OUTLAST HIS SNAKE WHORE LYING WAYS/Confessionals

Day 30
"sparrow"

- "I feel like Natalia is two timing. I was loyal ish to Elmo, but he went for.. U know hold on. Jake and I have randomly started talking and furnished a connection in time for tribal. Karsten exposed yousef. Yousef blew up his game by spilling to Su. Su ran to his fuck buddies elmo and brad. Ethan likes me. Su Elmo Karsten need to go. Then Natalia. I have great bonds w the guys who im not allied w??? brad gone is SOOO GOOD for my game. I'm hyped. I'm actually gonna try in touchy subjects for once LIIIIT ok ya Here have an exerpt of me when I was pissed earlier I dont feel the same way anymorw but its funny and ep titles. i my brain I WILL SHANK ELMO AND TAKE HIS ASS OUT OF THE GAME IF ITS THE LAst thiNG I DO HEAR ME NOW I WILL OUTLAST HIS SNAKE WHORE LYING WAYS I DONT CARE IF HE GETS 9TH AND I GET 8th THIS MAN THINKS HE CAN PLAY ME HES WRONG. you don’t MESS with andrea geiger.

i am a mess pray for me I have halved my previous placement"

"sparrow"

- "So the Bradley plan went off with a lot of hitches! So just before the vote, Yousef decides to let Su in on the plan. After our entire alliance of 5 repeatedly told him that it wasn't a good idea, and that he would tell bradley/elmo. Wanna take a guess at what happened? SU TOLD BRADLEY AND ELMO. So Bradley runs to me and is understandably upset, and I assured him it was a lie, and that I don't know what Su is talking about. So suddenly the plan shifted to Elmo/Bradley/Su/Karsten/Me are going to be voting for Jake, and we will be flushing Yousef's idol by making him think it's him. Which was DEFINITELY not in my best interest, but I told them what they wanted to hear, just in case an idol was played, they would have the votes to stay and not use it. The votes came out... 5-4 and Bradley was sent home. Thank god that plan worked. Now I feel as if Natalia/Andrea/Yousef/Jake/Myself are now in a good position moving forward. Now we have an open playing field! Well... with one land mine. *looks at Karsten*.

I do not know where to begin with this man. Every single conversation I have had with him, he has been nothing but dismissive, sarcastic, and passive aggressive towards me. After the Hunter vote that I was left out of, I wasn't able to explain myself before he called me out for lying to him (meanwhile, he was lying to me about who he was voting for, so he is definitely not being a hypocrite or anything). And just would not take anything I said to him at face value, even though I TOLD him about the plan to blindside him before the vote, so that if he had an idol, he could save himself. And now he is saying that because I lied to him again, I literally NEVER had his back the entire game, and have been playing him, when the only reason he wasn't the first merge boot, was because Hunter and I stuck our necks out for him, and Hunter (thankfully) took the heat for that, and my social game kept me out of the line of fire in that round. He's mad at me because I told him 10 minutes before the deadline, so I ask ""Would it have made any difference if I told you hours before hand? Would you have told me about the Hunter vote?"" And he says ""Nah"". Pardon? So he is enraged at me, for BOTH telling him too late, and then also saying that it wouldn't have mattered if I told him earlier. I literally cannot win with this man. Everything anyone does is not good enough for him. He's also mad at Jake for voting Bradley, saying its a bad move, meanwhile he was voting for Jake! The amount of mental gymnastics this man can perform is astounding, I'm surprised he doesn't have the gold medal. He constantly ends our conversations with ""We're done here"" and ""We don't need to talk anymore"" and thank god, because it is so hard to not stoop down to his level (which I admittedly did once, after he cut me off, and made the 15th jab at me in a row, I made a sassy remark, and he threw it back in my face. So suddenly I'm the asshole after he's been hammering me for the last 20 minutes and I've been nothing but respectful, okay.)

Speaking of the game, I have totally been playing the victim card to everyone, and I think I'm getting some sympathy, and putting a target on Karsten, because for right now, him leaving asap is good for my game because I don't see a way we can get past this and work together. I'll try my damnedest, he just will not buy anything I'm selling.

