Board Thread:Season 51 - The Caribbean/@comment-37911756-20190225200030/@comment-4184065-20190225234927

Hey Natalia, thank you for keeping it real with me, at this point I know I obviously need to try and be more genuine with my answers and explaining my game. I revised my speech over and over and I think I deleted all the authenticity I wrote in it, just so I could present this “ideal” version of myself, and try and craft my narrative in a way that just didn’t land with people and that’s entirely me getting into my own head. So from here on out I’m going to drop the bullshit and answer everyone’s questions to the best that I can.

To answer your first question, I thought I had more influence in the “Getting Elmo to flush his idol” plan than what I actually did. I didn’t know until you and Elmo posted your speeches, that the key factor for getting Elmo to flush his idol was Yousef acting sketchy. I didn’t know that was the case, but looking back now it does make sense. In my mind, I thought that the stuff that I did is what lead to Elmo playing his idol. From how I saw it, I said “Im using my idol and voting Elmo” and then Elmo used his idol, so I just assumed those two things were directly related, but obviously I overestimated my input there. Even though it was Jake’s plan to flush Elmo’s idol, I was still able to get players to not vote for me that round over the fear of me using my idol. Half of how a move in this game is made, is the execution of that plan, and I think I executed that move, even if it wasn’t my own, pretty damn well. The pressure pulling that move off, was entirely on me that round, and not Jake.

For your 2nd question, I went and re-read how our final conversation went down, and I definitely fucked that one up. If I had to put it bluntly. The reason is because I was ashamed. After you told me that you weren’t campaigning for me, I just felt like the easiest thing for me to do in that moment was to just shove the blame onto Yousef so I wouldn’t have to feel as bad. I completely regret what I said to you Natalia. I couldn’t give you the one thing that you wanted, and for that I am so incredibly sorry. I regret what I did. If I could go back and change it, I would. And all I can ask is for you to forgive me.

For your 3rd question, I believe that me not having a job or going to school did give me an advantage, of course it did, but I believe that it did not give me as much of an advantage as you would first believe. I wanna I’ll go over the challenges that I won in detail. For “Zuma’s Revenge” I will admit, I played this game for at least probably a combined time, on and off, for about 7 hours. However, I got my highest score that I couldn’t beat, just about 3.5 hrs in. For “Mssng Vwls”, that was a quick challenge that took me an hour-ish to do. Anyone with or without a job could have done that, I was just able to get a perfect score because I put my everything into it. For “Music Mania” I actually was visiting Toronto, and I was at my boyfriends house during this time. He was kind enough to let me go into the other room, and get the challenge done and submitted, in about 2 hours after the challenge was first posted. Again, something I think anyone else can do, even from vacation apparently. For the FIC, I guess I have to split this up into 4 parts. For the flag challenge, I actually made that all the way back in the FINAL 8. I knew a flag challenge was a huge possibility. I went to school for graphic design, so designing the flag wasn’t that time consuming for me. My risk of doing a challenge early in the event of it happening, paid off for me. For the logic puzzle, that took me less than 2 hours out of a possible 42 hours. The flash game, I was able to get my highest score after about 7 hours of play. I played longer, but wasn’t able to beat it, because I was so sleep deprived from the Endurance challenge. I stayed up for 30 hours to get that Trial Part’s victory, and that was probably the single biggest advantage from not being employed, and I didn’t even need it. Everyone else dropped out after 6 hours. Most of the challenges (and FIC parts) that I won, were completed in under 4 hours. Does not having a job give me an advantage? 100%, absolutely, but I feel that shouldn’t take away from how hard I had to bust my ass off to win these challenges. I never half assed any of them, and I really hope that you guys don’t take my lack of job/school as the sole factor as to why I won all the challenges that I did, because there were people who came close to beating me, who DID have school or a job. Karsten in Sunny Day Sky (the difference between 3.1m and 5.8m is only about 300 cars, which in that game is about 3 minutes) and Su in the music challenge who got 13/15, a single song behind me, and Karsten did beat me in the logic puzzle trial. I did need challenge wins to make it to where I am now, that is undeniable. And you are right about saying my social game not being able to carry me to the end. But It would have carried me to the final 6 (Jake said it himself, he felt like I only needed the last 2 immunity wins), and I had to actively plan for that. I believe my game would have been able to get me to the final 6 without winning challenges, and then I just had to win two. I was in this spot, intentionally with the people that I felt I had the best chance to win against. I gave it everything I had, because I knew this was the only way I’d have a chance to even talk to the jury. There are many great players in survivor where “if they just won that last challenge” they would have made great winners, and if they did, I wouldn’t take that away from them, because challenges are a part of this game. Not everyone can rely 100% entirely on their social game alone to make it to the end, sometimes you need that clutch challenge win or two, to push you over that edge.

It feels good to get this stuff off of my chest, and I hope I could give you the answers that you were looking for Natalia.