As Obvious As Santa is Fake/Confessionals

Day 21
"peakoala"

- Voting Pav off was SO hard. I was the one vote on Chelsea but it was basically my choice to boot Pav. I feel really strange about it, like I already miss him. I'm glad Chelsea isn't too angry over it, she says she understands and wants to work together, but the trust is broken. Pav was easily the best overall player in the game and I feel horrible for robbing the fans of a post-merge Pav. I'll never feel good about voting off (and probably losing as a friend) someone who I truly admire and respect, though I really want to win now, and to make that betrayal mean something. I lost my two best friends in this game back to back, and while I have other allies in Josh, Ci'ere, Casper, Kostas, Chelsea etc, the familiarity isn't there. I have to be someone else when I'm talking to them. I'm excited to make the merge but overall I just feel lonely, it's bittersweet. I miss Brian and Pav, but I can't let that show, I need to put on the act a little bit longer and pretend like I'm confident in my decision.

"peakoala"

- It seems like I missed my idol now that we're merged. I was hoping the merge wouldn't be for another episode and I could even stall on a challenge or tribal council vote to buy myself some time. How sad. It makes it seem even more genuine that Ci'ere doesnmt have an idol though. And I think Pav might've had one since he was on Kawau following the first swap, so it's good to see him gone, I guess. Also I am now the oldest player in the game.

"peakoala"

- OMG I HATE BEING OUT OF THE LOOP!!! Berk did this and I will get him back. But for now I need to play nice because of these boys team up then I'll be out very soon and I can't let that happen

"peakoala"

- Ci'ere said we need to talk. And so I started talking. And talking. But he hasn't said more than 2 things to me in that time even though he's clearly online in tribe chat. This makes me think he is busy talking to someone else.

"peakoala"

- I have the most bittersweet feeling about Merge. I just hope I can gather the numbers I need to stay safe, and maybe start feeling out that girl's alliance, that seemed so impossible to make before.

"peakoala"

- So, we're merged, and I don't trust a single person here. Except maybe Alex. Great! I know Berk and Ci'ere are SELFISH AS FUCK players, who will do anything to keep people from targeting them, even if it means throwing me under the bus, which it always does. That just tells me I'm expendable and when I get the chance I'm gonna try to get both of them out. I won't be used like this and just allow it. When the time is right I'll throw them to the wolves and maybe I'll beat them at their own game. Or die trying.

"peakoala"

- So Casper told every one about the majority alliance Brian/Ci'ere/Pav and I had, which means nobody trusts me. I got invited into an alliance with Chelsea/Faith/Brittany/Casper/Kostas, which theoretically would be a final 6. I'm not so ready to blindside Charlie and Ci'ere, so I'm going to buddy up to Kostas and Casper, and hopefully create an alliance with Charlie, Josh, Casper, Kostas and perhaps Daniella after Alex and Ci'ere are voted out

"peakoala"

- So apparently Charlie and Pav threw the Jeopardy Challenge to me. Pav only reluctantly, and I feel bad that he's gone now. At least that is what Charlie is saying. I'm guessing he's honest about it. So Arapawa probably would've lost there. I'll take the win though. And I guess I can keep this in my back pocket as one reason I'm not a total threat... yeah... like that'll have any weight.

"peakoala"

- Who is the idol king??? Who is it? Well not me, but I got lucky. And this idol pretty much ensures my safety. With the craziness happening, I don' t mind some craziness happening, and it will really show where everyone stands!! I am set for this game!!!! Things are not looking so well for Ciere though.

"peakoala"

- How one little lie to entertain myself can name an alliance... I'm really enjoying these kind of little lies about my personal life, I really want to continue that and keep telling a couple each day LOL. On a more serious note, I'm very happy to have merged. But to be honest, with this these players it would've been awkward for me not to make the merge. I think it finally is time for me to go a bit crazy in this game. However for now I'm just going to sit back and chill. The merge sort of resets the game. Many new alliances will be formed and I'm obviously going to say yes to all of them. I really want to figure out where everybody's head is at. Obviously a lot carries over from the premerge, but I do think everyone is a potential ally and a potential target. I'm actually considering targeting Alex. For one he really annoys me, but also because I don't feel like he trusts me. Add that he's doing well in comps and I don't think I can control him and it makes me very wary of him. He targeted Joshua with the Arapawa strong thing, which feels like a potential move against me because I guess it looks like we were pretty close on old Arapawa and he may be more aware of what's going on then I would like to give him credit for. Also, did I already clarify in these confessionals that he annoys me?

