Bullet to My Heart/Confessionals

Day 14
"kawau"

- I'm kinda really distraught about this whole Alissa being voted out thing. A bullet to my heart and game. Best believe if I get any say in this game I'll avenge her. These bitches are going down, one way or another.

"kawau"

- "We got 3rd in the challenge, and now it's the next challenge. I see that my former tribemate Alissa was voted out at Arapawa's tribal council. I'm not the best at Tetris, but I was pretty fast at doing that puzzle; my spatial reasoning is good. So I suspect I will be the person doing Tetris for our team. I also suspect someone from another team will beat me though. I'm pleased Charlie is on my team to do the trivia. Hopefully he will win that. I don't know about creativity. I certainly don't have any art skills.

"taieri"

- So I ended up pitching Cheryl to join the 5 guys alliance. I'm not sure what I want to do with her yet but for now she's going to feel like I have her back, which isn't such a bad thing. I hinted at a final 3 with Josh, which she may have liked. I think getting rid of Brittany would make Faith hate Brian and I, but if we have Cheryl we don't need her. We'll see what happens.

"taieri"

- I think I'm doing pretty well in challenges. I hope that this continues if I make the merge... Also, I totally like my tribe, but if we lose, it'll really show trust.

"poukai"

- Kos just told me he has a clue to a hidden immunity idol! It's on Kawau though, so we wouldn't be able to try to get it until we get back over there. I have a pretty decent guess as to the answer. The question is, do I tell him my guess or keep it from him and swipe the idol the second I get back to Kuwau. Tough choice...

"poukai"

- I'm really sad to see Alissa go because I wanted to work with her and reunite Charlie's Angels once we merged. She was one of the people I really enjoyed talking to and she ended up being screwed over by a swap. Once an angel, always an angel! Emotikon heart

"taieri"

- This whole game has been weird for me. I don't really make friends with guys, and then I'm on a tribe full of them. It didn't last for too long, but all of my close allies in this game are guys... This is so weird.

"kawau"

- I'm struggling to get a Tetris score I'd deem 'good', but it looks like Charlie did well on trivia anyway, so maybe I don't even need a good Tetris score. It would be nice to not be last place on Tetris though

"arapawa"

- I forgot how much I hated Tetris... I think my score probably sucks compared to others and even though I did not throw the challenge... It would be pretty good for me? No one wants to become that huge challenge threat and I don't think the other 2 take challenge performance that much in mind for their tribal decisions. Obviously I'm still gambling on the matter if my alliance with Josh is strong enough and if Jenna won't vote for me. I still feel confident, but having seen Jenna and Josh interact in the group chat for when we were voting out Alissa has raised some doubts. Seeing them talk was like they were talking a language I did not know. Like I'm a tourist who sees locals talk but does not understand. That ain't right. Survivor: New Zealand is my kingdom and they are common peasants living only to serve me. So yeah, maybe they are a lot closer than I know. Let's hope not, because I don't have a lot of confidence in our performance for this challenge. I also just pray there will be another swap after this, being on such a small tribe has been a bit boring and at the same time a bit scary. I also just don't want this game to depend on my "challenge prowess". Quite frankly I don't have much of that.

"poukai"

- I cant deal with 4HII and one post merge this is too much. And with Alex freaking out about them it wont be long till he finds one

"taieri"

- I'm not too sure how we're going to end up doing, but I hope we win. Otherwise, we might tie the vote... and 2 consecutive ties could end up with me leaving...

"taieri"

- I've been really trying to figure out what the situation is with idols. Ci'ere is saying he never found one with his clue, and I've got 4 different guys telling me they never got any clues. I don't necessarily believe Ci'ere, but I think it's likely that no idol is in play yet. Either way I'm going to perpetuate the idea that Ci'ere may have an idol so that we can get the support to blindside him at around the final 7 or 8.

Day 15
"kawau"

- Well color me surprised. My Tetris score actually won. I had a bit of a hard time getting out of bed today, but I'm glad I did when I did because I was just in time for the reward. As usual, I couldn't figure out which item to take, and my best guess resulted in nothing more than an image. If this image is a clue, it's only that there are 8 devil eggs, and I don't know how that could help me. I have a feeling a real clue would be slightly more obvious than that. Anyway, Charlie I quickly caught up with Brian and Berk during the reward. I'm honoring Ci'ere's wishes by not letting any of them know that Ci'ere told me the whole thing is fake. Heck, even if it is fake there's a chance it sticks together anyway; I know how these things work sometimes, and I'm leaving my possibilities open. Arapawa doesn't seem to be doing that well. I've heard Casper will probably be eliminated. That would be sad because he'd be the first Seventh Heaven casualty and the first guy casualty other than Kyle (who is 14 and might not count as a guy... jk).

