Board Thread:Season 26 - Java/@comment-24808835-20150511225102

Hello, Chris and Mikey.

It's time for me to express my views on your games. I want to start off by congratulating the two for making the final 2. Unfortunately for the both of you, there isn't much else for me to congratulate you for.

I am embarrassed to be sitting here having played possibly the most boring season of the ORG Wiki so far. Nothing exciting ever happened until the rocks came and even then, the result was shitty and had no real effect on the game since the people who flipped had planned on flipping regardless. Also, I am disgusted that the two most unlikable people in the entire game are the ones vying for my jury vote. I hated a lot of people in this game, and for me to have such a burning hate for BOTH of you, shows how badly you fucked up this game for everyone - players and viewers. I can take any two players in this game, sans you, and that pair would be more likable than you. Yes, even Bjorn and Sheryl, the two most irrelevant people of the season (and don;t throw a fit, you two. You both know you were guilty of it). But, let's not talk about them. This is your night. You both did so much to get here.

Except you didn't.

I can't think of a certain move either of you made. The entire Semeru tribe was essentially a circlejerk celebrating Chris' superiority and ego. The only personality that existed in the campsite was the damn flag, and we have you two to thank for that.

Chris, like I said, this game was a circlejerk for you. Hopefully, now that you've had time to answer others and give your own speeches, that last ounce of cum is finally gone. Give me a real answer. The jury wants to know.

-Why were you such an asshole?

You treated me with absolutely no respect, especially in private. You came off as Holier Than Thou, and as if I should be ashamed for even daring to speak to you and trying to get an alliance started. You even went as far as to lead me on about making an alliance. At least Dani had the sense to tell me that it wouldn't work out. I wanted to work with you, and you crushed any ounce of that, along with any chance of me respecting the game you played. You're only here because you're good at challenges, and I think you know that. News flash - you aren't the only one who is playing the game. In fact, I can make a solid case for every single one of these jury members as to why they played a better game than you did, and it would be universally agreed upon. At least they know how to try and make a move.

Mikey, I don't even know where to start with you. Throughout this entire game you displayed no sign of awareness that you were in the game, and also showed no indication that you have an IQ above 18. No, I will not smoke weed with you l8r. No, I don't want to play any video Gamez XD, and no, I don't know what the hell your real name is. Which reminds me, I'm convinced that this "Edward" persona is an entirely different personality, and I've come to realize that Edward sucks. Granted, Mikey probably does too, but the Edward I met in this game was UNBEARABLE. You lacked any coherent social skills and typed in such a way that could have potentially made reading disorders such as dyslexia, and other common disorders in teens, such as 80HD (XD), contagious. You sucked in challenges, too, and I can't think of a single thing you did other than be the main person jacking Chris off. So, I have a number of questions.

1. Who is the real Mikey?

2. P!ATD or FoB?

3. What was the biggest move you made, and why did you make it?

4. What did you do in this game separate from Chris?

Before I close my speech, I have some final words:

Chris - I expect an apology from you if you wish to earn my vote. Admit that you could have improved your game way more, and been a more pleasant person. I'm sure outside of the game, you're awesome. But in this game, you reeked, and I need you to acknowledge that.

Mikey - If you wish to earn my vote, I need you to promise me you will buy a dictionary on the behalf of the Java cast.

As I anticipate neither of you will adequately do as I've asked, please pick a number between 1-20. And trust me, this isn't some Greg Buis nonsense. This number will likely determine my vote.

Good luck, but not really, to the both of you. 