I Can See a Win in My Future/Confessionals

Day 30
"niemand"

- Let me lay out my game plan... I really wanna go to the Final 3 with Adam/Uli. What? What? GO TO THE END WITH ADAM? What an idiot!

Let me explain. So, theoretically, Adam is the "mastermind" of the merged tribe. However, he's also making a LOT of side deals, is playing everyone, and is backstabbing his allies. Therefore, I want to play a Sandra game. Adam can continue to backstab whoever the hell he wants as long as it ain't me, and I'll try and bash him with future jury members. I like Adam personally, but if I can get to the end with someone the jury hates and Uli, well, I'll win. And even if Adam wins, at least I can say I got 2nd twice, or if I get 3rd, I'm in ORG Amanda. It's a win/win/win situation for me, and while this isn't permanent, if I set it up right, I can see a win in my future. ;)

"niemand"

- So.. it seems that this vote is going to be crazier than I thought. I was quite sure that everything was solid in this game.. turns out it wasn't at all. If what Uli says, Taylor, Andrei and Zac might be working against Adam. I am scared for him and I'm honestly thinking about using the idol on him. It would only be fair cause he used his idol on me. But this game is once again taking a toll on me. Sole seems to be really mad and the things that he said to me made me really sad. That's what I hate about this game: breaking promises, taking out people. If I got into the Final Tribal Council, I will probably have to suffer a lot because of the bad comments.,, Maybe Charlie was right.. maybe people will hate me after this season. But what was I supposed to do? When I am in this game, I am supposed to play it. I hate lying, I hate taking people out. I take no pleasure in any of this. But still people seem to be mad cause of it. Now Uli says he wants to take Taylor out. I guess I have two choices: go with Uli and betray Taylor, or betray Uli. And I honestly don't know what to do... I hate how I have to lie in this game..

"niemand"

- So.... Uli is a moron. -_- Right now, the alliances are 3-4-2.

Winners: Gerda, Lloyd, Adam

Others: Zac, Ben, Taylor, Andrei

Spinsters: Uli, Me

I told Uli that the best move is to side with the Winners and take out Taylor/Andrei, and THEN to flip. But he doesn't want to play the "flipper" game. I swear, he's an idiot. YOU HAVE NO POWER RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO FLIP. Yes, is flipping respected? Not that much. What about getting 5th place? Hmm, I'm sure that's WAY better than making the fucking final three. -_-

I swear, some people are just morons. Anyway, Adam found the idol... again. I mean, like, fucking hell, how?! Does he like, shit them out of his ass and into a toilet or something? Only explanation for how he found about, like, THREE. Whatever, I'll move on, but yeah, this vote sucks. If I win immunity, however, this vote is going to be VERY easy. ;)

"niemand"

- Okay, whoever's reading this - the CRAZIEST 24 hours in Survivor history for me. Let's go to last night, Gerda messages me to let me know Uli is targeting me in the "near" future. "NEAR". Then, near changes from one of the next couple of votes, to THIS VOTE. And Zac, Andrei, and Taylor were going ti target me or Gerard in the next vote. I knew we have an idol on our side, so I rallied the troops and Gerard and Lloyd are on completely separate pages. The reason Poly worked out was because the players around me did what I had to, to make the end. This game, no, they're all-stars and are threatened my be - they want me gone. So, they both want different people out, and we leave it at that. I then get a message from Uli, telling me I was his target but he couldn't pull it off and yadda, yadda, yadda. He tries to get me back on his side in a way, and I left the door open. So, I talk to Taylor, and he SWEARS I'm not his target. LOL, sure man. So, I go into immunity completely unsure of what's going to happen. Oh yeah, Gerard also said if the numbers are tied he might flip, great. So, I'm in a rut, and so is Gerda. If we get past this vote, I'm very confident we can make the end of this game. So, first step is to keep myself safe this vote, and I WIN IMMUNITY. I might've burned bridges with Gerard, but I had to do what I had to do to winning. So now, Taylor wants out Uli, and Uli wants out Taylor. I've also been called out for "mistakenly" running this game. Funny, but everyone who I've voted for in the history of my time here has gone home. I'm glad they think that.

But, let's be real. Me/Gerda are the biggest threats by far, and we're going to be targeted. If we get through this vote, and next vote we either find another idol or one of us wins immunity, we'll get to F7. Then it gets VERY messy. I'll be surprised to make it past there, but I'm going to work my ass off to get there. If we vote out Uli, Gerard will flip. If I take out Taylor, Uli will flip to take us out. We're in a hole. I'm just taking it day by day. Don't count me out just yet.

"niemand"

- Shitty shitty shitcakes. I'm an idiot. I've done something really stupid and it will be a miracle of social engineering if I avoid paying the price for it. Uli broached the idea to Zac and Gerard of forming a counter-alliance and they seemed receptive to it so I messaged them to try and shore things up with them. Zac seemed totally down for it. I mean, he had just been screwed over by his entire alliance. Of course bloody Adam wins immunity which royally screws everything up. So Uli decides Taylor will be the target and tells Zac it was my idea even though I told him Zac and Taylor were close. Sometimes I wonder if Uli is just trolling me..... So then Zac had a total meltdown and went and blabbed to Taylor (god this game would be easier if I was hotter). Then Taylor freaks out and asks me why I'm targeting him. I think I managed to convince him it was all a crock (which it basically was). I would hope over a month of being allies was enough to convince him but I threw in some extra things about Uli being a liar and trying to get back at me for voting him, and Zac confusing me targeting Adam for Taylor.

I think I'm ok for now but I'm standing on very shaky ground. I can handle Zac being a little drama queen but if Gerard decides to chime in then I am cooked. Uli thinks he's got him on board and I hope that's true. I should not have got involved with Uli. He has no regard for the consequences of his actions. Taylor has apparently organised Gerard's boot and after my close call I'm happy to just go with that. Uli still wants to try and boot Taylor and I'm like please for the love of all that is my place in this game let it go! He wants Gerard to get Adam and Gerda on board. I can't imagine them wanting to though so if they tell Taylor or Andrei I can't deny my duplicities when it's coming from so many sources. I am a naughtier faun than Mr Tumnus. What a disaster my foray into villainy has turned out to be. I should have left my phone at home...

If I go home this Tribal I will literally cry. I just want to win! Why is everyone making this so difficult! I blame Adam.

Oh yeah, my only comment about Touchy Subjects... Taylor thinks the group perceives me as mistakenly thinking I'm smart? Rude. But at least my strategy seems to be working. Actually, a few more things. Taylor picking Andrei as who he'd most want to win? Rude. Taylor picking Adam as the coolest? Wanting to hang out with him? Thinking he talks too much? They're veritable thick thieves! Maybe I should vote him out.