That Makes Me the Queen/Confessionals

Day 35
"akitaipu"

- This is by far the most I've been conflicted when it comes to a vote. I feel like I can't put into writing how conflicted I am emotionally and strategically... This confessional is short but still, Chris said we're going to lose our friendship over this and it makes me feel like shit but ultimately I came to play and at the moment I feel like this is the move that could get me to ftc with a group that could see me win. Maybe Brett's against me, who knows, but by keeping Chris in I throw away any chance of winning.

"akitaipu"

- Me when Mr Chris confirms to Jamie that he was flipping on me next round But I striked first ! Jaredconf.jpg

"akitaipu"

- Final 5 bitches! With Chris gone the way I see it now, it's going to be Brett flipping to my side to voting Jamie out (so he can win F4 immunity) and then he's going to vote me out at the Final 4 and take Jared/Claire to the FTC and win. Honestly? I know I have a better chance at beating Jamie than Brett but I'd rather face Brett in a fire tie-breaker than Jamie, that's for sure. Also, having Jared/Jamie as a voting bloc in the final 4 is extremely dangerous. As of right now I have Claire believing I'm under her control when it's clearly the other way around. She thinks she can micromanage me and believes she will win the game with me there and I hope she keeps thinking that so she could fall right into my plan. I don't blame Brett for flipping because I've known for a long ass time that Brett is no minnow and has as much guts to flip and make moves as i do. Also LMAOOO, when Jared fights me over not being Jamie's sheep but then he wastes his idol that could've gotten him to F4 on Jamie. As of right now my plan is to get rid of Jamie and Brett consecutively and make it to the end with Claire and Jared, at this point I would think that's everyone's plan. These people underestimate me challenge wise and have no idea how hard I've had to fight socially and strategically to be here, harder than anyone. I didn't need to win an immunity challenge to stay safe, unlike Jamie I was able to win people over socially and make them believe I was on there side. I've also done a lot of crazy and risky shit to be here; Gif Challenge to make Jamie/Ash distrust each other and trust me which got me past the second swap, Letting Jamie/Jared believe I was more loyal than Ally ever would be, Made a strong ride or die relationship with every single person in my alliance, Sora's blindside, convinced others that my "hatred" and "disdain" is so strong for Jamie/Jared that keeping me around would keep them in the clear and so on and so forth. The end is so close and I can taste it, but I see myself getting Day 38 yet again, even 36.

"akitaipu"

- I'm more content then I thought I would be but I'm in the final 5 this is crazy!

"akitaipu"

- I don't know whether turning on Chris was really worth it. I feel like it was by far the most cold-blooded move I ever made - he'd protected me non-stop ever since the merge and even at the last vote. I feel like shit right now lol. Then again, he did try to get Brett against me in the last few hours so that Brett would eliminate me JUST so he was right in saying that Brett would turn on me, but still... that was by far the worst move in a human sense that I've ever made. I'm not even sure whether it was worth it, I'm feeling like I should've just given Chris the win and accepted 2nd but have been there with a friend at FTC... I don't know 😕. If Brett does turn on me this TC then it definitely was NOT worth it at all... we'll see.

"akitaipu"

- Ok shitting myself, four days away from day 39 that’s actually wild I can’t believe I am here. Right now it’s pretty obvious that I am the swing vote and honestly I wish I had more time to really think this through strategically but I am really busy in my real life so I won’t be able to give this decision as much thought as I would like to.

It’s apparent that it’s Claire/Alexa vs Jamie/Jared and I am in the middle. I have to weigh the pros and cons here because I can’t fuck this up. On one hand Jamie/Jared are the stronger competitors and I will have more trouble with immunities when they are around, but on the other hand they are both kind of goats and I will have no problem winning against them in the end. On top of that they are both promising me that they want to take me to the end and they aren’t just doing it because they are in danger, they have been saying that for awhile now.

Claire I don’t fucking trust at all. She comes to me after the Chris vote and was like “one big dog down, one to go” I actually wanted to spit in her face and laugh right there. She had an absurd amount of opportunities to take out Jamie or Chris with me and she never followed through, she was literally too scared of Chris to do anything on her own. She also told me she had never lied to me and I wanted to gauge my eyes out with a stick because as she said that she was literally lying to my face. I don’t see why working with her now in the game would benefit me at all she’s such a snake and I know once Jamie is gone she will be coming after me. I also know that she has super tight relationships with both Chris and Ash so that could be two potential votes for her if she were to make FTC. She has also been the middle person/double agent for a ton of the post merge votes so she does have some form of story to present to the jury if she gets there.

