me feel like I couldn’t trust you like I did pre-merge. In the game, you kept telling me I was your closest ally but throughout the season I kept hearing about a lot of things, such as you having an idol or the alliance between the Sangre 3.0 minus Zeebem, both of which you never told me about. The problem I had with that was the fact that you told TC about your idol, and apparently Luca as well, so it really made me question your commitment to me. The last nail to the coffin was you leaving me out of the Phoenix vote, so I just felt like we weren’t as tight as you claimed us to be.

How can you say that me cutting TC over Luca was the wrong decision? From what we can all read from everyone's jury speeches, everyone thought I was TC's little bitch, which is completely the opposite of what I was. Using him as a shield was something I knew I wanted to do, because I didn't have any idols or anything to protect me, so I needed to come up with my own idol, and that was TC. I couldn't possibly use you as a shield, because you were already most people's top pick to get voted out sooner or later, and letting everyone believe we were solid could've possibly resulted in me going home way sooner than I would've gone had my plan of using TC as a shield backfired, which it didn't.

I'll just get this all out one last time. Just like you said, every move I made was made with clear purpose. I never made any move just for the sake of making a move, which I feel most people tried doing this season. Regarding your issue with not being able to see how every move I made was in order to benefit my game, I can assure you that every person voted out got voted out because that's the person I was willing to sacrifice, because I saw no benefit in keeping them any longer or on the flip side, keeping them would just cause me more harm and potentially get me voted out. Excluding the Phoenix vote, everyone who I wanted gone was voted out of the game. What I would like to bring up is the fact that Luca saying removing Phoenix from the game was beneficial to him might've seemed like that to him, but from what I remember, Phoenix wasn't even going after him. I did let Luca believe that Phoenix might still have issues with him, but I did tell him on multiple occasions that I was willing to cut Phoenix lose if he wanted to do so, so all this talk about us being a trio just doesn't click with me very well. TC and Phoenix weren't gonna turn on each other, but I made it very clear I wasn't going to go with the flow and stick with them till the end.

I never said Abi getting rocked out was a move and it was clearly pure coincidence that she was the one picking the rock, but it didn't make a difference to me whether it was her or Micah picking the rock. I wanted both of them gone soon after either way, and it was just coincidental that the biggest social threat picked the wrong rock, but forcing the rock draw was a move, and I deserve credit for that. I could've voted Luca out and float with Nicolai, but I didn't want to do that, because that's not what my game was all about, which leads me to your first question.

How do I define my game? What's the identity of my game?

- Beneath the surface like a crocodile.

Voting you out hurt me the most while also being an easy decision, because I connected with you the best out of anyone in this game, and I knew that backstabbing you could bring me issues later on, especially if I made it to the final 2, but it was the risk I was willing to take in order to get me one round further with a player like you cut lose already. I never stroke unless I had to, and this was the case with you. It still bothers me that I had to cut you the way I did, and the day you got blindsided I was feeling really uneasy and tried avoiding conversations with you, while also trying to maintain your sense of confidence not to alert you that something was wrong.

The one single event I would change would be the whole Beth thing. We purposely threw the challenge to get rid of her, because she was in no way welcome to stay in the game, but had we not thrown the challenge there's a fair chance Liam would've made the merge as well, and considering Zeebem had to quit some hours into the merge, Liam definitely deserved to get here.