Board Thread:Season 55 - Nakuru/@comment-26704581-20191025190906/@comment-24277959-20191026231958

Hi Alex! It was so refreshing to see you on the cast and even though it was short lived it was awesome to get to play with you for the time we did.

1) My lowest moment of the game was right after the final 5 immunity results.

I spent so much time and effort this season of completely overhauling the approach I played with from an alpha-type leader that bulldozes his way through the game to a stealthy, sociable player that maneuvered in silence and always held his cards close to the vest. It was an awkward adjustment at first but I truly saw that come to life this season, and it was amazing being able to play from a new lens and play with a lot of flexibility.

Of course, I knew that while I could HIDE my true 'predator' style of beasting out the endgame with challenges and idols, I was never going to make it go away for good and keep it from you guys forever. So as we saw that cover I had slowly unraveled, but I positioned myself so that when it did, I would be in a position to win out until the end, right at Final 5.

I first placed ALL my eggs in the basket of winning immunity.. I knew I was capable of dominating challenges, especially towards the end, and I spent the entire day of the challenge practicing and mentally preparing myself. So when the results came out, and I blew the 3rd round and lost that challenge, I was so very convinced that I had no hope of staying alive, as there would be no reason for me to be kept at that point. With Chris out the door it made every sense to just send me out right after, the last winner and biggest target remaining.

But luckily the privilege of having played this game so many times before, and having won in a manner that I did, is that I knew that hope is never lost in survivor and that as long as you are still in the game, as long as you don't see that picture of yours fade to black and white, there's always a way out no matter how bleak it may seem. I took a few hours to sulk to myself, but I knew I had a mission to complete and that was getting Nicole to idol me. It wasn't first time where I was alone and down in the dumps because that's literally what happened to me in Retribution, and I relentlessly fought by myself to the very end of that game.

So I overcame that adversity by placing myself in my shoes a few years ago and knowing that it's never over until that tribal council result post is out. And at that juncture, I knew I had time, an insanely close social connection with Nicole, and a story to tell her. After stewing in my own misery that night, I decided to write up a plea to Nicole that invoked both emotion and logic into this one giant essay and sent it to her before falling asleep. I wanted her to idol me not just because it would be a beneficial game wise move for her if she thought she would be outnumbered at the final 4, but also because of the close relationship we built and how special that it would be for us to run it to the end together, especially after having only met at merge.

I sent the essay to her, fell asleep and woke up to her heavily considering it. It was extremely early in the morning but adrenaline kicked in, and I went back and forth with Nicole for hours convincing her why the idol play was in her best interest. It was maybe a little before the afternoon the day of tribal that she confirmed she wanted to idol me, and the rest was history. In 4 seasons of playing and 106 days of gameplay, that one round represented both the lowest of my lows and the highest of my highs and even though I've talked about it multiple times in these speeches it's still truly captivating and amazing to me that it still happened.   2) To me, winning this game would be the culmination and storybook ending of a nearly 5 year journey I've had on main ORG.

When I first came to wiki orgs, I had my sights set on becoming one of the most well known and best players to have done it, and that obviously came to a screeching halt when I was canned 3 days into the game. But if you somehow told me that 5 years later, I would undergo the maturation process that I did, that I would grow and develop into the player I am today, that I would win in such a spectacular and grand fashion my 2nd time around, only to be shot out of the stars my 3rd go, but then turn it ALL AROUND AGAIN my 4th time and do something that's only been done once before in 55 seasons in winning twice ..?

Then I would've told you you were insane, but that's the magic of Survivor. It truly is a never ending journey where we all shape our own stories and etch ourselves into its history. And winning this game to me, for a second time overall, after 55 seasons in this place and having only seen it happen once before, would truly be so special for me. It would show that for every time I got knocked down hard, I came back even stronger. It would show that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind into, that your past shouldn't define you, and that limits can be broken (or tied in this case).

I really am the most insanely competitive person I know, and winning to me would be the ultimate reward to every last bit of effort I put into this game. It would be the perfect ride into the sunset, and I could proudly walk away from this org journey with having put every last chip on the table and having given it everything I had.

I hope the jurors reading this can also understand that I don't want you guys to vote for me just because a vote would complete this perfect narrative or storyline. I want to have earned this win every step of the way and only if I was the most deserving in your eyes. I hope you Alex and anyone else reading this knows that. If the stars do align, I truly would appreciate your votes and thank you again for the speech.