Alexa is really sneaky and has played a great game, I feel like at this point I can make a case and win against anyone left, but Alexa is the only one that I feel like I would have a tough time making a case against because she really has played a great game.

For this upcoming vote I am kind of leaning towards voting out Alexa for a few reasons

-She has an irrational hate against Jamie/Jared and by placing her on jury right now she could taint the jury even more against Jamie/Jared (benefiting me if I were to end up with them in F2 or F3)

-She’s played a great game and could have a compelling story if she were to make FTC (she’s been in the bottom since we merged yet somehow she’s made final 5)

-She voted against me last round without hesitation and I don’t see why she wouldn’t do it again

I know going with Jamie and Jared right now could be viewed as a stupid move but I feel like I trust them more than Alexa/Claire to not take me out next round, as well I know that they are the perfect goats for me to drag to the end. If I take out Jamie this round then I know I become public enemy #1 and have to win my way out, at least by going with Jared/Jamie I have some sense of security (no matter how small it is) that they might consider taking me to the end. I am confident enough in my immunity challenge skills that I will be able to beat them in the next immunities.

I just pray to whatever fucking god there is that this game is going to be a final three and not a final two because that’s what I am planning my game around right now 😕

"akitaipu"

- I literally just spent FIVE HOURS on immunity, with hopes that I'll be able to finally win it! I made an effort to patch things up with Jamie in case she wins immunity again and I need to work with her to survive yet another vote, which won't be easy but I'm not giving up no matter how hard it is.

My plan right now is if Jamie loses to take her out and then take Brett out at F4 and go to the end with Claire and Jared thus setting myself up for an easy win potentially. I need to keep stringing Brett along because he's not the type to fall for things easily so I need to scheme and strategize with him as if I was actually serious about taking him to the end, which he needs to believe. They all need to continue to be blinded about my abilities so I can slither my way to the end. I didn't need to win every challenge to make it here, all I needed was my social and strategic skills and boom, I made shit happen and I'm so grateful to have had this chance to do this again.

The end is so near I can taste it and in this game you're either get used or become the user. And I am the user, I refuse to bow down to Jamie and let her use me to make moves happen that benefit her game and not mine, no way. I need to slowly rebuilding a working relationship with Jared to ensure that once Jamie is gone he believes that keeping me around is better for his game than Brett I just have to. Goddd I want to make it to the end of this game and win sooo badly but I see myself getting Day 38 again, I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening!

"akitaipu"

- Me when I say I'm not gonna win and say that it sucks because I'm pretty much going out this round if I don't and she agrees with me. Jamieconf.gif

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- Honestly if I lose this immunity and go then I can be content knowing I tried as hard as I possibly could... I included stats, cited my sources, made like 7 pics! We'll see how it goes.

"akitaipu"

- Brett thinks he's slick trying to rally the votes against me, you think I wouldn't catch on huh? I need to flip this around and I won't stop until it happens.

Day 36
"akitaipu"

- I lost the challenge by 3 points and I'm SO devastated... With brainless Claire on this tribe, it's not going to be easy to pull a rabbit out of a hat for this one. I've been a cat with nine lives this whole season dodging bullet after bullet but this may finally be the silver one and all because of Claire's stupidity and unwillingness to make a move, god why not abstain from the Final Tribal Council now huh Claire? And to think I had so much respect for her in Tikal, fuck that! With Jamie's paranoia looming I decided to be straight up with her and basically we've both admitted we're voting for each other and honestly I'm glad we patched things up because I want this always be a wonderful memory for me, one in which I gave the game all I had and never gave up and I'm sure as hell not going to now! Although these could be the last 6 hours for me in the game I'm going to keep trying until I'm officially out of this game and I know I can win it god, I'm so close. I'm not going out without taking one final shot at Jamie, because unlike Claire/Jared I'm not afraid of risking my life in the game to make a move, my ass is on the line anyways so if I go out it's with a bang and a bang it will be. Things are probably hopeless right now but I'm going to turn it around, I've done it before and I sure as hell can do it now!

"akitaipu"

- I'm happy with the choice I made of getting Chris out for two main reasons. He was clearly winning the game if he got to the end and I felt like he didn't want me to go farther in the game because he knew Jamie would choose me over him and he basically confirmed that to her. I feel bad for Jamie because they were close and he was pretty loyal to her but I'd rather risk her game than mine. Right now I want to try to save Jamie because I know she wouldn't vote me out over the people left. I'm just nervous because I'm supposed to be working with Claire and Brett separately but I don't want to push too hard for her to stay if they're not really being loyal to me. I'm trying my hardest to push the "bros" thing with Brett and make him think he can easy manipulate me so hopefully that works.

