I Might Just Have A Shot/Confessionals

Day 36
"cuarcita"

- First things first...I MADE FINALE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am BEYOND ecstatic like??? I HAVE NO IDA HOW?? AND FURTHERMORE..........I MADE IT WITH MY F2, THE LOVE OF MY GAY ASS LIFE: TORSA! I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY LET TORSA AND I MAKE IT TO THE FINALE TOGETHER SGJKHSKHJSKHS. WE SPENT THE ENTIRE OF THE PREGAME THINKING WE'D GET META'D OR BE FIRST MERGE BOOT AND HERE WE ARE IN THE FINALE WITH A TWO OUTTA FIVE CHANCE TO WIN I AM ... SO HAPPY!! AND I AM!! SO SHOOK!!

To make it though, we had to say goodbye to Andre :( All the frustrations I had with him aside on a game level, personally Andre is probably my best friend in the game--even if our relationship became rather tense toward the end. I love him sm and it was so sad to see him leave ;; like. i get i fucked up our relationship by voting for him last time but ... godt i still adore that kid and i hope he's okay ;;

I'm ngl I was convinced i was leaving up until I saw Andre was probably self-voting, and that's mostly bc of how...just like idk?? These ppl have given me NOTHING?? Some of my frustrations w the game come from people still ""waiting to see what everyone else wants"" ... namely Matt. Like, it would have been different if he was planning to blindside me or if he didn't wanna work with me anymore so he was tryna keep a limit to how much he was telling me, but there is a strong chance that he was planning to work w me all day yet was still ""waiting for the others"" FSKGGSJGS? Like...I get it if you're in a position where you're on the outs, but Matt playing like that ?? in the final six?? WITH AN IDOL?? i just. he literalyl had all the power that vote and did nothing substantial with it. that's good for me, but...still...mess

Speaking of Matt Entering the finale, Torsa and I have started to devise a crackt plan to take him out. Coming into the final five, Torsa and I recognize that they HAVE to take one of us out. Unless they're planning on going f3 with both of us, they need to vote one of us out to avoid fire next tribal council. We have NOTHING to lose. So, it's time to get Crackt. Basically, if Matt and Brian both lose immunity, we figure that it's not out of the realm of possibilities to try and convince Matt/Elizabeth to vote Brian, let Brian vote for one of Torsa/I, and then me and Torsa vote for Matt. If that works, then it'd be a revote on Brian and Matt, and Torsa/I would have FULL control to take out who we wanna take out. Ugh. It'd be SO BEAUTIFUL!! We just gotta make sure they don't win immunity...luckily,,,I am a Mastermind.

get it? get it? no? ok

"cuarcita"

- https://vocaroo.com/i/s1gsNRydkpx3

"cuarcita"

- With Andre gone, I know I need this immunity win! It sucked having to vote him out, and then having someone else vote for me that wasn't him... but like I get that I spread some big dick energy on this season! I'm glad to have also passed my 6th place curse, but I hope it just doesn't end with my game in 5th! I really don't want that KJFASGHJ... I love this challenge, so I'm hoping I can pull a win out here and secure myself a spot in the final 4 because I can't trust these hoes to do it for me!

Also I know I said I was going to do a rankdown of the final 6 or whatever last round, but I totally forgot, but I will do a quick like.. who I want in final 3!

FINAL 3: Any of them.

KFJASHJFKASHFSKAHDFSa I don't know what the actual perception is of my game, but I'm not super duper worried about any of them? I think I've constantly proven myself and my game, and while it does suck that if I don't win immunity I could be completely fucked here, but I do genuinely see a route for me to win this game no matter who I'm against, and I want nothing more than to win to top off the end of my ""career"" in ORGs. I'm ready for a break, and it's ready for me, too LOL.

Day 37
"cuarcita"

- well fuckaroo and hit me with a digeridoo. jayme won immunity. for gods sake the one person who i wanted out got it. all is ok tho. i think i will be safe i think? idk there is no real reason for me to leave right now? i say this but like agh i will be SO sad to get 5th (like i can say its ok but its really not). brian wants torsa, torsa/jayme want brian. the question is: do i trust jayme/torsa to NOT cut me @f4 or are they being genuine? I can't tell tbqh.

i just... don't know what to do...

