I Can Stop Being So Ginger About Things/Confessionals

Day 28
"cuarcita"

- I didn't really expect the Kat vote to go down like it did. The entire day was filled with paranoia and chaos and I genuinely thought I was about to be blindsided. And then in the end it was nearly unanimous?? I was shook. Kat's final words also left an impression on me. Her only comments that she directly meant for me were kind but then later on she talked about how the pairs should analyze how they're playing and everyone should be aware if they're playing their own game or someone else's. That messaged paired with the results from touchy subjects have left me thinking a lot about how I'm perceived by others in this game. Do people think I'm just following others around? AM I just following what others are doing? Part of my strategy with this game is to push the narrative of me being a naive little girl who doesn't know how to play this game but do people now think I'm doing nothing????? I have a lot of pondering to do.

"cuarcita"

- Day 28 cano cristales yassss

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- Well Kat leaves and she was not ideal for me. I felt like I could trust her but I didn't feel like I had a choice and frankly was busy with work so I don't think I could put in the work needed to make it happen. Life comes first always. But regardless, my man Su was a brother from another mother for a long time and I never knew it. We've been talking about shaking the game up and making a move and I'm all for it. Let's fucking do something. I want to make an alliance with him and Andre called the outsiders or something to that effect. My plan is to kinda put the people who are viewed and probably are in a more power position against each other. TAKE OUT THE BIG THREATS I"LL SAY. They all have to know that they are gonna have to rely on more than just perception to win. I'm hoping to try and just get 2 of them to come join my rag tag bunch. Cause that's all I'm gonna need. I've been working hard on my relationship with Torsa who I really like on a general level. But with Kat out, who her and her loved one didn't like game wise. I'm hoping they will want to kinda take out someone else who's a threat in this game and take advantage of that. I feel like if I can get this to work out, then we can shift the game in my favor. Two days ago, I felt like my torch was close to being snuffed. Today, I feel like there is still a spark.

"cuarcita"

- CC day 28

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- Okay so also I feel like the jury might hate me ??? Idk people are crazy and Kat said I manipulated her ???

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- I’m so annoyed right now. I just saw Kats final words and honestly.... she has so much nerve dragging me through the mud like that after I tried my best to keep her in this game yesterday..... like.... i was trying to help you and you completely burned the whole trust we had. I’m so over It... SO over it.

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- I don't have much to say other than Andreas better not win immunity LOL! Also, whenever Kat sees this, I want her to know I was attempting to call out Andreas in a way to get Torsa and Jayme against him, but it didn't work because you spilled the tea to Jerry and that made them just.. not trust you! I tried... but like... there's only so much I could do!

Day 29
"cuarcita"

- So its happening. This 3 person alliance of me Andre and Su has formed. Now, the next step of this plan is to try and get the others to go after each other. Which is already happening. Andreas has already expressed interest in wanting to go after Brian this round. Interesting and not surprising. I'm beginning to think more and more about how close the pairs are. As they probably are LOL. But truthfully, Su wants Andreas and that's not something I have an issue with. I'm cool with branching out if I have to give myself a better chance. The guy is probably claiming every move and saying I'm not playing for myself already. and he's lied to me more than once as is. I've really been playing a pretty straight up game this season and I don't think many people are looking at me. As Kat said, I'm the easy vote. Well this ""easy vote"". about to flip this game upside down. Its now about coming to a consensus on it.

Truthfully I think Su is more connected than he lets on, but ya know. If he wants to turn on everyone then go ahead.... I think he's a threat but there are much bigger threats in the game. Like the ones who doubted me. They can go bye bye

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- After the past few rounds, I'm glad I managed to win my first individual immunity of the season. The Alex blindside threw me off a lot, but it allowed me to remember that it's every man for himself in this game. Right now, I'm still in a good position with my alliance with Brian, Jayme, Matt, and Torsa, but I've also been able to build strong bonds with those on the outside, specifically Jerry and Su. My plan for the long term is to maintain this middle spot that I've managed to carve out for myself and along the way, take out the threats I feel like I have no chance at beating in the end. If I were to name my boot order preference as of now, it would be Andreas, Matt, Brian, Jayme, Su, then Torsa, leaving me in a final three with Jerry and Elizabeth. There's a lot that could change from here on out though, so we'll see.

"cuarcita"

- I promised a tribe ranking and this may be my last round kjHFASJKHFA.... so FUCK! Guess you'll be getting that kinda soon!

But first I wanna talk about what I know so far this tribal. I will not be talking to any of the 3 that I've burned relationships with because it's a waste of my time... I know they won't tell me anything, and I just don't care enough to be lied to or kjdahdfsa anything like that! I feel like Jayme and Torsa with Kat, whew.....