Day 22
"peakoala"

- The dust is starting settle, and I believe I'm the swing vote again. Ci'ere/Charlie/Josh/Dani/Alex seem to be grouped against Chelsea/Brittany/Faith/Kostas/Casper. Both sides think I'm with them. My problem is that, all of my allies are divided against each other. Charlie, Josh, Kostas and Casper are the people I need in a final 5, because both would want me as their third. That's how I came up with my plan. I side with Kostas and Caspers alliance of 6, vote out every one but Charlie and Josh, and then Kostas, Casper, Charlie, Josh and I flip on the girls and go f5. If I can get every one on board that's my ticket to f3.

"peakoala"

- Im at that point of the game I absolutely dread. Picking a side. I'm having this huge struggle between picking people who had my back and people that I think have my back. I know going with these guys would be a super easy thing to do, but I feel i'm at the bottom of that alliance. So I am going to have to whip up some magical plan to get rid of hopefully one of their members. The only problem is, I think they are controlling Chelsea and maybe possibly Brittany, and if I go talk to them everything would backfire on me. I guess we will have to see come tribal.

"peakoala"

- The merged tribe name nearly gave me a stroke. I feel like every New Zealander viewing this season is facepalming so hard right now, and I just wanna say to my country; I'm truly sorry I was asleep when they named us after Australia. This is by far the worst name for a tribe I've seen in my entire life. I let you all down by not stopping it. I'll try to bring home the win for us.

"peakoala"

- Alex is just such an anomaly. Without a doubt the worst social player in the game. Like, it's hard for someone outside of the game to understand just how unlikable he is. He's immediately defensive and accusatory, he's intellectually pompous (meanwhile being outwitted by a few teenagers), he's obviously got some kind of imbalance or something. But I think he's my favorite player in the game. He's trying SO hard to win, he cares way more than any one else and I think that raises the level of competition a lot. Yes he's an idiot, but he just might win this thing just through challenge dominance. He should be next to go as soon as he loses, and I don't see that changing, but I'll be rooting for him.

"peakoala"

- also I feel good. i have an alliance with my girls now & I feel like I have each of them on the side. with faith deff being my #1. I think Daniella feels comfortable with me and she's telling me information and says she trusts me 100%. Faith has told me time after time that I'm her ride or die, and Chelsea is p well on her own but still with me I believe since we do talk in pms. Ci'ere is going most likely and I feel good about this game ^.^

"peakoala"

- I think I'll be able to get a perfect score on this challenge, but actually I will be tutoring someone during the final point opportunity or two tomorrow, so there's a chance I will miss those. I'm hoping that by telling the tribe I'll have NO difficulty getting a perfect score, they might mostly stop trying early. It's easier for them to stop now than it is for them to quit if they've already been battling me many hours. All I need is for them to miss 2 of the hour marks and I should safely win.

"peakoala"

- So looking at the challenge score, it seems like Alex is going to beat out Ci'ere, meaning that it's going to be Ci'ere going home. I've thought of Ci'ere as an adversary and a friend throughout all of this. He's an incredibly intelligent kid with such a great knack for relating to people. He managed to really mess up my game by pushing for the Pav blindside sooner than I was ready, and by stealing Charlie away from me, but I made a few more connections with the right people, and I'm going to finally be the one to send gun him home. I hope he can respect my move here, though I anticipate that he's going to be mad. I'm sending him home because he's probably one of the few people that has been able to see through me and understand that I'm not trustworthy, and for that I really respect him. He came extremely close to winning this game.

Day 23
"peakoala"

- HAH! Alex just came to me saying that he wants to vote or Ci'ere.. This is great. He will think this was his decision when in fact it was me who stared the ball rolling with my alliance. Oh Ci'ere you really screwed yourself with how fake you are!

"peakoala"

- Kostas reports that Ci'ere made an alliance with all the guys except me. I don't really care for Ci'ere's 'Friends' alliance anyway, so I'm really thinking this is a great time to vote Ci'ere out, which is what I think Kostas and some of his allies want to do.