"cuarcita"

- i think i've made my mind up. brian i like don't know how to put this into words but i'm 95% sure i'm voting you out. i adore you sm wtf its not even funny. like normally i would keep you but honestly? you would win at ftc and like. i want a shot? idk if i get 4th i wanna end this game on a high note. or now i say this im being conflicted like brian has made GOOD points LOL. and elizabeth has listened to him and is now leaning torsa. like fuck me. do i win against jayme/torsa? maybe. do i win against brian? nope. AGH I DON'T KNOW like this better not be shoved onto me as the vote (i would cry but i would also be told) so fk fk fk. am sad. idk what to do i'm conflicted. like my mind is saying brian to leave but my heart screams torsa cause i love brian. FACK FACK FACK. jayme why u win immunity smh. hi future jayme reading this LOL

"cuarcita"

- I WON IMMUNITY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I am OFFICIALLY GOING DOWN THE LEGENDS PATH AND GETTING FINAL JUROR! WE LUV 2 SEE IT!

okay no but srsly i am so happy yet so nervous for torsa sfkgskgskgsk. i don't see why matt/elizabeth/brian wouldn't all just vote for her bc like. me and torsa r clearly going to go to the end together and like. we're going to force fire no matter what?? logically, there is no scenario where torsa shouldn't be voted out by the other three but SGKLGSGSJKGS i think matt and elizabeth ... or AT LEAST just matt wants to keep her which is hilarious bc we wanna take him out now or next vote SFJGJSGGKSJGSJGSKJ

like we were torn btwn doing matt or brian--i'll c/p what i said in my thread:

torsa and i wanted to og do the 2-2-1 matt plan, but we're fearful of elizabeth flipping and then it'd be 2-2-1 and they'd vote torsa on revote so do we risk it for the biscuit to take out matt, or do we try and go w the safer vote to make sure brian leaves and then hope to take matt out @ f4 bc like brian and matt have to go it has to be those two brian wouldn't take torsa/me to f3 tho, matt might so do we take brian out tonight since matt woudl take us to f3 potentially if he wins immunity, and itd be safer to ensure torsa stays or do we //try// to vote matt out which puts torsa in danger and then brian will want one of us out

Essentially, if we vote for Matt, we could accidentally vote Torsa out. But that means Matt HAS to leave at f4. like. he needs to GO. brian/matt needed to go 5th or 4th no matta what so as long as one of them leaves then me and torsa are in prime position to make the end ^^^ GODT LET US PRAY!! Honestly, Torsa gave up on the Matt plan almost instantly when i won immunity so SGGSKGK oh well. we'll just stick 2 voting brian and then mur_der matt at four bc like...idk i still am nervous for torsa bc i don't get why matt/elizabeth would keep torsa over brian. it makes no sense. but i hope they continue to not make sense bc then torsa and i are confirmed fire making at LEAST next time. aaaAAAa. We're SO CLOSE!!

"cuarcita"

- i hate this vote and this whole situation im in

"cuarcita"

- when brian calls u out and uses the exact logic u used in ur confessional against u in a public forum, i--oh girl we quaking

"cuarcita"

- whoever came up with emotions i would like a refund cause they are TRASH and not needed at this current moment. I HATE THIS VOTE SO MUCH. like i love both torsa and brian so much personally. i count them as 2 of my closest friends in this community and the idea of voting them out fucking kills me inside cause i love them so much. i really am torn. is this going to be my best game move? no. do i feel like i have much of a shot at ftc? also no. keeping brian GUARANTEES myself and elizabeth f3, but it also leaves the door open for brian to win FIC and sweep me at ftc and idk how i feel about that. if he pulls shit saying he manipulated me then i'll be annoyed (idt he will but the thought is there) so im just really worried about what happens cause I really WANT to win really badly like ive come this far let me day 39. i love how my first conf was about me voting out brian KJADSBFJ. im a mess and im ok with that

