Talk:Survivor: All-Stars/Story Guide/@comment-17738489-20140114171842

MPOLI

Gruesomeness: 6 *lack of build up *lack of realistic value - "The rope dug into his skin and Lloyd pulled, popping the bone out of place of his wrist. He tugged and tugged to separate skin and get out of this mess." <- If this was seen in a movie, people would laugh rather than be disgusted by the gruesomeness since it's REALLY unrealistic * lack of detail - (mostly on the 2nd part where he basically said "he stabbed himself in the stomach as blood fell on the floor, then he died) although, i did find the 1st part really good, but since I have the judge it based on the whole story, I can't give the 1st part enough credit. * Bad mystery - What makes a gruesome story a good story is if it can happen in real life, aside from the story being unrealistic, the writers failed to write a reason behind their insanity. Stories with unanswered questions only succeed when the mystery is reasonable. In this case, it isn't

Creativity: 3 * I like the idea of an amusement park, but the rest of the story seemed like a bad Goosebumps book Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: 3

TOTAL: 12

RHOLI

Gruesomeness: 9 * very detailed – They didn’t just say what happened, they explicitly explained everything in detail “In exoskeleton emerged from the bloody gaping innards of Sole’s body, and soon the bones in his arms were bubbling and cracking. His face split open as two immense pincers grew from his jaw and there Sole stood, in a puddle of his own blood and flesh, as an enormous Scorpion ready to kill.” * Could have been better if they explained the agony of each character as the gory events occoured

Creativity: 5 * It was smart to use a medieval story and to mix in fantasy stories. I also liked how they didn’t exactly explain what the creatures were. As I said in the critique of the stories above, It’s okay to have a mystery, as long as it is a reasonable mystery. Leaving out the exact design of the beast opens the reader to use their imagination more so that they will automatically picture the most frightening beast they can think of Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: 3

TOTAL: 17

ZUMA

Gruesomeness: 10 *This is the only one I had trouble reading. What most people don’t realize about Gore is that you don’t neccesarily have to make the characters go through uberly painful experiences like gouging out their eyeballs. What makes Gore really frightening is the idea that it can happen to you, what this story talks about is basically a deranged sex craved individual who seeks revenge. This can happen to anyone. They also added stuff about Sharky doing…messed up stuff to a corpse…most people would rather watch every Saw movie than to watch someone do those things to a corpse. So I say this is a very gruesome story in my perspective…seriously, I was kinda hungry when I read this but I don’t think I have the appetite anymore…

Creativity: 6 *This is the only tribe that did not need a gimmick like a cliché amusement park or a medival story line in order to make a story. They made this in the natural status quo. Plus, they weren’t afraid to go into the touchey subjects like sex, drugs, etc. Plus, they used a (in my opinion) better form of gore in this story. Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: 3

TOTAL: 19