"akitaipu"

- Claire honestly is so pathetic. First she abstains from every challenge, fails to make people believe she's loyal to them because she's the worst flipper ever and now she wants to do some stupid plan with Brett over JAMIE? (also FYI, Jamie/I have genuinely fixed our problems) God damn it Claire, are you playing for Sole Survivor or equestrian of the year? You literally rode Chris like a horse to the Final 6 and have the nerve to tell people that you think you can beat them because you're such a big threat (lol)?

The odds are against me right now but they have been this entire season and I've always been able to make a flip happen. Things are definitely very hard right now but I'm going to keep fighting till I'm officially out of this game.

"akitaipu"

- me wakes up with a revelation that I need to vote Jamie out this round so I have a better chance in the FIC, only to realize that Claire has tried to flop to Jamie 😂 so I guess I'm back on board to voting Alexa???

"akitaipu"

- As soon as tribal was posted I didn't waste any time getting to work except I'm not sure Brett's brain works LMAO... he thinks its more logical for her to save Jamie over me? Totally! The girl who has Jared wrapped around her finger and is just going to goat her and drag her to the end, it's Final 5 when are you going to start making moves! This is honestly so upseting that I've been targeted this entire game JUST because I have the guts to take risks and make a move. Jamie is literally BEGGING me not to vote her out when I'm literally going to be the one voted out like I'm sorry but I'm not the type of person you can micromanage and while we've made up on personal levels, you can't control me Jamie and I refuse to bow down to you. Also, I tried flipping Jared over but clearly he's hopeless and thinks he can fool me saying he'd go after Jamie so easily? Byeee! Literally people are going to keep around such a huge threat just because they don't have the balls to make a move retalaiting against the person who's won basically every chall and the hearts of some the jurors. I'm dumbfounded by this bonehaded move these people are deciding to make because god do they really think using her as a shield will get them the win? Not with my vote that's for fucking sure.

"akitaipu"

- ok so last night I really like questioned what I should do this round and thought it out as strategically as possible and eventually I came to the conclusion that I needed to take Jamie out just because I don't feel confident in people taking me to the end so I NEED to win that final immunity challenge and Jamie is my biggest competitor. But this morning I wake up to find out that Claire has been trying to flip to Jamie and Jared to take out Alexa. She's such a fucking spineless snake that girl, her game has been so pitiful and I'm so excited for the day I finally get to drag her about it. So yeah I guess as of now I'm back onto voting Alexa, but I'm going to make sure I benefit from it. I want to try and get Alexa to make it seem like Claire is a big threat on her way out the door, just to plant future helpful seeds. And I pray to god Alexa goes to the jury and just slanders Jamie and Jared tainting the jury against them so I have a better chance at the end.

"akitaipu"

- So I tried appealing to Jared and god he is so far up Jamie's ass that he doesn't realize that by making this move against Jamie he removes the stigma of him being seen as her mindless bitch which he is and also automatically sets himself up to make the Final Tribal Council. He's so reluctant to make moves that it's honestly saddening that I'm going to go home for PLAYING the game and fighting my ass off to stay in while others are going to be rewarded for pure sheepery and it honestly sucks. I need to ensure that Claire is on board to keep me around but she is so freaking blinded by Jamie's lies that she's dumb enough to keep her, I wouldn't put it past her. To say I'm nervous is a major understatement and I've been trying to do whatever it takes to survive yet another vote but things aren't looking so good, I still have hope I can turn this around but this is looking like a whirpool of dark clouds. To think I was 3 pts in the immunity away from the immunity flabberghasts me.

"akitaipu"

- So Alexa is trying to campaign to me to vote off Jamie. In general, the idea of me voting Jamie off might make me look good to the jury but that doesn't automatically make it a good move. The jury is basically filled with Alexa's friends and she's backstabbed me twice so I have no trust with her while with Jamie I do and neither of us are that liked with people who have gone out. It's just too risky of a move to make that will probably not have a good result for me.

"akitaipu"

- I’ve survived 36 days in this game and I am so not ready to go home, god I know I have the potential to win this game if I can only make it there. From day 1 on Hizoku

I’ve had to fight to keep a huge target off and have had to pull off a countless number of stunts and schemes to make it past every milestone in the game. Sabotaging the gif challenge, surviving the Rebels tribe, convincing Jamie to work with me at the swap, rebuilding trust with Jamie/Jared even after betraying them and was able to cause Ally to go home over me and basically escaped all odds, solidifying myself with Hunter/Charley/Ash, taking part in flipping the vote to blindsiding Emile, flipping the votes at F9 to save Chris and send home Sora with an idol.