"cuarcita"

- elizabeth made a "we are so sorry torsa" speech and im CACKLING: "Matt and I have taken a really long time to consider this vote and listen to what everyone has said in the main chat. We thought it would be best to let you know now rather later that we'll be voting to keep Brian for the final 4. This decision has wholeheartedly been made based on us taking a calculated risk rather than going down a path of a tie vote. Thank you so much for playing this game as passionately and strongly as you have. We're deeply sorry and understand the hurt that we've caused but hope that you can understand that this is a game move and not personal." IT SOUNDS LIKE A JOB REJECTION LETTER SHCKLHDBVKJBKJSVKJVBSKJ I CAN'T AT ALL

"cuarcita"

- So I really might've fucked up, but like I'm still so proud of my game? Like I did the best I could, and Liz and Matt hold my entire game in their hands!

There's one hour left for votes, and Matt just messaged me so... I'm pretty sure that means I'm dead, but I haven't read the messages, I just kinda assume the worst from it because that's what I do! If I was wrong, I'll come back and make another confessional like AHH LIZ DON'T VOTE ME! But like I highkey know it's my time and they're just going to tell me it's my time. It's kinda shitty, but I did as much as I could and I think I've made some points, and it may be dumb of them to bring me further so kjAFHSAJ.. I don't know! Whatever!!

If this is my last confessional, I do just wanna thank the hosts so much for casting me and having faith in me as a player and I just hope I didn't disappoint y'all.. Each of you has really been so amazing, and I love you all!

To the entire cast, no matter what hateful shit I said about you during this season in confessionals or in the tribal chats, I don't have one upset bone in my body toward any of you! At one point or another, you've all just been super amazing and lovely, and I do love this cast with my whole heart.

I've had a fun run, and I just... yes. This is Brian, maybe signing out of Caño Cristales!! <3

"cuarcita"

- HELP.

MATT JUST FJDKASHFJSAKHFAS SAID.. HIM AND ELIZABETH ARE REALLY CONSIDERING KEEPING ME.. HELPPPPP HGELP HELPEDJKWHFDSAFAES HELPFDBSAHJKFASKFAS... AH... I MIGHT NOT.. DIE....

if i do, all that shit i said last confessional still true BUT kjHGFGHJSAKFHGASFA.... AH. If this is my last confessional, I'm so sorry. But kuFHASJLKFHAUKFS AH..

"cuarcita"

- really getting that villain arc huh. i feel. so.bad. fuck.my. life. WHY CAN'T WE ALL MAKE FTC. SOUNDS SO MUCH NICER. WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS. im gonna go bawl now.

Day 38
"cuarcita"

- I can't believe I survived that tribal and I didn't even get any votes..... That was one wild ass ride.

I'm continuously going to be called out as the biggest jury threat for the next round of this game by Jayme and most likely actually, genuinely targeted by Liz and Matt... but like kljHDS... whatever... I knew I'd come into this final 4 no matter the combination of people with the biggest wall between me and the win. The fact that I've even MADE it here... is so amazing to me! I do think I have a great shot at winning still, I just need this final immunity! I can't talk myself out of this hole anymore! I know where I stand, and I'm just going to keep putting my fire into it to make sure I can sit there and sell my game to a jury. If not, then I sit... the final juror and assessing the people in front of me. I have nothing but love for them, and that will not change... but I want this win, and I will be pushing hard for immunity to win this! I don't think I'll be able to snap in an endurance-type competition, but kjsahfdsa I also might because I want this win the most!! I need this win, and I'm willing to stomp on souls to win!

I can't believe the growth arc I've had in ORGs over the last couple of years? From public enemy #1 to ... an actual REAL boi who people like and consider a threat!? I could still fuck this up, and I will try and stay humble through and through because nothing is for sure... but I am confident in myself. 3.5 years of growing in this community have done me well.... whew...

"cuarcita"

- Also... I just wanna thank Matt and Elizabeth so much for this ... like I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. I don't know why they ultimately decided to keep me, but I do think dkajshds it was a good choice to ensure both of them make final 3. I have a long fight ahead of me, but I wanted to make sure they both know that I appreciate what they did for me.

