We Have Nothing to Lose/Confessionals

Day 19
"none"

- YAAAASSSS. But seriously, we need to find the two people on the bottom so we can force a tie. I think for some reason one of them is Loxias. I hope that they talk to Malasan so I don't guess wrong and screw everything up.

"none"

- Merge fuck yea

"none"

- Loxias came to me and told me how him and Michelle are on the bottom of Jember and are willing to draw rocks to get a Jember out. Omg Malasad may not be sad for long

"none"

- Well well well. It seems I have made the merge. It honestly wasn't difficult whatsoever to make it here shockingly enough. We just kept winning and not going to tribal, and I'm sure all of the focus has been on the 3 malashits that have people probably going "they survived all odds!" "they made it through!" "they are so good!" like fuck that. Anyways I opened a line of communication with the malashits by adding them all but it seems they haven't added me yet! I don't care though. Edward said he was talking with Xavier and he was like "you have the power bla bla" no fuck off you want him to say a name to you so you can run to that person. Xavier needs to go first, then trent, then danielle. Period end of story.

"none"

- So we finally merged today! We have a 7-3 advantage over the former Malasan tribe. The plan in our Jember chat is now to simply Pagong them and then see what we could do. But I am a little bit afraid, because i talked with Chris and he said we have to vote Xavier because he is good in challnges. That means that I could be easily blindsided at the next tribal because I am good in challenges and they could just sacrifice me and nothing would happen. So I will try my best to win the first IC because I don't want to be that 10th placer who makes the merge and doesn't make the jury. I am thinking all the time if I should stick to the plan (Love you Keith) or go to the rocks with Malasan. Haha, this is kind off funny, bc people usually flip to avoid the rocks and I will maybe flip to go to the rocks. Now I like the idea of the tie more because it could eventually get me higher. (And I don't want this to be a boring pagonging season) #pagongsucks

"none"

- This bitch danielle being like "I LIKE ORANGE" and im like "wasnt malasan orange?" and she's like "OH THATS ORANGE-YELLOW." i mean, are you okay? There's a slight fucking difference big whoop im not having this tribe be orange. It's clear she misses malasan and wants that as the color. I would miss it to, being in control on one tribe and being thrown into minority on another. I talked with Xavier idk about him, clearly he's dedicated to this game and I kind of played to his ego by saying he should be proud of himself for surviving all of those tribals as it's a big accomplishment and he was like "yea it wasnt easy, danielle trent and I took down a 5 person alliance". Obviously he doesnt know how to play survivor, i mean it's obvious your together but by saying you took down a 5 person alliance shows it wasnt like a loose loyalty lets just survive until the merge thing and it's a full dedicated loyalty as they took down 5 people. They need to go first. Xavier tried gettin info from me he was like "oh i saw you fighting with bjorn" and I told him exactly what happened during the fight. Bjorn was voted out. Bjorn was upset and said we would never win. Nothing else needs to be said about it and I didn't say anything else. I told xavier we'll talk more Im sure when the conversation ended, I want him to feel like he can come to me and ask me to vote with him. I'm not going to, but by him asking me to vote with him it shows he's not going to vote me. Let the games begin everyone.

"none"

- The merge has arrived and I couldnt be more... mixed. Its great we merged and all but Michelle is still here. If she flips Chris is done for, I might be safe because she thinks were close... but I just wish we would have thrown that freaking challenge. We've decided to stay Jember strong and all, but that can only last for so long. I've befriended Trent and Danielle and while i like them both i have no plans to flip. I like those two way more than most of my tribe. Funny how I like my enemies more than my friends.

"none"

- IF I GET FUCKING ROCKED OUT BECAUSE THIS FUCKING KID DECIDED TO "SAVE MALASAN" IM GOING TO LEAVE THE SURVIVOR COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE

"none"

- Here we go, we just merged and I already have all these people from the other tribe up my ass like crazy, probably trying to switch my vote but one of them made the crazy mistake to tell someone that "they took an alliance of 5 down" ain't gonna happen again bitch

"none"

- Xavier said something interesting "it's all cool, doesnt matter how you start it's how you end" I don't think he's gonna have a well ending eitehr

Day 20
"semeru"

- Wow! and immunity challenge that has to do with creating something! I'm not capable of doing that and don't have any programs to help me do that. Hooray!

