Board Thread:Season 38 - The Ganges/@comment-30164581-20170207104858/@comment-30203302-20170207172956

1. Isabel, I'm going to answer this question in 2 parts: Why you should still vote for me and why others should still vote for me.

Why you should still vote for me: I poured my heart out to you and I don't do that with anyone, ever. I have a part of my brain that is constantly scheming in Survivor but with you, I turned it off because I thought that we had such a strong bond that you wouldn't turn on me. I just really enjoyed talking to you and I'm sorry if you didn't feel the same way but I felt that I was not fake with you at all. You were the person that I was vulnerable to and the person that could vote me out this game; if you had done it, I'd be in the jury right now. I lied to people, but I really think that I didn't lie to you as much. The fact that you read my entire jury speech and were able to come out of it saying "that offered basically nothing i didn't know already" shows how much I opened to you not just personally, but in the game because no other juror can say the same. I believe that we are genuinely friends and that is why I think you should vote for me - because I have a stronger personal connection with you than Miguel does and because I believe that I controlled the game to a stronger extent than did Miguel. Finally, if you were planning on voting me out at F4 despite how much we talked, then I'm sure it was because you thought I was the biggest threat. I guess, if you were willing to vote me out for my strong gameplay, you should also consider voting for me now for my strong gameplay.

Why others should still vote for me: I'm really hurt that others are saying that my intention was "to use and abuse" them. I made really personal bonds with Blake and Ronel this game and my goal was to help them during difficult times and I feel bad about backstabbing them which I mean is all I can offer until after the game when I can really express my apologies.

For every other juror, I either had no hand in voting them out or I voted them out because I felt like they would have voted me out first and I tried to lie minimally and only when I felt it was necessary. I wanted to break the stigma that I was lying unnecessarily.

Danielle - I actually tried to save her, I didn't vote her at all.

Jo - Blake told me that you wanted to vote me out so I did what I felt was best for me and didn't tell you that I knew you were getting voted out. However, Miguel did the same thing and he ultimately didn't have as strong of a strategic reason to not tell you because at the time, you were against me, not Miguel.

Felicia - Evacuated, I didn't vote her at all.

Dean - Dean, you tried to blindside me so I blindsided you first. You know that you lied to me repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly when I desperately wanted to work with me.

Cat - I lied to her between Final 6-7, but I told her I was voting her at Final 5 and Final 11. I told her who my side was voting at Final 9 and 10 as well. Moreover, Cat lied to me throughout the entire F7 vote as well so I think that it was somewhat mutual.

Ryan - I told Ryan exactly who I was voting from Final 5-3 and I made true on my promise to him that I wouldn't vote him at Final 6 despite what I did at Final 7.

2. I don't think I was being unnecessary to be honest. I played the idol and the double vote because there's no use for a double vote on odd-numbered days. It would just go to a revote or would not make a difference and if someone had already flipped then there's no point of playing the double vote. I played the idol because I knew I was receiving votes and I did not trust Miguel. I thought Miguel would flip on me at either Final 5 or Final 3 and I was playing the idol as insurance.

For the challenges, I actually tried my best to NOT be unnecessary. I threw the majority of challenges post-merge. I tried especially hard in Constellations because I didn't want to have to vote someone out in our Brahma tribe of Me, You, Miguel, Dean, and Ronel. I felt like the vote would get messy so I wanted immunity.

I also tried especially hard at Typing Maniac because at the time, the other tribe had 4 Vishnus, 2 Brahma, 1 Shiva and our tribe had 3 Brahma, 3 Shiva, 1 Vishnu. I really wanted to vote out AJ, the Vishnu on our tribe so I went all out on the immunity challenge because I believed that if the other tribe went to tribal, the 4 Vishnus who had a majority would vote together and establish themselves as a collective threat. I then could use that image to paint a target on AJ by saying that the Vishnu tribe is completely together and that he would work with them at merge. I felt like if we had lost immunity, you, Miguel, and I would be in a lot of danger and I wanted to avoid that. I wanted to ensure that we had immunity and I felt like I could hide behind other challenge threats. If you remember, Miguel got the 2nd highest score in Constellations and he unnecessarily established himself as a huge challenge threat more than me.

With the exception of Blake and Ronel, I don't think I unnecessarily backstabbed anyone because they would have voted me out first which I detailed in Question 1. Even with Blake, he's saying that he was seriously considering voting me out at F7. I guess I was unnecessary in the sense that I formed extremely strong bonds with people which made the backstab hurt a lot more. But is that really unnecessary? I genuinely liked Blake and Ronel and I enjoyed talking to them which led to us opening up to each other. If I had to play the game in a way where I didn't talk with people and didn't open up to people, then I think this Survivor game would not be rewarding for me at all.

I'm taking 2 months out of my life because I want to meet new people that I otherwise wouldn't meet in real life. You and I both know that I enjoy the social aspect of the game, not the backstabbing aspect. I'm in a bubble in real life, I don't get to meet such interesting people if I didn't play in this ORG. It's a missed opportunity for me if I don't at least try to get to know the people around me.

Lol, I wasn't being fake with you - everything I told you was true. I'm not sadistic - I wouldn't talk with you for like 40,000 messages if I didn't genuinely like/trust you. If you don't feel the same way, we can move on with our lives after the game is over and avoid our "unnecessary conversations"

Final Convincing: I trusted you more than anyone else in the game. Even though you and Miguel were allies, he ultimately chose to not even tell you when he was voting me which perhaps signifies a less trusting relationship. You know the game that I played more than anyone else and I do hope you vote for who ended up controlling this game more. Finally, I really think the world should see the parchment you made for me and since you didn't get an opportunity to do so at Final 4, maybe you should now? kdsbh