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 38 - I'm in a tizz

"cuarcita"

- Well i just finally submitted everything for FIC. am i scared? yes. am i worried? yes. Why? because i truly truly want to make it to day 39. I have played my heart out this game and to see it cut short on day 38 would honestly kill me. i've been here before. not again. I mean i can't control and I think i'm safe but honestly i could be in for a nasty surprise so im really worried. immunity for ANYONE but brian would make me happy and feel safe. brian being safe would just make me v.anxious honestly. agh i am gonna go CRY. its just a wait now.

"cuarcita"

- So. Matt won immunity. Kinda irritating bc i was hoping to Showdown his ass and try and make him do fire w Brian or with me depending on who won immunity. All I know is...now i need 2 be super fake and pretend like im happy for him. for as much as im annoyed, i need to play as if i was planning on bringing Elizabeth, Matt, and myself to F3 the whole ass time. On a personal lvl, so proud of him. On a game level? Absolutely gross.

Idk this just...rubs me the wrong way. Matt brought up our alliance chat w Elizabeth from the premerge and said ""WE DID IT"" Like...fuck off. Don't pretend like it's us three. It's you two and then there's me. YOU TWO and then me. I am not apart of your group, so do not include me.

Like... i get i should be happy bc I'm in theory going to ftc. Which I am!! I'm stoked to potentially be in the f3 but i'm not entireely convinced. Matt has been so wishy-washy all game that he is cheering saying ""We did it"" but ik tonight he'll be considering just. keeping brian bc fuck me ig? That's just how he is. I need to just make sure Elizabeth keeps me and try n pretend i adore matt and am happy 4 him..gl noms

Day 39
"cuarcita"

- Day...39...I am...SO SHOCKED I MADE IT THIS FARRRRR. I can cry of excitement and joy. I' feel like I've been through it all in this game. I've blindsided, been blindsided, been on top of the world and felt like I was at the bottom of the tribe. I have experienced everything I could do in this season besides win. I'm like jsut so bewildered and full of emotions that I made it this far and I'm so sos os so happy. I wish Torsa could've been here with me, but I told her I'd make it here for her, and i did. I'm. just so happy and full of emotions.

I...am just so happy and I really, really think I have a shot at getting some votes. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself normally, and so every day in this game I've been worried I was playing bad or that I was being voted out, and now that I'm reflecting on my game and I'm actually here in the finals, I realize I might just have a shot. I might just tear up writing this FKGSGS. I already did.

I am so anxiously excited for final tribal council. No matter what, I'm proud of the game I've played, and I don't know what the jury's perception of me is going to be but I just know I played my heart out and I'm going to go into final tribal with no regrets and just...be as honest as possible w the jury. I. I'm just so happy rn...

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 39 VL CF - I made the end, but at what cost

"cuarcita"

- This season has been such an incrediblely fun experience for me. I got to play with my best friend by my side, meet a lot of new people, and I made some really great connections. I think I've also grown a LOT as a player. My first ever game, I felt like I was just figuring things out, I didn't really know what I was doing. My second game was like being thrown into a war zone and learning so much in such a short span of time. And now, I feel like I got to take all the lessons I learned in my first two games and apply it to this.

I'm still fully stunned that I made it all the way to the final 3. This is something that I never really envisioned truly happening and I still kind of can't believe it.

I'm also over the moon that I made it to the final 3 with the people from my very first alliance here. I love Jayme and Matt wholeheartedly and I'm so honored that I get to plead my case next to two amazing players like them.

Over all, I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful that I was cast, so thankful for the hosting team making this all happen, so thankful for all the incredible players who have shown me kindness, love, and all taught me something new. I'm really glad I got to play this game and I don't think it really matters if I win or lose because it feels like by having this experience, I've already won.

"cuarcita"

- Caño Cristales Day 39 - it's almost over. Its almost like I've been on a marathon, to get hit by a car right at the end. Fun ig tho