"semeru"

- In our new Semeru tribe, we officially made a new alliance. It is me, Michelle, Trent, Danielle and Xavier. The problem is that Michelle isn't 100% sure if she wants to go to the rocks. I dont know why, because she has nothing to loose. WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, and she doesn't get it. It doesn't matter if you are gone at final 7 or final 9. So i hope she will agree with it. Xavier offered us a final 3 deal (Me, him, Michelle), idk if I can trust him, he probably turn on his trio, but that is not the actual problem. I hope that through this offer, we can convince Michelle to go to this tie and try our luck. (''May the odds be ever in your favour.’’) Thank you Effie. But the good thing is that Xav told me that he texted with Alex about what if there were rocks, and Alex doesn't like it. So maybe he will flip on the Jembers at the revote, which would be fun. One of our next goals is that somebody from our alliance wins immunity, which would make one more person safe from the rocks. The IC is designing a flag, i am not so good with photoshop, I already submitted but i dont think that I could win.

"semeru"

- I feel like Xavier dug his grave. I don't think he's going to make jury if he doesn't win this immunity.

"semeru"

- this is the shot Malasan needed. If we can make a tie I doubt that the 5 other jembers will want rocks. This will be risky but may work

"semeru"

- so basically jember sucks. Chris is an asshole, mikey is a fucking lunatic, im not sure sheryl knows weve merged, alex is weird, and i cant be bothered to remember the other one because i like dani and loxias and michelle claim to be flipping to our side so i have to tolerate them. Chris made it very clear that he wasnt even open to flip. Like he shot down any offer/opportunity and i hope if we go to rocks and he isnt immune hes the victim because that would be the sweetest and most funny way for him to leave. Its almost as if he wants a boring endgame. Anyways, the only one i like is dani but she really scares me because shes made her intellect clear and knows everything about everyone. Loxias is quiet but cool and collected

Michelle and Sheryl might as well be conjoined twins

And i dont care enough about mikey and alex to give them a response because mikey gives me a headache and alex is really reserved So yeah. Im doing great.

"semeru"

- So shit's going down, and I'm yelling HAHA! It seems as though Xavier is trying to pull in Michelle and trying to pull in Alex. Oh poor thing. He's trying but it's not going to work, and you know it's not going to work when the people you're trying to get to flip are exposing you and what you're doing. Xavier is going first, then Trent, then Danielle. I talked with trent today, we didn't really talk about game he was just trying to feel me out like xavier was yesturday. I haven't talked to Danielle and I'm not going to approach her either. If she wants to talk to me she can come to me.

I think everything is solid right now, I know Sheryl, Dani, Edward, and Alex are solid I'd be completely shocked if any of them flipped. I think Loxias is also still good. I don't want to be overly like "are you still with us" to michelle and loxias as it'll make them think I don't trust them enough so I'm laying back off of them. Edward is the one who's really pushing everyone and I mean go for it. put a target on your back and show people that you don't trust them enough.

I made a pretty nice flag in my opinion for the immunity challenge, I've never designed anything in my entire life much less a fucking tribe flag nor did I realize I could make that in powerpoint so I'm happy with it. I hope I win immunity and I hope Xavier doesn't so we can send his ass to the pre-jury people.

"semeru"

- Soooo everything seems to be set, alex and michelle have both said the malasans are trying to get them to flip, and don't seem like they're with them. It's funny they're going to alex and not loxias although I mean they don't really know who's on the outs anyways. Danielle came to me and we had like a 2 minute conversation where I had to play dumb and be fake and be like "I'm sure your flag will be beautiful" just to make her feel good and establish a connection where she might not want to vote me out first. I really hope xavier loses immunity so his ass can go, like really badly. Everyone seems to be on the vote xavier out train and i'd rather not have the train stop and everyone jump on a new one. I spoke with alex he seems really on board and thinks the final 4 between sheryl dani and I is still real, I really don't know what I plan on doing, all I know is I have 5 people I want to vote out before I think of which way I want to go at the five and those people are the 3 malasan, michelle and loxias. I'll worry about if I want to go with dani and mikey or sheryl, alex and dani when we get to that point. For now I'm fine with being where I am. I don't necessarily trust alex too much, he seems kind of shady to me and I see he's more focused on this game now that we've merged with scares me, but he's only now started to play and I've been playing from the beginning, so. I just want to vote someone out, it's been a long ass time since I've wrote on that parchment and I'm itching to vote someone out again. I cannot wait

"semeru"