"peakoala"

- I'm honestly so bored with this game right now. Yeah, I'm obviously aware that I'm a target and I could be going home tonight. But I'm just so bored and uninspired by my fellow players. They all seem so unimaginative, predictable and to be honest they are all a bit boring. I've care more about pieces of underwear I've thrown away because they had holes in them, than that I care about anyone in this cast. And if they at least were playing the game well, I maybe would be slightly entertained but come on. Yes, Matt I (and pretty much everyone) know that you're playing both sides and are well connected. It's as obvious as Santa is fake, only small children would believe you right now. Yes, Ci'ere I know you are creating a gazillion alliances. Yes, Charlie I know you're pretty much hiding behind Ci'ere. Yes, Alex I know you're still pissed about me blindsiding you with the Brian vote. Yes, Josh I'm aware you're playing dumb with me and are pretty much doing much the same as Matt. Yes, Kostas I know you're right now close to me, but I also know you would never go to the finals with me. Yes, Chelsea, Brit, Faith great job integrating yourself in the new tribe and keeping girls safe. And yes Dani, amazing how you're just floating under the radar doing nothing... I know it's probably Ci'ere or me tonight, but it annoys me that I'm even a target here. Even when I try to make it look like I suck, people are targeting me. Alex apparently said, I think we should vote for Casper, because otherwise he makes it far... What kind of logic is that? I guess the same logic that tells him it's smart to set himself up as huge comp threat and the same logic that tells him it's smart to annoy people to death with his spam in the tribe chat. Right now, I'm not working that hard to stay. Obviously I'm not saying anything stupid and although I have been tempted to blow Matt's and Ci'ere's shit up in public, I feel like I'm still staying, even though I'm not really scrambling. I think Ci'ere is actually pretty much doing all the hard work for me. Still, I do know I may be gone tonight. Matt is not working very hard to get the target of me with Ci'ere, Charlie, Alex, Josh and Dani. So maybe he's intending to vote me out after all. Anyways, I hope to get my head back in the game if I survive this round. But right now I'm feeling kinda done with this game and these people. I probably just need a drink or something LOL.

"peakoala"

- Chelsea, Kostas, Casper, and I... I wonder if that alliance has any potential. I haven't proposed it yet, but I was speaking with Kostas, Chelsea, and Faith, and they agree to vote Ci'ere. Chelsea is now speaking to Casper, which I guess means they're close. And Kostas and Casper were always people I wanted to work with. Plus Chelsea is the only woman left out of both "Arapawa Strong!" and "Friends", so she might be a bit short on allies. I strengthened my relationship with her (or perhaps screwed myself over) by telling her about the idol clue I got (but didn't get the idol for) on Arapawa. I didn't actually show the clue; I just explained that we do in fact know that clues come from the rewards and that it's pretty clear when you get one. I also told Kostas about that clue, as I didn't want the info circling back to him through other channels first - that could make him distrust me, and right now I think and hope we have a pretty good bond. Would he cut me? Maybe, but I don't think he'd do it right now.

"peakoala"

- Kostas opened up to me about getting a Kawau clue right before the second swap, and he said he'd guess Stephanie (from an actual Survivor season) if he had another chance. This of course means that if we somehow get back on Kawau, I'm going to try to guess Stephanie incredibly quickly. And if I end up back on Arapawa I'm going to guess a female Survivor on the blue team from the 17th season of real Survivor. Probably the one who did the best on that team.

"peakoala"

- I think a Kostas is the front runner in this game. Who'd have thought it, the annoying Greek dude who came into the game too late and got excluded from the majority alliance is now the biggest challenge threat with the most friends. I'll wait until about final 5 and then make my move. I'm not gonna get 9-0'd at FTC.

"peakoala"

- It is possible that Berk is going to blindside me or Casper today. He is being so ooo I lov you guys. But he has voted for everyone that I trusted so far. Cheryl and Pav. (btw potato that' s a secret message to the VL). I don' t want to have to use my idol this early. This will be my only hope to get Berk out.

"peakoala"

- I did the cliche and now last minute the target seems to be shifting from me to Chelsea I'm being told. So sad. I trust this all to be true for now. If it is: when do these kids realize that the best strategy for Survivor is just to keep your mouth shut? If it isn't: Bye, I guess?

"peakoala"

- Drama. More drama. Casper being upset with me and worried. Me not wanting to talk with Casper about it until after the vote because I like the idea of him being worried and thus maybe using an idol. Hoping Ci'ere gets eliminated. Vote results can't come soon enough.

"peakoala"

- actually think I might be going to night. I think Ci'eres going to play an idol and he and Charlie will vote for me. I just realized that those two are probably way closer than they let on, and Ci'ere probably found an idol with the clue. Damn, this would be a bad way to go.