Also proved I was ruthless by stealing Hunter’s fake idol for myself and I’ve basically been in an underdog position this entire game and have had to constantly adapt myself to new allies to create the ever-changing voting blocs that this game had.

I couldn’t get too attached to an ally because before I knew it I either had to blindside them or was blindsided. I’m proud of how far I’ve come but 5th place isn’t enough for me, I need the title of Sole Survivor! I want to win this game sooo bad and I know if I’m able to flip the votes and earn the right to plead my case at the end that I could most definitely accomplish this feat and make my ORG dream a reality, and get the happy ending I’ve always strived for.

To say this game has been difficult but worth playing is an understatement and I’m not stopping until my manga’s black and white, I’ve fought way too hard to come up short only days before the end, not letting it happen. I have such a respect and love for this game that I just cannot be the type of person to sit back and do nothing when their ass is on the line it’s just not possible for me.

"akitaipu"

- So it appears that it's either me or Alexa going, and based on what I've heard, it's her. It could obviously be me but I don't know why I'd be lied to lol - Brett and me also exchanged collateral and I don't know why he'd do that if he was going to flip on me. It actually makes no sense for him to flip on me or Jared - I genuinely DO want to go to FTC with him if it's a F3... Anyway, I just need to pray that Alexa goes this TC and I survive.

If I'm being lied to for NO reason then I will be kinda mad lol!

"akitaipu"

- I'm SO nervous going into these vote results god, I have a gut feeling that it's going to be me going home based on the vibes I've been getting the past 24 hours and I'm not ready for this adventure to be over, I campaigned my ass off to Claire and Brett and all I can do is hope that they're smart enough to vote out Jamie (even though Jamie has 0 shot at getting most jury votes if you think about it) over me. I've dodged so many bullets in this game and have fought hard to make it here, let's hope I can continue my streak.

Day 37
"akitaipu"

- It's Tikal all over again I'm either winning or getting 4th again holy shit

"akitaipu"

- HWAT THE FUUUUUUUCK ME AND JARED ARE THE LAST TWO REBELS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SEASON IM SO SHOOK.............

"akitaipu"

- FUCKING HELL BRETT WE HAD THIS AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO IS *AAAAAAA*

"akitaipu"

- I'm honestly so pissed off right now because had I known claire was legit being honest I would have voted jamies ass off in a heartbeat. Like fuck had her and I had the opportunity to have a chat before the vote we could have had a chance to be on the same page, but like how can I be expected to trust someone I haven't spoken to in 12 hours over someone who is telling me everything I want to hear. It's a huge miscommunication on both mine and Claire's parts, that would never happen on real life survivor because we would have had a chance to talk but this is an online platform so I just gotta roll with the punches. Hindsight is 20/20 and with the information I knew last round I think I made the best decision for my game. Obviously with what I know now it was fucking terrible decision but I can't let the past haunt me, I just need to win this FIC

"akitaipu"

- THROW FUCKING BACK TO THIS. HOW FAR WE'VE COME LMFAO http://imgur.com/sBpGKHP

"akitaipu"

- gah well at least I still have moves that I can make, I'm not out yet, Jamie tells me she wants to take me to the end but I don't believe her but like the hope is there. And maybe claire and I can force a tie next round idk fuck

"akitaipu"

- Brett losing is prob the best case for me because hopefully if we do tie they go for brett and not me so feeling pretty good rn I won a part of the challenge I don't think I'm gonna win immunity but it's nice I got some points

"akitaipu"

- Maybe I was correct with my initial assumption in taking Alexa out last round because I don’t stand a fucking chance in this immunity challenge haha. I have a life outside this game and it’s exam period I refuse to put an ORG before my real life; that being said I am still going to try but like I don’t have 24 hours to dedicate myself to holding my hand on an idol or studying for a quiz. If I am to lose which I think I will, I still have options. Maybe Jamie has actually been telling the truth about wanting to take me, or maybe I will be able to make sure Jared votes with me and I go to a tie breaker round against someone. Idk I still have wiggle room but not much, I am honestly going to be so devastated if I go out as the final juror again.

