Board Thread:Season 12 - All-Stars/@comment-5051226-20140216193701

Final 3, congrats on making it here. You can be proud of yourselves for outlasting 21 All Stars of a pretty impressive calibre. For some of you, the pride ends there, but hey... It's the small victories!

My jury speech is gonna be dry, mean and brutal. This is my way of getting every bit of negativity in me out of the way, so it never damages whatever relationship we've built throughout and before this game in the future.

• • •

Lloyd, I'll start with you. When I approached you around F6/F5, you confessed that you were concerned because I didn't talk to you. You were reluctant to keep me at F5 over Gerda because, according to you, she begged you more, and you'd built a stronger bond.

I have news for you: communication goes both ways. '''Now that you need my jury vote, how does that play into account? Should I give you a chance, or would you understand if I didn't?'''

On the topic of Gerda's begging, '''I would like to hear exactly what her words were. I also wanna know if there was a strategic advantage to keeping her over me, and if you think you can beat her now.''' In your jury speech, you complained about how Gerda was so quick to betray you... Don't you think saving her in the revote makes you look like her doormat?

Good luck. Not gonna lie buddy, you will need it.

• • •

Gerda, you are one of my favourite people on the Wiki, and once this is over, we'll resume our lovely conversations about food, relationships, best-selling novel series, etc.

But now, I do have a lot to get off my chest. If there's anyone I have the biggest issue with the way they handled the F5 round, it's you. Really, had you just cast your vote against Taylor and played your Idol, had you just followed your own plan for that round, none of the craziness that ensued could've even happened. None of it. That's where you lost my jury vote. But then you approached me and told me you actually thought about keeping Taylor, not because you felt like your relationship with him was worth taking him to the F3, but because you heard that the jury and the Viewing Lounge did not approve of the way he handled the Idol fiasco. '''Where the hell did you hear that from? Is that the only time you based a decision on the public's perception of the game?'''

The truth is I hated myself for enabling your behaviour in this game. I closed my eyes on a lot of stupid things you did because I knew you needed my support as a friend, and you know, I came into this game knowing my limits, and one of the things that I held dearest to my heart was, regardless of the outcome, I'd prioritise our friendship over the game. But then, at F5, not only you were ready to send me home even though we'd promised each other not to vote against each other... You did it after throwing every single person who didn't have the Individual Immunity Necklace under the bus. You were pretty much ready to punish me for your mistake of giving back the Idol to Taylor. That just didn't sit right with me at all, and I've had a lot of anger in me ever since. When Lloyd declared to me that he was going to keep you because you begged him more, I was disgusted. The reason I was going home wasn't necessarily because I'd made a crucial gameplay mistake, I was going home because Lloyd pitied you. There was nothing sensible I could say about you having better chances to beat him in a jury vote that could sway him... and that just showed me that you played this game on an emotional level and manipulated people's emotions to get yourself further. So then I looked back on every conversation we've had, and I got angry at myself for making myself a protector of your emotions, when you didn't care that much about how it'd make me feel if I was voted out as long as I was not directly mad at you. It felt like emotional blackmailing.

I went out in the worst possible way: feeling rejected because I just wasn't as likeable as you. This is how the process that went through everyone's mind the round I left looked to me: "Oh, screw Andrei and his feelings, provided he has any, Gerda is gonna be so much more devastated if we vote her out now, despite her treating us all like crap".

I'm blaming most of it on you. I won't deny that I have my share of responsibilities, but ultimately, you hyped me up about beating my previous placement, you held all the cards that round, you allowed the situation to be as chaotic as it was, and you didn't take the fall for it: I did. There's just no way you can expect me to reward you for that with my vote now. Seeing everyone cheer for you no matter what happens drives me nuts, and it drives me even more crazy that I was part of that crowd. I've given you enough emotional support throughout the game; I was your rock, as you've told me several times. Now if you're gonna win, I don't want any part of it anymore, or there's no way I'll be able to look at myself in a mirror without feeling like your nice little doormat, and I can't afford to lose whatever little self-esteem I have.

Good luck.

• • •

Ben, pretty boy Ben! Going into this vote, you obviously have the edge over the other competitors as far as I'm concerned, but, to quote the flamboyant Cher, boy if you want my vote, you gotta take it like a man.

A lot of your decisions seemed unilateral and somewhat spontaneous... Emphasis on seemed. I want you to go through the 3 most crucial moves you think you've made, and tell me what your thought process behind those moves what, what conversations you had leading you to these moves, and who knew that you were going for these moves. You can use a bullet point system to answer this question if it's easier. (example: Adam's ouster • I needed him out because... • I talked to X and Y about this and we said that... • A and B knew I was voting him out, Z knew I was going to play the Idol, etc.

if you need clarification, feel free to ask.)

I've told you several times that you were my personal #1, and I meant it: my plan was to go with you and Gerda to the F3... But you've hidden a lot from me, and I feel like if we'd communicated better, we could've been sitting here now. Now that I'm out, do you find it more convenient to be against Lloyd and Gerda, or would you have preferred to be sitting here with other people? I'm expecting your answer to be mixed, so feel free to elaborate on all the pros and cons of this F3 and those of any other F3 plan you might've had.

Finally, I want to finish on a more positive note, and say that I was really touched by your Rites of passage. I wanted to message you, hug you IRL, because I honestly didn't expect you to be attached to me like that. I'm never really confident that people like me, so when Gerda posted in the FB page that she was not going to vote for you or Lloyd, I was like "okay then, he just threw me under the bus for a F3 spot...", and I was kinda upset; I felt rejected. But then I read those words from your Rop and I didn't care anymore; I was happy you made the best out of a situation that must've been really hurtful to you too.

I've wished everyone else good luck out of sportsmanship, but I really wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart. 