"poukai"

- I definitely want to keep Dani around because she said she wants to go after the girls. She felt like she was at the bottom of the original Taieri tribe and I could use that to my advantage when the merge comes. I fear that there's a Canadian girls alliance, so that needs to be broken up asap.

"taieri"

- I'm so glad we escaped tribal. This means I don't have to get rid of Cheryl or Brittany yet. Still, I'm worried about Casper and Josh. If either one of them goes home it's a huge change in my plans. Hopefully they stick together and get rid of Jenna, they're both ideally in my final 5.

"kawau"

- Ugh Alex is so annoying.. I can't wait for merge so I can be back with people like Matt, Casper, and Konstantinos!! I miss those boys

"poukai"

- I totally screwed up the New Zealand trivia part of the challenge because of a stupid bird, but I am proud of myself because I didn't give up and after 42 minutes I probably should've. If we have to go to tribal tonight I'm probably on the chopping block. The vote would be based on trust and unluckily for me, Kostas and Pav aren't very reliable.

"taieri"

- Okay, since talkin to Matt P, yesterday during reward, I felt a lil uneasy. A lil more than I already was. He said I was at the bottom, which I kinda already figured I was. I figured Britt & Brian are tight & Matt may be tight with Brian, as well, havin come from the all boys tribe from th start. Well, today, Matt (from my tribe) came to me, wanting to know about some things at reward yesterday. Wanted to know how I got along with Kos, Pov, & Casper. Welllll...those were my boys!! But I didn't lead on that I was that close with them, I did however let him know that I felt alone here & felt safer with them. He then reassured me that I would not be goin home if he could help it, going to rocks if we had to. I let him tell me his plans up to merge & providing the right ppl go, what could be worked after merge. He is good with Josh, closer to him then anyone else. I have not spoken to Josh once. He mentions a F3 deal with me, him, & Josh. This is the first deal coming my way for the finals. But I'm the typa girl that likes to shop around. I would LIKE to meet back up with Kos, I think he will remain loyal to me. We talked a great bit when we were on the same tribe. He never left me out of plans & was open to mine. Ugh, I miss him. Matt mentioned blindsiding him bc he IS a challenge beast. And I know that he is, I know that if he goes to finals & I happen to be beside him, I stand no chance in hell to win. So, ugh, unfortunately, I know he will have to go. I just have to wait, watch, & see & play my cards right. Hopefully I can trust Matt....enough. I mean, why else would he come to me & tell me all his plans when I can totally screw him? Luckily, I don't play villainous....unless someone pisses me off. XOXO

"taieri"

- Brian just made a fake final 4 offer to Brittany (with Chelsea and Faith being the other two) and she totally bought into it. The funny thing is, she reacted the same way when I made her a fake final 3 offer (Faith being the 3rd). Brian and I know that she thinks she's playing the two of us, but really this is just to keep her placated until we blindside her. She's too smart to be controlled, so if we get another immunity challenge with this tribe I'll be throwing it in the most subtle way that I can, mainly to keep my two goats Casper and Josh safe while getting out the 2nd biggest female threat in the game. It'll be a nice way to keep Cheryl with me as well, she'll think I'm saving her.

"poukai"

- I just found the Poukai idol and it's so pretty! I don't want to use it until I feel like I'm in a detrimental position. During the reward, Berk had told me that Kostas and Pav might try to target me because they think Alex, Brian, and I have an alliance... I don't think they'll actually go through with it, but if they do try to pull something out of their bag of tricks then I'll pull out my idol. The other members of the Fab 4, with the exception of Pav, want Kostas out anyways so he better watch himself

"taieri"

- Something's gonna happen after tonight's tribal... I'm scared. So I originally talked Matt out of voting for Britt whenever we had the chance, but I think she needs to go ASAP.

"kawau"

- Maybe it's one of many, but nevertheless I'm thrilled because http://insidesurvivor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/WentIdol.gif and I'm ready to kick ass!