Board Thread:Season 22 - Similan Islands/@comment-25453818-20150103084016/@comment-1524497-20150104030010

You're absolutely right, I believe I can beat shitty people before I can beat Katie, Hugo, or Diego, to win Survivor you need to get to the end and then get the votes. I had to figure out the getting there first and then when I saw a way I could get with both Los Ornitorrincos and the Fab 5, I had to pick a say, and I'm sorry but I liked my chances better with the vile human beings.

It's not that I didn't think you guys were not gonna be loyal to me, but let's face it, we were four people and only three can get to the end and you spent all that time on NuPayang together, I remember when you told me Solar was the one getting the votes and then you all voted Bryce out and when I asked it was like: Yeah, that was the plan. Those were the kind of things that made me first like had I chose to go with you, maybe the relationship you three had would be stronger than mine could ever be. With Rick, Red and Tom, they didn't really trust each at the beginning of the merge, I was their closest ally so it made sense going to the end with them.

I know F9 seemed like it was too early, even though I'd already had talks about you being the first from the threesome to leave, I wanted to do it after Erlend was gone and postpone the inevitable a little bit but when Rick pulled that rant about going for either you or Tom, he told me he'd gladly vote Erlend out after you were gone so I helped his case. By then I'd picked their side and needed to take one of you three out, especially since I knew you looked for both the re-hidden Payang idol and the Yum Yum idol.

I don't think I'm a selfish person irl, but who knows, I'd have to ask my friends and family, but playing this game yeah, I was pretty selfish, every move had to help my individual game and even though I disagree with you about me not being able to form friendships during the season, there was never a point where I wavered in voting someone out, even if I really liked that person on a personal level. I wasn't lying when I said I liked you three and it sucked to do it, Hugo especially because I know he took it to heart, and voting for Red also made me feel really shitty since I came to find him to be a really nice guy. It didn't feel good, I didn't rejoice in voting you guys out but at the end of the day, I was ok with the moves I made because I felt they were improving my game. I guess I'm a cutthroat kind of player.

I think you're also right in the greedy thing if I'm being completely honest, because when I was casually talking to Diego and he was like: Yeah, I hope Nick plays his idol for me, I was like "wtf, I specifically asked him if he had it and he said no", you asked me what would I do if I knew who had it which was an odd thing to ask but you never really told me about it, and my thought process was that if you'd had it since the first week and never felt the need to tell me about it even when I shared my info of someone finding it (which I only told Diego, Hugo and you) then I felt like it was safe to assume you weren't gonna use it to help me which is why I decided that we would not throw the challenge and talked to Tom about it. I also didn't want anyone to know about my Miyang idol until it was time to play it and kept looking for the Yum Yum idol not because I felt like I needed it but because I didn't want anyone else to have it and use it to mess up my game. So yeah, I think I'm so damn greedy.

However, being selfish and greedy helped me get through every phase of the game, and it's not like I was mean-spirited or anything, I was just thinking about myself and it was an individual game where people lied and manipulated so I don't feel shame for not wanting to help my friends get to the end if it meant I would've had a really bad chance at winning by doing so. If I really formed any friendships in the game, I hope I can get past gameplay and continue to be friends after the season is over.

Ok, personally me wanting you out first from the 3 of you was because I had a stronger bond with them, I was aligned with both of them before you and I started talking. I knew that if I'd taken out Diego or Hugo first the other one would've never trusted me again and I'm sorry but voting you out first and acting like it was only a move against you and not to take a hit on them I believe helped in them not starting to rally people against me at F8. There was also the thing about me not fully trusting you for not sharing you had the idol and also because I found out you were also helping Tom find the idol which made me think you were doing so only to enter the merge knowing who had the idol and being aligned with that person so it wouldn't affect your game, which made you a really dangerous player in my mind. So as soon as the merge hit, before I'd decided whose side to pick, I was always throwing comments like this in the Fab 5 group chat: "Those 3 are really tight and if we want to vote one of them out the first one has to be Nick because he's proven to be good at finding idols so he needs to leave in a blindside". At the same time I believe I was talking to you guys about Erlend going first, it was my strategy that once I picked a side the person I wanted first to go from the other side was the one going, and I feel like that's the reason why Rick targeted you before Diego or Hugo, I made sure to set things in motion for your boot, so you're probably right about me being the sole reason for your demise. Sorry it had to be you but not sorry I did the move, and know that it wasn't anything personal, none of my moves were, it was all strategy for me and I hope you can see that I might not have played a loyal game but I played to the best of my abilities, knowing what my weaknesses and my strehntgs were.

P.S. I wouldn't say Rick had the biggest target all season long. People wanted him out pre-merge but he was in the dominant tribe and at the merge Tom was the only one who wanted him out but I never heard a compelling case to take him out so his target wasn't that big.