- whoa i made it to merge. lol. without anyone on my tribe talking legit strategy to me. lmao. i think pretty much made myself a target by talking to everybody on jember on how are they're doing and what they're thinking and all sorts of annoyance. like pre-merge shirin kind of annoying. here are few things: 1.) loxias wants to flip. it's no question that me and lox are at the bottom of the tribe after our first tribal. but that doesn;t mean i'm trusting him, not after he bit xavier's promise of final 3 with me. who do you think you're kidding? he's using you lmao. anyway, if i flip this coming tribal it'll be a tie and one switch of the vote can make or break the season for me. 2.) mikey said he trusts everybody on jember. which, again, is a joke. dude, not everybody will have a place at ftc. you can't trust everybody. on the other hand though, out of everybody on the higher jember tribe, he's the only one checking up on me which is cool. at least my presence is still known gamewise. 3.) remember the pizza alliance? chris said he's willing to stick to the remaining slices (lox, me, him, dani). and he even reasoned out his actions on the first tribal. yeah, right. 4.) dani said she's also willing to have that girls alliance with sheryl come 7 jember people are left. but 5.) my gutfeel now realizes theres something between chris and dani gamewise. or might be even with mikey? leaving alex and sheryl on the outs. 6.) i damn hope alex isn't committed on anything yet or better yet if i can lure him to vote with me. 7.) sheryl still leaves me hanging with the chats. idk wth is going on with her. anyways, jember people are freaking out right now if everybody is going to stay loyal and vote xavier. and i think malasan people are scrambling to get votes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"semeru"

- I don't see myself going anywhere even if I lose immunity anyways

"semeru"

- Yay! It's nice to be back in the game!! So many things happened to me in the past few weeks which makes me unable to balance the org and real life. I just broke up with my boyfriend few weeks ago, so kinda emotional. My laptop broke down, and it took a while before it was fixed, I started a new job, so need to learn a lot of things. So bottomline, I wasnt able to participate in Jember for the last few challenges. Good thing my tribemates won all of it! Hooray, I was not eliminated while I'm inactive, and now I'm in merge! But ofcourse I need a lot of catch up to do. It seems that they become closer to each other and i am now at the bottom of totem pole. So now that we're in merge, I'll try to participate in all challenges (coz I already have 2 strikes) but at the same time, remain to be under the radar. There are so many sneaky and good players here, so I'll try to give then an impression that I am totally not a threat and they can trust me 100%.

Day 21
"semeru"

- oh. My. GAWD. Trenton won which means if the vote is rocks 2/5 will be safe from the MALASAN side. I'm so excited. However they will probably vote for me which frightens me. Hopefully everyone is on board for rocks.

"semeru"

- Welll well well! Trent won immunity. Oh well. Xavier came to me and tried to get me to flip, I mean I feel kind of bad for him he's trying his hardest but he really isn't getting anywhere. Not with me at least. He's so dangerous right now because he will go to whoever and say whatever, you can tell him one thing and he'll run to another person and tell them what you said so you have to be careful when talking to him and it's why I'm keeping jember all informed on it. I feel relatively safe, Xavier thinks I'm going to flip and vote with them but I made sure he knew that if I flip it would be because he has the numbers on board for it. I can always say "I said to you if you had the numbers I'd consider it, you said you had the numbers, I talked with the people you said you had and you didn't have them after all, I considered it and didn't flip. I never broke to you what I said I would do." So yea. I feel I'm in an okay spot right now, I'm in an alliance with mikey, dani, sheryl, alex and I refuse to call it by it's name as it's fucking awful and not funny whatsoever. I'm also in an alliance with mikey and dani. I'm in an alliance with Dani. I'm in an alliance with Alex, Sheryl, Dani. I'm in an alliance with Loxias, Michelle, Dani. I think Dani and I are covered on all ends to be honest. I'm not too worried, however I do need to talk with everyone and make sure everything is still going how I want it to go. I can't get too complacent otherwise I'll find myself being voted out. I just hope I'm not in too much trouble with all of the alliances I'm in.

"semeru"

- Day 21, Trent just won the IC, the jembers are voting for Xavier, me, the Malasans and (hopefuly) Michelle are voting probably Dani because she is no thread, so she gets immune at the rocks and the biggest threads can be eliminated. Now everything depends on luck.

"semeru"

- As super suspicious everyone is being right now, there is not a single thing I can do. This is the disadvantage of a back to basics season, I dont have an idol to pull outta my yoga pants and save myself. Xavier is the planned vote, but with how Chris has been acting I don't feel safe. This is the first time in weeks ive been super nervous in this game. I hope this isnt a huge plan to vote me out.