"akitaipu"

- So we're reaching the end - Jared's been acting strange over the past 48 hours, but has been more normal over the past few hours after I told Brett that I thought Jared was acting strange. Coincidence? Probably LOL it's probably just me being paranoid but STILL!!! I feel like I MUST win this immunity or else I'm gone, so I put in every moment of free time into getting a good score in the flash game and puzzle. As for the endurance, Jared gave me 2nd place after I pretty much forced it lol. IF CLAIRE WINS FIC THOUGH... I'M GONNA CRY BECAUSE IDK WHAT I'D DO. I mean I do lol, I'd target BRETT but still... as long as I get 1st in the puzzle and flash then 2nd in endurance... it'd be almost insurmountable for Claire. WE'LL SEE.

Day 38
"akitaipu"

- SO I WON 'FINAL' IMMUNITY. Claire should be going simply because if the jury is voting on best game, then I truly believe I'd win over Brett and Jared. If they're voting on personal reasons, then I think Claire would win and I truly think that'd be a bad way to end the season, not because Claire is a bad player but the post-merge of Archetypes has been explosive and Claire's gameplay is very nuanced and UTR and I just don't think it'd fit the season. Also she abstained from every challenge lol.

NOW, in the immunity results, it didn't say that I got a chance to plead my case to the jury and shit? Accident? SECRET FINAL 2 LIKE RETRIBUTION? If so then I probs should be voting out Brett so I'm 'confirmed' immunity but if I do that and Claire or Jared win then a Claire/Jared f2 wouldn't be a good end to the season (sorry Jared when you read this lol! I love you but I WANNA BE THE LAST REBEL STANDING BC I FEEL LIKE I DESERVE IT) imo. I JUST WANT IT TO BE DAY 39.

ALSO SINCE IT'S DAY 38, I EITHER HAVE THE SOLE MOST DAYS PLAYED (IF IT'S FTC TOMORROW) OR THE JOINT MOST DAYS PLAYED (IF IT'S NOT FTC).

"akitaipu"

- This is it down to the wire Tikal flashbacks of getting 4th are running through my brain over and over and hopefully I can rewrite that

"akitaipu"

- I lost immunity but honestly I'm not surprised at all haha I didn't have the time to really give it my all which really sucks.

So right now I feel semi safe? I wouldn't be surprised if Jared and Jamie were stringing me along only to tell me just before the vote that I'm going home but as of now they have told me I'm staying and I believe them but I'm going to wait and see. I just need to make that FTC I'm fully confident in the game I've played and I know I can win, I just need to make it there.

Right now to survive I'm making Jamie feel like she loses no matter what and that she's choosing the winner of the game in myself or Claire, but I feel like Jamie would actually stand a dece chance in the FTC but I can't let her know that. Jared and I have always had a good relationship and I feel like hes going to save me at this vote which I'm very thankful for. I just need to keep up my social game with Jared and Jamie while making sure they think that Claire is a huge jury threat (idk if she is?) so I really gotta believe my own bullshit right now or they will see through it.

I'm honestly going to be devastated if I go out this close to the finals because I know I've played a phenomenal game and I've done like everything I possibly could to make it here.

"akitaipu"

- I'm really worried that I could be leaving cause no one is talking to me at all and that makes me think I'm already gone

"akitaipu"

- This vote is both easy and hard. I feel like whoever I take to the F3, it won't make that much of a difference with if I win or not so it's easy in that sense but it's hard too because both Claire and Brett have come to me so I have to choose between them. There's also trust involved too because one or both of them could be lying to me and I don't wanna get voted out this close to the end. Brett probably has played a stronger game than Claire but he's made more enemies on the jury and I've been working with him more often while with Claire she's very likable and doesn't have that much people bitter at her sitting in the jury and I've been told she's voting me so it's a very confusing vote for me.

"akitaipu"

- Oh god I think I might actually be surviving this vote. I am amazed, this is so exciting I could jizz everywhere. But it almost seems to easy?? Like I would not be surprised if I was being strung along all day only to be blindsided tonight gah

Day 39
"akitaipu"

- TO EVERYONE WHO'S CONFUSED ABOUT WHY BRETT WAS TAKEN OVER CLAIRE: if the jury is voting on gameplay at FTC, then I would win. That's not me being like 'omg look how good I played!', it's literally what jurors have said to my face and on parchments and stuff. Also, Brett's made very questionable strategic decisions, such as voting out Ally who had his back, voting out Emile who was loyal to him, voting out Sora which put him in minority, and voting out Alexa at F5 when siding with Alexa and Claire would've been much easier.

HOWEVER, there is/was a serious chance the jury vote on personal grounds and they've hated me since the start, and so if they're going to do that then I'd rather have Brett win, who I really like as a person (not that I dislike Claire, I just have more in common w/ Brett!) and also because I think he's been more strategic and in some ways, more deserving. So ya.. lol.