As far as I'm concerned, the vote is for Andreas. I think my entire Monkeys alliance and Su will be voting for him, so wekjhdaskfdsa... WE LOVE THAT! We love it. I hope that Jayme and Torsa don't try anything cute since this is my attempt to give them immunity, but they're kinda playing super kdjashds gross games so !!! We shall see! I genuinely only respect Elizabeth, Su, and Andre right now, and Jerry's alright... but the other 4? They're literally going to have to do the most to garner any respect from me. They just have been caught up so many times in their little games, and it ain't a cute fucking look.

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- OK, so here are my current thoughts on my tribemates, ranked! The lowest level of this is just because I literally have openly thrown out their names and called them out, so I will never be able to mend fences with any of these people.

8. Andreas - I have called Andreas out for being an Andre-ass. He's had this thought process that he's so much better than everyone else around him since that idol play, and he's gone to everyone within the ""Royal Court"" alliance and just acted like he has all this power in his hand. I can't even tell if he's being genuine when he apologizes for things like making me play my idol by faking me out because it just comes across so insensitive and cocky! I have to cancel him and hope he goes this round, but I definitely do not trust him and won't if he ends up sneaking by. He has a lot of work to do if he wants any respect from me as a juror. I don't care what kinda game he plays, his personality switch from nice guy to arrogant buttwad isn't getting any love from me. 7. Elizabeth - The only reason that Elizabeth is below Jerry is because I just don't talk to her! She doesn't put any effort with me, and I think she's just Andreas's puppet... so!! LOL... I doubt I'll literally have any way to work with her until Andreas goes, and even then... I'd love for her and Jerry to go back to back after Andreas! Can't wait for Torsa and Jayme to ruin my fun! 6. Jerry - I threw out Jerry's name! OK! I don't care... it was the only way to save Kat at all, and it didn't even work! I'm just over the boring same old conversations with Jerry! I doubt I'll be able to work with him ever, but him and Andre are close-ish, so I think I have some knowledge on him over the other 2, and I also think Elizabeth is just more unworkable with at the moment.

OK, so I don't trust either of these next 2 people, but.. I at least kinda have to rely on them for now.

5. Torsa - Torsa has proven to me why I should never have trusted her because all she's doing is talking shit about me to Andre and thinking I'll never hear any of it. She's been super showing about her feelings about people like Alex (who, after he went, she was like, ""eh idc!""). I'm just over this personality shift that makes her think she doesn't even have to talk to me or anything. Once I can regain some footing in this game, I want her gone first between her and Jayme. I am more worried about Jayme's game, but I'd rather Jayme win the game than Torsa's uncaring self. 4. Jayme - Jayme and Torsa are in the same boat, except Jayme actually cares to talk to me whereas Torsa just think it's okay to talk about me behind my back and talk to me in the alliance chat and that's it. I know communication is a two-way street, but I'm really, truly over forcing conversations on people that just wanna call me a social threat while doing so. Oh, also... Jayme came to me and was like, ""I don't want you to feel forced to vote Kat out!!!"" but then proceeded to force me to vote Kat out. I don't get it.

I don't know how to feel about this 3rd person at all, but I definitely think he has my back for now.

3. Matt - Matt used to be my #1 for the entire game, but after he plotted against me and didn't admit shit to me after I knew shit was going wrong, I'm over it. And Andre also told me that he had heard that I was too aggressive to Matt on our call, which means Matt doesn't understand that shit will get back to me and thinks I'm a fucking dumbass. I'm not, fyi. I know he claims to need me for now, but I don't know how long that will last for.

These top 2 I do trust completely, and I know they have my best interest in mind, I just don't know if we can do anything as a trio LOL.

2. Su - He's slightly below Andre because Andre is the reason I'm in the know for a lot of stuff, however I know I can trust both of them with my future in this game and if I can make it to the end with both of them, I actually won't be too mad! I love Su so much and growing my friendship in the game with him has been such a pleasure. I'm so glad he's re-found footing and is in good graces now, but I fear that they're going to try to force us to turn on each other. 1. Andre - I don't wanna keep ranting/raving about these people, but I do want to say that Andre is easily the best person to talk to here on top of being the best ally I have. Alex going brought us together, and I just... knew it would be like that. I love him a ton, and I hope that if I flop, he can continue my legacy and win for me. An angel.