"semeru"

- Holy fucking shit Mikey is the most annoying human being on the planet earth and his tribal council answers literally make me want to shove knives in my ears so I don't have to hear what he has to say ever again. I mean he thinks weed is funny, he spells it w33d which is like not funny at all, he seems to think "swagg" "w33d" make you cool or funny or something but it's not. It makes you look like a fucking idiot and I want him to shut the hell up for once.

"semeru"

- look at these people sending me a message about the vote while i'm at work. the shade of it all.

"semeru"

- Xavier trying to pit everyone against each other and expecting nobody to talk is ungodly stupid, I like that guy, it sucks that I'm voting him out for the first merge vote, but he's doing it to himself unfortunately. PS, Mikey is annoying the fuck out of me with that illuminati weed bullshit, I might consider flipping at like even final 8 to get him out because I can't deal with it anymore

"semeru"

- I feel like I got this game if I go to the final 7, in that case I have my majority of 4 with Chris, Sheryl and Dani and nothing is going to stop us from making the final 4 (except for 1 immunity challenge) But I'm pretty confident that I'm a strong enough competitor to win that one. Then my one grande finale final move will be getting rid of chris, who is basically doing everything and he can't really be mad at me because he will know he left for being a threat, and then I can sit at Final Tribal and sack the win.

"semeru"

- I had a conversation with Xavier. I don't know what to think to be honest. He isn't saying a name and he isnt really fighting, I got sort of a vibe like he's giving up but I feel like it's all an act. I doubt he'd give up. I really have a gut feeling that he's not telling me a name and not telling Alex a name because Michelle and Loxias have flipped to them. I just don't have a good feeling that this vote will be 7-3, I really don't. I think it'll tie 5-5 or Edward will flip. But I just don't know. I don't think it'll be the way I want it to go, that's for sure. If it is great, but I don't think it is. Only time will tell and I hope this isn't my last night in Survivor Java.

"semeru"

- AHHH I hate this game sometimes. Assuming everything goes as planned for this vote Alex is thinking really far ahead and I can see it. He talked to me and he basically was trying to get me to want to vote mikey out at final 8. I'm like hold on a second. I think to myself why he might want that and I realize I think he's planning on turning on Dani, myself and possibly sheryl. I think he's planning ahead and he knows for him to be guarenteed final 3 he needs to go with a combination of loxias, michelle and the leftover malasan when we get to final 8. If we were to voted edward out for final 8, at final 7 alex could flip and go with loxias, michelle and the malasan to final 4. I cannot let that even be a possibility. I made it seem like to alex it would be a bad idea for all of our games if we tried to get edward at final 8 as if that happened the malasan, michelle, loxias and edward could vote together and all of a sudden we're drawing rocks. I don't think he was a fan of that and backed off of it. I don't trust alex one bit, he's playing the game and he's playing it hard. I also think he thinks I'm sort of controlling things. He made a comment to me and said "it's up to you" which makes me think he thinks I'm the leader which isn't good either. I'm aware that I look like a leader to our side and might look like I'm in control on this side and that's never good in Survivor. All I have going for me right now is hope that xavier is gone and then trent and then danielle, and from there dani and I will have to decide if we trust alex and sheryl and want to go to the final 4 with them, if we trust edward and want to go final 3 with them or if we want to do things completely differently and try to stick with loxias and michelle like I think they think we are and vote out mikey then alex, and hopefully get sheryl on board to vote alex then me, sheryl dani vote loxias and then michelle out, then dani or i wins final immunity and gets rid of sheryl. Honestly now that im typing it I think that is our best bet to get to the final 2. I think it'll be tough, I think I'll piss so many people off but I think it's my best chance. God look at me. I'm thinking so fucking far ahead and I might be voted off this tribal. I really need to fucking stop.

"semeru"

- Trenton is so shady. He basically indirectly told me is thinking of voting me out. Like you have immunity! Let's pick rocks!

"semeru"

- i chose to be a fool with my tribe by voting xavier. dude, i'm so sorry i wish i could've known you more but besides being a challenge threat you also messed up my game by telling people i would flip. #shame. i so wanted chris out but like neither alex nor sheryl would bite it. and yes, i want to make sure he will go home so i can't risk the tie especially if they're voting sheryl (who i can probably talk my way to voting with me). i wish they could've voted dani, maybe i could take the risk with that. lol here's to hoping i am not getting duped again. if this doesn't work, then rip me to bits and pieces. adios.