Board Thread:Season 34 - Cyprus/@comment-26703314-20160726052840/@comment-27995903-20160726072029

I made that move against you at least 1 round early, I knew it and if I'm being honest right now I truly thought final 11 was still too soon for me to turn on Alex. You were absolutely right, I took this game way too brutally. I hurt people on a personal level along the way without even realizing because I was too busy wanting to look strong and determined. I don't know how to explain this without making a fool of myself but the truth was, during the Craig's vote Alex would message me saying how he thought I was the sweetest among them all because I had struggles writing Craig's name down. That was when I started to have doubts if other people were also thinking that way. I just didn't want to look weak. I didn't want to be a social sweetheart, I wanted to look tough you know? It's just... I don't know either. It was from that tribal that I started trying to be cutthroat. Even though deep inside I knew it was still early for me to turn on Alex, I did it anyways. I thought that it would change people's opnions of me in a good way, but now that I'm actually thinknig about it, it actually did not. Alex if you're reading this then I'm truly sorry for that attitude I had after betraying you. Saying 'whatever' or 'LOL' in every reply to you did not make me look tough, it made me look childish. Eva, you were the only person who was there for me after my fight with Alex and I loved you so much for it. You were one of the only few people I was actually being truthful to about everything and I'm so sorry for not appreciating our friendship well enough back then. To the jurors, it would make sense for you guys not to vote for me after that trainwreck of a RoP but I hope this answer cleared up everything. I wanted to be as honest as possible with my RoP instead of asskissing but turns out it was just me being cocky.