"cuarcita"

- well this round i'm starting to feel like i can finally play my own game! i think i've officially done enough damage control where i can come out of the shadows. i have good bonds with brian torsa andre jayme jerry and a working relationship with matt and even liz/andreas im friendly enough with. I feel like I'm in a good spot. i can stop being so ginger about things, and start throwing my weight around a little bit

i see andreas as a massive threat to my game, he doesnt trust me and has targeted me in the past, is good at challenges, and has big moves on his record. so overall he's just someone i'd like to see leave and i threw his name out and people bit onto it and now it seems like he's most likely going which is cool! he's not a bad person but i dont think he's beneficial for me in this game at all.

there have also been some big revelations lately. a bit ago i found out matt did the alex vote and everything, but then Andre also revealed to me that he has the merge idol. he is just super schemey and i like him as a person, but as a player he seems so unreliable so im keeping my distance as much as i can manage w/o making it obvious. i also made an alliance w andre and jerry! which is cool and shows me they really do trust me

im sorry this is short again, when i have the time im gonna make a big in depth confessional ab how i feel ab everyone, cuz once andreas is gone i have NO clue whats gonna happen or who imma target and all of that jazz. torsa and jayme will have the pendant so ill probably try to work with them but we'll see. either way, im not done fighting yet and i hope this andreas plan works out cuz i do have to vote a little early

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 29 conf - I'm a ball of nerves

Deal with the video

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- It’s been so quiet today. I can’t help but feel something is up.... like for Brian to just roll over and die ? I don’t buy it

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- I think we are murdering my Kamchatka brethren today </3 I have mixed feelings--on one hand, yeah I fucking love Andreas. He's one of my favorite people ever and voting him out is going to hurt--and I don't wanna betray Elizabeth, either. I also don't wanna give Brian/Su/Andre what they want. On the other hand, unfortunately, I think Andreas leaving is better in the long-term of my game. With Torsa & I being immune, Matt having an idol, and I'm pretty confident we can pull Elizabeth back in--we're at half. That's 4/8. I also know Jerry and Brian were on the lowkey beefing and Jerry might want Brian gone next tribal. So we take out Andreas, get the immunity, and then we have a lot of space to take out Brian, Su, Jerry--really, whoever we want tbfh. IT's also key that Torsa/I don't look like we're dictating the vote and we take a backseat, since we pushed rly heavily for Kat which upset Brian and made Jerry question us :// so yah

I don't wanna kill my Kamchatka brethren...I adore Andreas w all my heart and I do this this could be a ploy to get me and Andreas to turn on one another and then they all vote for me or torsa so fskgjsglsgsg. I don't know. Everyone is so quiet today and it makes me believe there's something more going on but I've felt that way for every single tribal now. I just don't understand how these people can leave such a clear power trio of Me, Torsa, Matt in the game for this long w/o making a move on us??????? They'd have to do it tonight or next tribal, and if they don't do it tonight, Matt's got an idol for next tribal and the two of us are immune SFKGSGSKGSGS. I get Andreas is a big player, but Torsa/Matt/I are a trio who were the driving forces between the last two votes?????? Ugh. We have to be getting played, or else this doesn't make any sense.

I do think Su/Brian are the single most threatening players left in terms of jury--Su is going to be the Kelley Wentworth-esque underdog who makes it far bc of they reconnect w everyone and can easily craft a great story, and Brian--despite being an honestly unimpressive player/out of the game ever since touchy subjects (a lot of which seems to be not coming from this game, which sucks), but his parchments and his personality can make him a jury favorite no question.

It's a sad day, but right now the ideal boot order has changed to Andreas--> Brian --> Su. Even tho su is honestly more threatening, I'd like to take brian out first honestly out of respect for how Su is playing the game fskgsjgs ik that doesn't make sense bc Andreas is a big player, and i admitted as much, but ... ugh idk. I just need to take a backseat this vote so it doesnt look like Torsa and I are the godfathers of the tribe.

"cuarcita"

- So my paranoia is riding up again cause of my possession of my idol so I'm like kinda scared honestly cause leaving with it would be awful. I can tell Andre still holds a grudge and so I'm watching him like a swan watches over her children. I am not afraid to pick fights with him lol cause I am not here to do badly lmao. I'm going to be picking up my game loads now woo. Not like it already was cause playing low-key and UTR is usually a good method. Like hello the big threats are still in the game and I'm like the 4th biggest threat. And I think I can easily spin against ppl if I lose fic I think?? Idk we shall see and I'm trying not to be cocky but I think I'm placed well at least.

"cuarcita"

- I've been thinking a lot about the Blood Pendant twist and to me, it doesn't feel worth it. It's tempting, that's for sure. But Jayme has been SO incredibly loyal to me and I could never betray him for what? Two rounds of immunity at most when could very well be sent packing the next day? Not worth it. I really like Jayme and I don't think I could ever do that even if it meant pushing Andreas and I furthur