I Can Barely Think Straight/Confessionals

Day 37
"maresia"

- Rest in peace emma </3

Spenshahug.gif

I know she fought EXTREMELY hard every moment of this game and really wanted to stay, which is unfortunately the reason why (well that and bc she was gunning for me) it became my mission to vote her out.

But on a way happier note I MADE THE FINALE I MADE THE FINALE JKDSKFHDIUFHAIDUHFAHKHJDFHJDF I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OMGGGGG

Natalieandersonsus.gif

I'm ready to go A W F in these final challenges! Bless my soul this was like the absolute best case scenario for this vote, HECK it's been the best case scenario for me pretty much every single vote this merge other than that 1-1-1 tie (rip tyler :. I've never been so motivated before tbh..WHEW the finish line is closer than ever :D

"maresia"

- Dang it, Josh.

I am so frustrated with Josh right now. He has told me time and time again that he is voting with me and still has yet to done it and it makes me so mad. Like you aren't going to win if you don't make big moves.

I can't win a dang challenge. Like this is getting frustrating. Sorry I don't read up on CV trivia!

Josh is telling me he is voting Lindsay with me. Do I believe him? Well no. But I mean he is close enough. He may be lying to me but there is no way I'm convincing Heather.

Day 38
"maresia"

- Well, I'm in the final three now after bidding Lindsay adieu. That was the hardest I've taken anyone being voted out so far because Lindsay is honestly a wonderful human being. I'm pretty sure she will be blindsided by it so I have yet to get her reaction to me betraying our final 2 deal (she hasn't come online yet). It probably looks to the jury that I was manipulated by Josh and Brayden and that's not the case, soo rip me I'm gonna have to deal with that at final tribal. If I win the final immunity, which I'm assuming I'm going to since Brayden and Josh aren't exactly comp beasts, then I'm going to have the hardest decision yet deciding which to go up against in the final 2. I think Brayden could possibly get Alto's votes plus Nathaniel depending on how much they're into his underdog storyline. That would mean i would have to vote out Josh, who...........I don't know if he would ever forgive me for that. If I take Josh to the final 2, I would be staying true to our final 2 deal and not have to deal with a bitter Josh on the jury, however I think the game he's played is miles and miles ahead of Brayden's game, and it's possible that he could sway the likes of Emma, Brayden and Pedro in his favour (Nathaniel is basically a guaranteed vote for him so that's another downside). If I don't win final immunity, well..............rest in pieces basically!! If Josh wins I would definitely have a better chance of getting to the end than Brayden, who...if he somehow manages to win, I'll be out of here. OK Lindsay just saw the blindside uuuuughhh hgh ghh I feel so so terrible in a personal sense...fuckkkkkkckckcckckkckkkkk this is horrible..I've been thinking about voting Lindsay all day and I'm physically shaking rn it's just so disturbing to have to take away someone's hopes in this game when you really like them and respect them. But that's what this game is. Maybe I want to win too much. I would never want to sacrifice a friendship for the sake of getting farther in the game and I'm terrified that that's what's going to end up happening.

"maresia"

- Heather is one smart cookie. She knew that if I went home, Lindsay could have a chancd to win final immunity and take Josh. I'm no threat to win the immunity, that's why I'm still here.

Josh messaged me and said 'I voted with you!' NO WAY? YOU DID!!! It wasn't a 3-1 vote or anything!!! I like the kid but I mean, you aren't gonna win. Quit acting like it was a big move.

It has been a blessing to have made it this far and I have met some great people. It has been an amazing journey. And I am ok psy there. I hope and pray that I can pull this off!

"maresia"

- I finally talked to Brayden after being in this game with him for 2 months and not talking at all. He seems like a pretty nice person and we've been talking about the events of the game, which... is basically proving to me even more that he was and still is in the dark about half the stuff that was going on around him. On some level I feel bad for calling him irrelevant and useless but I only meant it in a game sense!!! Which I mean..where is the lie, he for the most part was useless to my game and not actually behind any major moves that happened. I told him straight up that Josh and I have a final 2 deal, because at this point that shouldn't be a surprise to him. I'm not talking to him to try and get his hopes up, bc that would be cruel of me tbh, I'm just trying to get to know him at least a bit bc it's strange to have been in a game with someone for this long and pretty much know nothing about them.

"maresia"

- ok you know what I hate this challenge I would rather be SLEEPING right now but I really need to guarantee myself safety even though I want to scoop my eyeballs out with spoons every time I have to wake up to do this damn challenge in the middle of the night. if you had asked me to do my RoP after doing this I think I would die lmao what I said to people would be a whole nother story since I can barely think straight or even function right now. RIP me because this sucks.

"maresia"

- 2048..is the most demonic soul sucking game to ever be invented. I thought last night was bad, ohhhh honey if only I had known I would literally be sitting at a computer for four hours trying to beat this damn game. If I can't finish this, that's going to be so ridiculously embarrassing...... I'll never be able to show my face again tbh this would be me

Gagawheelchair.gif

I guess I can always hope that Josh and Brayden are also flops @ this because idek if I will ever complete it.

"maresia"

- Well, a stupid mistake cost me 2nd place. Of FREAKING COURSE.

I am about to punch my laptop because this stupid pizza game takes forever, we have to finish a 2048 puzzle which I hope is correct because it sucked. WHY CAN'T WE MAKE THIS EASY LIKE MITCH AND LIAM.

If Heather wins this, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Dead.

"maresia"

- I don't know how deluded you have to be to believe I'm going to go to the final 2 with you and ARGUE FOR YOU TO WIN like dear I have not been busting my ass every day for 2 months for things to go my way to get into the final tribal council and be like "josh is a mastermind" what the fuck how could anyone believe that??? If me saying to Josh I'm not going to argue for him to win if we're in the end together was a massive wake up call for him........... I mean.....wow. Alrighty. I really really really really hope I can win final immunity bc I don't have a good feeling right now.

"maresia"

- Well, I fought as hard as I could in the immunity challenge today. But sadly, I couldn't pull it out. It was probably the closest challenge I have ever been a part of. I have some regrets on the challenge like not selling Josh out and maybe getting a better score on a level. But I did my best and that is all that matters.

Today I gave my final plead to Heather. True, it could have given her more of reason to keep Josh, BUT I mean who wants to see a flop like that get to the end.

Welp. It is my last rodeo folks.

Day 39
"maresia"

- I didn't even have to rattle Josh to his bones bc the jury definitely has that taken care of! I feel sort of bad for him since he didn't have any clue he was gonna get dragged so hard for his gameplay and neither did I tbh....I knew he would get it from some people but not from the likes of Emma and BRAYDEN like omg I'm really glad I chose to go with him to the FTC instead of Brayden who everybody adores. Anyways idek why I'm making a confessional I just needed a break from thinking of jury answers all day. This game has been so amazing and great and more than I had ever expected. I can't wait for everything to end so all the jurors can spill the tea about everything they know about the game that I don't.