I come to these games to play a game, have a fun time, and it's people like him, that bring it to this personal, rude, un-fun level that are the worst. It just sucks all the joy out of the game for me, because he is actively antagonizing and throwing personal jabs out there whenever he gets the chance. He used to be such a nice guy back in the pre-merge, and everyone agrees! I don't know what has happened in his personal life recently to act this way, but I want Karsten to go back to the cool dude I once knew. He was honestly so fun to talk to, he made me laugh, we shared personal stories. But that is all over now. I have told him many times that when he looks at these confessionals, he will see that I was being true about wanting to keep him past the 2nd merge vote, that I actually did have a personal interest in having him in the game. I'm just heated right now in the moment. I hope once everything cools down, and when this game is over, we can patch things up and keep the game stuff, in the game. "

Day 31
"sparrow"

- "Been a while since the last confessional, and at this point the tribe is pretty split down the middle, or so it seems. I was targeted once again last round, which isn't super surprising because I have no solid loyalties to anyway. I was essentially a free agent, and so of course these geniuses decided to just throw votes on me lol. I'd made major strides with Natalia and Andrea the night before, however, and I think this probably saved my ass. I was originally safe, but in the last hour before deadline Yousef fucked up and tried bringing Su in on the vote despite us all telling him not to, and then of course Su leaked the plan, and hence Karlsten was no longer the target from that group, I was. I personally wanted the target to stay on Bradley even though that plan leaked, because Yousef told me he felt bad and would be setting a condition to play an idol on me if they'd used one on Bradley. In that case, I would have two idols played and still be safe. Worth the risk that Yousef was just talking shit.

Bradley left, and Karsten immediately starts messaging me acting like I'm a moron for taking Bradley out while Elmo has an idol. Meanwhile Karlsten just...voted for me over Yousef or Ethan, despite crying every hour about how they have idols? So, uh, yeah. That was a fun conversation. I think Karlsten just doesn't really know how to play the game from the bottom - he's a mess this season. Everyone wants to take him out this round, but I'm not sure about that. Karlsten is the perfect example of a goat who thinks they've been doing much more than anyone will be giving them credit for at the end. If I'm at the end with him, I'm pretty sure I win even if he'll do the obligatory ""I was on the bottom all game"" speech you see every other season. I'd like to save him this round and finally slap an idol or two out of this game.

...but nobody else seems to be into this idea, LOL. Natalia is the only one who has entertained it, but even then she immediately shot down the idea of taking Elmo out. See, my idea was to put our votes on Elmo, make it obvious that he's leaving, then watch him use his idol to take out Ethan or Yousef with his own vote. It's super risky, but wow would it ever be flashy and effective. I suspect Natalia and Elmo are secretly tight and working together behind all of our backs. When I told her we may need to vote Elmo, she immediately shot it down, and then Elmo completely changed his tone after in my convo with him. I've expressed this to Ethan. He did not want to hear it, LOOL. I'm literally...just so perplexed by how rigid people are right now. Nobody seems to want to consider anything I'm saying to them. I COULD just be like ""Fuck all y'all"" and flip on my own along with my double vote, but in doing that I almost for sure burn a jury vote, and possibly burn another one or two in the people I ""backstabbed"" to get their own work done for them. If I had my choice, I'd be slapping Ethan or Yousef here, but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards unless I want to lose. I tried to be creative with it, too, but it just isn't coming to fruition. At this point I just have to hope they do something sketchy to justify the flip, or at least one other person wants to flip with me so it's not just me taking all the negative SPV.

Su/Karlsten/Andrea, the three people I feel I could potentially beat at the end. I don't like taking the easiest of the group out this round, plus I've put effort into trying to have Karlsten think I suck so he'd be fine taking me to the end. If I turn around now and stick him on jury, he'll just be talking shit about me for like 2 weeks probably LOL. Fuck. It's frustrating, but I do think there's a higher chance of me grabbing that vote than whoever I'd end up having to burn this round flipping on my new alliance that just saved me. It's tough, but that's Survivor. We'll see if anything changes over the rest of the round."

