Board Thread:Season 9 - PNG/@comment-1294345-20131023114912/@comment-15097301-20131023161405

Not my question though : P so ah...go back to where ya came from... Just kidding haha....

Abby: You seem to be a gentle soul in our private talks, but I see a different person as I read your confessionals. Among the two, who is the true Abby?

Who is the True Abby? Hmm... I believe there are two sides, the one in the game and the one out of the game. When the game started out, I was just 1, there was no 2 sides yet. It started to spawn when things went awry, first with losing Brendan when he said 'Vamos Amigos' and that fateful challenge when we had to split the Wewak boys.

I was conflicted about who to split 'cause we all knew of the Tea Party and our perception was, George is the mastermind of it all and we should isolate him at Mendi. I was conflicted 'cause, I thought he could align with him, but at the same time, the thought of he could blindside me with such a huge group could undermine my whole game. That single moment of conflict sort of sparked this feeling of regret and anger that had to be let out.

But looking back, I think letting George out to dry was a good move. Anyway, When merge came, Andrei and I had our plans to flip around both sides. I had no idea Mark was going to be voted out, so I was damn pissed and so, Abby truly came out and after a while when it got crazy, I had this perception suddenly of this brash attitude, that I could win this game and I was so overcome by it that I lost all filters really.

So in the end, it's really complicated lol. I am who I am, my emotions they get to me and I have a hard time controlling ya know. I was born with Autism and it has effected my emotional control all my life. But right now, I'm still Abby in the end. The fact of the matter is, I had a lot of anger towards the people and the game, I truly felt I was the best when in fact Uli and Andrei we're way above in league really. I doubt I'll ever be invited back though from what I've said against everyone.

But for what I said, I'm not looking for forgiveness, I'm not looking for a sorry or a hug from someone, I threw out what I felt. I have no regrets ; ) I tried my hardest in the game despite my life and career in crumbs atm, so really I had to go forward from it. Is it safe to say there's no way in Hell anyone will invite me back for another game? lol