Board Thread:Season 44: Costa Rica/@comment-6702096-20171216061844/@comment-4387136-20171216081555

'''1. Analyze the critiques individually given to each of you. If you believe something I’ve said is accurate, address the part of your game you believe contributed to that perception being made. If you believe something is inaccurate, explain why you feel that way.'''

''For having a "weaker" social game than Joanna my defense is this. (I don't mean to give another Sandra reference but I just binged Pearl Islands and HvV recently and this came to my mind so fast)''

''Sandra said at the first merge tribal of HvV "We all wanna get along. I talk to everyone individually "hey how you doing? where you from?" but as far as strategy they ain't say nothing to me so I don't say nothing to them either." And I relate to this. I would do small talk with everyone. If they talked game I'd talk game right back. A lot of times I'd initiate game talk with people that I knew I wanted to make a plan with. But I was never going to talk to someone knowing that my goal was only to lie to them. There were many times in Joanna's social game where she just lied. She would come to someone just to lie. My own personal example is when she thought I was leaving at F7 she CAME to me and told me she was voting Hesh. It's true, I feel like my social game may have been quieter than Joanna's, but it was also more genuine.''

''For having a "weaker" strategic game than Morgan my defense is that he had the luxury of having all these options. He had Willow/Hesh/Conor/Me begging for his vote. He had Jon/Rhys/Joanna wanting his vote. People handed him his strategic game because they didn't want to waste voting him out and they needed him to get others out. And eventually he committed to me until F4, where he couldn't get me out. Anything he was doing I was aware of. And anytime an option came up that I knew was good for my game I would take it. A lot of my "whining" was probably from me trying to get things to happen in this game and me getting emotional when I had to say good-bye to a friend and ally.''

"You didn’t know everything that was happening that round, especially that I would be the one going home. I think that shows a lack of game awareness and a lack of trust."

''Usually one person doesn't know everything going on at every single tribal, some people do, but no one in this F3 did. Like Morgan not knowing I was getting to do a tiebreaker at F4, he also didn't know Steffen was leaving the tribal he did (I'll get more into Morgan in just one second!). Joanna as well was unaware of not only the same F12 vote, she didn't know what was going on for Nadine and Rhy's boots. I think I showed more game awareness than them. For your tribal I knew that votes were being split incase Nadine played an idol. I knew if she played an idol that you were going home. My alliance switched things last minute without telling me, and yeah that hurt me. That tribal was so messy that everything was left until the VERY last minute. But I still had Willow tell me right after deadline and before results that you were going. And I still trusted these people to an extent and I knew they trusted me to a similar extent. And I used the fact that I was left out of it to make sure people knew that I wasn't as involved in their lies when that group went down.''

''But a big thing I want to talk about is Morgan's perception of the first merge tribal that I read from his speech. He NEVER convinced me to vote for you and be the "only two" to vote for you. I voted for you because Conor wanted to make sure he was safe since you and Nadine were voting for him. I'm the one who suggested to Morgan that we put our votes on to you. I'm also the one who told him about them splitting the vote. The more I'm going on in this FTC the more I'm finding Morgan telling half-truths or avoiding the truth all together. I love him so much but I'm trying to display my game completely. The good, the bad, the ugly and the truth.''

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''As for the speech being the most under-whelming, there are so many jurors in other games that wouldn't take the time to read a ten page essay for a game they were eliminated from. And I've been a part of jury's that also hate when they give the run down of every tribal because it leaves them nothing to say in their question. I wanted to save a lot of my game to actually be talked about with all the jurors and address stuff I didn't get a chance to in my closing statements.''

"You are putting a lot of emphasis on the physical aspect"

''I feel like I'm not putting too much emphasis on my physical game. I am getting a lot of heat about my physical game but all I really gotta say is I don't think I relied on them. Had I not won the 3 immunities that I did, I always still had a plan for tribal council. And it was only 3 immunities. No idols, no powers and I didn't even win the final immunity. ''

''If I'm able to win an immunity I'm going to try my hardest to, and I did that 3 times. If I would've left without them then I'm glad I did win them. I put myself out there are a physical threat early on.''

"The problem I have with this aspect of your game is that it’s my understanding that people thought Nadine and I had a pre-existing relationship because of you"

''You ended this with saying it could be inaccurate and you're right. I never stated that you and Nadine had a PRE-EXISTING relationship. However I did tell people you had a relationship that was formed in this game, by that I mean I was told by Zak right before merge that you and Nadine had an alliance made in the first few days of THIS game. And I believe it was true. Right after you were voted out Nadine even said "there goes my closest ally". I didn't even know if y'all knew each other pre-game since she's new school and you're old school. I only ever told people about your relationship with Nadine that y'all had been together since early on in this game. And yeah I also spread it around after Willow and Zak told me how you didn't trust me. But that wasn't any kind of meta-gaming going on and this is the first time I heard of it so I'm a little surprised people are saying I said that.''

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"The first element being, some people on the jury think your behavior at times could be condescending or douchey"

''I think there's a fine line that I tried my best not to cross but probably failed. When I would tell people how I feel or tell people that I'm voting for them, it could probably come off rude. I'm used to voice/video chatting with people and I never meant to come off as condescending or douchey. Or maybe that's just my personality, but I hope they would've addressed it to me in the moment or in these speeches because if I hurt someones feelings or pissed them off I'd like to know. I don't play these games to make people feel that way. I hope you go off my own conversations with you, which sometimes were blunt but I hope weren't douchey.''

"The other being, you would whine a lot"

''Unlike the douchey part I'm actually aware of this. This one's really accurate. I get it a lot in my real life. I would push to get my way a lot. Usually I didn't get my way and I would vent about how I feel. A lot times if I'm venting to someone it means I'm comfortable with them, so for them to complain about my whining does kind of hurt (look I'm whining again). The stuff I vented would be like how I felt that people were more worried about their own agendas (which tbh they should be) and I'm expendable to their game later on. I'm a REALLY emotional person and usually I want someone to talk to about what I'm feeling. (My go-to shoulders to whine on were Willow and Morgan). I tried for tribal after tribal to save my friends and whined a lot through out losing to them. I just hope it was whining and not coming off as rude or anything. I'm really a lot more worried about my character and how people perceived me, and if they're going to continue being my friend after this. ''

''I can't see it being that big of a sign of weakness. If anything it proves how much I did care about this whole game.''

2. Why, despite the obvious flaws in your game, should you be awarded the title of Sole Survivor over the other two? ''I'm reading Morgan's speech again and I see little-no mention of his pre-merge game. I hate calling him out but I want to speak the truth. The only time he went to tribal (and vise-versa) was with me. He voted wrong 2/2 times until the re-vote on Alice. Basically I controlled his pre-merge game. I controlled his fate back then. Pre-merge game is something that shouldn't just be ignored, which is something he seems to be doing. Joanna wasn't here for ANY tribals pre-merge other than the one she went home on. I think I should win because I played all parts of this game to my fullest. I know physical isn't the most important but I got that down! I had a well-rounded strategic/social game, like you said. And overall I think I'd be a great representation of this season and everything we had to endure. And TYSM CJ for a chance at your vote! I hope this answers everything you're wondering from my perspective.''