"sparrow"

- "So here I am on Day 31 of Survivor! We are a few hours before the tribal deadline, and allegedly the ""Cow Field"" alliance of Me/Andrea/Nat/Yousef/Jake (that voted together last tribal) are voting Karsten. However, I'm getting that same sinking feelings that I got when Hunter was blindsided. Andrea and Nat both went quiet, were 100% agreeable, and wouldn't give a name except the one you said. They would agree quickly, and concisely in the alliance chat. Some major blindside flags are going off in my head right now. I feel like I have learned the tells of a lot of these people when they are lying, and I just can't shake this feeling that I'm getting played again. Me and Yousef have been trying to see what is going on, and have been speculating about what could be happening. Nat and Andrea need 4 votes to get a blindside off. Because according to Yousef, Nat actually wanted Jake to go if he didnt win immunity... which is kinda scary. So I don't think they would include Jake. That means that they need 2 of either Elmo/Su/Karsten, or possibly all 3. The thing is, it makes a LOT of sense for Andrea and Nat to want to vote off Yousef or Myself this round, because they have Elmo in their back pocket still, and then they would just need one more vote, and boom, they have the majority in the next vote as well. SCARY STUFF. I ended up telling Andrea that I was nervous about the vote, and she said ""I promise that I am not voting you"" which is a weird thing to say, because that is very different from ""I promise I am voting for Karsten"" which is something that really should have been said instead. Little things like this are adding up, and as much as I WANT to trust Nat and Andrea, I think they are playing way harder than these other people are giving them credit for. I feel like I'm the only one who can see this trio of Elmo/Natalia/Andrea, and nobody wants to take a shot at them, because each person has a good relationship with at least 2/3 of them, so they think it would be a bad move for them to vote one of them out.

So, I don't wanna rattle the cage too much yet, but if it keeps on this track of people being suspicious, if an hour before the deadline, and nothing has changed, this Karsten move may be going overboard, and I may be busting out my idol. Only time will tell though."

"sparrow"

- "This is probably my last confessional. I'm going to be voted out shortly, which is probably for the better considering I've lost my motivation to play this game. I don't particularly enjoy talking to over half of the players left, and I've felt at a disadvantage since the second tribe swap. I've been behind the 8-Ball the whole game socially, strategically, and regarding challenges. This is definitely the worst I've played in any ORG, and it's frustrating wasting a month of my adult life trying to make 16 year olds understand why flushing idols is necessary earlier rather than later. And to top it all off, they vote me as ""villain of the season"" probably because I don't keysmash every five seconds.

I wish I could say I enjoyed playing this ORG, but I really didn't. In every org I've been a part of, I was able to find 1-3 people I felt like I really gelled with and could trust. In this game, I didn't establish that level of relationship with anyone. Literally zero people. And not for lack of effort. Trying to get two coherent sentences out of Andrea is harder than 15 hour brain surgery. That's just one example.

I'm proud of how long I survived, and I believe my few social bonds I had helped me in part-- as well as me making up that completely bogus idol checker item that caught Yousef out. I'm going to be proud of that move and i'm not going to let anyone minimize it.

Peace"

"sparrow"

- "So it turns out that Nat has been playing even HARDER than I thought since my last confessional. So Natalia came to me and said ""We should make a big move and target someone in out alliance"" and she suggested Yousef or Andrea (But selected Yousef) so it turns out that she went to Yousef and asked him if he wanted to vote for me. So Natalia has been a very sneaky player trying to pull off a major blindside. What I don't think her or anyone else was suspecting, was for me and Yousef to have become to close so quickly, that we told each other right away and figured out what was going on. Thank god Yousef and I were able to get over our bullshit so quickly, and get into this place of trust in just under a round.

So now It looks like Myself/Andrea/Jake/Yousef are going to be voting together, and the other 4 are going to be voting together as well. Jake has a double vote which he said he will be using to try and give us the majority, (and maybe pass it to someone in case someone from that side has the Mask of Restrict if he's allowed) and try to stop him from using his double vote. It very well may go to rocks, or someone could flip and I could get sent home. I do NOT want to use my idol this vote if I have to, because I can see myself needing it a lot more down the line. This is another vote that is coming down to the wire, and everything has blown up once again an hour before the deadline... as it normally does.

I'm just hoping that the bonds I have made with these people is strong enough that if it DOES go down to rocks, that they will stick it out for me, after all the odds are in our favour since Jake won immunity. That would be crazy if I could get a group of people in 2 different seasons to put their lives on the line and go to rocks for me. Shout-out to Rome! You were awful!

Anyways, this is the vote that has me the most on edge, because it is MY name on the chopping block, which is not a great feeling. I'm lucky I haven't had to experience it up to this point, but all things must come to an end, just as the sun rises over the sea! Will I run out of horrible sea and sailing references? Only if I get voted out of the game! Hopefully there will be a life-ring I can grab onto at the other side of this vote."